


Letters of a Relationship Long Gone

by Novaforever



Category: K-pop, Wonder Girls RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-28
Updated: 2011-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-25 01:04:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 95,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novaforever/pseuds/Novaforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Wonder Girls have long since broken up and Sun Ye and Yubin have moved on with their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1:   Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Edited from original posting on WGspectacle. Basically future-set RPF.

 

The bell on the door jangled quietly as I walked into the café.  It was a little shop that mostly sold coffee and pastries and had a very calming atmosphere due to its pastel colored walls and quaint furniture.  It was utterly ‘feminine’ in every sense of the word.  There were no customers in the café and there was only one employee behind the counter, which led me to believe that it was never very busy here.  It wasn’t the sort of spot I usually visited, but that was for the best.  Any place more open and popular and I would risk the chance of being spotted.  As much as I love my adoring fans… well I just couldn’t be interrupted right now.  Not during this. 

 

I went to the furthest corner of the café, away from the solitary employee.  He nodded his head in greeting in my general direction and waved back apathetically.  I pulled the chair against the wall out and sat down.  This seat was perfect, far from the prying ears of the singular café employee and with a perfect view of the door so I could see her coming.  Urgh.  My stomach already ached as if it knew what was likely to come.  I couldn’t believe she came all the way to the US just for this.  For me. 

 

This wasn’t turning into a good line of thought.

 

Really the more I thought about this meeting the more of a terrible idea it became.  We’d both had our chance together and it didn’t pan out.  I’m not the type to hang onto impossibilities.  I left on purpose all those years ago so that we wouldn’t have to see each other anymore.  Or ever again.  It was supposed to be a clean break, no more pain for either of us.  It was going to totally ruin the point of me leaving if I met up with her again.  Why the hell did she even contact me after all these years?! 

 

I pulled my shoulder bag onto my lap and peered inside.  I could see the white of the envelopes reflecting the glow of the café lights.  It was a stupid question of course.  All these letters had brought her here.  She’d written to me ever since I had left Korea for good.  And I had never once sent a letter back.  That wasn’t to say that I didn’t write letters to her.  I did.  I wrote a letter to her for every single one she sent me and then some.  Yet I just couldn’t bring myself to actually put them in the mail.  A clean break right?  Urgh…

 

“Sun Ye…” I whispered to myself.

 

“Hey… Yubin.”

 

And suddenly there she was in front of me.  My carefully picked seat was useless to me as I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to even hear her enter the café.  I lifted my head out of my hands and let my eyes wander over her.  The differences were subtle.  I could tell that underneath her small, girl’s style T-shirt and form-fitting jeans that her lanky frame was slightly more muscular from her additional years of dancing.  Her hair wasn’t as long as the last time I saw her and was cut in a stylish layered mop, just like it was during our ‘So Hot’ days.  The biggest change I could see was in her eyes.  They were just a little bit darker, more hardened than they used to be.  They gave her whole appearance a more mature beauty, but mixed with a bit of sadness.  But that could have been due to the fact that she was currently frowning at me.  Did I give her this aura of sadness?  Was this all my fault?  I had to stop thinking so negatively… Yet, she was still Sun Ye through and through.  Beautiful Sun Ye.  Mature Sun Ye.  My Sun Ye. 

 

No I mustn’t call her that.  Even if it wasn’t out loud. 

 

"I know you are trying to work up an urban ‘street cred’ in America, but you are just crossing the line into looking silly.”

 

I hastily reached up to remove my oversized sunglasses.  I had completely forgotten that I had been wearing them.  Suddenly the café became a good bit brighter and even more uselessly cheerful.  I could see everything more clearly, especially the fact that Sun Ye was now leaning across the table to stare into my eyes.  I pushed back in my chair slightly to avoid being so close to her face.  I did not need that temptation so early in our reunion.  She was starting to make me feel very self-conscious of my clothing decisions for today.  I had thrown on a T-shirt from my most recent concert tour (very narcissistic, I know) with a slightly baggy hoodie on top.  I guess I had been in such a hurry out the door that I didn’t think of much besides the hoodie and sunglasses to try and conceal my identity.  I now felt like I was entirely underdressed to be meeting with someone who was (is?) so important to me.

 

Sun Ye didn’t seem to care about my clothing choices though.  Just like I had done, she was mostly staring into my eyes.  I wondered if she saw something similar to what I had seen in her own.  She still had that slight frown on her face so I couldn’t even tell what she was thinking about. 

 

“You have no idea how hard it was to get a message to you, or at least one that wasn’t a letter, since you obviously do not read those.  I had to get my manager to contact yours formally and then convince him to pass my message along to you.  Your manager seemed to be under the impression that you never wanted contact with any of your old group members.  Wonder where he got that idea.” 

 

Sun Ye frowned at me from across the table.  I could tell she was really upset.  She had every reason to be.  It was true that I had tried to remain out of contact with all of them.  Clean break… urgh I just had to keep telling myself that to make it seem okay. 

 

“Look I know you are upset with me…”

 

“Damn right I am!” she hissed at me.  “For the past three years you have been having a fantastic time living the star life in America while completely forgetting and ignoring the friends who helped make that possible for you.  We all tried to get in contact with you only to be turned away constantly.  How dare you!  After all we’ve been through…”

 

I could tell from the stress on the ‘we’ve’ that she wasn’t talking about the Wonder Girls anymore.  She was talking about me and her exclusively. 

 

“Yubin…” She sadly looked up into my eyes as she lowered her voice to a mere whisper.  “I sent you so many letters.  Being here face to face with you I can’t help but let some of my anger out.  But my letters… they had nothing but apologies in them.  I said sorry so many times.  What happened… what I said… I’m so sorry Yubin.”

 

“I know Sun Ye.  I read all of those letters.  Multiple times.” 

 

I could see Sun Ye’s sad expression turn to one of shock.  “Then why the _hell_ didn’t you write back to me?”

 

This was it.  It was a point of no return.  I took a deep breath and reached into my bag and retrieved some of the letters I had inside. 

 

I’m not the kind of girl who leaves loose ends.”

 

“A loose end, huh…”  Sun Ye seemed a little disappointed in what I had inadvertently called her.

 

“Oh… I didn’t mean it like that…  I’m going to be honest.  I find myself totally exposed around you Sun Ye.  I don’t think I have it in me to find any sort of elegant words for you right now.  Just… just take the letters and read them.  They are all there.  Every single letter I have ever written for you.  Read them.  I don’t want to avoid you anymore.  I wanted to just leave, just have you forget me.  Maybe we can both just resolve everything today.  Then we can move on after that…”

 

I pushed the pile of letters across the table towards her.  Some were in envelopes and some were not.  They were all in the order that I had written them in, with the older ones on top of the pile a little more yellow from age around the edges.  Sun Ye picked up the oldest letter off of the pile and opened the unsealed envelope.  She slowly pulled the letter out and I could see her eyes widen slightly when she read the date at the top of the page.

 

“This is from almost 4 years ago.  That’s before we even started…”

 

“Yeah, like I said.  I used the letters to work things out when I realized that I had more than friendly feelings for you.  They go back to before we were even dating, through when we were together, right up until… well the end.”

 

We hadn’t really mentioned our old relationship verbally until that point.  I could see the light blush form on Sun Ye’s face that always appeared when I talked about ‘us’ in that sense.  I guess she really hadn’t changed that much after all.  And nothing made me want to run out of that café more than that realization.  It would be so easy to make a break for it… I could see a straight shot to the subway outside the windows.  I could just slip out of my chair and then act like I was going to get some coffee and then sprint to the door.  My eyes darted back to Sun Ye who had started to read the body of my first letter.  Urgh.  No!  No more running.  I had to see this through. 

 

I settled back down into my seat and watched as Sun Ye’s eyes glanced over the words I had written almost 4 years before.  It was so long ago, but I still remembered everything thing like it was yesterday. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2:  And then it dawned on me…

 

I collapsed on the ground and could feel Sun Mi and So Hee crumple on either side of me.  As much as I loved the ‘So Hot’ dance doing it for 3 hours straight was a little much.  I know that practice makes perfect, but still!  We had been doing lives of this song since we debuted it MONTHS ago.  We all knew the dance, but our dance instructor kept insisting that we could only get better with practice. 

 

I glanced to my sides and saw Sun Mi and So Hee raggedly trying to catch their breath.  The two younger girls seemed to be having as much trouble keeping up at this point as I was.  Well at least I wasn’t alone in my weakness, although being on the same level as people several years my junior stung my pride just a bit.  Glancing up at the front of the room I could see that Ye Eun and Sun Ye were still continuing to dance.  They’d been at this just as long as we had, sometimes the willpower those two had was simply superhuman. 

 

The stereo system played the final ‘hot hot’ chorus and the music slowed to a stop.  The second the last note played Ye Eun fell backwards and landed right on top of a very startled Sun Mi.

 

“Oh my goodness at least wait until we are back in our rooms!”  Sun Mi shouted as she pushed Ye Eun off of herself in an exaggerated fashion.  That girl could crack jokes even if she was comatose, I swear. 

 

So Hee looked over at their antics apathetically.  “At least one person is still having fun.  Seriously leader how much longer are we going to have to keep this up?  We’ve been dancing for 3 hours now.”

 

Somehow Sun Ye was still on her feet after our rigorous workout.  God that woman was talented.  Or maybe it was just the years of exhaustive JYPE training she had already undergone.  It also had given her a svelte, but not overly muscular figure.  I grazed my glance over her.  She was just wearing her thin work out T-shirt and shorts and they were clinging to her fairly tightly due to all the sweat that had accumulated on her.  Yeah, not too muscular.  Just right. 

 

“I wouldn’t want you guys to slack off and then get in trouble,” Sun Ye grinned down at all of us.  “You are my responsibility and I don’t want you to suddenly forget the moves when we are doing a live.  Although you have been working hard so I guess we can take a short break, but then we need to get back to work.”

 

She crossed over to the middle of the room where the rest of us had collapsed and proceeded to help So Hee pull Ye Eun off of Sun Mi.  Sun Mi was making it very difficult by clinging to Ye Eun and proclaiming her everlasting love for the girl stuck on top of her.  I chuckled to myself at the sight. 

 

“Urgh, instead of sitting there laughing at us you could help out a little, Yubin!” Sun Ye yelled at me from the top of the now deranged dog-pile. 

 

My eyes traveled up her muscular legs that were straining to keep her upright despite Sun Mi’s best efforts.  “Nah, I think I like the view better from over here.  Thanks though!”

 

I continued watch Sun Ye’s movements with far more interest than I really should have, especially since this type of situation happened all the time with Sun Mi.  I couldn’t help but drop my gaze down to Sun Ye’s butt to check out…

 

Whoa.  Wait a minute.  What did I just do there?

 

I blinked myself back into focus.  That was weird.  I quickly got back on my feet and dusted myself off.  Sitting around was obviously leading my mind in bad directions.  Best to get back to work and ignore all these thoughts. 

 

“Come on guys,” I yelled over at the giant squirming pile.  “Are we pop idols or kindergarteners?” 

 

I could see Sun Mi start to open her mouth in response to that statement.  “Um… that was more of a rhetorical statement, Sun Mi.”

 

Sun Mi’s disappointment seemed to take all of the fight out of her and the three other members managed to work themselves free of her pile.  They all stood up and got themselves into position to start again.  They’d had enough rest for now.  Time to get serious again.  Sun Ye queued up the CD player again to the beginning of ‘So Hot.’  As the music started blaring through the speakers I could feel my mind starting to drift.  We had done this so many times that I’m fairly certain all of us could go through the motions perfectly in sync without even actively thinking of the dance anymore.  As my mind drifted so did my eyes, right back over to Sun Ye.  She seemed to be the only one concentrating at this point and it was causing her to make this adorable wrinkle in between her eyebrows with the effort.  Her hair was bouncing around her face and ended up sticking to her lips.  Her full lips that were slightly pouting from her focus and totally in perfect position to be kissed…

 

Whoa.  I was totally checking Sun Ye out.  Crap. 

 

That thought alone cause me to stutter in the middle of the turn step we were all doing and I was just off balance enough to come crashing to the ground. 

 

Sun Ye, ever the beautiful (argh bad thought) and considerate leader immediately stopped and ran over to my side to make sure I was okay.  Nope that was the last thing I needed right now. 

 

“Oh geez, Yubin!  Are you okay?!”

 

I was trying to avoid looking into her gorgeously sparkling (no damn it) concerned eyes.  “Um yeah… I uh… I think I need a bit of a longer break.  I think I’m just gonna walk down the hall and get a drink of water and wash my face.  You guys should keep on practicing.  I’ll be back in a few.”

 

I scrambled to my feet with as much coordination as my hazy mind would allow at this point and made my way as quickly to the door as I could without making it seem like I had completely lost my mind.  Once I was out in the hallway I made a quick dash into the girls bathroom.  I rushed over to the sink and turned it on so I could splash some water on my face.  As the cold liquid hit my face my mind did seem to clear up slightly.  I lifted my head up and watched as the water droplets slowly dripped down my face.

 

Crap.  I was totally checking Sun Ye out back there.  Okay, that was obvious.  How could I do that?  How could I _let_ myself do that!?  I mean I know I watch her all the time during practices, but that is because she is the leader.  What if I forget the moves?  Watching the leader would be the best course of action to regain my place in the dance.  Um and all those times I would gaze at her when she was singing… Well I mean, she has been training longer than all of us in JYPE so she knows more vocal tricks and it’s always good to follow a senior’s lead… right?

 

Double crap.  I know those dances front to back and have been singing just as long as Sun Ye has been.  Now I was just making excuses.  How long had I been watching Sun Ye like this and hadn’t even noticed?  Apparently it wasn’t terribly obvious since no one else had noticed either.  Well this was just opening a whole world of problems wasn’t it? 

 

I walked over to the paper towel dispenser and slowly wiped my face of the water that remained on it.  Okay hiding in the bathroom wasn’t going to help anything and I certainly wasn’t going to get any good thinking done in here next to the toilets.  I was just going to have to suck it up and go back to dance practice.  We couldn’t possibly continue for much longer.  As soon as we were done I could just get a shower and head back to my room to think things through on my own. 

 

This was gonna be fun…

 

I headed out of the bathroom and back down the hall to the dance studio.  I could see the four of them dancing on without me through the window on the door.  Sun Mi and So Hee were obviously exhausted and couldn’t possibly continue on much longer.  Ye Eun was doing her best to keep up with Sun Ye, who was still dancing like a pro.  Her shirt was damp all down her back from the hours of practice and was starting to ride up her back slightly…

 

This was going to be the longest dance practice ever wasn’t it?

 

 =========

 

 _08/25/2008_

 _Dear Sun Ye,_

 _Okay I’ve been sitting here for about 2 hours trying to think my general… situation through.  But I seem to be just going in circles so I figured if I wrote things out that maybe I would be able to make some sort of sense out of everything that I just realized today.  And about 3 pages of paper later I realized that I was just not the diary sort of gal.  I’m more of the sort of person that tackles her problems head on and I don’t want to be all introspective about this.  So I figured that there is nothing more direct than writing a letter to what is the source of all my confusion right now.  Sure, I might not give it to you now, if ever.  But it seemed like a good enough idea for now._

 ___So today I reached a massive revelation of sorts.  I most definitely have a hopeless, girly crush on you.  Wow.  Just admitting it to myself makes me feel better already.  Admitting is the first step, huh?  Alright, well now that’s out of the way.  Now I just have to deal with how bad of a situation I have worked myself into here._

 _I told myself that I wouldn’t fall for any of my group mates.  The entire concept of dating someone who you work in such close proximity of is just a terrible idea.  I mean, I always knew that I was more interested in the uh… more female persuasion?  I learned that quickly enough when I was training with all the cuties over in Good Entertainment.  I like girls.  There is another confession for you.  I don’t really see that as much of a problem.  I guess it sort of becomes one when you work in this industry though.  I’m totally surrounded by temptation at all sides.  Sometimes you just have to fall for it right?  Like that time with Younha… well I probably shouldn’t have written that particular confession in here.  I’ve wasted enough paper for today though and I’m not going to start this letter over again.  Just pretend that you never knew about that particular fact if you ever meet her again, okay?  Anyway, I told myself that I was never going to fall for a member of the Wonder Girls.  I really didn’t want to mess up my big break._

 _But I’m not going to just sit here and do nothing now that I know what has happened.  Not that I’m just going to run into your room right now and say, “Oh gee I just found out that I like you in the gay sort of way.  Don’t think too much about it, let’s just skip right to making out on your bed.”  I’m not going to be stupid about this.  I know the Wonder Girls is important to me, and even more so to you.  I won’t destroy everything we have worked so hard for over a silly crush.  I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to go about this.  I don’t even know for sure if you are already seeing someone or not.  Let alone if you would even consider girls._

 _It seems that a fact-finding mission is in order.  This is going to be very tricky, but I’m up for the challenge.  No one knows you better than your good friend Ye Eun, right?  I think completely exhausted from all the thinking I’ve done over this today.  In the morning though I’ll start thinking of ways to ask Ye Eun without… uh asking Ye Eun.  Gotta be stealthy right?_

 _Goodnight for now Sun Ye.  I like you.  Yeah, I could get used to saying that._

 _-Yubin_


	3. Chapter 3:  Sneaky like a Spy

 

I watched nervously as Sun Ye scanned over the end of the first letter.  I felt like I should be doing something other than watching her read about my thoughts and feelings.  God what a stupid idea this was for getting on with our lives.  And so completely awkward.  I sat up a little straighter in my chair when I realized that she had finished the letter and was folding it up again.  She must be about to tell me how silly my letters are…

 

“Younha?  _Seriously_ , Yubin!?”  Sun Ye glared at me from across the table.

 

Well that was not what I had expected at all.  I had _completely_ forgotten that I had written that little secret in there.  My jaw flopped uselessly and I just stared at Sun Ye with an idiotic, shocked expression on my face.

 

“God, I wonder what all her fanboys would think if they knew that their little princess was getting nailed by you.”

 

That snapped me out of it.  “Whoa whoa whoa.  Now you are just jumping to conclusions.  I mean, I did sleep with her, but still.  That was so not in the letter.  Anyway there is a whole stack here that you need to read.” 

 

I tapped the next letter to emphasize my impatience.  “You were the one who wanted letters from me.”

 

“What?  Read more letters from you?  What is the next one going to reveal?  That you did BoA while on a Ferris wheel post-concert?  I think I’ll pass at this point.”

 

Now she was just being immature.  And maybe a little bit…

 

“Are you seriously getting jealous over this?”  I asked with my best smirk.  “This happened before we ever even started dating.  Besides, I may not live in Korea anymore, but I do keep up with your life you know.  Don’t assume that I haven’t heard about you and Mr. Swimming-Trunks-Park.  I thought I helped you get over that ‘boys’ phase of your life.”

 

I could see her eyes dart to the side.  She always did that when she was nervous.

 

“So you heard about that, huh?”  She whispered quietly.  “It doesn’t really matter anyway.  We broke up a while ago.  The media just likes to run the same boring stories of our ‘torrid’ love affair, even if it no longer exists.”

 

“Broke up?  What was wrong?  Just couldn’t satisfy the Great Leader Min?”

 

“He just wasn’t you…”

 

Aw hell.  Now what was I supposed to say to that?  That was the second time in ten minutes that she had completely blown me away.  This girl seriously disarmed me in every possible way. 

 

“Um…”  I nervously ran my hand through my hair while I tried to think of a response.  “You really should just keep reading the letters.”

 

Sun Ye avoided my eyes and reached down for the next letter.  It seemed like she  hadn’t meant to say that statement at all.  She started opening the next letter and began reading again.

 

 =========

 

 Okay so maybe I had lied when I said I would immediately ask Ye Eun for information.  It had been a week since I realized my feelings toward Sun Ye were more than just friendly and I still had done nothing.  I blamed my lack of action on the ridiculous schedule JYP had given us for the creation of our next single, Nobody, but I knew that was a lie too.  The entire situation had me confused.  I knew I had to tread carefully here.  I didn’t want to mess up our entire group dynamic over my silly crush.  If I ever felt that Sun Ye wouldn’t return my feelings I was completely prepared to just give up without a fight and try to move on.  But if Sun Ye was interested… well I had given a lot up for JYPE already.  I wasn’t gonna pass on a chance at a real relationship for them too.

 

I mean everything seemed so ridiculous when I thought about it.  It is such a bad idea for us band members to date.  But it was _because_ we were band members that we would be such a good item as well.  We knew the pressures of the pop star life since we both lived it.  We had basically the same schedules.  If we didn’t we would hardly have any time to see each other.  One concept so at odds with itself. 

 

Geez, I just kept thinking about this and not doing anything.  I had to get some kind of resolution fast or I would just keep tripping over myself during practice ‘cause my eyes were glued to Sun Ye’s ass.  Okay where to begin…

 

Step one: ascertain if one Min Sun Ye was in fact currently unattached and would ever even consider dating a girl.  Even though we spent most of our waking hours together, Sun Ye had a tendency to keep what little private life she had to herself.  Curse her and her privacy!  Now I would have to resort to being sneaky to figure this out without drawing attention to myself.  Sneaky like a spy.  I already knew that the only person I could even bother asking was Ye Eun.  If anyone knew anything about what Sun Ye did in her almost non-existent free time then it was she. 

 

Yet even if I really wanted to do something right now I was kinda stuck.  I had a day off from university, but Sun Ye and Ye Eun were both in classes for the rest of the day.  All I had in the apartment was Sun Mi and So Hee, who seemed to be listening to music quite loudly in Sun Mi’s room.  They probably were going to be in there doing whatever the hell they were up to for the rest of the day.  So here I was with just my thoughts… all alone…

 

Suddenly the door to the apartment slammed open to reveal an overly peppy Ye Eun. 

 

“Hey Yubin!  My professor never showed up for class today.  I’m so excited for the break.  And workaholic Sun Ye isn’t here so we don’t have to do any practicing!  A whole evening worth of free time!  Of course you know what we have to do?”

 

I smiled up at Ye Eun from the couch.  “Go out and stuff ourselves silly at your favorite restaurant?”

 

“Am I really that predictable?  Now hurry and grab your purse.  Go get So Hee and Sun Mi too if they want to come.”

 

Now I might not have been entirely on top of the ball lately, but I wasn’t completely stupid.  Ye Eun wanted to go out?  Sun Ye caught up in class?  Troublesome duo preoccupied?  Yeah I could pretty much taste the opportunity on this one.  Better go with the flow now or I might lose my chance entirely. 

 

“Yeah, I think those two kids said they were going out to see a movie soon.  They wouldn’t have time to do dinner first anyway.  Better to leave them alone so we don’t have to watch Sun Mi struggle with her indecision between the two,” I adlibbed on the spot.

 

“Urgh, yeah.  This morning it took her thirty minutes just to decide if she wanted toast or eggs for breakfast.  I want food now and I’m not going to wait around for her.  Let’s go to the café on the corner!  Pronto!”

 

I grinned at the overly excited Ye Eun.  Nothing could get her worked up like the prospect of a good meal.  I grabbed my coat and purse out of the closet and headed out the door after her.

 

=========

 

Walking with Ye Eun to the café down the street hadn’t given me a lot of time to think up battle strategies for my fact-finding mission.  I still wasn’t entirely sure how I was going to tackle this.  Looked like it was going to be a play-it-by-ear sort of operation.  So now I just had to work the conversation to get the information I needed. 

 

I watched as Ye Eun took an aggressive bite out of her sandwich.  Geez, this girl could eat.  I hoped she would take enough of a time out from gorging herself on everything on the café menu to even have a semblance of a conversation with me. 

 

Looking around the café rather theatrically I started up some small talk.

 

“This place is actually really cute.  Very low key.  I mean, we can even come here and not get recognized that often.  It’s lucky we have a place like this to hang out.  It would actually be pretty sweet to bring someone here.  You know, like someone who wasn’t one of us… like a date or something.”

 

Ye Eun grunted through her mouthful of sandwich.  “Hah, yeah since we have so much time to run around dating people.  When you put your name on that contract with a record label you are basically signing your private life away.  ‘Sides you have a boy toy you want to bring here?”

 

“What?  Me?  No!”  I waved my hands around exaggeratedly.  “I’m not the sort to go dating random fans or something.  But you… you might have something you are hiding, eh Ye Eun?”

 

“Oh please.  I don’t have time for that right now.  I’ve got to crack down and do a bunch of work for my composition class right now.  I’m trying to write a new song with a piano accompaniment and JYP said that if he likes it he might put it on the Nobody single.”

 

I was so freakin’ slick.  This was just about the perfect opening for my first question I needed to ask.

 

“Well if I’m not getting any action and you are too busy, then I guess we will have to rest all of our hopes on Leader Min then, huh?”

 

“Sun Ye?  Yeah right.  If we left all our relationship hopes and dreams to Sun Ye then I think we would all die virgins.  That girl has about as much sex drive as a…” she paused to fumble for the right word.  “A snail or something.”

 

And boom goes the dynamite.

 

“Sun Ye isn’t dating anyone?  Well I guess JYP is just gonna make us all waste away.  I mean we hardly even get to meet guys anyway, besides the random joint stage we do with Big Bang or the boys from other JYPE groups.”

 

“I know right?!”  Ye Eun reached over and grabbed herself a heaping bowl filled with salad and proceeded to stuff her face some more.  “We hardly get any contact with guys at all.  I’m starting to worry that So Hee and Sun Mi will grow up to like girls or something since it’s all they ever see.”

 

Oh Ye Eun.  You are just making this too easy. 

 

“Although really if you think about it, we grew up in basically the same situation as they are right now.  What if we all ended up really gay and just don’t know it yet?”  I reached my hand out and put it on Ye Eun’s arm.  “It’s okay that you desire me, Ye Eun.  I mean I’m so damn sexy.  I understand that you can’t help your feelings.”

 

Ye Eun immediately started choking, partially from laughter and partially from salad.  Well mostly from the salad.

 

“Yeah, all the Wonder Girls are completely enthralled by your sex appeal, Yubin.”

 

I feigned a hurt expression and went for the final bit of info.  “Well if you aren’t going to fall for my sexy feminine wiles then I guess I’m going to have to go to Sun Ye.  She’s been in training for even longer than you, so according to our current theory she should be more receptive to girls.”

 

“Hah go to town then,” she scoffed at me.  “If you can get her mind off work and school long enough to seduce her that is.  She’s probably the only other girl who can put up with your silliness anyway.”

 

Done and done.  Okay, not the totally definitive answer I was looking for, but this was a good starting ground.  I had enough food for further thought at least.  I settled back into my chair with a small smirk on my face as I went back to my soup. 

 

=========

 

 _09/01/2008_

 _Sun Ye,_

 _If you’ve been looking at the dates on my letters you probably realized that it has been a week since I last wrote to you.  Yeah I know I’m lazy.  You always were the harder worker out of the two of us, but I guess I vaguely accomplished the goal I mentioned at the end of my last letter.  I went on a fact-finding mission with Ye Eun to find out if you would ever consider dating me.  Or any girl at that._

 _Okay, so it wasn’t terribly detailed and I know I shouldn’t be resting a lot of hopes on it, but you would be proud of how vague I was during the whole conversation.  I didn’t just come out and ask her about it.  I smoothly lead the discussion to whether or not you like girls.  I’m just that good.  I’m not going to copy the whole conversation down word for word or anything, but be satisfied that the whole investigation was conducted in a way that Ye Eun didn’t even realize she was being quizzed for information._

 _At least I think she didn’t notice.  That girl can be eerily perceptive sometimes… Heh, well it’s too late now.  She said that you weren’t dating anyone right now since you didn’t have the time outside of work.  Which is a point in the column for me asking you out since we work together and you wouldn’t have to really make time to see me.  I’m always there for you, you know?  Ye Eun also led me to believe that you didn’t have anything against dating girls, it was more just about your work getting in the way.  This I can work with.   If you had been secretly a gay hater I don’t know what I would have done._

 _Now that I think about it, it’s such a ridiculous thought, that you would ever hate anyone at all.  You are a total sweetheart who just wants everyone to get along perfectly.  I don’t think you were built to dislike anyone or anything.  It’s one of the qualities that drew me to you.  I have an aggressive personality when it comes down to it and if someone pisses me off I’ll let him or her know.  You wouldn’t do anything like that.  Man I guess opposites really do attract._

 _Well now that I know you are neither dating someone nor opposed to girls as a principle I feel somehow much better about my general crush.  It’s not like it’s completely doomed to failure from the start.  Since step one is complete I guess I’ll have to move on to step two.  I only have a vague notion of what this should be.  I think I should bring you out.  Not on a date or anything.  Just a… fun day between friends.  I think I just need to feel the waters and see if you are receptive to anything more between us before I make that final leap into confessing my feelings to your face._

 _This one is gonna be even trickier than my Ye Eun mission.  I’ve been acting like a complete fool around you lately.  I don’t know how many more times I can fall on my face due to my klutziness around you before people start questioning the large amounts of bruises on me.  I’ve gotta get it under control, at least for one day._

 _I’ll win you over yet, Sun Ye.  Just you wait.  Kim Yubin always gets what she wants._

 _-Yubin_

 

 


	4. Chapter 4:  No really it’s a date, she just doesn’t know it yet

Sun Ye shook her head lightly as she put down the second letter.  At least this time she didn’t look pissed off, just slightly amused.

 

“Honestly Yubin, you make it sound like this was all an elaborate battle plan that you had drawn up.”

 

“Hey, all’s fair in love and war, you know?  Sometimes they just… overlap a little.  Besides, I had to make you fall for me somehow.”

 

Sun Ye smiled.  “Yeah, I’d like to think you didn’t have to try quite this hard to manage that.”

 

I grinned goofily back at her.  I was glad that we could still have pleasant conversations about our past that didn’t end in some sort of argument.  It was nice that she still looked back on our memories as fondly as I did. 

 

“Although now some things make a lot more sense,” Sun Ye’s voice broke me out of my thoughts.  “It certainly does help explain why Ye Eun was never surprised about our relationship, despite how sneaky you were trying to be while ‘investigating.’”

 

Crap.  She was totally right.  I should have realized that sooner than this.  Ye Eun always was a little bit more observant than she seemed.  “Okay, so you might be right about that.  But it’s not like she wouldn’t have found out anyway.  You guys are super tight; you wouldn’t have just hidden it from her forever.  Anyway, she was happy for you.  For us.  It didn’t hurt anything in the end.”

 

“I know.  I just like giving you a hard time,” Sun Ye replied with a certain twinkle in her eye.

 

I leaned onto my hand and let out an exaggerated sigh.  “Yeah, I noticed.  You also seem to like not reading my letters.  We are going to be old ladies by the time you finish at this rate.”

 

“Fine, fine.  I can’t wait to read about the second part of your elaborate scheme,” she rolled her eyes as she reached down for the third letter.  I watched as she opened the yellowed envelope and started to read again.

 

=========

 

 

Talking with Ye Eun seemed to have rejuvenated my courage.  I knew logically that I had no reason to think I had a real shot at Sun Ye after such a vague discussion, especially since Ye Eun didn’t even know my real goal.  It still bolstered my hopes though.  I had no intention of putting off the next stage in my plan.  Indeed…

 

Step two:  perform a cursory investigation with this Min Sun Ye to find out if she could possibly be interested in me in a more than friendly way.  I had been giving a lot of thought as to how I was going to go about this for the past few days.  I had basically decided on a simple date of sorts.  Of course she wouldn’t know it was really a date.  Hopefully if I played everything up correctly she might be able to guess that much from the end of the outing though.  I wasn’t going to do anything drastic, like confess all my mushy feelings or anything.  This was only step two after all. 

 

I had a basic layout for what I was going to do at this point.  I just needed to wait for a chance to get Sun Ye alone.  This was easier said than done and I had been waiting for several days already.  It really seemed like fate wasn’t going to give me a lucky break like it had with Ye Eun. 

 

I checked the fridge where we all posted our weekly schedules to keep organized.  Sun Ye had class until 9 tonight.  Guess today wasn’t going to be my day either.  She’d had a super busy school schedule for the past two weeks and that combined with all her Wonder Girl’s practices had resulted in her getting severely overworked.  Plus she was such a perfectionist that I just knew she was sneaking out to the dance studio to get a few extra hours of practice in when the rest of us were busy. 

 

“Dammit Sun Ye, you are going to burn yourself out,” I whispered to myself.

 

Or maybe not.  I mean, some extremely thoughtful group member could rescue her from her night classes and give her a break.  She could probably use a nice dinner and night on the town.  More than she needed that History of Music class she was going to be stuck in for the next four hours. 

 

I changed into a loose fitting pair of jeans and tank top with a button down covering it up.  It was nice enough to go out in but flexible enough to move around in while wearing.  Perfect for what I had in mind.  I ran by the closet, picked out my jacket and flew out the door.

 

==========

 

 

From my glance at Sun Ye’s schedule I knew that she had a dinner break before her night class.  I figured if I waited by the front gate to her university I would be able to catch her before she went to grab some food.  Even though I had put on a pair of sunglasses in an attempt to cover my face I was pretty sure that people could recognize me.  I was attracting some pretty interested looks at this point and I probably wasn’t helping matters much by leaning against the front wall like a total delinquent. 

 

I checked the time on my cell phone impatiently.  Urgh I was so ready to do this now.  It figured that Sun Ye was on time for everything except her own breaks.  I leaned into the gateway to her school and looked around to see if I could catch a glimpse of her.  I really didn’t want to have to go in there and find her.  Sun Ye always told stories about how everyone in her classes would try and talk to her constantly and beg her for pictures.  I was sure they would have a field day if they knew I was here too.  I got enough of that at my own school.

 

Sure enough I was right about Sun Ye’s fangirls.  I could hear her approaching the gate before I could see her.  Little exclamations of “I love you Sun Ye” and “Wonder Girls fighting!” started to filter through the entranceway where I was standing.  I grinned to myself as I saw Sun Ye trying to fight her way through the crowd so she could get to wherever she was planning to eat.  She looked completely exasperated at this point.  She was probably going to be really relieved to see my friendly face.

 

After signing a few autographs Sun Ye turned and caught a glimpse of me leaning against the wall.  I could see the relief flow across her pretty face.  I knew it.  Time for me to save the girl.  I pushed myself off of the wall and made my way through the crowd to Sun Ye.  By the time I made it to her most of the crowd had changed their declarations of love for Sun Ye to murmurs of shock when they recognized that it was me.  I took advantage of their momentary surprise to grab Sun Ye’s hand and drag her out of the group. 

 

“Sorry guys, but Leader Min here has a pressing Wonder Girl’s engagement right now so we have to run.  I’m sure she would love to do more autographs next time!”

 

I shot a glance over to Sun Ye who looked like she was about to have a panic attack thinking she had actually forgotten some of her Wonder Girl’s work.  This girl definitely needed a break.  I squeezed her hand to signal that there was no such work planned and that she should just play along.  Somehow she managed to figure that out from the simple action and I could see her visibly relax.  She turned and waved to all her adoring fans with her free hand.

 

“I really do need to get going.  Thanks everyone for your support!”

 

She barely had time to finish the sentence before I yanked on her arm and started jogging down the street with her.  We kept running until I saw a small alley on the right and I darted down that with her.  I roughly pushed her up against the wall and shielded her with my body.  I pressed her as close to the wall as I could manage, which resulted in me being flush up against her body.  Her close proximity was driving all my senses wild.  I could smell the light scent of her shampoo as her hair tickled my nose.  God this was making it difficult to focus.  I pulled my head back from her hair enough to see that she had a light blush covering her cheeks. 

 

“Yubin… What exactly are you…?”

 

I motioned for her to be quiet.  The second I put my hand down a bunch of students from her school ran past the entrance to the alleyway.  I knew it.  Some of her fans were brave enough to try and follow us.  They didn’t seem to see us hiding in the alley thanks to my quick actions.  As soon as I was convinced that they were out of earshot I took a step back from Sun Ye and let her off the wall.

 

“I just didn’t want any tag-a-longs for our night out.  You need a break without any thoughts about school or work.”

 

She was looking at me like I was crazy at this point.  This night of fun was going to be a tough sell, but I knew once she got started it would be easy for her to have a good time. 

 

"We are covering the history of…”

 

“…Something you already learned in your JYPE classes,” I interrupted her.  “It won’t hurt you if you miss one class.  We are going to have fun tonight even if it kills you.”

 

I gave her a once over to check what she was wearing.  She sported a pair of pinstriped slacks and a print T-shirt with a sweater.  It was a perfect compliment to what I was wearing and would work well for what I had planned.  I let my eyes linger over her form a little more than I would normally.  I usually checked her out in a less obvious manner, but tonight it was okay.  She needed to know that I was looking. 

 

“Alright you seem to be dressed up enough.  Let’s go or we won’t make my reservations in time.”

 

I started walking out the other end of the alley towards the restaurant and dragged Sun Ye along behind me.

 

==========

 

 

The restaurant I picked out was a fancy one; one that we were both just barely dressed up enough to get inside.  It had a sleek, fashionable interior filled with dark burgundy walls and dim lighting that made it very private.  Just walking around the restaurant you could hardly see any of the diners eating there.  It was perfect for having a relaxing low-key dinner since we ran a much lower risk of being recognized.

 

Our waiter showed us to a tiny booth in the far right corner that was so small it forced the diners sitting in it to practically be touching as they ate.  I had, of course, specifically asked for this table since it was the place for a romantic candlelit dinner.  Sun Ye seemed oblivious to its outward romantic charms and just looked relieved about having a peaceful dinner for once.  She slid into the booth and I scooted in after her smiling to myself as I found my leg lightly pressed up against hers in the small space.  The waiter took our drink orders and then made himself scarce, as we looked over the menu.  Good boy. 

 

I glanced over at Sun Ye just in time to see her eyes grow huge as she looked at the menu.  “Yubin this place is REALLY expensive.  I could buy a whole new wardrobe for the price of this steak alone.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” I chuckled.  “I’m paying tonight and price is no object.  What is the point in getting a pop star’s paycheck if you don’t even spend it?  Besides tonight is all about you relaxing and having a good time.  You deserve it.”

 

She looked at me suspiciously.  “Relaxing and having a good time until 5 o’clock right?  Because that is when my class starts.”

 

“Uh yeah sure.  Whatever you wanna tell yourself.”

 

She sighed and I could tell that she had given up for now.  Sun Ye picked up her menu and looked over all the different choices.  Alright, now was the perfect chance for me to begin step two of my investigation.  I leaned into Sun Ye and gently rested my head on her shoulder.  I let my breath wash over the side of her neck as I pretended to look over the menu with her.  I could feel her muscles tense slightly and caught sight of the blush spreading across her cheeks.  My proximity was definitely affecting her. 

 

“You have your own menu,” she practically whispered to me.

 

“Hmmm… I know.  But yours was already open.”

 

She didn’t seem to have anything to say in response to that and just let me continue to rest on her shoulder.  I knew there was a greater purpose to me doing this initially, but I couldn’t think of what that was anymore.  All that existed right now was me and Sun Ye, whom I could feel breathing next to me.  It seemed absolutely perfect, curled up in that small restaurant booth with her, no eyes watching, just the two of us.

 

“Your orders tonight?”

 

The waiter’s question brought me crashing back to reality.  I immediately scooted back from Sun Ye slightly in an attempt to appear more natural.  This dude had the worst timing.  Not to mention the fact that I had been so wrapped up in Sun Ye that I hadn’t given the menu a single glance.  Crap.

 

“I’ll take the roast duck with the lentil soup,” she ordered gracefully.  “What are you having tonight, Yubin?”

 

Sun Ye was giving me an absolutely wicked smile at this point.  She probably realized that I hadn’t even paid attention to the menu.  Good I guess.  I wanted her to pick up a little on where my interests really were.  I was still kinda in a bad spot though.

 

“I’ll take the chef’s choice tonight,” I said off the top of my head.

 

The waiter gave us a bow and then went into the kitchen with our orders.

 

“You have no clue what the chef’s choice is do you?”

 

“I prefer to live a life of surprise,” I answered with a grin.

 

She smiled back at me and let out her melodic laugh.  I leaned back in the booth and mentally prepared for a night of staring at her beautiful face and listening to her musical voice. 

 

==========

 

 

Dinner was excellent.  Or at least Sun Ye’s was.  Chef’s choice for the night had turned out to be a whole cooked pig’s head.  I don’t know why the hell they would serve that in a classy restaurant like this other than as a trap to innocent girls who were too preoccupied with their company to properly read the menu.  At least Sun Ye got a good laugh and then let me share her roast duck. 

 

Our conversation was fun and meaningless; what we were learning in our classes, our upcoming joint stage with 2PM, thoughts on the new Nobody song.  It was all things we didn’t really need to discuss, but it was nice listening to each other.  Besides it wasn’t the conversation that was important.

 

It was our actions.  I had slowly worked myself closer and closer on the bench until I was practically touching Sun Ye’s side again.  It gave me plenty of opportunities to touch Sun Ye while playing it off as an accident.  I would touch her hand as we reached for our water glasses at the same time.  She would blush.  I would lean into her side as I reached for some of her meal we were sharing.  She would blush.  I even worked a nice leg touch in there when I ‘dropped’ my napkin under the table.  That one made her face turn the brightest red yet and she even stammered in the middle of her story about Calculus class.  It was adorable.  And very encouraging. 

 

As soon as dinner was over I paid the tab and dragged Sun Ye out onto the street.  As soon as we were outside again she tensed immediately and searched her bag for her cell phone. 

 

“Argh Yubin!” she yelled at me as she checked the time.  “It’s past 6 o’clock now!  I’m going to be so late for my class now!”

 

“Yeah really late,” I nodded at her.  “So late in fact that you shouldn’t even bother going to class at this point.  Which works out perfectly cause I have something else planned for us.”

 

She glared in my direction and I thought she was going to yell at me.  Then she simply closed her eyes and looked like she was just trying to think of the best way to phrase her argument.  When she finally opened her eyes again she gave me a weak smile.

 

“Alright.  So where to next, ‘leader?’”

 

Funny and gorgeous.  What a girl!  I grinned devilishly at her.  There was no way I was going to ruin the surprise of our next destination by telling her what we were doing.  I walked to the side of the street and hailed down a cab and gave the driver directions.  This was going to be so much fun.

 

==========

 

 

I handed a wad of cash to the cab driver and gave him instructions to stay parked where he was for two hours.  That would give us plenty of time.  I opened to the door to the cab and climbed out expecting Sun Ye to follow me.  After a few seconds I realized that she had in fact remained inside the vehicle with an absolutely shocked expression plastered on her face.

 

“Um this is the part where you get out of the cab, Sun Ye.”

 

She continued to look at me like I was the crazy person in this situation.  “Uh no Yubin.  I don’t know if you noticed where you just took us.  It’s the bad, shady part of Seoul.  Like the wake up with a knife in your side section of town.  What the hell are we doing here?!”

 

“You worry too much,” I tried to reason with her.  “It’s not that bad here.  The newspapers just blow it out of proportion.  Come on.  Don’t you trust me?”

 

That seemed to trigger something in her and she slowly exited the cab.  She obviously didn't want to be here.  It was pointless for her to even worry.  As if I would ever let anything bad happen to my princess.  I closed the cab door behind her and grabbed Sun Ye's hand.

 

“This way,” I said as I started dragging her to an abandoned warehouse visible in the distance.  Sun Ye was too stunned to even react to where I was dragging her and just mutely followed me. 

 

After a few minutes of walking through street garbage we finally arrived outside the warehouse I was looking for.  Our sudden stop seemed to have gotten through to Sun Ye and she was ready to try and convince me I was crazy again.

 

“See the dinner out was really awesome, but you have kind of lost me on the fun and good times at this point.  Unless you think getting murdered in all this filth is a good time.  Which honestly wouldn’t surprise me at this point…”

 

“Oh come on Sun Ye,” I grinned at her.  “Have a little more faith in me.  I think you are really going to enjoy this.  It’s one of the best kept secrets in Seoul.”

 

I walked up to the door on the warehouse and rapped quickly on it three times.  There was a wait of a few seconds and then the door slowly slid open and revealed a skinny boy in hip-hop street clothes.

 

“Yubin!  You haven’t stopped by here in forever!  We thought you forgot all about us.”

 

Sun Ye’s jaw dropped in visible shock that I would actually know people in this part of town.  I ignored her ridiculous face and stepped into the warehouse with the boy.  With a little bit of encouragement I got Sun Ye to follow me inside. 

 

The interior of the warehouse was obviously nothing like she expected.  It was fairly clean compared to the trash that littered the ground right outside of it.  The walls were covered with graffiti tags of all shapes, sizes, and colors which gave it an exciting urban appearance.  Yet what attracted Sun Ye’s attention most was the large wooden dance floor right in the middle of the building.  It was surrounded on all sides by huge speakers that were playing loud hip-hop music while a group of b-boys were dancing off against each other. 

 

My friend was obviously getting as much enjoyment out of Sun Ye’s shock as I was since he was giggling quietly to himself. 

 

Ahhh I was completely forgetting my manners.  “Sorry for the late introduction.  Sun Ye this is my friend Hori.  We used to dance together growing up.  Now he is one of the best b-boys in the Seoul area.  Hori this is…”

 

“Sun Ye,” he said as he reached out for a casual handshake.  “I haven’t been living under a rock, Yubin.  I do know who the leader of the Wonder Girls is.  I have to admit she is much prettier in person than on television though.”  I could see Sun Ye blush at the compliment. 

 

I shot Hori a death glare that immediately shut him up.  “Whoa.  Down boy.  Not on my watch you don’t.  I brought her here to check out the dancing, not the boys.”

 

With that I pushed Sun Ye closer to the dance floor and away from Hori’s now wandering eyes.  Damn, I probably should have thought this through a little better.  Now I would just have to make sure she focused on the dancing and not all of the cute, muscular guys I had just brought her to in the b-boy circle.  I kept leading her towards the middle of the warehouse until we were right next to the side of the wooden floor section where we had a great view of the dancers.

 

“All of the best dancers in the area come here at night to dance,” I yelled in her ear over the loud music.  “Not many people know about this place since they like to keep it a secret.  When I was undergoing hip-hop dance training at Good Entertainment Hori told me that this place had started up and I knew I had to come here and learn some moves for my repertoire.  They are all really nice too, so you don’t have to worry about getting stabbed with a knife or however you phrased it.”

 

Sun Ye probably hadn’t even heard what I said.  I could tell that all of her attention was on the dancers who were back flipping and breakdancing their way across the floor in the most intricate patterns possible.  She had seen some urban dancing from her training with 2PM, but this was on a completely different level.  I loved those boys, but I knew that if they ever tried to come here and compete against these street kids they would get utterly served.  I didn’t think any of this was on Sun Ye’s mind though and she seemed completely mesmerized by what the dancers were doing. 

 

I knew bringing her here was a good choice.

 

Once the dancers had worn themselves out completely they slapped each other on the back and headed off to the sidelines for a break.  The beat from the speakers kept going and some of the people who had been watching before made their way onto the dance floor.  None of them had any sort of organization; they just wanted to have fun messing around on the floor to the rhythm of the music.  It was a Big Bang song, one that I knew Sun Ye loved and listened to all the time on her ipod. 

 

I nudged her toward the dance floor.  “Why don’t you get out there too?  Show them what the great Min Sun Ye has got?”

 

This just earned me an absolutely petrified look from her. 

 

“Are you crazy?  I can’t dance like that!  They were doing back flips for crying out loud!”

 

Even her panic attacks were adorable.

 

“Not all hip-hop dancing is breakdancing.  A lot of it is top-rock urban dancing, which I’ve seen you do plenty of in the Wonder Girls.  You’ll do just fine out there without doing back flips.”

 

She still looked far too nervous to even remember any of her previous dance training.  I smiled encouragingly at her and made my way on the dance floor.  I bounced in a light dance step over to one of the few other female dancers and stopped in front of her.  I could see her eyes light up as she waited for my challenge. 

 

I didn’t really have anything planned.  It wasn’t like my dance was going to be perfect.  I hadn’t done any breakdancing in a while so I mostly stuck to some simple pop and locks as I moved to the beat of the song.  When I was done with my round of dancing she picked up where I left off and did a bit more of a showy routine and did some fancy glides around me.  I laughed at her and proceeded to drop to the ground and chain some of the breakdancing steps I could remember together into a rather decent combination.  I finished it off with a chair freeze upside down and then hopped back onto my feet.  The street dancer had done better in our little dance off than I had, but I had put up a pretty decent fight considering how out of practice I was.  She gave me a high five and slapped my back before moving off across the dance floor once again.  Hopefully Sun Ye had enjoyed watching that enough to get out on the dance floor and try a little herself.  I glided back to the sidelines to find her.

 

When I saw her my heart almost stopped in my chest.  She was staring at me with admiration completely filling her eyes as if I had been the best dancer out there on the floor.  It was all too much for me to process apparently and my feet stuttered in their glide, which sent me falling right onto my face. 

 

Urgh of all times to fall on my face in front of Sun Ye. 

 

She rushed over to my side and helped me get to my feet again.  How embarrassing.  Luckily she didn’t seem to bothered by my crappy reappearance. 

 

“Yubin that was fantastic!  _You_ were fantastic!  I never knew you could dance like that!  You should tell JYP so he can work more dance routines like that into our live performances!”

 

“Heh, I would rather just keep this our little secret for now,” I said as I nervously swept my hand through my hair.  “I enjoy dancing like this for fun on the side.  I don’t really want to have this drilled into me by JYPE too.  If I just have this as my hobby it always stays fresh and exciting for me.  I’m glad you enjoyed my horribly embarrassing performance though.  Maybe it encouraged you to give it a shot now?”

 

I raised my eyebrows in a hopeful puppy dog look at her.  It seemed to do its trick and she caved ever so slightly. 

 

“Um I still don’t know how I feel about dancing out there with all those people… but maybe you can teach me one of those breakdancing moves on the sidelines?  It looks like a lot of fun.”

 

I’m sure I was absolutely beaming at that point.  “Then I shall be your teacher for tonight, Sun Ye.  Now let’s get out of the way so I can teach you the six step.”

 

Sun Ye followed me so we were even more out of the way from the crowds of b-boys.  I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable like people were watching her.  Once we were properly out of the way I bent down on the ground so I was crawling on all fours.  I motioned for Sun Ye to join me.  She crouched on the floor next to me with a curious glance.  She was absolutely adorable when she made that face. 

 

“Okay so I am going to teach you the six step.  It is your most basic step in breakdancing floor routines.  Everything else is just a variation or motion based off of it.  It’s a little tricky at first and requires a bit of upper body strength to keep yourself lifted above the floor, but I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it pretty quickly.  All you need to do is move your legs in a six part circular movement around yourself.”

 

I slowly moved my legs into the six different positions so she could see a breakdown of the steps.  After I went through the movements once I did it again at full speed so she could see it all come together.  Sun Ye had been in dance training for most of her life.  I knew that was all she needed to see to get a basic grip on the move. 

 

I edged off to the side a little so she had room to move in her own six step circle.  She had her eyebrows knit together in her cutest concentrated expression.  I was so focused on her face that I completely missed her first run through of the six step.  Urgh I was such a failure sometimes.

 

“Um try that one more time,” I reasoned to her.  “I need to double check what you did.”

 

She arched her eyebrow at me, but preceded to do the six step slowly once again.  I knew Sun Ye would be a quick study.  She basically knew the move already; she just had one foot position wrong.  I moved to her side so I could better direct her.

 

“You basically have the move down.  The only part that needs some work is your foot position on step 2.  You need to use your opposite foot to cross underneath your body, that way you get a more natural turn to your body.”

 

I leaned over her back and coaxed her right foot out to her left side.  I let my fingers trail over her leg ever so slightly as I nudged it into the perfect position for the six step.  Her breathing seemed to be just a little bit faster than it was a few seconds ago.  Was I having as much of an effect on her as she was on me? 

 

No, it had to be the dancing.  We had been practicing a rather strenuous move right?  That had to be it.  I edged backwards to give her room to try the move again.  This time she got it down flawlessly.  Sun Ye always was Miss Perfect.  It took me a week before I got the six step down when I learned it. 

 

“Perfect!”  I complimented her.  “Now just speed it up to the beat of the song and you’ve got it.”

 

Sun Ye went through a few more practice runs of the six step until she was doing it in perfect rhythm with the music blaring out of the speakers.  After about 10 minutes of this she seemed to be getting pretty tired.  It was a little trying on the arms to hold yourself above the floor, kinda like doing a long set of pushups. 

 

“Okay perfectionist you can stop now.  I brought you here to have fun, not have a Wonder Girl’s dance practice.  Let’s go back and watch a few more songs worth of dancing before we head home for the night.”

 

I offered her my hand as I helped her up to her feet. 

 

“That was a lot of fun,” she exclaimed.  “I can see why 2PM enjoys their assigned  dances so much now.  I think I could really get into that if given the time.”

 

I chuckled as I lead her back over to the dance floor and laughed lightly when I heard what was blaring on the speakers now.  They were playing a remixed version of our “Good Bye” song and I had the overwhelming urge to just drag Sun Ye out on the floor to dance to it.  This was totally Hori’s doing, I was sure of it.  He was trying to bait us into dancing for them.  I stole a look to Sun Ye to see her reaction to this song.  She just glared back at me in a clear sign that she wasn’t going to bite on this bait.  Nothing was going to get her out on that floor, not even one of our own songs.

 

Okay so no more dancing for tonight then.  As soon as the song finished playing some of the dancers cheered in our general direction.  We both smiled at the b-boys and waved before we turned to make our exit out of the warehouse and back to the waiting taxi.

 

 ==========

 

 

The taxi dropped us off in front of the JYPE owned apartment at around 9:30 at night.  It was about the same time Sun Ye would have gotten out of class.  I was so slick sometimes; it would be like she had never even played hooky to go out with me.  She could let people know if she wanted to, otherwise no one would ever figure it out.  I was turning to go up the stairs to the apartment when I felt her hand on my arm.

 

“Um… thanks for today, Yubin,” she said quietly.  “I really needed to just go out and have fun like that.  And the places you took me were both amazing in their own different, special ways.  Thanks for letting me see some of your secret world like that.”

 

She looked really nervous about something.  I tried to smile comfortingly at her.

 

“And I was wondering if today was maybe…kinda like…”  she stopped her sentence partway through.  I patiently waited for her to continue.

 

“Um nevermind.  I had fun though.”

 

“Are you sure?” I asked her with a questioning glance. 

 

“Yeah… It’s fine.  Um… I’m going to sit out here for a bit, you go on ahead.”

 

I just nodded at her and did as she told me.  I wasn’t going to push my luck anymore than I already had today. 

 

 

 =========

 

 

 _09/05/08_

 _Sun Ye,_

 _I had so much fun taking you out tonight.  I know it wasn’t a date in so many words.  I mean I never verbally told you it was a date, so I guess that means that it wasn’t.  But I think I might just think of it as our first uh… half-date.  Since only half of us knew about it._

Although I can’t help but think that by the end you had figured it all out on your own.  Sometimes you can be clueless, but not when it really counts.  You are far too intelligent for that.  I think you might have realized what was going down as soon as we first sat down in that tiny restaurant booth and I put my head on your shoulder.  I wish you could have seen your blush then, it was so beautiful.  I’d like to think that from that point onward you might have known what I was up to, trying to win you over with fleeting touches and whispered words. 

 _Yet you have been in JYPE for a long time… I honestly doubt that you have ever had a boyfriend or even had time to consider dating.  Maybe you don’t know what my actions were meant to be?  Perhaps you thought I was just being an overly affectionate and concerned group member._

 _Argh dammit now I am second-guessing myself.  I absolutely can’t do that.  I have to go with my gut instincts here.  I enjoyed going out with you tonight and you did too.  I know it.  I can give you that and so much more Sun Ye.  We could do stuff like that all the time.  I might not drag you out of class next time, since I think you would probably hit me if I ever tried that again, but it would all work out.  I promised that I wouldn’t officially burden you with my feelings if I thought that you would reject me out of hand.  But after tonight… I don’t think you will reject me.  I might have to work for it, but you’ll definitely become my girlfriend.  It’s just a matter of time._

 _So now that Step 2 of my process is over I need to move on to part 3:  confessing my feelings to you.  Ahh my heart is racing just thinking of it.  I’m not sure what I am going to do just yet.  I don’t see myself just walking up to you and saying it.  I’m too much of a romantic at heart to do something like that.  So I’m thinking I might leave you a note.  Like a love letter.  I mean I am always writing to you like this.  I’ve gotten lots of practice in for this.  Maybe something like…_

 _Sun Ye,_

 _You are probably opening this letter and writing it off as a stereotypical love confession from a cute boy you work with.  Well I guess it isn’t quite the conventional love letter you are expecting since it is instead from one of the cute girls you work with.  Have you gotten any letters like this from girls I wonder?_

 _I like you a lot Sun Ye.  And even if you don’t realize it yourself yet, I think you like me too.  When I took you out to dinner and dancing I watched your every movement, your every reaction to my touches.  I’m not blind; you enjoyed that night every bit as much as I did.  I didn’t have any ulterior motives that night, Sun Ye.  I just wanted to see what we could be like together, just the two of us, as something more than Wonder Girl’s members.  We could be perfect together, a nice ying and yang as it were._

 _At this point you probably are confused and want to scold me like you always do.  All I ask is that you think about it.  About the possibility of an ‘us.’  No pressure or time limits.  Just think it over.  You know where to find me._

 _Always thinking of you,_

 _-Yubin_

 _Hey that wasn’t half bad.  It’s kinda sappy, but perfect for what I genuinely feel about you.  I’ll do a few minor revisions to that and plan out a time to give it to you.  I’m not in a rush anymore.  Whatever happens will come about eventually now; it’s just a matter of time.  I really have started looking at you and me together as an inevitable event haven’t I?_

 _I’m okay with that future.  Are you?_

 _-Yubin_

 

 


	5. Chapter 5:  She loves me… She loves me not.

 

I knew Sun Ye was on the letter about our half date because of the big goofy smile that had spread across her face.  She always would talk about what great and sweet ideas I had for dates.  I think she just liked to brag to Ye Eun, since she never had a man who did the same for her. 

 

“So this half-date you took me on was just another step in your master plan, huh?”  She chuckled lightly to herself.  “I never fully realized at the time what that evening was, you know.  I mean, I knew it was something special, at least I hoped it was.  I didn’t ever think of it as a date until after we were officially together.”

 

“You weren’t supposed to know it was a date.  Like I said, I didn’t want to frighten you away.”

 

“Like you ever could,” she softly said.  “Every date with you was absolutely magical in it’s own way.  Bringing me to dinner was a nice start, but that street dancing… It was like you were letting me in just a little bit, that you trusted me with one of your closest secrets.  And even that sweet gesture paled in comparison to your idea for our first mutual night out…”

 

“Whoa now, reminisce about that date when you get to the letter for it.  It’s definitely in there somewhere.”

 

“You are so pushy!  Where is the sensitive girl who took me dancing and wrote me this lovely confessional,” she jabbed pointedly at my letter.

 

I rolled my eyes at her.  She was drawing this process out on purpose.  But it’s not like I really minded.  Deep down.

 

“It was a pretty good letter.  Sometimes I can be so freakin’ romantic.”  I leaned back in my chair and sprawled out in an attempt to be the antithesis of my statement.  Sun Ye didn’t seem to notice.

 

“You really could,” she said as she fingered my letter nervously.  “I still have it you know.  That letter.”

 

That surprised me a little and it must have shown on my face.

 

“Oh geez Yubin.  What did you think I did to it?  Burn it?”

 

“Okay,” I reasoned.  “You can’t blame me after the reaction you had to getting it in the first place.  I figured you tore it up or something so no one could ever see it.  Or maybe threw it out after we broke up.”

 

Sun Ye smiled sadly at me.  “Such faith you have in me.”

 

“No I just think we are remembering things a little differently.  Maybe reading my next letter will jog your memory.”

 

She picked up another letter from the stack with a sigh, obviously giving up our argument for now.

 

==========

 

 

I still hadn’t gotten a chance to give Sun Ye my confession.  The letter was all written out on beautiful, light blue stationary and hidden in my desk, but the perfect opportunity hadn’t presented itself yet.  Granted, at this point I wasn’t too worried.  From the way Sun Ye had acted on our half-date over a week ago I was fairly confident she felt the same for me as I did for her.  Ever since our night out I could tell that she was watching me a little more closely.  It was imperceptible to the other Wonder Girls, but I could tell that her eyes would land on me more often during dance practice or when we were in JYPE meetings. 

 

It was a pleasant feeling knowing that I was the one being watched for once.  Yet at the same time it was seriously throwing me off.  I was so used to her not even noticing me when I was blatantly staring at her that I had to curtail my glances quite a bit.  Our eyes would meet as we both checked each other out at the same time and it always felt really awkward.  Really from her actions I probably didn’t have much reason to procrastinate.  I swear I was never this bad normally, I only seemed to put things off when it came to Sun Ye.

 

My major worry about the letter was that someone else might find and read it.  That ruled out giving the letter to her at home in the apartment.  All of us were so comfortable with each other that we regularly borrowed things from each others rooms and leaving a letter where it could be discovered like that seemed to leave too much to chance.  I soooo didn’t want Ye Eun, or worse, Sun Mi and So Hee, reading that little confession of mine. 

 

So if I couldn’t give the letter to her at home I would have to do it away from the whole JYP Entertainment complex.  We had been training almost constantly for our ‘Nobody’ debut so we weren’t venturing outside the facility for much of anything, even classes.  I needed a place that was a little more secure, a professional environment that meant the other Girls wouldn’t have a chance to snoop around in Sun Ye’s stuff.  Fortune had been kind to me so far, so I guessed that I would just have to wait for another opportunity to just drop in my lap.

 

“Yubin, take a chill pill and come sit on the couch,” Ye Eun yelled at me from the living room.  “All of your pacing around is freaking me out.  You are acting like a caged hyena.  I swear you have been even more on edge than Sun Ye lately.”

 

I had to grin at that.  It’s true that Sun Ye was usually the one pacing around anxiously for our next assignment.  I guess my nervousness over step three of my plan was getting to be pretty visible.  It was probably time for me to calm down and wait for something to present itself.  I walked over to the couch and collapsed onto it next to Ye Eun.  She moved over closer to So Hee and Sun Mi to give me enough room. 

 

“What’s up with you recently anyway?” Ye Eun asked me curiously.  “You haven’t been your usual confident self lately.  It’s like you’ve been walking around in a day-dreamy state for the past month or so.”

 

Sun Mi gave me an almost piercing look.  That girl could be a total space case most of the time, but sometimes she was almost eerily intense.  “Yubin must be in love.”

 

“Huh?  What?!  No!”

 

Urgh.  My stammering was so not convincing.  Crap.  Luckily Sun Mi had already turned back to the television and didn’t seem to have even noticed.  Such a weird kid.  Ye Eun obviously had though since she was arching her eyebrow at me in a totally sly fashion.  Great.  Thanks a lot Sun Mi, now I was going to have to deal with the Spanish Inquisition from Ye Eun later tonight. 

 

Luckily I was saved from any questions at the moment by Sun Ye walking in through the door.  She was smiling happily so I knew she must have some sort of good news. 

 

“Guess what guys?  I was just talking to JYP and he is organizing a special promotional event with us and 2PM for their new single.  It is kind of short notice, but we will be shooting a video for it tomorrow.  They’ve been training really hard and I’m really excited to see how much they have improved!”

 

So Hee nodded apathetically at the news and turned back to the television with Sun Mi.  At least Ye Eun seemed excited cause she was already jabbering on excitedly with Sun Ye about getting to see 2PM again.  A joint event with the JYP pretty boys at the recording stage, huh?  My lucky streak was obviously continuing.  I must have been grinning over my realization because Sun Ye and Ye Eun thought that I was excited over the reunion as well.  I really needed to get better control over my emotions; I was just getting too easy to read.

 

“Well I’m glad Ye Eun and Yubin are as excited as I am,” Sun Ye sarcastically remarked as she glared at the younger girls.  So Hee just waved her hand indifferently in response.

 

“So what are we going to be doing with 2PM?”  I asked.  “Is it going to be a joint dance performance or an interview or what?  I mean they already had us do that filming for their teaser commercial, but we didn’t even share the set with them on that.”

 

“To be honest I’m not entirely sure,” Sun Ye sheepishly answered.  “JYP wasn’t exactly full disclosure with all of the details.  I’m not entirely sure he even knows what we are doing or if anything we film tomorrow will even end up getting used at all.  I think they are actually finishing up some of the filming for their music video so maybe we are going to be in that?  Regardless we should all pack our bags and expect to be doing dancing, singing, and interviews.”

 

I nodded mutely and watched Sun Ye and Ye Eun continue to gush over the 2PM boys.  Should I be worried about this kind of excitement?  Instead of letting myself be troubled over that thought I proceeded to watch Sun Ye.  She was always stunning when she was animated and smiling like this.  It only seemed to happen when she was doing something for work, for us as the Wonder Girls.  It was obviously her passion.  I wondered if I ever stood a chance in competing with that.  Could I one day be the reason for such a smile? 

 

Sun Ye glanced over to me as she listened ardently to Ye Eun and I could see her eyes duck down slightly as she realized I had been watching her too.  Yeah this was awkward…

 

========

 

 

We were shown our way into the filming studio by the JYP staff even though we already knew the building inside and out from all of our previous video shoots.  They had briefed us in the car saying that they were going to be filming the music video for the “10 out of 10” single by 2PM.  None of the staff had any idea why the Wonder Girls were wanted on set.  It appeared to just be one of JYP’s mysterious whims.  He was never wrong in the past, so we all just had to go with the flow.  Not that any of us really cared since it would be fun to be on set with 2PM anyway. 

 

I followed the group through the hallways to the dressing rooms.  Today was the day.  My fingers traced down the side of my bag knowing what was hidden inside.  I had put the letter in my shoulder bag along with a change of clothes yesterday as soon as we had found out about the joint project.  This really was too good an opportunity.  Not only did we have private dressing rooms, but we would be too busy on set for there to be a risk of the other Girls rooting through Sun Ye’s things.  Plus it was a bonus that 2PM was here with us too.  If Sun Ye happened to open the letter in front of anyone else they would probably assume it was from one of those boys.  It was a nice extra bonus cover for what I was about to attempt. 

 

Finally we made it to the dressing room and put down our bags.  We only had a few minutes before we needed to rush over to the set.  JYP was there directing what was going to be in music video and we were supposed to report to him to find out our assignment. 

 

“So are you guys excited?”  Sun Ye energetically asked all of us.  “This is such a nice opportunity for us.  We hardly ever get to do any joint project work.  It’ll be a nice change for us.”

 

So Hee looked about as thrilled as she normally did and simply continued fixing her make up in the mirror.  Ye Eun at least looked properly enthused and fist pumped the air.  “Yeah let’s do this!  Uh… whatever ‘this’ is exactly.”

 

Sun Ye paraded out of the room with the rest of us trailing slightly less energetically behind her.  We had made it about halfway to the studio before I slowed to a stop.  Now was as good a chance as any I was going to have today. 

 

“Oh hey guys, I think I forgot something in the dressing room.  I’m gonna head back real fast.  I’ll meet up with you guys at the set okay?”

 

Sun Ye looked at me doubtingly.  “All we need for the recording today is our usual fantastic selves.  What could you possibly have left there?”

 

“It is really weird, but my feet seem to be moving of their own free will,” I yelled as I jogged back down the hallway.  “I’ll just be two minutes I swear!”

 

All I got in response to that was an eye roll from the leader.  That was enough permission for me to continue making my way back to the dressing room.  It wasn’t going to take me long to accomplish what I needed to do anyway. 

 

As soon as I got back into the dressing room I dove into my shoulder bag for my special letter.  I pulled it out as soon as I felt it under my fingertips.  It was taunting me with its light blue, happy appearance.  So simple looking, yet so much of what I was right now rested upon it.  I took a deep breath to calm myself and then tucked it into the top of Sun Ye’s duffle bag.  It wasn’t noticeable at first glance, but she would see it for sure as soon as she opened it up. 

 

It was a done deal.  Time to head off to set before Sun Mi came up with uncannily accurate guesses as to why I was hanging around in the dressing room by myself.  I picked up a tube of lip-gloss from my bad as an alibi and jogged back to the filming set.  All the rest of the Girls were standing on the side of the filming area with JYP and the members of 2PM.  JYP looked me up and down quickly before he turned back to the boy group.

 

“Alright we’ll use Yubin for the ending shot,” he directed before he stalked off to talk with the camera crew.

 

“Ummm found my lip-gloss,” I said as I twirled the object nervously.  “And I feel like I missed a key part of this decision making process.”

 

This just caused some laughter to ripple through both the other Wonder Girls and 2PM. 

 

“You’ve just been selected to be the ’10 out of 10’ girl at the end of their music video while the rest of us are relegated to doing an interview,” Ye Eun explained through her laughter.  “At least we don’t have to watch Sun Mi trying to be sexy again.”

 

“Hey!  I’m filled with sexy!” Sun Mi pouted.  “My sexy just functions on such a higher level that your innocent minds can’t even process it!”

 

The 2PM boys looked around slightly awkwardly since they didn’t know how to react to Sun Mi’s antics.  So Hee on the other hand did know and let it show through her loud snort of disgust.  “Yeah we are the ones that are messed up and not you, Sun Mi.”

 

Jaebeom stepped forward.  “Don’t worry about Yubin, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.  Although it was probably pretty hard for JYP to choose a lady out of all of these sexy girls here today.”

 

He grinned at all of us, but his eyes lingered the longest on Sun Ye.  He was totally checking her out!  Dammit. That was not going to fly with me.  All the other Wonder Girls seemed to think it was amusing though and I could see Ye Eun smirking out of the corner of my eyes. 

 

“Alright make up and wardrobe are going to bring by outfits for all of us, but it is gonna take them an hour or so.  JYP said that we are allowed to take some time for lunch before we get changed,” Sun Ye instructed.

 

She was so hot when she took charge like that. 

 

 ==========

 

 

We ended up goofing around for a while with some of the 2PM members.  Even if having Jaebeom around Sun Ye was making me a little nervous, I had to admit that it was nice to spend some time with other JYPE members every once in a while.  Our short break mostly consisted of us wandering around the set for the music video and grabbing snacks from the refreshment table. 

 

After about an hour of messing around the people from wardrobe showed up with our new outfits and we all headed back to our respective dressing rooms.  I knew that there was every possibility Sun Ye would see my letter at this point.  My heart started to clench up in my chest.  Urgh how nerve wracking. 

 

Sun Mi and So Hee immediately gravitated over to the clothing rack filled with our outfits.  They had pinned our names on each of our outfits, but the duo seemed to be picking through everything that wasn’t meant for them.  Ye Eun was starting to root through all the make up on the table in an attempt to find the foundation for her skin tone.  And Sun Ye…

 

Was standing there holding my letter.  Crap.  All of us were in the room with her.  Would she open it now or would she wait until she was alone?  For some reason I just figured that we wouldn’t all be here at the same time.  Alright, I had to get myself under control or I would blow my own cover.  I walked over to the clothing rack and lifted off the silver shirt and white shorts that were to be my sexy outfit for the music video.  Try and act natural Yubin. 

 

“Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Sun Ye what is that in your hand!?”  Ye Eun was practically jumping up and down with excitement. 

 

Sun Ye turned my light blue envelope over in her hands.  “Um, I’m not really sure.  It was inside my bag…”

 

“I’m so jealous!  Sun Ye that is probably a love letter!  Oh my goodness someone likes you.  Who do you think it is?  Is it Jaebeom?  I saw the looks he was shooting you before!  Oh Sun Ye you sly dog!”

 

Wow Ye Eun.  Could you be any louder?  Even Sun Mi and So Hee were distracted from all the pretty clothing to glance over at Sun Ye and her mysterious envelope. 

 

“What are you waiting for?” Ye Eun elbowed Sun Ye in the side.  “Open it up!  I want to hear who your secret admirer is!”

 

I could see Sun Ye’s hands trembling from across the room as she opened the envelope.  I was trying to look just the right amount of interested in what she was doing without being too obvious.  Which was very difficult since I felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest. 

 

Sun Ye unfolded the letter and I could see her eyes glancing over the paper with confusion at first.  Confusion that gradually turned to shock.  A light blush flashed over her cheeks and I could tell that she was trying her hardest not to look up from the letter at me.  After what seemed like an eternity she finished the letter and folded it up.  Crap crap crap.

 

“Oh my God don’t leave us hanging, Sun Ye!”  Ye Eun was beside herself with excitement.  “What was it?  Who was it from?  Was it from Jaebeom?  It was from him wasn’t it?!”

 

Sun Ye was quiet for a second.  Her face was completely hidden by her hair and I couldn’t read her reaction at all.  When she finally lifted her head she looked completely normal again.  Why wouldn’t she look at me?

 

“It’s nothing, Ye Eun,” her eyes flashed at me.  “Nothing at all.”

 

It felt as though someone had just kicked me in the stomach.  Why the hell did I have to do it like this again?  Why did she open it in front of the other Girls?  Urgh.  I felt like I was going to be sick.  I was trying really hard to appear interested in my outfit for the video, but I didn’t miss the glance that Ye Eun shot from Sun Ye to me. 

 

A staff member poked her head into our dressing room.  “Yubin we are ready for your scene.  Come change and head over to the stage.”

 

 

I never thought I would be so happy to leave a room with Sun Ye in it.

 

 ==========

 

 

 _9/14/2008_

 _Sun Ye,_

 _I screwed up royally didn’t I?  Urgh it makes me sick to even think about it at this point.  I can’t believe the way that played out.  I never meant to set you up in such a way, where you would be cornered into reading the letter.  How could I not consider the fact that the other Girls might be in the changing room when you saw it?  How could I be so stupid?_

 _But would it really have changed anything if I had given you that letter at a different time when other people weren’t around?  I might just be blaming your natural reaction on the presence of others.  I saw that look in your eyes.  You were angry, angrier than I’ve ever seen you before.  The other girls in the room might not have realized it, but I could see it written all over your face.  Urgh I should have gone with my initial idea of not trying to date a group member.  I’ve seriously messed everything up now._

 _I really have no clue how I made it through that entire video shoot.  It took every ounce of my self-control to finish filming the music video with the 2PM boys.  Standing there on set with them when I all I wanted to do was run really far away…  At that point I wasn’t sure if I wanted to scream or cry or apologize profusely over what I had done.  It didn’t help that you wouldn’t even look at me.  We filmed for the entire rest of the day and not once did you cast your gaze my way.  Urgh._

 _Now I just feel numb.  I can hardly feel the pen in my hands as I write this letter.  Is this how it is going to be now between us?  What I am going to do?  What are you going to do?  Are you going to stay holed up in your room thinking about my stupid love letter?  Will things go back to normal between us?  How are we supposed to go back to work together tomorrow?  Will we both just act like nothing has happened?  That I didn’t just terribly embarrass myself and destroy our group dynamic?_

 _A few days ago I was so sure about our future, but now everything seems a lot more cloudy and bleak.  Everything changed so very quickly between us…_

 _Well I might not know how I am going to act tomorrow when I see you again, but…  I meant what I wrote in my letter.  I will wait to hear from you, as long as necessary.  Even if it does mean I am just waiting for a formal rejection._

 _Urgh.  I don’t feel like continuing this letter for now.  Maybe I’ll just go curl up on my bed and think about what a failure I am until I fall asleep._

 _-Yubin_


	6. Chapter 6:  Patience was Never my Favorite Virtue

 

Sun Ye looked like she was about to cry as she looked over the latest letter in the stack.  It automatically triggered the protective instinct in me and I wanted to run over to the other side of the table and wrap my arms around her.  I quickly summoned all my self-control and simply leaned on the table towards her.

 

“Hey, it’s okay you know,” I said as I put my hand on her forearm comfortingly.  “Whatever happened it’s all in the past now.  Can’t do much about it at this point.”

 

She turned her eyes up sadly towards me.  “You were right… I did remember things differently.  I like to remember all the good times we had together and I always seem to forget the times when I hurt you.  I’m so sorry, Yubin.”

 

“Girl, don’t worry about it.  I don’t.  It’s not like you left me in a cloud of depression for long.  It was hardly even twenty-four hours.”

 

That comment turned Sun Ye’s sad frown into a smirk as soon as I said it.  “That’s true.  Didn’t you say in your letters here that you would wait as long as it took for me?  You didn’t even last a day before you started nagging me.  Some will power you’ve got there, Yubin.”

 

“Yeah and where would we have been if I hadn’t done that?” I replied with an eye roll.  “We would have been avoiding each other on stage and awkwardly out of sync in every performance.  All our fans would have noticed the division between us and tales of our mutual hatred would have spread like wildfire across the Internet.  I did the right thing.”

 

Sun Ye reached down into the stack of letters and picked the next one up with a grin.  “Well if the last letter was about me tearing apart your hopes and dreams of dating me than I can take a guess what this letter is about.”

 

“Whoa, are you actually going to continue reading the letters without me having to force you?”  I jeered with an exaggerated look of surprise on my face.

 

“Instead of responding to your sarcasm I shall just read this letter.  You are lucky that I’m really excited to read this one otherwise I would draw this argument out even more.”

 

With that Sun Ye opened the letter she held in her hands and started to read.

 

 ==========

 

 

The loud beeping of my alarm clock abruptly woke me up.  I turned to my side and slammed my hand on top of the infernal contraption to make it stop.  My head was filled with the light hum of an oncoming headache.  I couldn’t remember doing anything that would specifically cause a headache.  Unless… I looked at the time on my clock and did some quick calculations in my head.  Yup, I only got two hours of sleep.  Fantastic.  This was going to be a long, terrible day.  I could tell already. 

 

I got up out of my bed and brushed myself off.  My fingers paused over my wrinkled clothing and I realized that I had never changed out of my clothes from yesterday.  I knew I should probably get changed and shower for the day, but I didn’t seem to have the energy to manage that right now.  Maybe after I had some breakfast.  I flipped my covers back over my bed, straightened them out, and then headed out into the kitchen to get something to eat. 

 

When I got to the kitchen breakfast seemed like less of a good idea.  Sun Ye was there frying up eggs and preparing rice for everyone.  Except that everyone wasn’t there right now.  It was just Sun Ye.  And me.  Alone.  Crap.  Was I really going to be in this awkward situation first thing in the morning?  Alright, well I knew I had to act normal so she wouldn’t freak out… well any more than she already had.  I scooted a chair out from around our kitchen table and sat down.

 

“Good morning!” Sun Ye chirped as she turned around with a plate of eggs and toast.  As soon as she realized it was just me sitting there her eyes quickly darted downward in a sure sign she was nervous. 

 

“Good morning to you too,” I said as naturally as I could manage.  “You have good timing ‘cause I was just thinking about how hungry I was.”

 

Sun Ye nodded mutely and shuffled off to the kitchen to finish preparing the rice for everyone.  Wow was she just going to avoid speaking to me altogether?  I had hoped that after a night’s rest she would be at least talk a little bit more than she did yesterday.  Although judging from the small, dark circles under her eyes she had probably gotten about as much rest last night as I did.  We were both going to be in need of a severe amount of makeup to make it through today. 

 

I reached toward the plate of eggs and toast and started forming the two into some semblance of a sandwich.  A lot of the other Wonder Girls thought my penchant for egg sandwiches was weird, but I guess it was just one of those culinary delights that I got used to during my time in America.  While I finishing my creation the other Girls stumbled out of their rooms and to their respective seats at the breakfast table. 

 

Ye Eun collapsed on the table.  “Is it done yet, Sun Ye?!  I’m so hungry I could eat an elephant!”

 

“We know, Ye Eun,” So Hee said with an eye roll.  “You say that every morning.”

 

“Only cause every morning it’s true!”

 

We all had a good chuckle at this.  Well all of us except Sun Ye, who was just standing there with the large bowl of rice impassively.  She was just going to make everything completely awkward if she kept acting like this. 

 

Ye Eun immediately picked up on the way Sun Ye was acting too.  “Geez Sun Ye stop acting like a zombie and sit your butt down.  You are just standing there holding all my food right out of reach.”

 

Sun Ye momentarily snapped out of it enough to set the food down on the table in front of the ravenous Ye Eun and took a seat at the table with all the rest of us. 

 

“Sun Ye is probably just still in a state of shock over her romantic looo~ve letter!” Sun Mi called out in a singsong voice. 

 

This caused Ye Eun to chuckle through her mouthful of rice.  “Yeah I know!  She was all like, ‘Oh no!  A love letter!  This doesn’t have to do with work or school, oh what should I do?!’”

 

So Hee and Sun Mi started laughing hysterically at this retort from Ye Eun.  Sun Ye looked much less amused.  I thought that Sun Ye’s plate of food was going to burst into flames at any second from how intensely she was staring at it.  Guess I needed to step in and get them to lay off her a bit.  It wasn’t going to be good for me either if this continued. 

 

“Hey guys lay off of her, ya know?  I know you all are jealous that she has an admirer and you don’t, but she obviously doesn’t want to talk about it right now.”

 

All three of the other girls looked slightly embarrassed at my comment and I figured it would calm Sun Ye down.  Unfortunately she just looked even more awkward that I was the one who stood up for her.  How much longer was this going to go on again?  The rest of our Wonder Girls career?  I could feel my headache getting worse.

 

Ye Eun looked anxiously at the expressions on both of our faces and artfully changed the subject.  “I seem to have run out of rice!  So I guess it is time for some scrambled eggs!”

 

Luckily the two younger girls seemed to take the hint for once and just continued eating their breakfast.  We lightly chatted about the vocal and dance practices for ‘Nobody’ that we were scheduled for today.  After a few minutes Sun Ye finally seemed to loosen up a bit and even engaged in some of the talk about our upcoming ‘Nobody’ promotions.  Even if she was a little more relaxed she still managed to completely avoid making any sort of eye contact with me.  Urgh.  I was probably going to need some Advil to make it through the day…

 

 ==========

 

 

After we finished up our slightly stilted breakfast I headed back to my room to grab a towel and showering stuff.  I had hardly been inside my bedroom for a minute when I heard a light tapping on my door.  I turned around and saw Ye Eun slipping into my room.  She closed the door quietly behind herself.  It wasn’t very often that this stoic faced, serious side of Ye Eun made an appearance.  And if she followed me back to my room for a private chat… it could really only mean one thing. 

 

“Hey Ye Eun,” I said nonchalantly.  “What brings you here to my room while I prepare for my shower?  Hoping to catch a free show?”

 

Ye Eun continued her serious stare at me.  “Cut the crap, Yubin.  The Terrible Twosome might not have picked up on it yet, but I definitely felt those vibes back in there.  Sit your butt down and we are gonna talk about whatever is going on here.”

 

I found myself instantly following her command and sitting on the edge of my bed with her.  Somehow I knew that this serious Ye Eun was something I shouldn’t take lightly. 

 

“Okay, now I know I’m not the most observant person in the world, but after working with Sun Ye for over two years now I have gotten pretty good at reading her.  And that letter has her totally wigged out.  Now if it was from one of the 2PM boys, whom we hardly know, she definitely would have shown us the letter and laughed it off with us as those boys being silly.  But she didn’t.  She immediately hid the letter from all of us and has gone totally space-case since reading it.  And oddly enough she hasn’t given you so much as a single look since that glare she sent your way as soon as she finished reading her mystery letter.”

 

She had paused in her conversation with me.  Obviously she wanted me to say something in response to her statement.  I couldn’t really think of anything to say right now.  My hands were really interesting at the moment so I just continued to stare at them. 

 

I heard Ye Eun sigh next to me. 

 

“You wrote that letter didn’t you?” She asked me quietly. 

 

There was obviously no way I was going to get out of this room unless I talked to Ye Eun about this.  Besides, no one knew Sun Ye better than her… maybe it would be good for both of us.

 

“Do you think Sun Mi and So Hee know yet?”  I whispered back to Ye Eun.

 

Ye Eun shuffled closer to me on the bed and draped her arm around my shoulders comfortingly.  “No, I don’t think they have figured it out yet.  But the way you two are acting I’m sure it won’t be long before Sun Mi has one of her creepy-accurate guesses.”

 

I nodded mutely. 

 

“Okay um I don’t exactly have tons of experience in this area, but I don’t want to see the Wonder Girls in this pathetic, disjointed state.  Now that I know for sure you are the one who was interested in Sun Ye… this has been going on for a while hasn’t it?  You’ve been acting different around her for several weeks at least.”

 

“Yeah I guess… I don’t really even know how long I’ve liked her at this point, but I’ve only actively been trying to get her attention for about a month or so.  I just… I didn’t think it was going to turn out quite this way.  I honestly thought that she might feel the same way I did.”

 

Ye Eun nodded slowly.  “And what makes you so sure she doesn’t?”

 

I could feel my jaw drop as I stared at Ye Eun.  Did she really just say that?

 

“Look with you it was a little harder to tell that something was up cause it was a smooth, subtle change overall.  But with Sun Ye… she started acting weird just a week or so ago.  I’ve seen the looks she has been giving you lately.  I mean, I don’t want to get your hopes up and say it is something it isn’t, but the way she looks at you has definitely changed.  And I would be willing to bet money that you were both checking each other out during our last dance practice.  It was so awkward to see you both sneaking glances at one another!”

 

“Yeah she has been acting a little differently for the past few weeks hasn’t she?” I said with a small smile.  “Ever since we went out on that date…”

 

Now it was Ye Eun’s turn to have her jaw drop.  ‘WHOA.  Wait!  What?  You already took her out on a date?!”

 

“No, it wasn’t really a date.  Just a half-date,” I used my word I had created for our night out.  “I mean, I meant it as a date, but I didn’t really say that to her in… uh so many words.”

 

Ye Eun glared and then smacked me soundly upside the head.

 

“OW!  What the hell was that for!?”

 

“Who takes people out on dates without the other person’s consent, Yubin?!  Seriously, I swear sometimes you are just such a total guy.”

 

“Okay maybe it wasn’t the best idea ever, but still something must have worked.  Even you said that you thought she was acting more positively towards me since I took her for a romantic night out.”

 

Ye Eun huffed and seemed to go deep in thought about the entire situation.  Her face was totally blank which was making it very difficult to read her.  Was she going to tell me to back off from her best friend?  I guess I wouldn’t blame her at this point after all the damage I had evidently done.  Finally she turned to me with her decision.

 

“Just go for it, Yubin.  Sun Ye is a brooder and she will just isolate herself and worry about this whole thing constantly unless you give her a push.  I think you stand a solid chance with her, cause frankly she kinda needs an outlet like this in her life to distract her from all her stress.” 

 

She sighed lightly. 

 

“Besides, as Sun Ye’s best friend I want to see her happy.  I can tell she isn’t happy now.  I can’t do anything more for her so you are going to have to do it for me, okay?”

 

Did Ye Eun just give me her blessing to go out with her best friend?  This was getting to be a seriously crazy morning.  But I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

 

“Um thanks Ye Eun,” I replied awkwardly.  “First I would have to get her to talk to me though… I also kinda said that I would wait for her reply as long as it took in the letter.  It might be kinda contradictory to just confront her.”

 

Ye Eun blushed lightly when she heard my proclamation from my letter.  Crap.  I probably shouldn’t be telling people the sappy things I wrote in that should I?

 

“Um well I wouldn’t know about what was in your letter, but it doesn’t seem like a Yubin-ish thing to do to me.  Just waiting around.  You are always the one who charges up to challenges and battles them head on.  If Sun Ye really does have feelings for you, I’m sure that would be one of the qualities she likes about you.”

 

I laughed at this.  “It’s true!  Patience never was my favorite virtue!”

 

Ye Eun turned to me on the bed and slapped her hands down on both my shoulders. 

 

“Good luck Yubin.  I trust you to make my good friend happy.  And also to loosen her up into less of an uptight workaholic.  The fate of the Wonder Girls rests in your hands.”

 

That was sort of a heavy statement for a joke.  I smiled and nodded back at Ye Eun.  Despite the fact that I initially didn’t want the other Girls to know about this whole crush I felt really happy that Ye Eun at least had found out.  Her pep talk was indeed inspiring and it had given me just the push I needed. 

 

I had promised before that Sun Ye was going to be my girlfriend and by the end of the day she was going to be just that. 

 

 ===========

 

 

I trudged into the apartment with the rest of the Girls.  Our singing practice had gone fine that afternoon, but dance practice had basically been a wash due to all of us failing to get into the rhythm.  So Hee and Sun Mi were tired from their current high school workload and it showed in their sluggish dance steps.  Ye Eun was totally distracted watching Sun Ye to see how she was coping today.  And Sun Ye…

 

I’ve never seen Sun Ye so out of sorts at a practice.  Usually she could work past her issues and stress to focus on our Wonder Girls’ activities.  Today it was clear that that wasn’t going to be possible after just a few hours in the studio.  By the end of our time there we were all exhausted; more from the sense that we weren’t accomplishing anything of note today rather than from physical exertion.  Finally, Ye Eun had managed to convince Sun Ye to let us all go back to the apartment so we could take a nice night off.  We all obviously needed it. 

 

So Hee and I sat down in the living room to watch TV while Sun Mi took the first shower.  Ye Eun and Sun Ye headed off to the kitchen to make dinner for all of us.  I could hear them talking softly to each other, which I found unsettling.  What was Ye Eun telling her?  It was getting very difficult to sit there pretending to pay attention to the television when all I wanted to do was charge into the kitchen and confront Sun Ye about her own feelings. 

 

My patience managed to hold out through dinner and our little hang out period in the living room.  Sun Mi and So He almost fell asleep on the couch, at which point Sun Ye ushered them to their rooms and then waved goodnight to Ye Eun and me as well.  I heard the door to her room click shut quietly and then I turned to Ye Eun.

 

Ye Eun mock saluted me with a goofy smile.  “Good luck soldier.”

 

I grinned back at her and took a deep breath to steady my nerves.  It all came down to this.  I walked up to Sun Ye’s room and knocked once lightly before letting myself inside.  There was no way I was giving her the chance to lock the door.  Sun Ye was already tucked under the covers on her bed and was staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights.

 

“Yo.  We need to talk.”

 

I slowly walked over to her bed to sit down.  She looked at me uncomfortably as I pulled my legs up to sit cross-legged facing her on top of the covers.  As soon as our legs touched through the covers Sun Ye scooted a little further away.  Okay… I should probably just ignore that ego killer right now.  I had to be my normal, confidant, Yubin-y self to win her over.

 

“Couldn’t this just wait until tomorrow, Yubin?” she asked me irritably.  “Or really any other time?”

 

“Hah yeah right.” I smirked at her.  “Judging from the way you have been making no eye contact and refuse to talk to me I figured you were just planning on avoiding the situation all together.  Possibly just pretend it never happened?  That I never gave you that letter… or took you out on the town?”

 

Sun Ye blushed beautifully and then averted her eyes nervously.  “Yubin, I… we… we can’t do this.  Why couldn’t you have kept this all to yourself?  We could have both gone on pretending that everything was normal…”

 

I reached across the space between us and nudged her chin so she was forced to look at me. 

 

“Sun Ye, please.  For just a minute… forget you are a pop-star.  Forget you are a Wonder Girl.  Forget that the spotlight ever even touched you.  Pretend you are just a normal girl going to college and trying to live her life.  And I am just a normal girl who happens to be totally infatuated with you and wants to make you happy.”

 

A blush spread it’s way across her face.  My courage grew at the sight and I decided to push a little harder.  I leaned in towards Sun Ye and rested my forehead against hers.  Her breath was hot and fast on my face.

 

“What would you say to that?” I said quietly.  “That I wanted you to be my girlfriend?”

 

It was the longest ten seconds in my life before she blessed me with her response.

 

“I would say yes…” she whispered.

 

All my fears that had still remained in my chest disappeared at once like they were never even there in the first place.  I smiled lightly and leaned back so I could see her face.  She was staring at me sadly and looked like she was about to cry.

 

“If I was a normal girl I would say yes, Yubin,” she continued softly.  “But I’m not a normal girl and neither are you.  Instead we are people who constantly have the eyes of the nation on us, just waiting for us to mess up and give them a good headline to read.  We have thousands of fans who worship us to unreal standards who we need to be as perfect as humanly possible for… and… We just can’t.”

 

I knew it.  She was afraid of ‘us’ because of the threat it posed to her job.  Everything always came back to that with her.  But I wasn’t going to let her response scare me away.  She had already admitted she felt something for me too and that alone was enough to give me strength.

 

“So you getting angry over the letter… was that just because you found it when the other Girls were around?”

 

Her eyes flashed dangerously.  “I’m the leader of this group, Yubin.  If they see me… goofing around like this… what kind of example am I setting?”

 

I ignored her anger and just grinned at her.  “So there was nothing wrong with my letter than?  Just its presentation?  I bet you actually liked it!”

 

This taunt just made her blush more. 

 

“… that letter was really sweet.”

 

It was amazing how much she could make my heart soar with just a few words.

 

“Sun Ye, you have been working hard for JYP Entertainment ever since you were what?  Twelve?  I’m not going to say it was all a waste because you have become a beautiful, talented woman.”

 

This elicited another blush from her.

 

“But it’s time you do something for yourself and not your career.  And the same goes for me.”

 

Sun Ye looked like she was really conflicted.  But she wasn’t edging away from my touch anymore.  I scooted across the bed so that I was sitting up next to her. Reaching down I gently took her hand so our fingers laced together. 

 

“Yubin…”

 

And we just sat there leaning against each other.  I could feel her quick breathing at my side.  We didn’t need to say anything for now.  All I wanted was for her to appreciate my presence.  I could be calm and rational.  I wasn’t going to run through the streets screaming to the high heavens that Sun Ye was my girlfriend for all the tabloids to hear.  She was obviously lost in her thoughts and I could see out of the corner of my eye that she had closed her eyes.  Was she falling asleep on me?

 

“Yubin…” her voice startled me out of my thoughts.  “I don’t want the other Girls to know about us.  At least not for now.”

 

Whoa.  Whoa.  Whoa.

 

“Um… ‘Us?’” I asked hopefully.

 

She pulled back from my shoulder and smiled shyly at me.

 

“Yeah… ‘us.’  You know in that girlfriend-y sense of the word.”

 

I don’t think I had smiled quite like I did at that point ever before in my entire life. 

 

 ==========

 

 

 _9/15/2008_

 _My Sun Ye,_

 _Yeah, it seemed only appropriate that I change the way I address my letters now.  I feel completely numb all over again.  But tonight it isn’t from sheer pain and confusion.  My heart is beating so fast from our talk that I just can’t feel the rest of my body.  I don’t know how I managed to make it out of your room and back to mine with the complete haze that my mind is in right now._

 _I can’t believe that you are my girlfriend now.  It feels so surreal to actually be writing that.  Don’t worry I’m going to play it totally cool tomorrow.  No one will know a thing.  Except Ye Eun.  She will inevitably find out about our relationship from the smiles on both of our faces._

 _Crap.  Now that I think about it… It might be really hard to do this after all.  I mean, I’ve been away from you for only 15 minutes and I already want to lace my fingers through yours again or hold you in my arms.  Will I be able to make it through the days now without constantly touching you and reminding you of my feelings?  Urgh.  What am I saying?  Of course I will.  You said you didn’t want people to know about us as a couple.  I’ll obey your request.  How could I not?  You just granted my greatest wish tonight so it is really the least I could do for you._

 _My mind is such a blur right now.  All the things I want to do with you.  Oh God, That sounded slightly pervy didn’t it?  I didn’t mean anything like THAT.  Well I mean… not yet.  I mean all the places I want to take you on a date and such.  We are both so busy, especially with the ‘Nobody’ release just around the corner, that I doubt we will have much time to actually go out and do anything.  That’ll be fine for now.  I’m sure I will still be able to have a good time with you… in uh… a girlfriend-y capacity even if we are just working together._

 _Urgh.  Tomorrow isn’t coming fast enough.  I need to see you again._

 _-your girlfriend Yubin_


	7. Chapter 7: Hello foot.  Meet mouth.

 

Sun Ye was obviously correct at guessing the contents of the letter and was grinning like a teenaged schoolgirl.  It really tore at my already conflicted emotions to see that.  I used to love it when she smiled like that and it was all the sweeter when I was the cause of her happiness.  But I wasn’t allowed to think like that now, right?  I mean, we had broken up and our whole relationship was in the past now.  It would only make things more difficult for me if I started thinking in a girlfriend-y way again.  Urgh… Why did this whole Sun Ye and me thing have to be so complicated?

 

When I looked back over at Sun Ye she was already finished with the letter and was putting it back in its envelope.  The giddy smile on her face hadn’t disappeared yet.

 

“My Sun Ye, huh?  You always were a tad bit possessive.”

 

I grinned back at her.  “You loved how possessive I was.  It made you feel like a princess being fought over.  Besides I wouldn’t have been so territorial if you didn’t keep making all the Korean boys fall in love with you.  Man, if I had that many dudes chasing after me maybe I wouldn’t have turned out gay.”

 

“I highly doubt that,” she said with a smirk.

 

“Umm… Sorry to interrupt, but I brought you ladies some drinks.”

 

The unfamiliar voice startled me out of my seat, which only made Sun Ye smirk harder in my direction.  I glared right back at her.  There were certain conversations I didn’t want the general public to hear about the famous rapper Yubin and my sexuality was definitely one of them.  Fortunately we had been speaking in Korean ever since we had come into the café, so I doubted this lone employee had understood anything we had said. 

 

“Maybe you should sit down and stop staring at the poor guy like an idiot.  I think you are scaring him,” Sun Ye told me.

 

The poor café employee did in fact look terribly uncomfortable standing there with our drinks on a tray.  And I was the weirdo who jumped clear out of her seat at the sound of a human voice.  Go me.

 

“Crap… I’m sorry about that,” I apologized in English as I sat back down again.  “You startled me there.”

 

He placed the tray with the drinks down on the table for us.

 

“No, no.  It’s all my fault.  I just wanted to bring you ladies something to drink.  You haven’t ordered anything since you came in so I figured you were probably thirsty.  I didn’t know if you liked coffee or tea better so I brought one of each.”

 

I could see Sun Ye’s eyes light up at the mention of coffee so I pushed that beverage towards her and took the tea for myself.  She was so predictable sometimes.

 

“Thanks,” I said with a smile.

 

He fidgeted nervously, but it didn’t look like he was going to leave us in peace yet.  “Um no problem.  It’s on the house of course.”

 

I was about to argue back that I would of course be paying for anything we drank here when I noticed the blush covering his face.  Crap.  This could only mean…

 

“I’m one of your biggest fans,” he mumbled.

 

Sun Ye just chuckled at the predicament I had just landed myself in at this café.  She was lucky.  She could walk anywhere in Korea and be spotted in a heartbeat, but here in the US she was relatively unknown.  Curse her and her anonymity!  I was always at risk for fans recognizing me in the streets.  I could only hope that when I finished talking to this fan he would let Sun Ye and I continue our conversation without him hanging around. 

 

“Um… wow!  Thanks,” I awkwardly replied.

 

He just fidgeted some more.  “Do you think… Um could you sign my apron please?”

 

I looked at him in surprise as he pulled a Sharpie out of thin air.  He held the bottom of the work apron he was wearing towards me patiently.

 

“No problem,” I said with a small smile.  “Anything for a fan.”

 

I signed his apron quickly and he vanished back to behind the counter in a cloud of happiness.  Deep down I knew I should have been nicer to him, but now was just not the time to be dealing with overzealous groupies.  Not when I was sitting across the table from my ex.  My ex who might just be trying to get back together with me…?

 

“So is this basically what happens during a normal day for Kim Yubin now?  Walking around and giving out autographs to all her adoring fans?  I’m surprised that your record label even lets you walk through the streets on your own.”

 

“Haha,” I mockingly laughed.  “I know that it is just as bad for you in Korea.  What was it you were being described as after your latest album?  The new Lee Hyori?  Both incredibly sexy and constantly creating number one singles left and right?”

 

Sun Ye blushed when I mentioned the reviews of her newest single. 

 

“It’s really not a big deal,” she said humbly.  “After you left for the US I just focused on my career exclusively.  I didn’t even think about it really, I mostly just did it to forget you.  Guess I must have improved a lot from all the practice I was doing because JYP and other people in the music business noticed.  When the Wonder Girls broke up they already had everything ready for my solo career.  Besides being number one in Korea is nothing compared to what you’ve managed to accomplish.  What do you have now?  Six number one songs on the billboard and three double platinum albums?  Plus you just finished up a joint tour with Beyonce.  It’s not even a comparison…”

 

“I just got lucky,” I said as I nervously ran my fingers through my hair.  “If I hadn’t gotten the help I did I would never have been so successful.  And I bet you could do just as well in the US if you started working on your English again.  With people like me paving the way for Asians on the music scene you could definitely cross over.”

 

My narcissistic comment just earned me an eye roll from Sun Ye.  But all this talk about my glorious self was just serving as a distraction from my letters. 

 

“As much as I love talking about myself and my accomplishments…”

 

“Yeah I know.  Read the next letter, right?”

 

I watched as Sun Ye picked up another letter off of the stack in one hand and her newly acquired coffee in the other.  If she enjoyed the last letter she would probably enjoy this one as well.  She always did get pleasure from me making a fool of myself every once-in-a-while. 

 

 ==========

 

 

Things had basically returned to normal for all of us in the Wonder Girls.  At least on the surface they had.  Sun Ye and I had gone back to acting the way we had before this whole complicated situation had arisen all those weeks ago.  Ye Eun seemed pleased with that at least.  Apparently she accepted whatever had happened between Sun Ye and I and didn’t pry into the matter.  So Hee and Sun Mi were just happy that Sun Ye had gotten over her ‘love letter funk’ as they had termed it.  And I was on cloud nine knowing that my girly crush was returned in equally girly a fashion.

 

Despite the fact that we were dating now we hadn’t had much time to really explore our relationship on any level.  We would smile more at each other and talk a little more when we were at home, but that was basically the extent of it.  ‘Nobody’ was scheduled to debut very soon and we were definitely tight on time.  We had finally finished recording all of the tracks, but were still working on a ton of prep work.  Besides doing ‘Nobody’ dance practice for hours every day, we were planning schedules, synchronizing vocals, learning English, and preparing for our debut performance.  That pre-single crunch was always the busiest time period for us. 

 

I knew that it must be killing her as much as it was me that we had just admitted our feelings to each other but hadn’t had a chance to go beyond that.  It was maddeningly frustrating to have her that close and not be able to do anything.  I probably would have gone out of my way to spend time with her except that we were both so exhausted from our constant practicing that we all fell asleep the second we got in the door to our apartment.  At this point it was unrealistic to expect to have any sort of free time alone together.  Eventually it would happen, we would just have to wait patiently until then.

 

But acceptance didn’t make the wait any easier.  We were in the middle of another grueling dance practice for ‘Nobody’ and were reaching the 4 hours of practice straight mark.  The entire dance had long since been mastered, but Sun Ye was pushing us to be able to do it absolutely, perfectly in sync.  None of us minded the extra practice, but certain members were starting to lose focus.

 

“Leaaaader~!” Sun Mi yelled.  “I don’t think I can move another step until I have dinner.  I’m soooo hungry.”

 

So Hee walked over and checked her cell for the time.  “It’s 10 o’clock already… Just let us eat already.”

 

Sun Ye gave a doubtful look to the two younger members.  “I don’t know.  We still haven’t mastered the ending turns.  Ye Eun, you are still spinning a little too fast.”

 

“Probably because my head is spinning from a lack of food.”

 

I chuckled at Ye Eun’s comeback.  I knew that she was probably being the hardest hit from this food separation, but she had been very understanding about it up until now.  I could see Sun Ye start to cave as she realized she was outnumbered on the eat-versus-practice decision.

 

“Fine,” she conceded.  “So Hee and Sun Mi can run to the convenience store down the street and pick out some boxed meals and bring them back here.  The rest of us can continue to practice until they get back here with the food.  It’s a compromise, okay?”

 

Sun Mi clapped her hands and started jumping up and down with joy.  So Hee already had her coat on and was slipping out the door.  They sure wanted out of this practice.  I could see Ye Eun flick her eyes over toward me.  Hmmm what was she planning?

 

“You know,” Ye Eun said as soon as the younger girls had exited the room, “Those girls are just going to get in trouble if you let them out on their own.  I should probably go with them just to make sure they don’t go and play in traffic or something.”

 

I looked over at Ye Eun and mouthed a silent thank you.  She was so going to get a bag of her favorite rice chips later for her brilliant act of kindness.  Ye Eun just grinned back at me and darted out the door after the others before Sun Ye could formulate an argument to her idea.  Sun Ye just stared open mouthed at the door swinging shut.  It only took her a few seconds to realize what her friend had just done and I could see her tense up a little bit from across the practice room. 

 

There was too much distance between us and all I could think of was lessening it.  I walked slowly across the room towards her.  She was still facing the door with her back to me, but I knew she could see me coming in the mirrors placed all over the practice space.  I lightly traced my fingers down her arm and could see her shudder under my touch.  Victory.

 

“Hey sexy,” I said in my deep, teasing voice.  “What brings you to this side of the dance hall?”

 

She blushed lightly and laughed at my ice breaking comment.  I could feel the tension disappear between us instantly. 

 

“Well I was trying to lead a practice, but everyone seems a little distracted at the moment.”

 

Damn right I was distracted.  I lightly twirled Sun Ye so she was facing me.

 

“Ooooh right.  Dance practice…Well, all’s well that ends well they say,” I coyly remarked.  “Speaking of which, have you been working on your six step?  I wouldn’t want you to be out of touch when we stop by the warehouse next time.”

 

Sun Ye just looked at me like I was crazy. 

 

“Are you kidding me?  You think I’ve had time to practice break dancing with all the promotion work that we’ve been doing?”

 

“Then there is no time like the present,” I said to her with a grin.

 

I got down on the floor of the dance hall and did a quick six step to inspire her.  When I finished I looked up at her expectantly.  She gave me a light smile and shook her head in defeat.  I was so good at winning her over.  Sun Ye joined me on the floor and got in the basic starting position of the six step and began doing each part slowly as she felt out the rhythm of the motion again.  For someone who hadn’t practiced in such a long time she really wasn’t doing badly. 

 

“Not bad at all!  You just need to straighten your leg more at step two and step six.”

 

I stood up and started moving to her other side to correct her motions.  Unfortunately Sun Ye had been concentrating so much on the dance that she hadn’t noticed my change in position and had continued to do the six step while I tried to step over her.  She kicked out her leg quickly and ended up knocking me completely off my feet… and right on top of her. 

 

Somehow I managed to land on my forearms so I hadn’t completely knocked the wind out of her.  She fell from her six step raised position on the ground to lying flat right underneath me.  Urgh this was quickly turning into a movie cliché.  Sun Ye flipped herself over slowly so she was facing me as I looked down at her.  Well I had always been a fan of movies… so this was probably okay, right?

 

“Um sorry about that,” I said softly.  “You really should focus just a little bit less when you dance and pay more attention to your surroundings.”

 

She just stared back up into my eyes. 

 

“Well all’s well that ends well,” she whispered.

 

I beamed back down at her.  This girl was absolutely fantastic.  She just grasped my heart entirely with everything she said.  How had I managed to last this long without being able to talk to her alone like this? 

 

Sun Ye’s eyes slowly trailed from my eyes down my face.  Was there something there?  Her gaze finally ended on my lips.  Oh my goodness.  My princess was thinking about kissing me.  Here I was propped up on my elbows on top of her and she was thinking about kissing me.  I just gracelessly fell on top of her, how could she want to kiss me?  Okay obviously my brain had broken down cause it only seemed to be looping back to one fact.

 

That Sun Ye was going to kiss me.

 

She tentatively tilted her head up so that her face was tantalizingly close to my own.  I could feel her shuddering breath on my lips.  It felt like my body was about to completely shut down from the anticipation. 

 

“Do you always kiss girls before you go out on a date with them,” I whispered.

 

Crap.  CRAP.  Did I _seriously_ just say that!?  I couldn’t even keep my sarcasm in check for one perfect moment!? 

 

I could see a deep blush instantly cover Sun Ye’s entire face in embarrassment.  She rocketed herself backwards and out from her position underneath me.  I’ve never seen her look that awkwardly embarrassed ever in her entire life. 

 

Hey everyone, meet Yubin: the World’s greatest idiot.  Way to go me…

 

There was no way I was going to mess this up any more than I already had lately.  I scooted over to Sun Ye’s side where she was sitting against the mirrors.  My hand gravitated to her shoulder as I tried to squeeze it comfortingly.  She was having trouble looking at me in the face and I thought she was about to cry.

 

“Oh my goodness, Sun Ye.  I’m so very sorry,” I apologized profusely.  “That… It just came out of my mouth.  I totally didn’t mean that at all!  I’m so sorry.  You can kiss me any time you want.”

 

Sun Ye looked over at me sadly.

 

“Yeah I think the moment has definitely passed on that front.”

 

I sighed.  Why did I always have to mess up good things?

 

“Sun Ye, I really REALLY like you.  Don’t ever question that for a second,” I said with a serious look.  “I just seem to have this tendency to say very silly things at the worst possible times.  When you went to kiss me… it was like my brain just shut down.”

 

This earned a small smile from Sun Ye. 

 

“Um… I think my brain basically did the same thing, too.” 

 

I grinned my goofy smile that was for her eyes only.  “Don’t worry.  I’m totally going to make this up to you.”

 

She raised a delicate eyebrow at me questioningly.  “Oh really now?  How do you think you are going to manage that?  I don’t just dole out forgiveness that easily.”

 

“I’m going to take you out on a date,” I said confidently.  “Then we will be able to kiss as much as we want.”

 

Sun Ye’s blush formed in record making speed and covered her cheeks.  That comment definitely won her over.  She always seemed to respond to my confidence best.

 

“Of course, I wouldn’t be able to take you out on this date right away.  Our schedule is too tight right now.  But the second there is a free day I will be there with the greatest date ever planned.  Waiting for you.”

 

She just nodded slowly at me, obviously too stunned to do much else.  Any further discussion of the matter was ended as the missing trio of members decided to burst into the studio ruining our connected moment.  Urgh.  If Ye Eun was really going to be our distraction so Sun Ye and I could get some alone time I was definitely going to have to decide a signal for when she re-entered rooms.  Perhaps it was a good thing that Sun Ye and I had cut our kiss off before it had even happened…

 

“They were having a sale, so dinner is on me!” Sun Mi yelled before she chucked a boxed meal directly at my head.

 

I wasn’t remotely prepared for the toss and the dinner hit me full force right in the face and exploded everywhere. 

 

“Ooo,” she looked at me sheepishly.  “Although now dinner seems to be on Yubin.”

 

ARGH.  I sent an absolutely frigid glare Sun Mi’s way as I tried to rein in all the insults I wanted to throw at her. 

 

“Argh… You are soo lucky I am in a good mood right now,” I said as I wiped all the remnants of my meal off of myself.

 

This prompted a snicker out of Ye Eun.  “Pfft.  I bet you are.”

 

Now it was Sun Ye’s turn to glare.  Oh I bet Ye Eun was going to get it from her best friend later.  I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.  It’s not like we could really stay mad at each other for long.  We all got along a little too well for that to happen.  It was best to just go with the flow.

 

After all, all’s well that ends well, right?

 

 ==========

 

 

 _09/28/2008_

 _Dearest Sun Ye,_

 _Today I was so scared I had lost you.  Only for a moment, but it left its mark.  I really can’t believe my mouth sometimes.  It just says things without any input from my brain, I swear.  The second that ‘kissing before a date’ comment had left my mouth I wanted to just sink into a giant hole in the ground.  We managed to patch everything up quickly enough, but still… I can’t help but feel awful over the whole thing.  I promise I will think a little more when I am with you.  Sometimes it just feels too easy to sit back and work with my emotions alone when it comes to you.  I feel so strongly about you that I can’t help but rely on that passion to guide me in the right direction.  My brain just takes a back seat._

 _Plus I can’t believe Ye Eun just charged into the room with So Hee and Sun Mi!  That girl knew she was leaving us alone to do whatever we saw fit.  She could have guessed that we were doing something girlfriend-y.  I guess luckily we weren’t.  But what about next time?  I hope you sit down your friend and have a talk with her or else I will.  If you really don’t want our relationship to be public we are going to have to work out some sort of signal so we know when people are around and might see us.  Should we train Ye Eun to be our lookout?  I guess that wouldn’t quite be fair to her to relegate her to that duty.  Perhaps we just need to be more cautious on our own._

 _Everything worked out fine in the end this time though.  All the whole thing did was force me to seriously start planning for our first date.  The rest of the dance practice all I could think of was that goal.  I’ve got some pretty excellent ideas worked out.  Now I just have to narrow them down.  I don’t think that we will have free time for at least two weeks though.  JYP already has us booked on a different music program every night for the foreseeable future.  But trust me.  I will have everything worked out for our special night by the time we have a free moment.  And it will be perfect in every way._

 _And after that?  We can kiss all you like._

 _-your terribly excited girlfriend, Yubin_

 

 _  
_


	8. Chapter 8:  Imagining the Perfect Day

 

Sun Ye closed the letter with a grin.  She probably enjoyed that one as much as the last one.  We were definitely at the fluffy, happy letter section of the pile. 

 

“You know, I had almost forgotten about that wise crack you made about me being slutty,” she said with a wry smile.

 

“Now that’s blowing it way out of proportion,” I countered.  “I simply implied that we should go out on a formal date before we start lip-locking.  And it’s not like I didn’t want to kiss you.  You have no idea how much I wanted to do that.”

 

She quirked her eyebrow up at me as if I had said something ridiculous. 

 

“I bet I have a fair idea of what desires you were having.  Anyway, you more than made up for your totally brainless comment with our first night out.  At first I was disappointed that we didn’t kiss in the dance studio, since it was pretty romantic at the time, but in the end I am glad we decided to wait.  I can’t imagine a more perfect first kiss.”

 

I could tell that my eyes had widened visibly at Sun Ye’s comment because she now looked beyond embarrassed.  My brain was already going a mile a minute at what her little confession had just revealed.

 

“Wait… Are you telling me that I was your first kiss?  Like, ever?!”  I managed to stutter out.

 

“Geez Yubin,” Sun Ye said with her trademark blush covering her face.  “Is it really so surprising?  I told you before that you were the first person I had ever dated.  And obviously I didn’t want to go around kissing people before going on dates with them.  So if you were my first person I dated than the inevitable conclusion would be that you were the first person I kissed as well.  You were a whole ton of firsts really…”

 

I fought the urge to blush along with Sun Ye at that comment.  I knew exactly what she was trying to get at there.  It was taking a lot of willpower to fight back those memories from coming to the surface.  There was going to be no stopping a blush if I thought any more about this subject.  Coughing lightly into my hand I tried to redirect the conversation. 

 

“I see you drank your coffee fairly quickly.  You must really have missed the American blends.”

 

Sun Ye gave me a knowing look and I realized that I hadn’t fooled her at all with my conversation change maneuver.  This girl knew me too well and I was getting far too comfortable with her.  I couldn’t let myself fall back into our old rhythms and… feelings.

 

“The American blends are so much stronger,” Sun Ye commented as she played along with my subject change.  “I can’t help but enjoy it.  Although right now I really just want to move on to the next letter.  You know, the one with my first kiss in it?  Ooo if you wrote about the first time we kissed then you probably also wrote about the first time we…”

 

The blush finally hit my face.  Dammit.  Sun Ye definitely won this round.  She knew it too judging from the giggling she was doing at my expense.  I reached down, picked up the next letter and tossed it full force so it hit her in the face.  That seemed to shut her up. 

 

“Ow!  America has obviously made you super violent.  I could have gotten a paper cut on my eye or something!”

 

I shrugged nonchalantly.  “Ooops my bad.  Must have slipped out of my hands.”

 

She just rolled her eyes at me in response and opened the envelope to the next letter.  She could be pissed all she liked.  I knew she would cheer up immediately after reading about our first real date.

 

 

==========

 

 

Turned out I was completely right about our lack of free time.  Our ‘Nobody’ promotional schedule was insane.  We had never campaigned for a song quite like this one.  Every single day was spent doing interviews, photo shoots, and television lives to the point where I thought we were all going to drop dead from sheer exhaustion.  I tried to think back to our promotions for ‘So Hot’ and I couldn’t remember them ever being quite this intense.  It was hard for all of us, but we knew we had to do our best.  JYP had been saying that he had some big news for us if we did particularly well with ‘Nobody.’ 

 

Throughout all of our hard weeks of work one thought kept me going:  my date with Sun Ye.  My ideas for it were always drifting there at the back of my mind while we worked onwards.  The seasons were changing and we were close to mid-October now.  The possibility of snow seemed to rule out a lot of outdoors activities.  I had thought about taking her to a club to see her dancing in that kind of environment, but it just seemed too risky.  We were definitely going to get spotted in a people filled place like a club and I wanted our first date to be a little more private than that.  Plus the thought of Sun Ye grinding up against me in a tiny, dimly lit club… Yeah my brain just ran right ahead with all the possibilities there.  I was trying not to rush things right? 

 

It would probably just be best if I waited until I found out when our first free day was going to be before I made any definite plans.  The final decision could be made then.  I always did say I liked surprises.  Maybe I could be totally spontaneous and even surprise myself with the date?

 

“Yubin.  Are you even listening to me?”

 

JYP’s deep voice brought me crashing back to the here and now.  Crap.  I had definitely been daydreaming in another scheduling meeting.  That seemed to happen all the time now.  What had he been talking about again?  Something about a Nobody live we were doing tomorrow night?  That seemed as good a guess as any.

 

“Yeah, all we have to do is be our usual charming selves tomorrow night at the live ‘Nobody’ performance.  And we should show up three hours early for makeup.”

 

He looked at me suspiciously for a second and I worried that I might have guessed wrong.  My fears vanished when he nodded slowly in my direction.

 

“Well done.  I need you all in hair and make up’s room at the studio three hours before the performance.  That will give them ample time to put on your wigs and give you time for a quick mic check before the live.”

 

I held myself back from sighing in relief at my lucky guess.  Sun Ye smirked visibly across the table at me.  She obviously had known that I had been daydreaming as well.  I flashed her a confidant smile and turned my attention back to our boss.

 

“I know you ladies have been working hard on the promotions for ‘Nobody’ and you have probably realized that we are no where near done with the single.  You have been conquering the charts and the year-end awards are right around the corner.  You need to stay focused on those and I am sure you will do great.  And as a reward for your hard work up to this point I have some great news for you girls.”

 

We all looked questioningly back at JYP.  I hadn’t heard any rumors about special rewards for us lately.  My sideward glance at Sun Ye revealed that she was just as confused as the rest of us.  Must be something big if he hadn’t even let the leader know in advance. 

 

“First of all, we will be doing a special live in one month of ‘Nobody’ using a Tango remix backtrack.  You girls will be instructed on how to tango and will be partnered up with five of the 2PM boys to do this special stage.  It should be fun for everyone and also works as good promotion for both your groups.”

 

Tango version of ‘Nobody,’ huh?  I was intrigued by the idea and the other girls looked equally excited.  Urgh but wait.  Didn’t that mean that one of those 2PM boys would be putting his grubby hands all over my Sun Ye?  Maybe I was slightly less okay with this plan than I had initially thought…

 

“And here is the second bit of news.  This one is especially exciting for you girls.  You all know that I have been spending a lot of time in New York lately to work with the JYPE offices in the United States.  I’ve made a lot of good deals with people in the music business and I think the time is right for your International debut.”

 

The silence that filled the room was palpable.  International debut…?  That meant…

 

“I know you girls have all been studying hard at your English lessons and it will be time to put that to the test.  You will finish up the year promoting ‘Nobody’ in Korea and then we are going to have you all move out to the JYPE offices in New York for a while.  It will be your chance to show America, and the world, what talent you have got.”

 

My heart was going a mile a minute.  New York City?  We had all had fun on our previous visit there during the summer, but now we were going to be living there for our US debut.  This was our chance to really make it as international pop stars.  I never thought that I would make it to this point so quickly.  My eyes shifted over to Sun Mi who looked like she was about to cry with joy.  This always had been her dream.  Now we were going to be living it. 

 

“I knew you would all enjoy that small piece of news,” JYP added with a smile.  “I figured I would save the best bit of news for last at this meeting.  We have basically covered everything, so you girls are free to head out to your interview with m.net now.”

 

We all continued to sit in shock as JYP stood up and moved towards the door to leave.  How could he just drop this news on us like it was nothing?  He had almost made it out the door before he turned around to talk to us once more.

 

“Oh and I almost forgot.  The Music Bank studios had a small electrical fire last night so your Monday live there has been postponed until they can fix all the equipment.  Enjoy your night off!”

 

He really did save the best news for last.  All thoughts and concerns about our sudden American debut were swept from my mind as I realized that I would be going out with Sun Ye within 48 hours.  I glanced across the table at her to see her reaction to this piece of news.  She was already looking at me with a slight smile on her face.  She definitely remembered my promise to her.  I smiled back at her to let her know that I hadn’t forgotten it either.  Monday, huh?  That was supposed to be the night of the first snowfall of winter.  I instantly knew what we were going to be doing on our first date.  My spontaneous ideas always were the best. 

 

Ye Eun stood up shakily from the table.

 

“I guess we should get going to that interview now.  The car should be outside waiting for us.  And look on the bright side, now we have Monday night free to talk to our families about our International debut!”

 

Sun Mi just nodded mutely.  she was clearly still in shock.  So Hee grabbed Sun Mi lightly on her arm and dragged her up to her feet.  Ye Eun moved to hold the door open for all of us as we headed out into the hallway.  Susne Ye took the lead and started to guide the sitll stunned Sun Mi and So Hee to the waiting van.  I held back a bit with Ye Eun by the door to the conference room.

 

“Hey can I ask you for a big favor?” I looked at Ye Eun with my best puppy dog eyes.

 

“Lemme guess.  This favor, does it involve our lovely Leader Min by chance?” she asked me with an amused look.

 

“Hey, our free time is practically nonexistent and I have a promise to keep with her.  Do you think you can keep Sun Mi and So Hee distracted while I take Sun Ye out Monday night?  I really don’t need them tagging along on this one.”

 

Ye Eun rolled her eyes at me. 

 

“Yeah my free time is precious too and I don’t exactly want to use it all doing little ‘missions’ for you so you can take your honey out in style.”

 

Ouch.  She definitely had me there.  I really had been relying too much on Ye Eun.  It really wasn’t fair to her at all.  All the same, Sun Ye and I needed this.  There would be time to apologize and grovel later.  I gave her a guilty, pleading look. 

 

“Alright,” she said with a wave of her hand.  “You are so lucky your sweetheart also happens to be my best friend.  Let’s just say I’m doing this as a favor for her.  But you still owe me!”

 

“Done and done,” I agreed.  “One day you are going to wake up and find your room absolutely filled with your favorite rice chips.”

 

We started walking down the hall together after the other Girls.

 

“Whoa now,” she grinned at me.  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Yubin!”

 

I thought of the date that I would be going on with Sun Ye in the near future. 

 

“I would never make a promise I couldn’t keep.”

 

Soon Sun Ye would be having the most romantic night of her entire life.

 

=========

 

It was such a long two days wait until the night when I could finally take Sun Ye out.  I thought for sure I was going to mess up on our performance Sunday night because I was so distracted.  Sun Ye apparently felt the same way.  She was just as unfocused as I was during those two days.  We had managed to make it through to Monday relatively unscathed and all we had to do was finish up a photo shoot before our night off could begin.

 

The photographer took the last few solo photographs he needed of me for the magazine article and then moved on to Sun Mi.  Taking my cue to exit, I started to head back to the dressing room to change into my street clothes.  I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice that Sun Ye had followed me back to the dressing room. 

 

“We haven’t had much time to talk about it, but I imagine you have everything worked out for tonight?”

 

I turned around in surprise at the sound of Sun Ye’s voice.  My hand reached over and found hers instinctively and I flashed her my trademark grin.

 

“Don’t worry about it.  I’ve got everything figured out.  It might not be as flashy as our last outing, but hopefully you will like it just the same.”

 

“Not as flashy,” she questioned with a quirked eyebrow.  “I’m not sure what that means.  Does that mean I shouldn’t dress up?  What exactly are we going to be doing?”

 

Like hell I was going to just tell her that easily.  I just squeezed her hand a little in a comforting fashion.

 

“As much as I like you Sun Ye, I would rather just keep this as a surprise.  It’ll be more fun that way.  And you have a photo shoot to get back to Miss Leader.”

 

Sun Ye looked really nervous about my decision to not tell her what we would be doing.  I was sure she would be able to live with another few hours of suspense.  I knew she enjoyed the spontaneous side of my personality anyway.  I slowly dragged my hand out of hers, not really wanting to let go, and headed back in the direction of the dressing room.  About halfway down the hallway I turned back towards her.  I could at least give her a hint, right?

 

“Oh and Sun Ye.  Dress warm tonight.”

 

This just caused Sun Ye to look even more confused and nervous and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I let myself into the dressing room.

 

==========

 

 

Sun Ye had headed right back into her room after we had gotten back from the photo shoot.  I could only assume she was in there throwing around her clothes trying to pick out an appropriate outfit for our ‘mystery’ date.  She stressed too much on the smallest things.  I knew she would look fine in whatever she chose to wear. 

 

The other girls had made themselves scarce thanks to Ye Eun’s quick thinking.  The second that girl had mentioned ‘accessory shopping’ the two younger girls had immediately followed her out the door to the shopping mall down the street.  This bought enough time for the two of us to sneak out and avoid being followed.  Hopefully I wouldn’t have to pull maneuvers with Ye Eun like this every time Sun Ye and I wanted some private time. 

 

I looked over myself one last time in the full-length mirror in my room.  We didn’t need to dress up where we were headed tonight so I had opted for a simple pair of jeans and a sweater.  It was supposed to be chilly tonight so I had thrown my green winter jacket and red scarf on as well.  Giving my hair one last once over I decided that I looked completely presentable for our date.  Now all that was left was to get my girlfriend. 

 

Sun Ye’s door to her room was still closed when I got to it.  I tapped my knuckles lightly on it to let her know that I was waiting.

 

“Come on Princess,” I called through the door.  “We have to dash before the kiddies get back and get suspicious.”

 

I could hear her crashing around the room in a last attempt to get ready.  After a few seconds the sounds died down and I knew she was all set for our night out.  I really should have been prepared mentally for her as she opened the door and showed me her outfit for our first date, but seeing her in person was always too much for me. 

 

She had also chosen a simple outfit too, just jeans and some layered shirts with her dark blue pea coat on top.  If it had been anyone else wearing it the outfit would have been unremarkable, but Sun Ye wore the whole ensemble with such style that I couldn’t help but have the breath knocked out of me.  Damn this girl had such an effect on me. 

 

“Well I guess I chose something in this outfit correctly…”

 

I licked my lips unconsciously and moved out of her doorway so she could walk with me.  God it was embarrassing to be caught staring like that. 

 

“U-Uh,” I mumbled.  “There is a taxi waiting outside for us, so we should probably hurry up.”

 

I gave her another once over.

 

“And grab your gray hat and scarf.  You’ll need them to keep you warm and they would look absolutely adorable on you right now.”

 

Sun Ye blushed lightly as she grabbed the items I mentioned out of the closet.  It was time for us to head out.  Finally.  I was fairly nervous about this.  What if she didn’t like my date idea as much as I did?  I mean, it seemed like a really sweet idea when I came up with it, but maybe I was just being silly.  Urgh too late to change plans now. 

 

I held the front door open for my girlfriend and we headed out into the stairwell that would lead us to the cab.  She locked the front door and waited for me slightly awkwardly.  How cute!  She was obviously just as nervous as I was.  I instinctively took her hand in mine.  It always seemed to calm her down when we were together now.  She smiled at me shyly and we walked down the stairs to the entranceway with the taxi.

 

“So Yubin…” Sun Ye asked me with a bit of humor in her voice.  “Did your plans for tonight factor in the blizzard that is apparently going on right now?”

 

Crap.  The taxi waiting outside already had about an inch of snow built up on its hood.  I knew it was supposed to snow for the first time tonight, but this was a little ridiculous.  I looked up at the clouds in the sky and it looked like they were thinning out slightly.  Hopefully it would blow over by the time we made it to our final destination. 

 

“Oh yeah,” I said as convincingly as I could.  “This will be totally fine.  Um.  Probably.”

 

Sun Ye just rolled her eyes at my weak statement and got into the taxi with me.  I reached into my pocket and pulled out a piece of paper with our goal location written on it and passed it over the front seat to the driver.  He looked at it briefly and silently nodded before starting up the car for our journey.

 

“Wow, so you aren’t even going to say our mysterious date destination out loud?  Talk about paranoid, Yubin.”

 

“Hey, I want it to be a surprise until the very end,” I said defensively.  “That way if you don’t like it you can’t run away…”

 

Sun Ye just looked down at our hands and smiled.  We hadn’t let go of each other since I had grabbed her hand in the hallway outside our apartment.  I doubted I would ever let go of her if I could help it.

 

“Well I don’t think you have to worry too much about me running away,” she whispered to me.

 

I grinned at her like a little kid and moved towards her on the back seat so that we were right next to each other.  Sun Ye closed the distance even more and leaned into me to place her head on my shoulder as we rode on through the snow.

 

==========

 

 

“Okay Yubin,” Sun Ye asked me lightheartedly, “It’s been over forty minutes now and we are almost completely outside of Seoul.  Are we any closer to our mysterious destination?”

 

I picked my head up from where it rested on top of Sun Ye’s and glanced out the window.  Judging from the scenery that was being lit up from the outside lamps I could tell that we were as close to my goal as we were going to get.  I rapped on the glass separating the back seat from the driver to get his attention.

 

“Excuse me, you can just let us out here.  Do you mind waiting here for a few hours?  We will be needing a ride back into Seoul again.”

 

The driver nodded quietly at me in response.  Good man.  He obviously never watched TV since he seemed to have no clue who we were at all, which was excellent cause we really didn’t need any of our date published in a tabloid.  I turned to Sun Ye with an excited look on my face.  It was time to show her my romantic date idea. 

 

“So… where are we right now?” Sun Ye asked me in a hushed voice, sensing my nervous excitement.

 

“Alright… well I’m not going to lie, when I was trying to come up with unique date ideas I was having a lot of trouble.  There were a million and a half things that I would love to do on a night out with you and it was hard to pick just one for our first night out as a couple.  Last time I dragged you out to do something that you’ve never done before so I figured maybe this time we should do something I’ve never done…”

 

I looked up at Sun Ye sheepishly.  Here goes…

 

“And um… I’ve never seen the beach in the winter.  I thought that might be a first experience that I could share with you…”

 

My arm reached across Sun Ye to open her door to the taxi.  The tiny street lamps that lined the isolated Korean beach reflected off the water and made the snow lining the shore glitter.  I could see Sun Ye’s eyes light up along with the snowdrifts as she stepped out of the car with me in tow.  I followed her pensively.  She seemed to like my idea a little bit at least.  Sun Ye looked out at the dark expanse of sea in front of us and I could hear her breath hitch in her chest. 

 

“Oh Yubin… It’s absolutely perfect,” she whispered.

 

All my nervous fears instantly dropped off of me and I let myself smile goofily.  I grabbed Sun Ye’s hand to lead her off into our snow-covered wonderland.  We kicked our way through some of the snowdrifts that had built up.  Over the hour or so it had snowed the fluff had built up to several inches on the ground.  Sun Ye giggled as I kicked a particularly large snowdrift and caused it to explode in front of us.  We continued to run through the snow until we made it right up to the shoreline and walked along the water’s edge. 

 

There wasn’t any need for words right now.  We simply walked hand in hand with the dark expanse of sea on one side and the snowy landscape on the other.  Our footprints carved a winding path through the otherwise pristine snow.  Obviously no one else had felt the need to go to the beach in the middle of the first snow of the season.  Which only made it more perfect.  It was just my Princess and I in our own special little world. 

 

I squeezed Sun Ye’s hand tighter and lead her towards a little bench that was set up overlooking the sea in front of us.  It was terribly cold on my hands, but I wiped off the snow from the bench so she wouldn’t get wet when she sat down.  Sun Ye just giggled at me.

 

“You brought a scarf, but not gloves.  A terribly fashion conscious, but impractical decision, Yubin.”

 

I just glared at her jokingly as we sat down.

 

“Wow you are such a mood killer, girl.  You keep making fun of me and I’ll just take the taxi home and leave you here.”

 

She just smiled at me, knowing that the threat was totally unrealistic.  Deep down I think she secretly enjoyed our sassy banter that we had between us.  My comment only made her wrap her hand tighter around mine and she shuffled closer to me on the bench so that we were able to lean lightly against each other.

 

“So this is the sort of date that normal couples would go on?  Moonlight, snow-covered beach trips?” she teased lightly.

 

“Hardly true judging from the complete lack of people around right now,” I whispered back to her.  “But I’ve only been on a few ‘normal’ dates myself, so I’m probably not the best person to ask.”

 

I could see Sun Ye’s bottom lip jut out slightly as she pouted at me.  Mentioning my previous dates probably wasn’t the best move I could have made. 

 

“So you take all your lady friends to the beach then?  And here I thought I was special.”

 

Obviously Sun Ye was just messing with me, but I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.  I turned on the bench to face her better and flashed her a confidant smile.  That always won her over.

 

“This is my A-list material.  Most of my other conquests went weak at the knees just from whispering sexy things in their ears,” I joked with her.  “You are making me actually work for everything.  It’s really draining.”

 

Sun Ye started to pout back at me, but stopped short as a single snowflake drifted down from the sky and landed on her cheek.  We both looked up at the sky to see that the snow was starting up again.  There was something incredibly romantic about being here in this perfect winter wonderland during the first snowfall of the season.  I turned back to Sun Ye and started lightly brushing the snow off of her perfect face.  She blushed in response and looked back into my eyes with an intense look. 

 

“So on a normal date… This is where you would lean in and kiss me right?” she whispered quietly.

 

That was all the permission I needed.  I leaned forward towards Sun Ye at the same time she tilted her head.  I slowed slightly as I got closer and our lips lightly grazed each other at first.  As I realized that Sun Ye wasn’t going to shy away from my touch I pressed even further into the kiss.  Her feather-soft lips moved slightly against mine and I felt as though I might pass out from the feeling.  How could I have said no to doing this with Sun Ye earlier?  Nothing had ever felt quite this perfect before in my entire life. 

 

I grazed Sun Ye’s bottom lip slightly with my teeth as I pulled away.  The kiss had obviously left both of us quite breathless.  In fact my brain seemed to be having trouble remembering how to breathe in general.  It somehow involved air… and my lungs… and Sun Ye’s rosy lips… and goddamn. 

 

Sun Ye looked just as dazed as I did.  Her eyes had clouded over slightly and a lovely blush covered her entire face.

 

“Um,” she managed to stutter out.  “Wow… that was…”

 

I looked at her hopefully. 

 

“Would it be wishful thinking to say that it was utterly perfect?”

 

She shook her head emphatically at my statement. 

 

“It was definitely… perfect.  Um… thank you for making this moment so special, Yubin.”

 

There was nothing I could do but grin wholeheartedly at her response.  Perfect.  I would do all I could to make every day absolutely amazing as this one for the woman in front of me.  Unfortunately our time was running short for tonight.  I reached my hand out to Sun Ye’s and helped her to her feet.

 

“I’m glad that you had a good time tonight.  But I think we should probably head back to the taxi now.  We don’t want to get left behind.”

 

She nodded at me and fell into step behind me as I lead the way back to the waiting car.  We walked along quietly for a while, but it just didn’t seem right.  I couldn’t help but feel that I needed to be holding Sun Ye’s hand.  Just as I turned to Sun Ye to offer her my hand I was stopped cold in my tracks.  Ice cold.  Right in my face.

 

I wiped the snow out of my eyes and glared at the guilty looking Sun Ye. 

 

“You did NOT just throw a snowball at your totally innocent girlfriend.”

 

Sun Ye weakly kicked a snowdrift with the tip of her boot. 

 

“I wouldn’t know what you are talking about,” she mumbled with a smirk.

 

Oh two could play at this game.  Without a second thought I tackled my smirking girlfriend right into a large pile of snow.  She giggled uncontrollably as I pushed her down into the snow and swatted it right into her face.  Once she had recovered from the initial shock of my retaliation she pushed up against me and flipped me onto my back in the snow to give me a taste of my own medicine.  I laughed as she tried to shovel snow on top of me to bury me in the white fluff.  This was just going to keep escalating if I didn’t put a stop to this.  So I did the first thing that came to mind.

 

I reached up and linked my hands behind my Princess’s neck and pulled her down to me for a kiss.  She instantly relaxed in my arms as our lips met for the second time.  Was kissing always this good?  Touching Sun Ye like this seemed to wipe all past experiences out of my memory.  Sun Ye moved her lips against mine in perfect rhythm as we lay in the drift with snow falling all around us. 

 

Eventually I pulled away. 

 

“I hate to end this, but if we lay in this snowdrift any longer we might be at risk for hypothermia.”

 

Sun Ye managed a dazed nod before she lifted herself off of me.  We dusted ourselves off and headed the rest of the way back to the waiting taxi.  I held the door open for my Princess and we spent the rest of the car ride back to the apartment with our hands intertwined. 

 

 ==========

 

 

 _10/13/08_

 _To my perfect Sun Ye,_

 _Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be more amazing you surprise me yet again.  Our trip to the beach was fantastic.  I was extremely worried that you wouldn’t enjoy it.  It wasn’t like I was spending a lot of money taking you out on the town, but I really wanted to go somewhere peaceful where we could be alone away from the prying eyes of the public.  And when I heard that the first snowfall of the season would be on the night of our date I just knew I had to do something outside for that.  It was an inspiration that suddenly struck me to take you to the beach.  It just seemed like it was the only thing that would be beautiful and isolated enough to share with you on our first real night as a couple.  You seemed to enjoy it as much as I did at least._

 _And to make things even more perfect… our first kiss.  To be honest, I really don’t know what I expected it to be like, but it definitely wasn’t that.  What we shared there on the moonlight beach was so absolutely… right.  I’ve never kissed someone and felt that way before.  It was like everything else I had experienced in my life had just been leading up to that moment, that second when everything would be complete.  I’m not really sure what that means… All I know right now is that I can’t possibly exist without your touch anymore.  In fact I’m contemplating sneaking over to your room right now.  I’ll hold off for tonight because you are probably exhausted from our long night out, but that won’t stop me in the future.  I might have to sneak into your room every night just to get a daily dose of you._

 _Do I make you half as crazy as you make me?  I can only hope that I do.  Sometimes when I look into your eyes I feel like I can see my own feelings reflected inside them.  Should I admit to you my addiction to your touch?  Would you tell me if you felt the same way?  Just when I feel like we are stepping forward in our relationship there are other things holding me back.  I’m still scared that this is all moving too fast for you.  I don’t want to do anything to frighten you away.  I wouldn’t be able to live with that at this point.  So I guess for now I will keep all of these emotions to myself until I know for sure that you are capable of accepting them._

 _I guess we will be entering another tough spot in our Wonder Girls’ career as well.  America, huh?  I kinda forgot about it for a bit.  All I could think of was going out with you.  Now I suppose we are going to have to focus on our US debut.  I never thought that we would come this far this quickly.  Will you have time to think about ‘us’?  I know I’ll spend every free moment I have thinking about you.  Our schedule is going to make things tricky though… It never seems like we have enough time to just be ourselves._

 _Urgh.  I just realized that we sent Ye Eun out into a blizzard with the crazy kids.  Crap.  I didn’t check on them before sitting down to write this letter.  I hope they made it home okay and didn’t get snowed into some store.  I’m sure I’ll get an earful from Ye Eun in the morning about this._

 _But thinking about our kiss… It’ll make the lecture from Ye Eun totally worth it._

 _-your blissfully happy girlfriend Yubin_

 

 

==========

 

 

Omake:

 

Ye Eun had just had the worst day at work ever.  First she had to convince So Hee that she wasn’t allowed to glare during her interview because it in fact terrified the interviewer and was not an appropriate ‘sexy look.’  Sun Mi was determined to run around the set causing her usual amounts of havoc and had decided to switch all the colored cables on the recording machines so they went in exact rainbow color order.  And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Sun Ye and Yubin had simply disappeared on break only to come back 30 minutes late and completely disheveled.  She had a nagging suspicion that they had snuck off to the janitor’s closet to make out.  Our at least she hoped that was all they were doing…

 

She sighed at the door to her room.  At least she could just fall asleep and start all over again tomorrow.  Ye Eun turned the doorknob to her room and tried to push the door open only to have it met by some sort of force from the other side of the door.  She frowned slightly.  Had she left some clothes next to the door that would block it?  It didn’t seem possible, as she was never messy to the point where she couldn’t enter her own room.  Ye Eun pushed a little harder and managed to get the door to open slightly.  Her body froze up as she gazed over the contents of what had been her simple neat bedroom this morning.

 

The entire floor was covered knee high in bags of her favorite kind of rice chips. 

 

Ye Eun let her jaw drop in shock as she waded through the snacks covering the floor over to her bed.  She bent down and picked up the white piece of notepaper that was resting there.  Obviously the person who had filled her room with such delights had left a letter of some sort.

 

 _“I always keep my promises.”_

 

Ye Eun could feel her eyes starting to fill up with tears of happiness.  She just couldn’t hold in all her joy at the laughable situation she had found in her room.

 

“I LOVE YOU KIM YUBIN!!”  Ye Eun yelled as loudly as she could manage.

 

“Um excuse me, what did you just say?”

 

Ye Eun turned around to see a not too amused Sun Ye standing in her doorway with her arms crossed.  Hmmm that probably wasn’t a declaration she should have shouted to the high heavens was it?  She was going to be in for a long night of lectures from her best friend now. 

 

At least she would have plenty of snacks to eat during it.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9:  Darkness Brings the Secrets out of Me

 

Yup.  She was definitely reading the letter about our first date.  Every time she thought about one of those really sweet, romantic moments with me she would get the same soft smile and sparkling look in her eyes.  Not that I was noticing small things like that right now.  Cause I definitely wasn’t.  Okay that was a blatant lie.  But I really _shouldn’t_ have been looking that closely at her. 

 

“Do I make you half as crazy as you make me…” she read quietly out loud. 

 

Urgh.  I hadn’t looked at some of those letters in so long that I had completely forgotten what I had written about besides the date.  I really did have the tendency to wax poetic didn’t I?  But not in the good way, just in an emo-teenager, fluffy-nonsense sort of way. 

 

I wasn’t sure exactly what to say to her reading that passage out loud to me, so I simply waited for her to continue after she folded the letter up and put it back in its envelope.  Sun Ye looked up and smiled at me comfortingly.  She obviously had sensed my unease over her dramatic reading.

 

“You never said any of these things out loud to me.  You would say little things that would lead me to guess you had such thoughts back then… but nothing this… um verbose?”

 

I shrugged my shoulders and acted like her comment meant nothing to me. 

 

“I’ve always been the person who lets her actions speak for her, not her words.  Doesn’t mean I didn’t think everything, every moment of our relationship, through.”

 

“Oh don’t get me wrong I liked your actions too,” Sun Ye countered with a smirk.  “But I would’ve liked to hear some of these things too.  You always treated me like glass, like I would break if you ever pressed me too hard.  If you had just mentioned how deeply you felt… You would have just found out that I was feeling the same way.”

 

Was she trying to make me feel pathetic?  Filled with regret?  Like hell I was going to admit any sort of emotions like that to her now.  If I didn’t tell her my innermost thoughts constantly when we were dating I certainly wasn’t going to start now.  I narrowed my eyes slightly to let her know I was unimpressed by her statement.

 

“Eh.  The past is the past.  Can’t do much to change that now.”

 

I hoped she would take the double hint I dropped there.  She should drop the guilt trip she was trying to pull on me for my past actions.  And most definitely she should stop trying to subtly flirt with me.  We broke up years ago.  Our relationship was in the past and it was time to move on.  That was why we were both here, right?  Although the more time I spent in this coffee shop with Sun Ye the more I thought that she had a different end goal from me all together. 

 

Sun Ye looked at me with an appraising stare as she tried to decipher what I had meant by that statement.  Crap.  Was I being rude?  I didn’t want her to run away, just back off a little.  She shouldn’t be afraid that I didn’t want to be here with her. 

 

And here I was thinking about how I didn’t want to scare her away.  Again.  Sun Ye was right, wasn’t that what I always did with her?  I guess I had lied when I told her the past didn’t repeat itself.  And if the past was just going to repeat itself, was I just going to fall for her… again?  Oh no, this was a bad line of thought.  How was I going to be able to sit through all of these letters if the more time I spent with her the more I missed her? 

 

Apparently Sun Ye decided that my heart wasn’t really in what I had said to her and just smiled her knowing smile at me.  Damn her and her ability to make me feel totally weak and helpless.  I couldn’t help but smile back at her.  She glanced down at the pile of letters she had yet to read and fingered the next one on the stack. 

 

“Hmmm I seem to be about half way through now.  Yet we only just went on our first date according to the letters.  So that means you stopped writing to me as often as you were.  What could have gotten you so terribly distracted?”

 

She gave me a smirk that said she knew exactly who had me so distracted.  Like I would give Sun Ye the satisfaction of admitting it was her. 

 

“You know how busy we were back then,” I rolled my eyes mockingly at her.  “All that promotion for ‘Nobody’ followed by the prep work for the American debut.  Our schedule was so hectic that I just didn’t have the time at night to write anymore.”

 

“Yeah cause you were so busy _sleeping_ at night, right?”

 

My jaw dropped slightly.  When had my Sun Ye gotten so… so… snarky?  And sexual?  I couldn’t help but hope that it was a result of being with me and not with her stupid lineup of boyfriends she’d had for the past several years.  Just thinking about them running their grimy hands all over her…

 

“So I guess I better slow down and savor each individual letter a little more.  Since you didn’t have time to write regularly to your adorable girlfriend.”

 

Her announcement broke me out of my totally inappropriate thoughts.  She didn’t seem to notice how distracted I was though and proceeded to open the next letter and read unbearably slowly through its contents.

 

 ==========

 

 

“Are you done with your dishes, Yubin?”

 

Sun Ye looked at me questioningly as she reached for my dinner plate.  I nodded and handed my leftovers to her.  Sun Ye had been her usual motherly self and cooked dinner for all of us.  So Hee, Sun Mi, and Ye Eun had already finished and moved into the living room for our nightly TV watching.  We always tried to spend at least half an hour together after eating and before bed just winding down.  It was nice to have a little bit of time when we weren’t under the pressure of being the Wonder Girls. 

 

I joined Sun Ye up at the edge of the sink in the kitchen to help wash the dishes.  Rolling up my sleeves I plunged my hands in the water and scrubbed off one of the dirty plates. 

 

“You don’t have to help me wash the dishes.  Why don’t you go relax with the other girls?”  Sun Ye suggested.

 

“And abandon a beautiful lady with these dirty chores?  Hardly!”

 

Sun Ye blushed lightly and shuffled a little closer to me at the sink.  I allowed my arm to graze by hers as I cleaned the dishes.  Due to ‘Nobody’ promotions we didn’t have a lot of time right now to go out officially on dates.  Even little moments like this were precious.  We both had to make the most of the time we had together. 

 

“I’m going to go take my shower now,” Sun Ye said as she dried the last dish.  “Um, I’ll see you in a bit right?”

 

I shot Sun Ye my most charming smile and traced my fingers down her arm to hold her hand.     

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

We both walked out towards the living room.  I let my hand slide out of Sun Ye’s inconspicuously as we neared the other Girls.  She branched off down the hallway to the bathroom so she could take her nightly shower.  All the rest of us preferred to shower as soon as we got back from work, but Sun Ye always liked to wait until after she had finished making dinner due to ‘food mess’ as she proclaimed it.  I smiled at her retreating form as I took my place near Ye Eun on the couch. 

 

“Have fun with those dishes in there?” Ye Eun asked me cheekily, knowing exactly what Sun Ye and I ended up doing together in the kitchen sometimes.

 

“I always do,” I answered with a smirk.  “I’ve always been really good at housework.”

 

Ye Eun just rolled her eyes at me and turned back to the television.  So Hee and Sun Mi were already engrossed in the celebrity talk show.  We usually ended up watching shows like this, especially when Sun Mi found out that SNSD was going to be on them.  I hardly ever paid attention to them.  I just sat on the couch and listened for the sound of Sun Ye’s shower to stop. 

 

After our date a few weeks ago we had slowly been spending more and more time together.  I knew that it would be kinda harsh on both our sleeping schedules, but after our first kiss I think both of us realized that we couldn’t bear to simply wait for our next free moment in our schedule to spend quality time together.  Almost every night after everyone left our group time in the living room to go to bed, I would sneak into Sun Ye’s room.  Our activities varied from night to night.  Sometimes we would just talk about little things; our childhood, families, bits of our past or selves that the other didn’t know about.  Other times we wouldn’t talk at all; we just cuddled on her bed reveling in the soft touches we offered each other.  Needless to say, our nightly rendezvous had quickly become my favorite part of the day. 

 

I could hear the shower click off and water stop running from my position on the couch.  My heart picked up its pace instinctively at the thought of getting to see Sun Ye again.  It had only been one night since I had been truly alone with her, but it felt like so much longer than that.  Her footsteps echoed in the hallway as she slipped back into her room to change for bed.  I tried to calm my racing pulse.  It would only be a few minutes now. 

 

Ye Eun picked up the remote and clicked the television off for the night. 

 

“Okay kiddies it’s time for bed.  You have school and work in the morning!”

 

“Ahhh!” Sun Mi shouted at the blank screen loudly.  “But they just got the interview with Yuri!  I’d been waiting for that all night!”

 

“Too bad, guess you’ll have to catch it online tomorrow then,” I said with a mocking grin.  Usually I wouldn’t be so mean to Sun Mi, but I was in serious Sun Ye withdrawal and the sooner the girl was in bed the sooner I would get to sneak off to the Leader’s bedroom.

 

Sun Mi jumped to her feet with an angry look on her face. 

 

“Whatever, It’s not like you can stop me from watching it in my own room!”

 

With a flick of her long hair Sun Mi stomped off to her bedroom.  That girl sure knew how to make a dramatic exit.  Ye Eun shrugged her shoulders.  She had at least tried to get the girl to bed on time.  It was obvious she had no further plans to make the girl get a good night’s rest and she slowly headed off to her own bedroom as well. 

 

Finally.  It was time to me to go meet up with my Princess.  I couldn’t help but grin goofily as I headed down the hallway to Sun Ye’s room.  Right when I was about to open her door when I heard someone behind me. 

 

“What are you and Sun Ye up to this late at night?”

 

Crap.  I froze mid-reach to the doorknob.  I had totally forgotten that So Hee was walking behind me in the hallway.  Time for some fast thinking.

 

“Um yeah,” I adlibbed quickly.  “I was a little confused in one of my classes and Sun Ye said she would help tutor me.  You know what a good student she is, I figured she would be able to teach me.”

 

So Hee raised her eyebrow at me suspiciously as she leaned against the wall. 

 

“Is that so?  You must be _really_ bad at that class.  I think you said last week that you were going to get tutoring help from Sun Ye, too.”

 

Crap.  Did I really use that excuse already?  Damn it.  So Hee had too good a memory. 

 

“Hey, the ‘Nobody’ schedule has been hard on all of us,” I said defensively.  “I don’t make fun of you and your school stuff.  Besides I’m in college and it’s a whole different level from your high school class work.”

 

So Hee pushed off the wall and brushed by me into her room.

 

“Whatever you say idiot,” she joked as she shut her door.

 

Urgh.  What a brat.  A brat who seemed to know a little too much about Leader Min and me.  I was going to have to think up some more excuses obviously.  But now was not the time to worry about that.  Now was the time to meet up with my patiently waiting girlfriend.

 

I opened the door slowly and slipped into her room.  We had long gotten past the need for knocking.  As soon as the door had clicked closed I could feel Sun Ye press up against me in the dark. 

 

“What took you so long?” she whispered sexily in my ear.

 

Shivers ran up and down my spine at the tone of her voice.  God this girl could drive me up the wall with just a few words.  Of course the fact that I could feel her whole body pressed against mine wasn’t hurting at all either. 

 

“Funny thing happened on the way to your bedroom,” I managed to say despite my distractions.  “I met So Hee out there and she wanted to know why I was having a late night meet-up with you.”

 

 

“Oh um, what did you tell her?” she asked nervously.

 

This was definitely a danger zone with Sun Ye.  She needed to get calmed down before she freaked out about the idea of ‘us’ again.  I moved over toward the bed and sat down next to her.  With a nudge I coaxed her to lie down next to me, side by side. 

 

“Don’t worry about it,” I said in my commanding, confident tone.  “I told her that you were going to tutor me because I was having trouble in one of my classes.”

 

Sun Ye turned her head on the pillow toward me and shot me a confused look.

 

“Didn’t you use that excuse last week?”

 

“Yeah.  Funny, she said the same thing…”

 

Her hand flew out to hit me in my side in the dark. 

 

“I can’t believe you!” she scolded.  “Do you take this seriously at all?  You are so bad at sneaking around…”

 

I flipped on my side so that I could fully face Sun Ye.  She mirrored my motion and it gave me a good chance to look into her eyes.  I could see her waiting patiently for my response.

 

“Why are you so worried that our own friends know about us?” I asked her quietly.  “You are happy with me right?  Shouldn’t you want your friends to know what is the cause of your persistent good mood now?”

 

This made Sun Ye look worried instantly.  I was definitely calling her out on something major.  But I didn’t want this issue constantly hanging between us.

 

“Of course I’m not ashamed of you,” Sun Ye said comfortingly.  “It’s just… I don’t want them to know just yet.  Sun Mi is a little… talkative sometimes.  Can’t you just see her spacing out in an interview and then spilling the beans about us?  We’ve worked so hard for everything we have right now and I don’t want a scandal to ruin all of that.”

 

The answer disappointed me just a little.  She really was scared of people knowing about us as a couple.  She would rather keep everything a secret when all I wanted to do was get on the rooftop and yell to the world that Sun Ye was my girlfriend.  I think Sun Ye could see my sadness even in the dark.  She scooted closer to me on the bed so she could wrap her arms comfortingly around me. 

 

“One day we will be able to tell everyone about us.  Once the pressure on us as a group dies down a little bit.  I can’t promise that it will be soon.  Just wait patiently for me to be ready okay?” she whispered into my ear. 

 

I knew the second she touched me that I couldn’t stay mad at her.  My worries about her acceptance of our relationship just rolled off of me as I relaxed into her embrace.  All I needed to do was wait for her.  I could manage that.  Plus I still had the girl of my dreams in my arms so it couldn’t be that bad right?

 

“So I guess that makes me the Great Leader Min’s weakness, huh?”  I joked at her.

 

She smiled at me happily in the dark. 

 

“Well of course the mighty rapper Yubin wouldn’t have such an obvious weakness would she?” she teased me.

 

I rolled over onto my back.  Weaknesses, huh?  I knew exactly what my big weakness was.  It was something that I worried about constantly.  In the back of my mind I knew it was a silly fear, but it still bothered me on a regular basis.  You couldn’t become a superstar without developing some fairly irrational fears.  Question was, did I want to open up to Sun Ye and let her see my soft underbelly like that? 

 

“I’m actually really scared about our US debut.”

 

That wasn’t what I had meant to say.  It was still true, but it wasn’t my big fear.  Guess I had to roll with it now. 

 

“Really?” Sun Ye asked me with a worried look.  “I would have thought that you would be the most comfortable with it.”

 

“And that is exactly the problem.  I feel like a lot of people are putting these big expectations on me for the American market since I lived in California.  But I wasn’t even there that long and… My English is so out of practice and… I dunno.  I feel like I’m just going to be a big failure.”

 

I could feel Sun Ye watching me in the dark carefully.  She obviously didn’t believe my confession.  Not entirely.  Sun Ye definitely knew me too well at this point for me to be able to fool her completely.  With a sigh I turned back to fully face her and my fears.

 

“Okay so that isn’t the whole story.  I mean I am really nervous about the US debut, but… Truth is… I’m more worried that I will never really fit in with all the Wonder Girls.”

 

Sun Ye looked at me with a look of utter confusion.

 

“What do you mean by that?” she asked quietly.

 

“Um well you guys had your own little crew that you formed with HyunA,” I stumbled to explain.  “You spent so much time training together and then I just showed up.  So Hee and Sun Mi bonded with each other automatically and Ye Eun and you are best friends and I… I just sort of sit and wait to be included.  I’ll always sort of be Yubin, that last girl who joined the Wonder Girls… Hyun A’s replacement.  It’ll shadow me forever.”

 

She reached out to put her hand on my shoulder.  I relaxed into her touch and let her stroke my arm.

 

“You can’t listen to everything you hear, Yubin.  I know people online were really harsh on you when you first joined up with us, but that was years ago.  No one cares about that anymore.  You’ve really and truly become one of us.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

It felt good to admit my worries to someone and have them tell me that, especially when that someone was Sun Ye.  A weight had definitely been lifted off of my shoulders.  So I guess having a girlfriend wasn’t all about getting some late night action, sometimes it was nice to be able to have these deep conversations with someone.  But the action wasn’t all bad either…

 

I reached my arm behind Sun Ye and pulled her closer to me on the bed.  Her face darkened visibly in the shadows of the bedroom as she blushed at my touch.  I would never get tired of seeing that.  My pulse sped up as I leaned in and took her lips in mine.  She pushed herself even further into my embrace.  Her encouragement made me bold and I attempted to deepen the kiss.  My tongue ran along the line of her lips, silently asking for entrance.  Sun Ye opened her mouth slowly and tilted her head to allow me better access.  I traced along the tip of her tongue with my own experimentally. 

 

Sun Ye had never let me go this far with her before.  She kept insisting that we take things slow.  Our mutual openness seemed to have inspired her to allow this next step.  And I couldn’t possibly be happier.  Her mouth tasted slightly of the peppermint toothpaste she had used in the bathroom earlier.  How utterly perfect…  As our kiss deepened my fingers started to trail down her sides lightly and trace patterns on the outside of her top.  Everything seemed to be going smoothly, but she broke apart from me as soon as I moved towards the hem on her shirt. 

 

“Not yet, Yubin,” she breathed heavily. 

 

Her whole face was flushed and the deep kiss had obviously left her breathless.  I moved my face from her mouth down to the side of her jaw and kissed a trail down her throat to her shoulder.  She trembled as I finally pulled back from her.  Although all I wanted to do was stay on the bed with her all night I knew it was time for me to head back to my own room for the night. 

 

“Well I guess I’ll leave you with that for tonight,” I said huskily.

 

It scared me how sensual my own voice sounded in that dark room.  I heard Sun Ye let out a shuddering breath at my tone. 

 

“Um yeah, that would probably be for the best…” she whispered.

 

I silently opened the door to her room and slipped back out into the hallway.

 

 ===========

 

 

 _11/08/08_

 _My precious Sun Ye,_

 _I wasn’t planning on writing a letter to you tonight at all.  But after leaving your room tonight… I didn’t think it would be wise for me to go to bed feeling like that.  It would be like inviting all sorts of wild dreams to come to me in the night.  Our little late night rendezvous visits have always been exhilarating, but usually not in the touchy-feely sort of way.  My pulse is still racing from our kiss and I can still taste you on my lips.  Okay I’m not going to write about this any longer.  If I think about it any more I will probably end up just charging next door into your room again and…_

Anyway, I feel really happy that I have you as a confidant now.  We may have moved onto the next level of our relationship on a physical level, but we also moved on in our intellectual level as well.  What I told you tonight… I haven’t told anyone that before in my entire life.  I think you realized that when you saw how nervous I was.  Those are fears that I have kept closely guarded in my heart for a while now, especially about the isolation in the Wonder Girls.  Your words really helped to calm my worries.  It’s not like what you said was special in any way, they were all things I tried to tell myself on dark nights to try and comfort my fears.  But to hear them from an outside source, from you, made them seem totally different and true.  I can’t let the thoughts of netizens rule over me and influence my mood. 

 _By the same standard though you should follow your own advice.  You shouldn’t worry so much about what people would think about the two of us being together.  Of course there will be backlash when everyone finds out, but are you really going to let that ruin your life?  You just convinced me not to let it ruin mine.  Maybe I should point out to you that you should take your own advice.  I know in the end that I won’t push it though.  I always just follow your lead in this relationship of ours.  If I followed my own path I would still be in the bedroom with you, tracing my fingers over your taut stomach, kissing my way down your neck, and…_

 _Dammit.  How am I supposed to go to bed now?  Maybe I’ll go take another shower to cool down.  Don’t think that I won’t pick up tomorrow night where we left off tonight.  Cause I totally will._

 _\- your newly confident Yubin_

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10:  It Only Takes You and Me to Tango

As Sun Ye continued to slowly read the letter I stood up from the table and stretched my legs.  We had been sitting in the café for far too long and it felt nice to move around a little bit.  Glancing at my ex-girlfriend I could see her eyes drifting over the lines of the letter painfully slowly.  She really was drawing this out as much as possible.  I was starting to feel really awkward watching her.  The more I waited and studied her through her letter readings the more I noticed little things. 

 

She had changed a lot in the years apart.  At first I had thought that the only major changes were in haircut and her darker, sadder eyes.  After my closer inspections I saw a few more subtle differences.  She had definitely lost some weight, which was crazy since she was incredibly skinny back when we were in Wonder Girls together.  It wasn’t that she was sickly thin now either, but she had lost all traces of baby fat from her face and limbs so that she had a much more angular, adult beauty about her. 

 

She also seemed to be trying very hard to cover up how tired she felt.  Despite the fact that she seemed to have endless energy to flirt and torment me, she couldn’t hide the light shadows around her eyes.  It was reasonable; she was working harder than ever in Korea due to her solo career popularity.  Not to mention the time difference between here and Seoul… there was no way she wasn’t jetlagged.  She had tried to cover up the worst of the shadows with some concealer and had trace amounts of make up on.  It wasn’t like there were fans walking the streets of New York who would recognize her, so why bother?  The conceited part of my mind whispered that it was all to impress me. 

 

I shook off all my thoughts of Sun Ye and her feminine whiles and walked over to the coffee counter.  Might as well make myself useful and get some drinks for the two of us.  My adoring fan behind the counter seemed thrilled at my decision.  His eyes lit up as I leaned against the counter and looked at the drink menu. 

 

“Um… I could make you something special,” he stuttered out nervously.  “I have a really nice pomegranate tea that I could make.  You won’t find that on the official menu.”

 

The kid was trying so hard to impress me it was kind of cute.  And a pomegranate tea did sound nice.

 

“That would be great,” I said in English with a small smile.

 

“Would your friend like some too?”

 

“No,” I said with a chuckle.  “I think she might go to sleep if she doesn’t have some more coffee.  She just flew in from Korea recently and I think she could use the caffeine to get over the jetlag.  So you better make her coffee as strong as possible.”

 

 He turned around to the various machines and went to work preparing both of our drinks.

 

“So your friend… Is she one of the girls you used to be in that pop group with back in the day?” his face scrunched up as he tried to remember something.  “The uh… Wonder Women or something?”

 

“The Wonder Girls,” I corrected him.  I could feel a tight pinch in my heart as I realized that in America it wasn’t a group commonly remembered.  “And yeah, she used to be in the group.  She was the leader actually.”

 

“Really?  I always just assumed that you were the leader.”

 

I grinned a little at that.  No matter how big a fan of mine he was it didn’t change the fact that my Korean pop past wasn’t publicized for my US career.  Sequined dresses and high heels didn’t exactly buy you a lot of street cred.  I was impressed that this guy knew as much as he did.  He must have been a bigger fan than I gave him credit for initially. 

 

He turned back around and handed me our two hot drinks.

 

“Let me know how you like the tea,” he said with a blush.  “My friends would make fun of me a lot less if they knew my ‘wussy’ tea was enjoyed by their rapper idol Yubin.”

 

“Can do,” I replied with my award winning grin.

 

Grabbing the two cups I headed back to the table to see that Sun Ye had long finished the letter and had been watching me from across the café. 

 

“What were the two of you so happily talking about,” she asked pensively.

 

Whoa.  What was that?  Jealousy?  Her eyes narrowed as I sat down and pushed the drink towards her, taking an excessively long time to answer her question.

 

“He was under the impression that I was meeting one of my old underlings from that ‘Wonder Women’ group.”

 

“Underling?!”

 

“Yeah, I think a lot of my American fans are under the impression that I was the leader of the Wonder Girls,” I said with a shrug.

 

“I’m sure you do nothing to correct the rumor,” she said with a wry smile.

 

I took a sip out of my teacup and pretended to be engrossed in its contents.  She could think what she wanted. 

 

Sun Ye sighed huffily at my evasive response and picked up the letter she had just finished. 

 

“This letter, Yubin… About all our insecurities…”

 

My teacup clattered down onto the table, startling Sun Ye with its noise. 

 

“Not now Sun Ye,” I said with an icy stare.  “Its not one of the subjects that is open for discussion at this little get-together.  Just drink your coffee and move on for now.  Okay?”

 

She seemed a little surprised at my sudden standoffish manner, but she could probably tell that I _really_ didn’t want to talk about this right now.  Or ever.  Her lips tautened into a thin line and I could see that she was really worried about my outburst.  I hadn’t meant to be that… vocal… about it.  Hopefully my temper didn’t completely kill the mood for the rest our meeting. 

 

After taking a few seconds to compose herself, Sun Ye reached out and opened the next letter.  I knew I should take the time she took to slowly read the new letter to calm my shattered nerves.

 

 ==========

 

 

Despite being informed of the ‘Nobody’ Tango performance far in advance by JYP we didn’t have a chance to actually practice until just a few days before the special stage.  We were always busy with our various promotional activities and 2PM was still occupied with their debut.  It was almost like our schedule makers had forgotten about the performance all together and had booked us so that we would never have free periods that matched up.  In the end, we only had about four days for us to learn how to tango, memorize the moves with 2PM, and then synchronize.  And judging from our current clumsy efforts we were going to need every minute of those four days to make this live remotely passable. 

 

“No Sun Mi!  You have to kick your foot higher on the opening steps.  It has to be at knee level for the most impact!”

 

Sun Ye’s scolding criticism only made the younger girl stick her tongue out in response. 

 

“My foot hurts!  I can’t kick that high today,” Sun Mi sniffled dramatically.  “I may never be able to dance again…”

 

“Hah!  If you hadn’t chased that frog into the puddle you wouldn’t have slipped and hurt your ankle in the first place,” I scoffed at her.

 

Sun Ye shook her head sadly at the memory of Sun Mi’s pointless accident.  It would have been funny if we didn’t have to buckle down and practice this new dance so badly.

 

“So Hee should have been watching her more closely,” she scolded.

 

I could see So Hee’s eyes grow larger out of the corner of my eyes.  Oh dear this was going to turn into a giant argument if it went on for much longer.  We were all a little too stressed for this right now.

 

“Excuse me?!”  So Hee exclaimed.  “I must have missed the meeting where it was decided that I had to oversee all of Sun Mi’s retarded antics.”

 

At this comment Sun Mi immediately attached herself to So Hee’s arm and gave the girl her best pouting face. 

 

“Of course you are supposed to watch over me, sweetums!  We were destined to be together forever!  In the studio, on stage, at home, in the bedroom…”

 

Ye Eun and I both flinched at the same time as So Hee’s hand made contact with the back of Sun Mi’s head.  Okay, the space-case had definitely been asking for it that time.  At least the 2PM boys hadn’t shown up for today’s practice session yet.  Sun Ye would have been so embarrassed for our group if they saw the silly fights we managed to have on an hourly basis. 

 

Sun Ye was obviously less amused with all this than the rest of us were and went to reset the stereo to replay the tango remix again. 

 

“I’m sorry about your ankle hurting Sun Mi, but you will just have to do your best to dance.  The 2PM guys will be here any minute now and we really need to know the moves to be able to dance with them.”

 

The door to the dance studio swung open the second Sun Ye finished her sentence and our five dance partners walked into the studio.  Woo Young lead the pack of boys waving a small piece of paper in front of him excitedly. 

 

“Sorry we are late, ladies!  We just got out of a meeting with JYP and he gave us his list for dance pairings.  So I guess I’ll just read them out loud to everyone and then we can get to work!  First up is So Hee with Nichkhun.  And we have Sun Mi with Taecyeon and Ye Eun with Chan Sung.”

 

The three boys moved over and stood next to the girls they were partnered with obediently and started to chat lightly amongst themselves.  They all seemed pretty excited for the chance to dance with us on stage. 

 

“Um next is Junsu with Yubin,” Woo Young read off of the sheet.

 

I barely even heard the announcement.  The slight rustle of clothing at my side told me that Junsu had moved into position next to me.  I didn’t even look up at him as he tried to strike up a conversation with me.  There were bigger things on my mind as I started staring Woo Young down.  If Junsu was with me then that meant…

 

“So that leaves me to be partners with the lovely Leader Min!”  Woo Young triumphantly announced. 

 

My fist clenched unconsciously as Woo Young skipped over to Sun Ye and flashed her a beaming smile.  Oh hell no.  This doofus was going to be touching MY Sun Ye?  He obviously had a thing for her, just like his stupid leader Jaebeom.  How could JYP allow this idiot to be paired with someone who was obviously so above him?  He better not be as cocky as he was being right now while dancing with Sun Ye.  I wasn’t above punching him in the face to teach him a lesson.

 

“Um so how are you today?” Junsu nervously asked me. 

 

I snapped my head to look at my jittery dance partner.  How could I have completely forgotten that he was standing there next to me?  This practice was going to be painful if I didn’t get it together and just stop worrying about Woo Young’s grimy hands all over my beautiful girlfriend.

 

“Oh um… I’m good I guess.”

 

“That’s good,” he breathed out a tiny sigh of relief.  “I actually had asked you a few times, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”

 

Great.  I had been partnered with this guy for a minute and he was already convinced that I disliked him.  Time to turn on the charm and get to work.  We would never be a good onstage couple if he thought I hated him.

 

“My bad,” I huskily replied.  “I’ve been practicing for a while already and I guess I was just feeling a little tired.  I’m ready to get to work now though.  Have you learned the tango dance already?

 

“Yeah,” he enthusiastically answered.  “We’ve been working on it ourselves for a bit whenever we had time.  I think we all have the basic motions down.  We just need to work on it with a real partner.  I did dance a little with Jaebeom, but I think he might be a little more muscular in form than you.”

 

He grinned at me happily.  Guess my charm was working at least since he no longer seemed scared of me.  I hazarded a quick glance across the room.  Woo Young and Sun Ye were laughing together.  Dammit.

 

I grabbed Junsu by the shoulder and directed him into the starting position for the tango dance. 

 

“Alright, let’s go through the dance a few times without the music.  I’ll count us off slowly, so let’s just try and get our moves synchronized.”

 

He nodded at me and we started to go through the steps of the dance.  Although I had obviously practiced more on the dance, Junsu proved that he was a fast learner.  Within a few runs we had the step order memorized and well timed.  All we needed to do was match each other’s rhythms and loosen up a little more.  The idea of being wrapped up in a guy’s arms wasn’t terribly appealing to me, so I really had a good enough reason for why I was so stiff in Junsu’s embrace.  I couldn’t figure out why he was so rigid though.  Perhaps he was still nervous about my standoffishness earlier?

 

Junsu’s hand started to slide down my back a little further than it had the previous run-throughs. 

 

“Man this practice is really intense,” he said in quiet voice so the other dancers in the room couldn’t hear.  “I’m really working up an appetite.  Maybe after we are done here we could go out and grab something to eat.  You know, together.”

 

Oh.  Hell.  No.  I had obviously turned my trademark Yubin charm on a little too high.  He was supposed to just feel comfortable around me, not attracted to me. 

 

“Hell no.”

 

I could feel Junsu’s arms drop from my sides as I crushed his hopes and dreams.  Urgh.  Perhaps I shouldn’t have voiced my thoughts quite so literally. 

 

“Sorry.  I’m just not interested in a relationship right now,” I scrambled to fix my statement.  “Wonder Girls is a lot of work and it doesn’t give any of us enough time to do something like that.”

 

We stood next to each other awkwardly for a few moments.  I hope the other Girls had to deal with this in their couples too.  If I was the only one who had to put up with the hassle of a one sided crush I was going to be pissed.  My gaze landed on Woo Young and Sun Ye gliding across the dance floor.

 

Okay, maybe I didn’t want _every_ couple to have crushes. 

 

“Um maybe it would be best if we took a little break until the other couples are ready to do a group run-through,” he suggested lamely.

 

Good idea.  That way I could keep an eye on this Woo Young and make sure he wasn’t trying to pull anything.  I nodded silently and we walked over to lean against the wall and observe. 

 

They weren’t doing terrible at the tango, but they definitely didn’t work as well together as Junsu and I had been.  Woo Young seemed to know the steps fairly well, but Sun Ye seemed to almost constantly be a half count behind on their motions.  That was unlike her.  She had the dance completely down when we were working by ourselves.  What could be throwing her off so much?

 

I watched their dance more closely trying to discover what was wrong with Sun Ye’s motions.  Then I saw it.  Her head was turning too slowly and it was throwing off the rest of her body.  I couldn’t help but grin at that.  She was off in her dance because she was trying to watch Junsu and me.  So my little perfectionist was just as worried about what I was doing with a guy as I was about her and Woo Young.  I suddenly felt a whole lot better about the whole dancing-with-guys situation. 

 

Junsu and I continued to watch the couple dance from our position against the wall.  My observations seemed to just make Sun Ye more nervous and she continued to fall behind in the motions.  Woo Young didn’t seem to notice and just kept leading her into the twirls and dips.  At least the guy focused on the moves to the dance and not the girl in his arms.  As if to prove my observations on him wrong, Woo Young did something that made my blood run cold. 

 

His hand slid down from its position on Sun Ye’s lower back until it was grabbing her butt for the final dip. 

 

Was this guy asking for a beat down!?  Totally unacceptable!  Either I was going to have to go over there and knock his lights out or I was going to have to do something to change the situation.  My feet started moving on their own and I stalked angrily over to where they were still frozen in the final step.

 

“Your hand positioning is a little wrong on the last dip there Woo Young,” I growled out.

 

He straightened up with Sun Ye from the ending position of the dip with an innocent look. 

 

“Oh is it?  It felt right to me.”

 

I slipped my arm between the two of them and took Sun Ye in my arms.  She followed me unquestioningly into the first position of the dance.

 

“Yeah,” I said angrily at Woo Young.  “Let me show you how it is done.”

 

Sun Ye followed me instinctively as I lead her into the turns and twists of the tango dance.  I had practiced this enough that I could even do the male steps effortlessly.  Of course it helped that I had the steadying force of Sun Ye in my arms.  She obviously felt more comfortable with me as well since her motions were perfectly timed.  With a grin I lead her into a dip.

 

“Did you really have to step in and show him up?” she whispered quietly.

 

I pulled her back up from the dip and she twirled backwards into my arms for a backwards lean. 

 

“Like I was just going to sit there and watch him play grab-ass with you.”

 

Sun Ye just smiled at my possessiveness and followed me through the rest of the tango steps.  We were so very in synch.  Woo Young must be so jealous.  I smirked as I dropped her into the final dip.  My hand drifted instinctually past Sun Ye’s lower back and ended on her behind.  I could see her blush slightly as my fingers lightly trailed over her.  Hmmm perhaps Woo Young was right.  The dance did feel better this way.

 

 After staying in the ending postition a little longer than we should have, I guided Sun Ye back up to her feet.  Woo Young walked over to me with a confused look on his face.

 

“I didn’t notice anything different between your hand placement and mine,” he said thoughtfully.

 

“Oh really?  Maybe you were doing it right.  I’m sure Sun Ye will direct you where to put your hands.”

 

I shot off a warning look to Sun Ye and stalked back over to my love-struck dance partner.  Time for us to get back to work.  Only four days until we had to do this in front of hundreds of thousands of people. 

 

 ==========

 

 

Somehow our paltry practice of four days was enough for us to pull of the Tango ‘Nobody’ performance without a hitch.  We all managed to get in the groove with each of our partners and were fairly in synch as a group for the final live.  Junsu made no further advances toward me, but I could tell he really wanted to try again.  However, my brutally honest answer from before seemed to have scared him enough that he didn’t attempt anything.  Woo Young no longer finished with his hands on Sun Ye’s behind, probably due to a corrective statement from her.  It made me happy to think that my touch made her realize that she didn’t want others feeling up her body. 

 

JYP had obviously predicted in advance how popular our Tango stage was going to be and had already booked several interviews post performance.  Each show was clamoring about how exciting the live had been and asking us when we would do another show like that one.  It made the brutal hours we pulled before the performance all seem worth it due to the fan response. 

 

Today brought another interview, this time on m.net’s show.  I leaned back in my chair and let the usual accolade of compliments wash over me.  My eyes followed the curve of the counter we were seated at for the interview until they landed on Sun Ye.  I couldn’t help but wish that I was sitting next to my princess instead of across the table from her.  It didn’t help that I was seated next to Ye Eun, who just smirked at me every time she caught my gaze wander over to Sun Ye. 

 

The male host looked around the counter happily at us. 

 

“So you were all fantastic on stage doing the Tango ‘Nobody’ version.  All the couples looked really nice together.  But was there a couple that had more problems together than the others?”

 

All the other Girls looked around at each other and didn’t seem to know how to answer that question and no one wanted to tattle on the others.  With a smirk I decided to take the lead on the response.

 

“I would have to say Woo Young and Sun Ye had the most problems.”

 

This seemed to delight the two hosts.  They turned quickly to Sun Ye for her response.  I could see Sun Ye’s eyes flick over to me in annoyance.  I had put her on the spot. 

 

“Well we had a lot of time coordinating with each other,” she scrambled to explain.  “He was really stiff when we danced with each other and it made it hard to turn and do the dance steps.”

 

Woo Young was stiff, huh?  From what I saw he was far too loose and touchy with my Sun Ye.  It was a nice white lie from her though and the hosts would never need to know that the real reason they were out of synch was because she was busy watching me. 

 

“Maybe he was just nervous cause he liked you so much,” the male host said with a chuckle. 

 

“Yeah like he would even get a chance to talk to her with her overly jealous girlfriend stalking around,” Ye Eun muttered at my side.

 

I sent a swift and hard kick under the table at her.  She hissed and rubbed her sore leg.  The interviewers didn’t need to hear her wisecracks, but we couldn’t exactly fight openly on live TV either.  Ye Eun glared at me and we both turned back to the discussion like everything was entirely normal. 

 

The host hadn’t seen any of our nonverbal fight and had continued on with the interview. 

 

“So T.O.P. and Lee Hyori caused quite a stir with their onstage kiss at the year end awards.  Did any of you girls expect that at all?”

 

“Oh not at all!” Ye Eun innocently answered.  That girl knew how to play it up for the audience.  It was like our little fight hadn’t happened at all. 

 

“So be honest,” the male host leaned into the counter towards all of us.  “If the PD came up to you and said that one of the Wonder Girls had to have an on stage kiss for all the fans, who would it be?”

 

I saw Sun Mi send a conspiring look at Sun Ye.  Great, now they were going to get their revenge for me putting Sun Ye on the spot earlier.

 

“Oh well it would have to be the oldest,” Sun Mi said sugar sweetly.  “So definitely Yubin.”

 

The hosts snapped their heads over at me expectantly.

 

“Well Sun Ye should probably do it since she is the leader,” I countered.

 

Sun Ye glared jokingly across the table at me.  I was in for a scolding later.  Hopefully it would come with a sexy punishment too…

 

“Maybe Yubin and Sun Ye could just kiss each other,” Ye Eun suggested loudly.

 

I couldn’t help but chuckle as Sun Ye’s glare redirected itself right over to her best friend.  Well it looked like I was no longer the one in trouble now.  The hosts didn’t notice the silent war going on between the members and just laughed at Ye Eun’s ‘joke’ and moved on with the rest of the questions.  Ye Eun seemed pretty happy with herself and smiled at Sun Ye mockingly for the rest of the interview. 

 

As soon as the hosts finished their barrage of questions and the cameras had stopped rolling we all took off our microphones.  I saw Sun Ye stomp over to her best friend and hit her hard on the arm. 

 

“OW!  What was that for?” Ye Eun whined as she rubbed her arm.

 

“Oh you know perfectly well what that was for,” Sun Ye hissed angrily at her.  “I can’t believe you said that on live television!  You could have gotten Yubin and me into a lot of trouble.”

 

“Oh that,” Ye Eun said sarcastically.  “It wasn’t going to get you in trouble, they just thought it was a funny joke.  And for everyone except you it was!”

 

 Sun Ye looked like she was going to explode at her best friend.  As amusing as that fight would be, it probably wouldn't be the best for us to get into this sort of argument in front of a bunch of music industry news reporters.  Time for me to diffuse the potentially dangerous situation.  I walked up behind my girlfriend and put my hand comfortingly on her shoulder.

 

“And here I thought that you were going to be mad at me post interview,” I said in my distractingly husky voice. 

 

Ye Eun mouthed thanks to me as she made her escape off towards the dressing rooms.  Sun Ye saw her best friend dash off, but seemed to be more interested in me and my comforting touch.  I slipped my hand into hers and started to lead her away from all the retreating staff members.  She edged closer to me as we picked our way slowly around the set.  We finally settled in a spot behind the newscaster backdrop that had been used for the interview.  There were no prying eyes to see us in this hiding spot which caused me to grin roguishly at my innocent girlfriend.

 

“Don’t think that you are totally off the hook either,” Sun Ye warned me with a pout on her face.

 

I silently pushed her into the eaves of the backdrop.  We were in our own little world back here and the thought that someone could-possibly-maybe walk by and see us only made it all the more thrilling for me.  I dropped my head to the side of her neck and breathed in the flowery scent that was so distinctively Sun Ye’s. 

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I whispered huskily into her ear.

 

At the sound of my deep voice Sun Ye turned her head towards mine for our inevitable kiss.  Her arms wrapped around the back of my neck to pull me closer to her.  Our lips instinctively found each other and we fell into our rhythm.  My tongue traced an outline on her bottom lip and I caught the slight strawberry flavor of her lip-gloss.  Sun Ye practically purred at my attentions and her fingers tangled themselves into my hair.  I could feel my mind haze over into absolute bliss at the happy sound Sun Ye made.  Only I could make her feel this way.  Not Jaebeom.  Not gropey-mc-hands Woo Young.  Just me. 

 

I allowed my hands to wander around her sides, past her back, and down to her bottom.  To think I wouldn’t have experienced this if it hadn’t been for the Tango ‘Nobody…’ The second she felt my fingers moving past her waist I felt her gasp into my mouth and pull away slightly.

 

“Yubin, not here,” she breathed out.  “Someone could walk by and see…”

 

I dipped my head towards her neck again and grinned knowing that she could feel my smile.  With a slight sigh I placed a feather light kiss on her exposed shoulder.

 

“What if we were tangoing?” I asked with a smirk.  “Could I touch you then?”

 

 ==========

 

 

 _11/26/08_

 _My shy Sun Ye,_

 _These past few days have been so much fun with you.   You get so nervous when I’m around you in public.  Probably because it has gotten to the point where I can hardly stand to keep my hands off of you.  Every time I am near you I just feel the urge to run my fingers through your short, silky hair.  I feel like my heart will stop beating if I don’t brush my lips against yours.  With sensations as strong as those is it any surprise that I just constantly have to touch you?  The tango practice was such a perfect opportunity for me.  It allowed me to put my hands all over you under the guise of dancing.  Plus I’m not gonna lie, it was nice to dance with you as a couple.  I really hope that JYP organizes another dance for us to learn that will give me a chance to be with you ‘publicly’ again._

 _It definitely gives me a little thrill to try and touch you in front of others.  When Ye Eun made that joke about us kissing… I couldn’t help but wish that we could actually do that.  Can you picture us kissing on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people like that?  I get such a rush just thinking about it.  And probably people would just think it was a gag performance and just overlook it!  Of course, you would never feel that way.  I can see you freaking out in my mind right now.  It’s adorable how shy you still are about our relationship.  You have been getting so forward in your actions with me during our late night rendezvous, but just the thought of people knowing about us makes you so timid.  I can’t wait until the day where you feel comfortable enough with me that we can be together in private and in public._

 _I also learned that I have a mad jealous streak in me.  Okay, I sort of already knew that from when we spent time with 2PM before.  But this time you are my girlfriend and I feel somewhat justified in my feelings.  Those four days of practice we had for tango ‘Nobody’ were intense.  I thought that I was going to have to challenge Woo Young multiple times for inappropriate conduct.  Seriously, are they pumping those 2PM boys full of testosterone or something?!  He just couldn’t keep his hands to himself and half the time I don’t think he even knew he was doing it!  Urgh, I wanna see his face when he finds out about you and me.  Stupid pervert will be so embarrassed to know that he was hitting on you when you were dating another girl.  He never had a chance._

 _Well we only have a few more ‘Nobody’ performances left for the year-end awards and then we are going to be focusing solely on our US debut.  So I guess our time together is going to be pretty limited again, huh?  I don’t plan on stopping my late night visits to your room any time soon though.  Which means I probably won’t have a chance to write a letter to you.  I don’t really feel the need to continue them right now anyway.  I mean, I originally I started writing these because I was having trouble sorting out how I felt about you.  But there isn’t any indecision in my heart right now.  I know exactly how I feel about you._

 _See you in America?_

-  _your protectively jealous girlfriend Yubin_


	11. Chapter 11:  It’s Kinda Like Getting Hit by a Truck

 

I sighed lightly as I watched Sun Ye read over the latest letter.  It was going to be hard to calm myself down after my outburst.  As always she had complete control over my every emotion with just a few simple words.  I was out of line for snapping at her like that earlier.  She was just trying to reach out to me after reading something personal.  But at the same time I couldn’t help it that I just didn’t want to talk about it.

 

But that was always our problem wasn’t it?  We never did talk enough.  Not friendly chitchat and stories, we did that plenty, but really deep, soul-bearing conversations.  We only ever had the one and it was not as revealing and open as it could have been.  I couldn’t help but think that maybe things would have ended up totally different between us if we had just _talked_ to each other.  Maybe we would even be here in this café as a couple and not a…

 

What exactly were we right now?  Obviously ex-group members.  Ex-girlfriends.  And if I had anything to say about it, we would stay that way.  But Sun Ye seemed to be trying really hard to build up the bridge of friendship between us again.  Okay, maybe it was even more than a friendship bridge judging from her flirtatious comments.

 

Sun Ye finished up the letter and folded it on top of the pile that she had already read.  She looked up at me somewhat apprehensively, like she expected me to still be angry with her.  Things were going to be really awkward for the rest of this letter reading process if I let her think that.  I smiled lightly at her.

 

“Comments, criticisms, thoughts?” I said jokingly.

 

“Nothing that won’t loop back around to that obviously taboo word of ‘insecurities,’” she said with a sigh.

 

My eyes dropped to the tabletop and I started tracing patterns into the surface of the table.  Way to kill the mood Sun Ye.  After I had just tried to set it right again, too.  Her hand slowly closed on top of my nervously tracing one and stopped it cold.  I couldn’t help but glare at her in an irritated fashion. 

 

“Yubin… Let’s make a deal, okay?” she proposed quietly.

 

A deal?  I looked at Sun Ye curiously.  What could she possibly be planning now?

 

“Sun Ye, I don’t know what you are thinking up, but I’m not really in the mood for a crazy plan right now,” I said cautiously.

 

“Just hear me out.  I promise that I won’t bring up any more of these bad subjects and I’ll even hurry up reading the letters since I can see how antsy it is making you.”

 

“And what do I have to promise in return?” I suspiciously asked.

 

“You have to promise that we will talk when I finish reading them all.  A real talk.  No holding back, totally open.  We get everything off our chests.”

 

I stared at her hand that was still on top of mine.  On the plus side it would get me out of this awkward situation so much faster if Sun Ye wasn’t always stalling for time.  That was less time I spent wallowing in my memories of ‘us.’  That was a good thing.  On the other hand, there was this discussion.  Inevitably she would bring up everything I never wanted to talk, or even think about ever again.  But then it would be over, like ripping a Band-Aid off a cut.  It might work even better than this letter reading nonsense as a relief from the past.  This could be my clean break from her.

 

I flipped my hand under hers upside down so that I could grasp her palm and gave it a good shake.

 

“Deal.”

 

She beamed a smile at me across the table. 

 

“Excellent!  It’s a promise.  I guess I better get started on the next letter right away then.”

 

Sun Ye picked up the next letter in the unread pile and tore it open enthusiastically.  At least she seemed happy now.  And that was all that really mattered right?

 

I couldn’t help but sigh again.  Urgh.  Now I was going to have to wait for her to finish all the letters and for our heart-to-heart discussion.  Talk about suspense.  This was going to be the longest day ever.

 

 =========

 

 

Everything was a whirlwind after the ‘Nobody’ promotions ended.  We ended up sweeping all of the year-end awards for which we were nominated.  I don’t think any of us expected that much to happen.  It seemed like we were almost always shedding tears over our latest accomplishment on stage in front of thousands.  I can’t remember ever seeing Sun Ye and Ye Eun cry so much in my life, and we had been through a lot of tough spots together, but we were so proud of it all.  All those months of blistered feet, all-nighters of dance practice, and seemingly endless promotional lives had paid off.  With our cavalcade of awards we could truly look back at 2008 and say that we were the number one girl group of the year, arguably one of the best performers period. 

 

But JYP was never one to let us rest on our laurels.  As soon as we finished sweeping up awards we were put right back to work.  This time we had to begin prep work for our first concert tour.  The amount of practice hours we put into that concert rivaled even some of our ‘Nobody’ workload.  It all seemed so much more worth it though.  Solo concert tours for girl groups were practically unheard of in Korea… and here we were hitting up not only Korea, but Thailand and the US too.  Yet, any thoughts of our world tour going to our heads were instantly drowned out by the amount of work the very idea posed.  Sun Ye worked sun up to sun down like a woman possessed to help come up with choreography.  We all tried our hardest to keep up with our never tiring leader as she powered us through the practices right up to the lives. 

 

We were constantly pushing ourselves to our limit so often that all of the concert tour seemed to be over before it even began.  I remember eating Massaman curry in Thailand.  There is some vague recollection of seeing my parents in California.  And then there was the wall of screaming fans in Korea.  Pieces of the tour float back to me, but I think by that point I was too burnt out to even form proper memories.  Luckily m.net was there filming our Welcome to Wonderland’ show every step of the way.  Maybe one day when I have time I will go back and watch it just so I can see what happened during that tumultuous period of weeks. 

 

Then, as fast as it began, it was all over.

 

I stared up at the ceiling of my room at our apartment in Seoul.  There was no big show waiting for us or a new single to promote.  My mind told me I should be happy about that at the very least.  A little bit of free time would be nice.  Okay, I wouldn’t be entirely free since JYPE constantly had us in classes to improve our language base, but it would still be better than the never-ending drills we had to go through before.  At least it was a change of pace.  A change of pace that I really didn’t want to think of at the moment. 

 

Running my fingers along the comforter on my bed I tried to memorize the feel of my bed.  Next time I woke up I would be in on a bed in America.  A foreign bed that wouldn’t really be my bed.  Perhaps I was being melodramatic, but I didn’t want to think about the upcoming voyage to New York City.  Everything was going to be different there and the bed was really the least of my worries.  It seemed like the least painful one to think of at the moment though.  How was I going to manage this? 

 

A light knock at my door broke me out of my thoughts and I turned to see my beautiful girlfriend entering my room.  Ahhh, that was how I was going to manage, with the help of my lovely Sun Ye.  I wasn’t going to be doing this alone.  Scooting to the side, I made room on the bed so she could sit down next to me.

 

“Hey… Are you doing okay?” she asked me cautiously. 

 

My fingers wrapped around her own as I sought some element of comfort.  Sun Ye knew that I was the one being hardest hit by this move to America.  Sure the other girls were scared, but they had their ‘Korean native’ excuse to fall back on if they messed up their English.  I had peoples’ expectations all around me just waiting for me to trip up.  Urgh. 

 

“Scared out of my mind,” I honestly answered Sun Ye.  “We are really doing this aren’t we?”

 

“Yeah, we are…” she squeezed my hand back comfortingly.  “There really isn’t much turning back now.  I know there is only so much I can do to help you, because I’m going to be confused right there with you.  But know that I believe in you, even if you feel no one else does.”

 

“Trust me, that is the only reason I’m not running in the other direction right now.”

 

We sat there in silence holding hands.  I tried to focus on Sun Ye’s presence to help calm my nerves.  Even just sitting next to her was doing wonders for what I thought must be a developing stomach ulcer in my gut.  Feeling a little more fortified I turned to her with a slightly more confident look.

 

“I suppose I should just view it as a special vacation that I am going on with my special girl,” I added with a devious grin.  “Would that make this our honeymoon?”

 

Sun Ye slapped me lightly on the arm and stood up quickly. 

 

“And here I was worried about you.  Yubin, you are just so shameless!”

 

I grinned up at her as I fell back onto my bed.  She wasn’t actually upset with me.  I had learned fairly quickly that our banter was just me drawing out her teasing nature.  When I looked up at her face from my new positioning I could see that I was right.  She was giving me her best fake pout, but I could see her eyes twinkling at me.  After a few seconds of her light-hearted attempt to get an apology from me she gave up.  She’d succeeded at her original mission of de-stressing me for the upcoming trip anyway. 

 

Sun Ye made her way across my tidy room obviously looking for something.  She kept searching until she stopped at my completely empty suitcase that was sitting in front of my closet. 

 

“Yubin…” she said with a tone of utter shock.  “Your suitcase is empty.”

 

“As empty as the day God made it.”

 

“We are leaving for the airport in two hours.”

 

Really?  That soon?  I honestly hadn’t noticed the time drifting away from me as I daydreamed on my bed. 

 

“Eh, I was too busy dealing with all that inner turmoil and what not, if you didn’t notice.  I’ll just throw some clothes into it before we leave,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

 

She gave me an absolutely scandalized look at my obvious lack of preparation.  Nothing got to our perfect leader quite like the concept of spontaneity. 

 

“You have got to be kidding me.  We have two hours left!  What are you doing in between now and the time we leave that would keep you from packing!?”

 

I sat up on my bed and leaned towards her seductively. 

 

“I’m alone in my bedroom with my stone cold fox of a girlfriend.  What do you think I’m going to be doing?”

 

This made Sun Ye blush furiously, although I couldn’t tell if it was due to my implication of what I wanted to do or from my description of her as a ‘stone cold fox.’  Either way I had succeeded in making my girlfriend blush up to the roots of her hair, which always amused me.  There was no cuter sight than my red-cheeked Sun Ye.

 

“Yubin!  We totally don’t have time for this.  Why don’t I just help you pack?”

 

I gave a non-committal shrug, but made no move to get up from my seat on the edge of my bed.  Sun Ye seemed to take this as a sign to go ahead and started to pick through the clothes lining the inside of my closet. 

 

“Honestly, I know you are freaked out by this US debut thing,” she mumbled through the clothing covering up her face, “But you really need to get it together.  If you keep falling to pieces like this the other Girls are going to find out really fast.”

 

Falling to pieces… that terminology was a bit strong for my liking.  Was that really what it seemed like I was doing?  No, this definitely wasn’t that bad. 

 

“I’m a little out of sorts maybe, but I’m definitely not ‘falling to pieces.’  It would take a lot more than this to do that to me.”

 

Sun Ye ducked out of my closet with a blue and white striped shirt and black bubble vest, one of my favorite ensembles.  She held it up for my inspection with a raised eyebrow.  I knew that I wanted to pack it for the trip, but I wasn’t going to tell her that so easily.

 

“I don’t know…” I looked at her appraisingly.  “Maybe you could try it on real fast so I can see if it is worth packing.”

 

She sighed at my flirtatious comment, but was still smiling at me.  With an over the top flourish she held the outfit up to herself and struck a pose like a model.  It wasn’t as good as if she had actually been wearing it, but the stripes actually suited her quite well.  Not that anything looked _bad_ when it came to Sun Ye.  My satisfaction with the outfit held against her must have showed on my face.  With a light chuckle she took the outfit and chucked it into my waiting suitcase.  I pouted at her.  Spoilsport.

 

“So what would make you fall to pieces?” she asked as she continued pawing through the contents of my closet.

 

Her sudden return to our previous conversation startled me.  I tried to think of things that could dismantle me entirely.  Before I would have said that comments from my antis would make me fall to pieces.  Lately I had found myself caring less and less about what they had to say about me.  After all, I had Sun Ye now.  Their words meant little to me when faced with the comfort she would give me.  It was her words that held sway over me and could cheer me up or destroy me in an instant.  In fact, most aspects of my life seemed to revolve around Sun Ye in some way. 

 

I leaned back on the bed and inspected my girlfriend in front of me as she absent-mindedly tossed clothes into my suitcase for me.  So this woman had absolute control over my emotions and actions then?  The thought was kind of terrifying in itself.  So then logically if I was ever to ‘fall to pieces’ it would be because of Sun Ye?  I allowed visions of Sun Ye breaking up, cheating on me, and various other heinous acts to drift through my head.  My chest automatically ached painfully. 

 

That was all the confirmation I needed.  Sun Ye was definitely the answer to her own question.  We had been dating for about half a year now.  It didn’t seem like that long at all, probably since the amount of time we had to just be a couple was so small due to our job.  We hardly had any chances to explore our relationship, especially in the ways that I wanted to, and we seemed to move forward at an agonizingly slow pace.  Even given all of that time, when had she managed to worm her way so deeply into my subconscious? 

 

Should I be concerned that someone held so much power over me?  It seemed like a dangerous position to be in, leaving her to control my every emotion.  Maybe I should back off a little before I got hurt somehow?  No, that wouldn’t work at all.  I loved her too much to just cut her out like that.

 

I bolted upright on my bed causing Sun Ye to stop from her packing to stare at me curiously. 

 

Did I really just think that?!  Did I… love… Sun Ye?

 

“Hey Yubin,” she worried looked at me from the closet.  “Are you okay?  You don’t have to get all worked up over that question you know.  Just forget it.”

 

My eyes took in her worried face and my heart raced.  Well now that I had put it into words there didn’t seem like there could be much to doubt about it.  I was totally head over heels in love with the girl who was trying her hardest to get me ready for our trip out of the country. 

 

I couldn’t help but beam my best smile at Sun Ye as I stood up and took my Yankee’s hoodie out of her hands.  With a light toss it landed into my suitcase with the rest of my clothing.  Once the hoodie was out of the way I wrapped my arms around Sun Ye and pulled her into a tight embrace.  If she was the woman who controlled me then I wasn’t going to let her get away.  I could feel Sun Ye loosen up in my arms and accept my hug.

 

“Um thanks I guess,” she mumbled into my hair. 

 

“Don’t worry about it,” I whispered back to her.  “Let’s just have as much fun as we possibly can in New York City.  Together.”

 

She sighed happily in my arms.

 

“I’d like that.”

 

 

 =========

 

“I get to sit next to So Hee!  I get to sit next to So Hee!”

 

I cringed slightly as Sun Mi screamed into my ear.  Like I was even going to try and sit next to her anyway.  My cursory glance down the length of the plane showed that there were three aisles of two seats across the plane.  We were going to be split into three groups then and one of us was going to be stuck sitting in the middle with a random staff member.  Sun Mi and So Hee were already settling into their seats on the right side of the plane.  I turned and looked behind me to see that Sun Ye was already giving me a knowing look.  She was definitely sitting next to me.  Grabbing her hand I darted to the pair of empty seats on the left side of the plane.

 

“Have fun by yourself Ye Eun!” I called back from our new seats. 

 

Ye Eun just stood slack jawed in the aisle.  I felt kind of bad about ditching her like that, but I had to stick with my girl.  And obviously Sun Mi did too.  A sideways glance over at Sun Mi showed that she was already fitting So Hee’s head with a pair of fluffy pink headphones.  So Hee didn’t look too thrilled with the fashion decision, but was putting up with her friend’s ridiculous antics.  I had no clue how she managed it.  If Sun Mi dogged me like that I definitely would have snapped by now.  Sometimes So Hee’s general acceptance of her friend made me wonder…

 

“Oh wow.  Thanks guys,” Ye Eun complained from her lonely seat in the middle of the airplane.  “I really feel the solidarity in our group dynamic.”

 

Sun Ye looked past me from her window seat and smiled at her best friend.

 

“Look on the bright side,” she reasoned to Ye Eun, “Now you can sucker the poor staffer sitting next to you into letting you use her lap desk.  That way you can have twice as much space for airline food.  Didn’t you say you really liked the sandwiches last time we flew to the US?”

 

That put a smile in Ye Eun’s face.  Nothing could get that girl happy quite like the idea of a good, free meal.  She was definitely going to be okay about sitting by herself now. 

 

Once we were all seated and organized the staff started filing into the plane and taking their seats.  We weren’t coming with many people since JYPE would be giving us new staff members from their US division, but JYP had decided to bring over a few of our makeup and hair artists just to buff up the crew for the US invasion.  We were all pretty happy about the decision since it allowed us to at least have a few familiar faces around.  There was no guarantee that the New York City based staff would speak Korean at all and this would at least allow us that small comfort.  Ye Eun seemed to already be enjoying the company of the staff member who had sat down in the free seat next to her.  She was leaning in and acting like she was imparting some giant secret to the bewildered woman, all while casting small glances towards Sun Ye and me.  Great.  She was probably plotting something again. 

 

The staff members took their assigned spots on the plane and we started coasting down the runway.  I could feel Sun Ye tense up slightly next to me.  She wasn’t scared of planes exactly, but they did make her a little nervous.  Nothing I wouldn’t be able to fix by holding her hand. 

 

I curled my hand protectively on top of hers and smiled at her.  At my touch she instantly relaxed and smiled back.

 

“Are you ready for this?” I asked quietly as the plane lifted off into the air.

 

She shot me a patronizing look like I was an adorable twelve year old.

 

“Aww and now you’re worried about me when you were the one practically curled into the fetal position on her bed an hour ago?  That’s so cute!”

 

I instantly let go of the hand and sulkily leaned out into the aisle. 

 

“Fine.  You are on your own.  Hope the pressure changes make your ears explode,” I said dramatically.

 

Sun Ye just laughed at me and I knew we were going to have a fun eighteen-hour ride to New York City just because she was there next to me.

 

 ==========

 

 

“Urgh…”

 

Ye Eun clutched her stomach as she stumbled out of our rental car.  Some of the staff members rushed over to try and comfort her, but the four of us held back.  We’d seen this too many times before.

 

“You would think she had learned her lesson about overeating airline food after she did it the first hundred times,” So Hee commented dryly. 

 

We all chuckled as the staff members lead the moping Ye Eun back over to our group.  All of us knew that at this point she was really just playing it up and was no longer feeling that sick.  A particularly nervous looking JYPE US staff member stepped around the staggering Ye Eun with a ring full of keys and started distributing them amongst us with shaky hands.  Clearly being the presence of five lovely Korean pop stars was a little much for him.

 

“W-welcome to New York City,” he stammered out.  “We have your new apartment keys right here for all of you.  All the staff members are very excited to have you girls staying in the JYPE USA dormitories with us.  F-follow me and I will show you to your rooms.”

 

He held open the doors to the JYPE building and we followed him inside to what would be our new home for the foreseeable future.  He led us up the winding staircase up to the top floor.

 

“JYP wanted us to make sure you would be as comfortable as possible for your transition here.  We are going to give you ladies the biggest apartment in the complex so you can share just like you are used to doing.  Um… Even though it’s our biggest here it’s still a little smaller than your old accommodations in Korea, but hopefully that will be okay with all you ladies.”

 

With his shaking hands he managed to dig out a spare set of keys to the apartment, unlocked the door and showed us inside.  It seemed to be spacious enough, which made sense since it sprawled out across most of the top floor of the JYPE apartment complex.  The kitchen was large and a marked improvement from our slightly cramped one back in Seoul.  I could see Sun Ye’s eyes light up as she took in the sight with excitement.  Sun Mi ran energetically into the living room started bouncing up and down on the couch. 

 

“Oh my goodness!” she squealed loudly.  “Did you see the size of the TV in here!?  Everything is so much bigger in America!”

 

The rest of us made our way further into the apartment in a slightly calmer manner.  I looked into the living room and noted that with its three couches around the big screen TV, it was in fact much larger than our hang out area in Seoul.  The staff member obviously had no idea what we were used to back home, since this was all a definite upgrade so far. 

 

“Ah yes,” the staff member continued nervously, “Most of the apartment is bigger at first glance, but um… there is one issue.”

 

I looked at the staff member expectantly.  Was there no shower or something?  Surely it couldn’t be as bad as he was building it up to be.

 

“There are only three bedrooms attached to this apartment unlike your usual five.  So two groups of you are going to have to share,” he said sheepishly.

 

Out of the corner of my eye I could see So Hee’s shoulders slump slightly.  This could only mean one thing for her.  Sun Mi’s eyes were already glowing like a kid before a candy buffet. 

 

“I call sharing with So Hee!” she shouted out predictably. 

 

“Well one of our staff members already spoke with one of you girls on how to divide up the rooms,” the guide announced nervously.  “We’ve already had your stuff put into rooms accordingly.”

 

Sun Mi looked terrified at the thought that she might not be with So Hee after all and darted back towards the hallway to the bedrooms.  She skidded into the first room on the right and let out an audible sigh of relief that we could hear all the way in the living room.  Sun Ye seemed to be just as curious as me about the set up of the rooms and walked down the hallway towards Sun Mi’s excited chatter.

 

“Yay!  Sun Mi and So Hee’s suitcases are in this room!  That means we are going to be together forever!”

 

I could see So Hee rolling her eyes out in the living room as she flipped through channels on the big screen television.  She obviously wanted no part of this.

 

“It’s even better ‘cause there is only one bed,” Sun Mi babbled on.  “Now So Hee and I can snuggle all night long!”

 

The remote clattered out of So Hee’s hand at that comment.  She sped past me in the hallway and darted into the room she was destined to share with Sun Mi.  I couldn’t help but chuckle as her face visibly fell as she realized that Sun Mi was telling the truth.  Poor So He probably wasn’t going to be sleeping soundly for her stay in New York City. 

 

“Argh!  This always happens!  Can’t someone else deal with this freak?” So Hee complained loudly.

 

Ye Eun snickered from behind me as she peered into the room on the left side of the hallway.

 

“Oh look it’s my suitcase!” she announced overdramatically.  “Guess I get this room to myself!”

 

My jaw dropped at her obvious tone of voice.  That rat!  It was clear that Ye Eun was the Wonder Girl the staff members talked to about room arrangements.

 

“When the hell did you sneak off to talk to the staff members and engineer this scheme?!”  I yelled pointedly at her.

 

She shot me her best innocent look.  I was seeing that expression far too often from her nowadays.

 

“Well I was stuck on the plane sitting next to that one staff lady for such a long flight.  I simply answered a few of her questions about who would match the best for room assignments.  Besides,” she dramatically grasped her stomach, “I’m sick.  It wouldn’t be good if I shared a room with someone and got them ill, too.”

 

“You got sick from airline food!” I yelled.  “That is so not a valid excuse!”

 

“Um Yubin…”

 

I looked at Sun Ye questioningly as she muttered my name.  Her face was definitely a bit paler than it usually was.  She was staring at me like I was missing something very obvious.  Her eyes darted to the bedroom directly at the end of the hallway.  If Sun Mi and So Hee were sharing a room and Ye Eun was by herself…

 

Everything suddenly clicked in my head and I bolted for the door at the end of the hallway.  Inside the room lay my luggage.  And Sun Ye’s.  And a single bed. 

 

“Oh hell…” I whispered as I collapsed against the doorjamb.

 

Sun Ye walked up next to me in the doorway.  I could see the blush forming lightly on her cheeks as she stared at our new living arrangements.  So much for taking things slow in our relationship.  Ye Eun was definitely going to get an earful for dumping us in this situation just for a cheap laugh.  Sun Ye quietly slid into the room and started unpacking her suitcase into one of the two dressers in the room.  There were no words that could be said right now.

 

Crap.

 

 ==========

 

 

 _04/01/09_

 _my tantalizing Sun Ye,_

 _There are just too many thoughts bouncing around in my head right now.  Instead of going right to bed, like my jetlagged brain is telling me I should be doing, I’ve decided to stay up and write you a letter.  I haven’t done one of these in quite some time, mostly due to me not having the time with our concert tour and everything.  Plus there was nothing confusing in my life that I needed to sort out, but now… urgh this day is about as confusing and dramatic as they come.  Two huge things happened today and I really could have done with a little more warning on both fronts.  First…_

 _Damn that Ye Eun!  She really did it this time didn’t she?  Us sharing a bedroom?  Sharing a bed!?  This is really quite the situation she ended up putting us in here.  It’s like something out of a sitcom.  We couldn’t even talk about what to do since Sun Mi was busy bouncing in and out of the room, exploring the whole apartment.  I could see your stares plain as day as we silently unpacked though.  There was going to be no silly business going on in this bed.  I guess that was reasonable since personal boundaries have never really been much of a deterrent to certain members of our group._

 _Or at least that is what I kept telling myself for all those quiet hours of us unpacking.  The totally insecure part of my mind told me that it was because you didn’t want to be with me on any further level than us kissing and snuggling.  Do you not find me as attractive as I find you?  It sure feels to me that every time I see you lately I seem to drift into a daydream about us… together.  You know… in a totally more than innocent kissing and snuggling sort of way.  And I’ve definitely been having dreams at night about you too.  Which is one of the reasons why I am avoiding the bed so much right now…_

 _When I first tried to go to sleep tonight I could barely manage to step into that bed next to you.  My heart was pounding in my chest so hard I thought I was going to have an aneurysm.  I just knew I wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep as easily as you did, which is why I am now writing this letter.  Really, it all seems a little silly since we had definitely snuggled on both our beds back home in Seoul.  But this time I was supposed to sleep next to you?  How am I supposed to manage to close my eyes and drift off into dreamland when I have you lying next to me!?  The very sensation of having you near me puts my whole body on high alert.  It really doesn’t help that this is all happening on the same day that I realized I’m hopelessly in love with you…_

 _And that would be the second huge thing that happened today.  And thinking about that is possibly even more terrifying than trying to coax myself to sleep next to you with all my less-than-innocent thoughts.  When I realized how deeply I felt about you back in my bedroom in Seoul, it was like getting struck by a truck; it completely knocked the wind out of me, but I shouldn’t have been so surprised ‘cause I should have seen it barreling towards me.  I mean we have been together for so long now, over half a year.  That’s so much longer than any of my relationships in the past have lasted.  Usually I would have my fun with the girl and then we would both move on, no harm no foul.  But that was never in the cards with you, was it?  Really, I was probably madly in love with you from the first moment I noticed you dancing gracefully next to me on stage.  God, sometimes I can just be so dense about these things, you know?_

 _Even if I did realize, all too slowly of course, that I was totally and completely in love with you… what do I do now?  Do I just come out and tell you?  Things with you are always so tricky because I actually care what you think and feel.  It was definitely easier when the only thing in the relationship was sex.  I guess I’ll just let the moment come, just like I’ve done with everything else so far.  I really don’t want to scare you off with my intense feelings so I’ll just let you lead the way.  Which is basically what I’ve been doing for the past six months, huh?  But when that perfect moment comes I will let you know, with all my heart…_

 _That I, Kim Yubin, love you Min Sun Ye._

 _Oh yeah.  It felt good writing that out._

 _-your love-smitten girlfriend Yubin_


	12. Chapter 12:  I always try and make my dream a reality

Sun Ye let out a shaky breath as she put the newest letter down.  From my seat across the table it looked like her eyes were slightly wetter than usual.  Was she crying?

 

“Yubin, why didn’t you just say how you felt out loud, instead of just keeping all these feelings to yourself?”

 

I avoided her questioning stare and let my eyes drift down to the tabletop.

 

“I don’t know,” I said dismissively.  “My feelings for you were so strong, I guess I always felt there was no way you felt the same way about me.”

 

“Or maybe you would have found out that I felt exactly the same way,” she countered. 

 

Urgh.  I hated when she used her totally reasonable logic against me.  It was all a moot point anyway since she definitely had felt the same way as me, at least at some point.  And it wasn’t like I never confessed my love for her, I just didn’t rush to do it right away.  I glanced up at Sun Ye and saw she was smiling at me. 

 

“I also had trouble sleeping that first night too,” she confessed.  “While you were twitching on the other side of the bed and then sneaking off to write your letter… I was awake the whole time.  I just figured I would pretend to be asleep to make things easier and less uncomfortable.”

 

“Really?” I asked with a chuckle.

 

“Yeah… The whole time I just really wanted to slide across that bed and… uh well.  You know…”

 

Yeah I knew.  It was something we did plenty of subsequent nights.  Just thinking of all the fun times we had in that JYPE apartment was playing games with my hormones. 

 

“We really were kind of an awkward couple sometimes weren’t we?” she said quietly.  “Maybe if you hadn’t waited so long to confess your undying love for me we would have been having fun in that bed a whole lot sooner.”

 

I glared at her across the table.  She had managed to flirt with me and subtly challenge my insecurities at the same time.  The abilities this girl had were amazing, but it didn’t change the fact that Sun Ye was seriously trying to mess with me.  And that was totally in strict violation of our agreement.

 

“Wait a second, didn’t you promise that you wouldn’t draw this whole process out?  Move on to the next letter, girl.”

 

Sun Ye looked a little put out that I didn’t let her finish all of her thoughts.  I only looked reproachfully back at her.  She _had_ promised.  There was no way she could argue back against that.  I reached out for the next letter and slid it across the table to her.  She glared at me and opened it sullenly. 

 

 

 

 

*-*-*

 

“The other Girls are going to hear…”

 

Sun Ye’s breath was hot in my ear, but her words only made me want to touch her more, push her more.  I continued to nibble my way down her neck and if her moans were any clue she wasn’t going to be complaining about my ministrations anymore. 

 

“Well I guess we better be really quiet,” I whispered in my deep voice. 

 

My hand trailed up her inner thigh as I nipped along her collarbone.  Sun Ye bit her lower lip in attempt to stop the moan from escaping her throat.  She was only partially succeeding at covering up her pleasure at my actions.  And I was far beyond caring.  Her obvious enjoyment was only fueling my desire. 

 

I had to have her.  I had to see her face as I pushed her right up to the edge.  She whimpered and I knew that I had been thinking too much and had been neglecting my needy girlfriend.  My body slid enticingly against hers as I moved up towards her face again.  As soon as I was close she arched up on our bed to meet my lips.  Our kiss was deep and passionate, very different from the usual ones we gave each other.  I returned it with equal fervor.  Our tongues clashed as we fought for dominance, my position on top of her giving me the distinct advantage.

 

A slight gasp escaped my lips as she broke our wordless fight to flip our positioning.  My back slammed into the mattress as she turned the tables and took the reigns.  I didn’t have time to be surprised.  In fact I wasn’t capable of forming much thought on anything at this point.  Sun Ye’s hands tickled their way up my ribcage as she kissed her way across my jaw line. 

 

“And here I always thought that I would be the one to take the lead,” I managed to mumble out in between my own gasps of pleasure.

 

I could feel her chuckle into the crook of my neck.

 

“And let you have all the fun?”

 

Her hands pushed even higher up under my shirt and I could feel my breath catch.  Maybe letting her take the lead wasn’t all that bad…

 

“This is all pretty fun from where I’m laying right now too,” I said with a smirk.

 

She shot me a mischievous grin of her own in exchange.  My eyes followed her as she pulled back off my body until she was straddling my waist.  I could feel myself heat up under her appraising gaze as she stared down at me. 

 

“Oh this is going to be more than ‘pretty fun’…” she whispered.

 

I watched as her fingers looped under the edges of her sleeping shirt and started to pull it slowly up her body.  She was taunting me and I loved every second of it.  I watched as she exposed more and more of her silky skin to my view.  The taught fabric of her shirt caught on the swell of her chest, slowing the shirts ascent and hiding what I desperately wanted to see from view.  She looped her fingers further under the shirt to lift it off herself completely…

 

 

*-*-*

 

“Yubin!  Yubin are you okay?”

 

My eyes jolted open and I found myself staring up into Sun Ye’s worried face.  She was hovering over me just like in my dream, but disappointingly more clothed.  I blinked rapidly just to make sure that I was in fact awake.  So all that with Sun Ye was just another of my increasingly heated dreams…

 

“You were tossing around quite a bit last night and mumbling to yourself… You know it’s just a dream right?  It can’t hurt you now,” Sun Ye tried her best to comfort me.

 

Just a dream.  A terribly sexy dream.  That I was totally having in bed right next to the subject of said terribly sexy dream.

 

I immediately tensed up under Sun Ye’s worried gaze.  Crap.  I knew that sharing a bed with her was going to be trouble.  I didn’t think that I would have one of _those_ dreams my first night with her though.  Just my luck.  Sleeping next to her was too much for my senses.

 

My eyes drifted closed again as I thought back on my dream.  I wasn’t sure if I was more upset at myself for having it or Sun Ye for waking me up.  Right when I was getting to the good part too…

 

“Um when I was muttering, you didn’t happen to hear what I said or anything?”

 

Sun Ye arched her eyebrow at me.

 

“I wish I could say that I heard everything you said, but unfortunately your secrets are safe.  For now at least,” she said with a smile.

 

A grateful sigh escaped my chest.  Secrets were the least of my worries right now.  It would have been downright embarrassing if I said anything from my dream last night.  In fact it was a little nerve wracking to have her hovering over me when I was still rather excited from my dream.  I definitely couldn’t just lie here next to her right now. 

 

“I… Need to brush my teeth.  Morning breath and all.”

 

Urgh.  Could I be any more awkward?  I didn’t allow myself to think about it any further and scooted off the bed from underneath Sun Ye and darted out the door to the bathroom.  Once inside I quickly locked the door and leaned up against the sink.

 

Was this what every morning was going to be like?  Me waking up after a night of trying to be on my best behavior and her being all doe-eyed and innocent?  This was going to be hell on my nerves. 

 

I turned to the sink and let the water run cold before I splashed it on my face.  The chilling feeling on my skin definitely helped to calm my racing mind and heart.  My exes would find my whole situation right now so amusing.  The totally slick and seductive Yubin cowering in a bathroom because she couldn’t bear to be in bed with her girlfriend.  Granted, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to put the moves on Sun Ye, because I really did.  I just didn’t know if _she_ wanted me to put the moves on her.  Why did this all have to be so damn confusing?

 

 =========

 

 

We had only been in New York City for a day and JYP was already putting us to work.  As soon as we had all woken up and gotten dressed there we were escorted by a staff member to our new language school.  Although we had been studying with a tutor in English before we left Korea, JYP wanted us to enter intensive English lessons to prepare for our debut.  It was something all of us accepted, but didn’t particularly look forward to attending. 

 

Especially me.  As I listened to the teacher drone on and on I couldn’t help but let my mind wander.  I could listen to and understand everything well enough, but after being that immersed in the language during the class I reached a point where I just couldn’t absorb anything anymore.  It was also totally unnerving to sit there and worry about having to prove my knowledge of English.  This class was terrible and I couldn’t focus on it anymore.  I glanced around the room at the other Girls.  Sun Mi seemed to be doodling various things in the margins of her notebook while So Hee watched her disinterestedly.  Ye Eun was openly paying attention to the teacher and was answering questions whenever they were asked.  She was such a goody goody sometimes, but at least it kept the teacher off of my back.  And Sun Ye…

 

I turned my head slightly to my girlfriend as she visibly suppressed a yawn.  Sun Ye seemed to be hit worse by the jetlag than the rest of us.  She didn’t get a lot of sleep usually, but when it was interrupted it played havoc with her system.  I felt bad for her, but I was basically in the same sleep deprived position as her.  Although my sleep loss wasn’t exactly from the jetlag.  My eyes dropped from Sun Ye and I hoped she wouldn’t notice the light blush that covered my cheeks.  I totally couldn’t be thinking about my dreams in this classroom.

 

“How do you manage to stay awake throughout so many hours of this class,” she whispered to me quietly.  “I can barely keep my eyes open at this point.”

 

“My secret is that I’m paying more attention to my company than the class,” I said with a smirk.

 

Sun Ye grinned back at me and scooted her chair closer to mine.  I moved my textbook a little closer in front of her to make it look like she needed to share with me.  Oh yeah, I could be a very good student if I put my mind to it.  She craned her neck to look at my book as she played along with our whole act.  My eyes drifted down the line of her neck as it was displayed tauntingly in front of me. 

 

“You know,” I whispered, “If you ever need a special tutor for English, I know this hot girl who used to live in California who could give you private lessons…”

 

“Oh really?  I might to take this ‘hot girl’ up on her offer,” she joked back with a smile. 

 

I reached under the table and grabbed Sun Ye’s hand.  She laced her fingers through mine with a smile.  The whole sensation was fantastic.  I was secretly holding hands with my girlfriend while my teacher droned on and on about the tenses of verbs.  It was enough to let me forget that we were internationally renowned pop idols and not just normal students. 

 

“And since Miss Kim is looking so studious over there, maybe she can answer the question I have written on the board this time?  It might be nice for Miss Park to have a break.”

 

The teacher’s voice brought me out of my happy zone.  I glanced up at the whiteboard where she had written a sample sentence.  Past tense of the word ‘come?  I knew this.  It was definitely somewhere in my brain, but I just hated being put on the spot like this.  This whole situation was doing nothing for my insecurities about the language.  My hand warmed comfortingly as Sun Ye squeezed it.  With her assurance the English came rushing back to me.

 

“Um I think the past tense would be ‘came,’” I answered slowly in English.

 

The teacher looked surprised at my correct answer. 

“That’s correct Miss Kim, good job.  I honestly didn’t think you were paying attention anymore.  In fact, we have been working hard for the past three hours.  I had been told to keep drilling you for five hours, but why don’t we take a little break.  You girls should walk around a bit and… wake up.”

 

I followed the teacher’s gaze and saw that Sun Mi had fallen asleep on So Hee’s shoulder.  Seriously?  And I was the one getting picked on for looking like a poor student?  The teacher just shook her head lightly and walked out into the hallway to allow us some time to ourselves.  I relaxed lightly and leaned back in my chair.  God this class was more draining than any of my college ones.  How was I ever going to make it through daily doses of this?

 

Sun Ye stood up and dragged her hand slowly out of mine.  I instantly felt even more drained without her touch to support me.  She shot me an apologetic smile before she headed a few seats over to where Sun Mi was sleeping.  Of course.  She had to go play the perfect leader didn’t she?

 

“Hey Sun Mi,” she said as she shook the smaller girl awake.  “You have to wake up now.  We still have two more hours of class for today.”

 

Sun Mi rolled slightly on the chair and buried her head even deeper into So Hee’s shoulder.  So Hee glared at her leader for making her plight even worse. 

 

“I don’t wanna wake up.  Class is no fun,” Sun Mi whined.

 

Sun Ye considered the younger girl for a moment before she answered.  My girl definitely had some sort of ace up her sleeve.

 

“How about this Sun Mi.  We will all work together and finish the rest of this class with the most energy we can spare.  Just like we would at any dance or voice practice.  Once we are all done working hard we’ll head back to the apartment and I will make us a giant feast of a dinner, okay?  I won’t even make you help me in the kitchen.”

 

Sun Mi lifted her head cautiously off of So Hee’s shoulder. 

 

“Promise?” she said with her best puppy dog eyes.

 

            “Promise,” Sun Ye returned with a smile.  “Now let’s all work hard to learn as much English as we can before our debut.”

 

Ye Eun rolled her eyes and let out a sarcastic snort.

 

“Says the girl who was falling asleep for most of class,” Ye Eun said jokingly.  “I think I was the only one out of us who was remotely paying attention. 

 

Sun Ye stood up from where she had crouched next to Sun Mi and walked back over to her seat.  Her hand linked itself with mine automatically. 

 

“Oh I think I’ll manage to stay awake from this point on,” she smiled at Ye Eun.

 

Did I mention English class was so much better than college classes?

 

 

 ==========

 

 

“When you promised that you would make us dinner, you never mentioned that you would be doing it sooo slooowly!”  Sun Mi whined loudly.

 

From my side I could see Sun Ye glare into the living room at the younger girl lounging on the couch. 

 

“You said that you wanted bulgogi, and it takes a while to marinate the meat.  Just be patient and you’ll have more food than you’ll know what to do with!” Sun Ye yelled angrily back at Sun Mi.

 

I chuckled as I turned back to the cutting board laid out on the counter and continued chopping vegetables to put into our vegetable stew.  Sun Ye had kept her word and the second we had gotten home she had stormed into the kitchen and started creating a masterpiece of a feast.  Ye Eun, So Hee, and Sun Mi had opted out of helping to prepare the meal and had each taken one of the three couches in the living room to themselves.  Apparently flipping through all the different American TV channels was far more interesting than helping their leader with dinner.  Which was fine with me as it gave the two of us some much needed alone time.

 

“You don’t have to help you know,” Sun Ye murmured at my side.  “You should just go have a relaxing evening with the other Girls in the living room.  I know that the English class was hardest on you…”

 

My hand twitched slightly on the knife I was using to chop vegetables.  Even though she was mentioning my discomfort about using English when the other Girls were distracted it was still a little jolting.  I looked back into the living room and could see the others excitedly watching American Idol.  Well if they were absorbed in their own little world…

 

I lay down the knife and walked behind Sun Ye.  Leaning against her back, I picked the potato she was peeling out of her hands.  With a light push I rolled it across the counter and out of her reach.  I didn’t want her to be distracted by this dinner preparation.

 

“Well I think I managed that class just fine.  It certainly didn’t hurt that I had a lovely classmate playing footsies with me the whole time,” I said quietly as I held Sun Ye in my arms.

 

I could feel the heat that radiated off of her neck as she blushed at my actions.  This brought a smile to my face and only made my courage grow.  I buried my face in the corner of her neck and pressed a feather-light kiss on the exposed skin there. 

 

“Yubin, we really should be making dinner… and uh not doing this in front of the other Girls,” she said shakily.

 

She knew as well as I did that nothing was going to move those girls from their lounging positions on the couch short of a totally finished meal.  And her happy sighs at my light kisses were only further enforcing the fact that her heart really wasn’t in her complaint.  This was starting to turn out slightly like my dream from this morning and it was only making everything more exciting.  Yet I knew that I had to risk my happy moment with Sun Ye for the greater good.

 

“So if we shouldn’t be doing this in the kitchen, then perhaps we can pick it up later tonight?  In our… bedroom?”  I asked cautiously. 

 

Sun Ye sighed a much less happy sigh at that question and turned herself around in my arms to face me.  At least we were going to talk about this whole bedroom situation. 

 

“I don’t think that would be a good idea either, Yubin…”

 

I could see her eyes dart over my shoulder to the three Girls gathered around the television.  So this was about them was it?  Sun Ye must have seen my worried expression because she traced her hands up my arms to lay them on shoulders in a comforting fashion.

 

“I’m the leader of this group and I have to set an example for them.  Especially Sun Mi and So Hee.  Can you imagine what it would be like if they thought they could get away with the things I want to do with you?  Fans may joke about liking the idea of the Wonder Girls pairing up, but if that was all real?  People would have a very different reaction, Yubin.  We would find ourselves losing a large portion of our Korean fan base.  I have to be the voice of reason for us, to show that we can’t just flaunt our relationships.”

 

Her point was solid and I knew that.  It was something that I had worried about constantly at the beginning of our relationship.  My worries had gradually disappeared as I fell more and more in love with Sun Ye.  Clearly it was something that still concerned her though.  I smiled sadly at her to let her know how disappointed I was, but that I understood.

 

My gesture only caused her to blush and shift uncomfortably in my arms.

 

“You have no idea how hard it is sometimes…  You always joke around about being the sexiest member of the Wonder Girls, but…”

 

She leaned forward against me and nipped my earlobe.  My knees felt like jello and I could feel the blood rushing to my face.

 

“You really are the sexiest girl I’ve ever met,” she whispered huskily into my ear.  “And sometimes not being able to fully enjoy that fact… is so very hard.”

 

And before I knew it, she was standing two feet away and peeling potatoes like nothing had ever happened.  I stumbled forward, my boneless legs the only sign that she was ever pressed up against me.  What the hell…?  Wasn’t _I_ the one teasing _her_ a few minutes ago?  I had let her turn the tables on me so easily.  Damn this girl was good.  But I wasn’t going to be deterred that easily.

 

I used my shaky legs to follow Sun Ye back to the counter. 

 

“You realize that just by admitting this you have made it that much harder for me to back off.”

 

Sun Ye’s eyes flicked over at me knowingly.  I closed in on her and leaned her back against the counter.  My hands landed down on either side of her so that she couldn’t dart away from me again.  I pressed even closer to her so that she could feel my breath on her lips.  She was practically shivering with anticipation in front of me, but I could still see her nervously looking back into the living room at the Girls around the television.

 

“Don’t consider this matter dropped.  It is just postponed for now,” I said huskily as my lips hovered above hers. 

 

Sun Ye leaned up to press her lips to mine, but I ducked away and skipped back to my chopping board and vegetables.  I could hear her let out a shaky breath as she continued to lean against the counter. 

 

“That was just mean,” she muttered as she went back to her dinner preparation.

 

“Not any meaner than what you just pulled with me,” I retorted with a smirk. 

 

 ==========

 

 

Sun Ye raised her eyebrow as she watched me nervously stare at the bed.  Our bed. 

 

“Okay, Yubin.  Stop making a big deal about it and just get in.”

 

I sighed as I pulled back the covers on my side of the bed and carefully lay down, making sure to stay as far away from Sun Ye as possible.  She rolled her eyes at me and I glared at her for her careless attitude.

 

“You are acting like an awkward twelve year old boy,” she said with a chuckle. 

 

“Hey, I’m just doing my best to preserve your sterling reputation, _Leader_.  And I can’t guarantee what my actions will be if I get any closer to you in this bed.”

 

Sun Ye gave me an understanding look.  From her confession earlier I knew that she was probably having just as much trouble as I was right now.  She just didn’t want to admit it. 

 

My breath caught in my throat as Sun Ye wiggled her way across the bed until she was lightly touching my side. 

 

“Maybe we can just start out small, you know.  Nothing major, just maybe cuddling?” she whispered to me.

 

Tonight was shaping up to be very awesome indeed.  I had figured that we were just going to awkwardly avoid touching each other all night again.  Honestly, I didn’t know how well I was going to be able to control myself if I continued touching her, but at this point I was beyond caring.  If Sun Ye was going to give me permission to hold her, I wasn’t going to turn that down.

 

I shifted closer to her on the bed and tentatively slid my arms around her and pulled her back against my chest.  Her form made a perfect fit against me.  What a great end to the day.

 

“Okay what did I just tell you Sun Mi!  No touching below the waist!  How many times do I have to say this to you!?”

 

So Hee’s muffled yells echoed through the wall into our bedroom.  I chuckled lightly into Sun Ye’s hair as we listened to the muffled thumps and bangs of the predictable scuffle that was happening next door.

 

“See this is why we can’t do anything, Yubin,” Sun Ye laughed lightly.  “These walls are as thin as paper.”

 

My arms tightened around Sun Ye and I pulled her closer to me.  I could live with just spooning my girlfriend for now, no loud noises required.  All I had to do was will myself not to have any of those dreams while holding her…

 

“I think I can live with this for now,” I whispered to the girl in my arms.

 

 =========

 

 

 _04/03/2009_

 _my cuddly Sun Ye,_

 _Well if our nights keep going like this, I’m going to have to change my letter writing time officially to the morning.  I don’t think I’ll be able to pull myself away from our bed any more if you keep letting me hold you at night.  That’s fine, if I need to write to you I’ll just wake up a little earlier to write before my morning shower._

 _Yesterday was pretty amazing.  I think I will totally be able to get used to New York City if everyday here is going to be like this.  I wasn’t expecting to like our mandatory English class very much at all, but having you there with me made it so much more bearable.  I was really nervous going into that class, sitting in that room, being judged by the teacher for what I may or may not know.  It was really nerve-wracking.  You made it all so much better.  And even kind of fun.  Being in that room I could almost imagine us being normal students, living that regular school life that we both managed to miss out on having.  I find myself actually looking forward to going to class again today, just to dip myself back into that false reality._

 _But school isn’t the only fun place for me now.  Judging from your recent confession about being… deeply attracted to me… I might be enjoying our new home a lot more now, too.  Okay, I realize that you said that we couldn’t act on our mutual desires, but eventually something is bound to happen between us.  It’s only a matter of time. After all I’m far too sexy and irresistible for you to put off our future encounter for long.  Obviously it won’t be while any of the other Girls are around.  When we were in the kitchen last night I could see how distracted you were by their presence.  I can’t have you that unfocused when I finally get my alone time with you.  I’m definitely going to want all of your attention on me._

 _So now it’s all just a matter of time, right?  We both want it, want each other badly enough.  So who is going to crack first?  Will it be me or you?  I feel like either way, we won’t lose.  I’ll just have to will myself not to have any more sexy dreams about you for now.  As delightful as those have been in the past, they really aren’t much use to me anymore.  Now I’ll just have to work to make my dreams a reality._

 _-your excited girlfriend Yubin_


	13. Chapter 13:  Anticipation is the World’s Best Aphrodisiac

I shuffled through the completed letters stacked on the table nervously.  There had been a lot of them over the course of my relationship with Sun Ye and I couldn’t remember what I had written exactly.  But I did know that there weren’t that many written in America before a lot of… stuff… happened between us.  I so did not want to think about any of that; those memories were better off left buried.  If I started thinking of Sun Ye in that light again… it just wouldn’t be good. 

 

Sun Ye dropped the most recent letter into the stack that was being shuffled in my hands. 

 

“Oh my goodness Yubin,” she teased me with a smirk.  “You were just like a panther on the prowl, just waiting for your chance to pounce on me.  Little did I know that you would soon have your opportunity to snatch away all my innocence…”

 

She sighed in an overly dramatic fashion.  I tried to will the blood not to rush to my face.  This new Sun Ye was so much more confident than the one I used to know.  And she was totally bringing up all the… stuff… I didn’t want to think about. 

 

“Urgh, I totally wasn’t that bad,” I complained half-heartedly.  “Besides it was partially your fault as well.  Who holds out on her girlfriend for six months!?  It’s hardly any wonder I was thinking like that.”

 

Sun Ye just grinned at me like the Cheshire Cat.  Her fingers traced over the quickly diminishing pile of unread letters in front of her. 

 

“Well I can only imagine there is a very special ‘morning after’ letter coming up soon in this pile.  You’ve certainly written about less important things.  There is no way you would be able to resist writing to me after our first night together.”

 

Yeah, like I was going to give her the satisfaction of admitting she was right.  I let my gaze drift back over to the coffee counter where my fan was trying to look like he was cleaning while watching me.  Sun Ye just snorted in response to my evasive answer.  I should have known that wouldn’t work on her.

 

“Well if you aren’t going to be big enough to give me an honest answer then I guess I will have to read the next letter to find out.  There is no way you would be able to resist writing about that how I ran my nails down your back as you screamed…”

 

“OH MY GOD Sun Ye!”  I hissed at her angrily.  “We are in a public restaurant!  What the hell?  What if someone heard!?”

 

Sun Ye just smiled at me devilishly in response.

 

“Yeah, cause your fanboy over there is just so well versed in Korean.”

 

Okay, so she sort of had a point there.  But she couldn’t just go around saying things like that.  Mostly because I just didn’t want to remember them… Damn her for making this so much harder than it had to be. 

 

I looked back at Sun Ye and she was already opening the next letter with a giant smirk on her face.  What an infuriating… compelling… woman.  She pushed my buttons in all the right ways.  I wanted to be able to wipe that grin off her face, but I knew that the next letter was most likely going to hold everything she wanted to find.  And probably more.

 

 

==========

 

 

It felt like it had been forever since we had been in the recording studio.  The last time we had done any single prep had been with ‘Nobody’ over half a year ago in Korea.  Yet here we were again with the same song, but in English.  I couldn’t help but have a giant, unsettling sense of déjà vu over the whole situation.  The rest of the Girls felt the same way, and being in a foreign, New York City recording studio wasn’t helping any at all.

 

“Okay we are going to record the refrain again since we had a little feedback with the microphones.  So let’s hear your lovely vocals!” the staff member said over the speakers from the sound booth in his fast paced English. 

 

I could see Sun Ye’s eyebrows knit together as she tried to piece together what she had just heard.  It particularly bothered her that she couldn’t understand the technician’s English enough to direct us.  This whole process would be going so much more smoothly if they would just give us the instructions in Korean.  However, JYP had insisted on us having an authentic American recording experience, language barrier and all.  The fact that he was watching us from above in the sound booth only made all of this more nerve-wracking.  I guess he wanted to see the end result of the past month of tutors and intensive English classes.

 

“Um I think they just want us to sing the refrain again,” Ye Eun suggested quietly.  “Although I have no clue what ‘feedback’ is…”

 

I gave a small sigh of relief.  That was as much as I had put together as well.  Some of the words the sound technicians were throwing at us were on a totally different level than our classroom English.  It was somewhat comforting to know that I had understood as much as our number one student.

 

We made our way around to the recording mics that hung from the ceiling in the tiny studio.  Just a few more lines and we would be done with the English ‘Nobody’ single.  The backup music queued in our headphones and we found the rhythm.

 

“I want Nobody, Nobody, but you~”

 

The words rolled off all our tongues naturally.  We had been singing these words constantly for the past few weeks.  The English was almost as natural to us as the Korean from all our practice.  We knew as soon as we finished the re-recording of that section that we had a perfect take.  Sun Ye looked up at the sound booth with hopeful eyes.

 

“That was good… right?” she asked in shaky English.

 

From my vantage point on the studio floor I could see JYP and the sound technicians talking and listening to the segment we had just redone.  If their happy smiles were any indication it seemed like we did in fact get a perfect recording.

 

The technician flicked on his microphone and shot us all a thumbs up.

 

“That was perfect, girls.  Now we just need to get a good final recording of Sun Mi and So Hee’s solos.  We want to try some new pacing and filters out on them.  We have good takes from all the rest of you, so you three can take a break.”

 

This time Sun Ye wasn’t the only one looking confused at the recording team’s technical and speedy English.  I tried to run through what he had said to us in my mind, but I couldn’t pick anything out clearly other than Sun Mi and So Hee’s names.  I was too tired for this.  I glanced over at Ye Eun for some sort of clue, but her exhausted face let me know that she too was far beyond being able to interpret.

 

Luckily, JYP stepped up to the microphone to translate for us.

 

“Ye Eun, Yubin, and Sun Ye; come up here for a break.  Sun Mi and So Hee will be re-recording their solos.”

 

Well that was simple enough.  Sun Mi shot us a pleading look as the three of us drifted towards the door to the sound booth. 

 

“Noooo!  Why are we the only ones rerecording?  I wanna relax like you guys,” she whined.

 

“Look at the bright side,” I said with a smile.  “At least you aren’t alone.  You still have your darling So Hee, right?”

 

So Hee sent me a glare that could have frozen water.  I waved at her cheekily as I disappeared with the others up into the booth; the soundproof door cutting off all the noises of the ensuing So Hee/Sun Mi scuffle.  Yup, Sun Mi was her problem now.  Hopefully they would be professional enough to finish the recording quickly.  We had been here in the studio every day for the past week and we all wanted a break from the tiny room.

 

I glanced around the sound booth at all the equipment and staff members.  My eyes soon fell upon Sun Ye, who was relaxing on a couch against the back wall with Ye Eun.  I gravitated towards her and slipped into place by her side.  She leaned into my shoulder slightly as we settled in to watch the last bit of recording.

 

“Why are you trying to, to make me leave ya…”

 

Sun Mi’s voice rang through the sound booth as we watched her sing in to the studio microphone.  Sun Mi daydreamed through all our English lessons more than any of the rest of us.  It was still surprising to hear her fluidly sing our new lyrics.

 

“Our debut is almost here,” Sun Ye whispered at my side.

 

“Terrifying isn’t it?” I mumbled back.

 

“Yeah and we are almost done with this too,” Ye Eun interjected.  “Then comes the really hard part.”

 

“Interviews, lives, promotions,” I named off the top of my head.  “All things that were stressful in Korea, but now we have to do them in English.  For people who don’t know or care who we are.”

 

We all sat there silently as we continued to watch So Hee and Sun Mi recording.  The atmosphere felt heavy.  This was really the start of our US career.  We had so much ahead of us.  There was nothing quite as daunting as starting from scratch.  Again.

 

JYP stepped up to the communicating microphone with a big smile.  That could only mean that they had nailed it.  Sun Ye let out a relieved sigh next to me.  At least we wouldn’t be stuck in the studio anymore. 

 

“Good job Girls.  You did great.  Now join everyone else up in the sound booth,” he instructed.

 

Sun Mi looked ecstatic to be able to leave the confined room and So Hee looked just as excited to no longer be stuck in the small space with her eccentric, touchy-feely friend.  I watched them skip up the stairs to enter the booth with a smile.

 

“Alright, I know I have been pushing you all really hard with this recording, even harder than I did with Korean ‘Nobody,’” JYP began.  “But I think what we have sounds perfect.  America won’t know what hit them.  Now I have arranged a special treat for you Girls since you’ve been working so hard.  You have the rest of today and the following two days off to relax and explore the city.  Once you get to the car outside you will find a staff member with our company credit card.  He will accompany you out on the town to do whatever you want tonight.”

 

Ye Eun’s face lit up like a kid at Christmas.

 

“Whoa, so you mean we could eat as much as we want at a totally swanky restaurant?!”

 

“Have fun Girls,” JYP simply answered with a smile.

 

I looked over at Sun Ye with a shocked face.  She looked equally as surprised as I did.  JYP had never done anything quite like this before.  He must have felt really guilty about us being shut up in a studio with only English staff members.  It was a sweet gesture to give us all the time off, but I wasn’t sure if he knew what he was getting into by giving 5 teenage girls full spending access to the company credit card. 

 

While Sun Ye and I were in a state of shock the other three had already raced to the door to the studio.  I couldn’t even imagine what thoughts were making Sun Mi look that devilishly excited.  This would not end well for JYP at all.

 

“Um earth to all spoilsports,” Ye Eun called back at us.  “I believe we have a whole ton of free food we could be eating right now.  Move your butts!”

 

No point in hanging around and watching JYP and the sound staff edit the song.  I grabbed Sun Ye’s hand and we ran out the door after the other three.  My mind was racing at all the possibilities of the credit card and us.  This meant I could totally get that new jacket I was eying up when we went shopping the other day.  I looked over at Sun Ye as we ran excitedly down the staircase.  She seemed a lot more pensive about this new development.  It couldn’t be for lack of things to buy; I saw her eyeing up some Prada purses the other day and knew she would buy them if given a chance. 

 

We flew out the doors to the recording building and headed straight toward our waiting car.  The driver was patiently standing outside the vehicle waiting for us. 

 

“Mister Park has informed me of the plans for the evening.  I have the card already and I’m all set to take you wherever you ladies want to go tonight,” the driver politely said to us.

 

“Oh my goodness,” Ye Eun babbled.  “There are just so many choices.  We could go to the Four Seasons or Le Cirque!  Or maybe even…”

 

“Let’s not even go to dinner,” So Hee cut in.  “We could get a lot more spending in if we just go shopping.  Think of all the designer clothing we could buy.”

 

“That’s all boring!  Let’s go on an adventure!  We could totally go scuba diving in the Hudson!” yelled Sun Mi.

 

I just watched silently as all the Girls seemed to enter a no-holds-barred argument over where we were going to spend JYP’s money.  There really were a lot of good ideas being thrown around if you ignored some of Sun Mi’s crazy suggestions.  Sun Ye lightly ran her fingers across my hand and I realized that she hadn’t put forth any ideas for our night out. 

 

“Why don’t you guys all go out and do as much as you can,” she suggested.  “I’m feeling a little worn out and I don’t think I would be able to stay awake, even with all the excitement.  I’m going to just get a taxi back to our apartment and turn in early.”

 

She had seemed a little tired when we were recording, but not exhausted enough that it should hold her back from our surprise vacation.  Everyone else seemed just as shocked as me.  I looked over at her and raised my eyebrow questioningly.  Sun Ye just stared at me expectantly and flashed me a knowing smile.

 

Oh.  OOOHHH.

 

“Um yeah that actually sounds pretty good to me,” I adlibbed quickly.  “I’m actually pretty beat too.  I might turn in early.  It isn’t often we get a chance for a full nights sleep.”

 

So Hee scoffed at our rather boring decision. 

 

“Suit yourself.  But don’t come crying to me when you see my new Vivienne earrings.”

 

I glanced back over at Sun Ye who was grinning at me for my decision to stay behind with her.  Yeah, I could definitely live without that jacket. 

 

Ye Eun coughed into her hand to draw our attention over to herself.

 

“Well you two have fun _sleeping_.  Make sure you get plenty of rest tonight.  Cause you guys are just _so_ tired,” she said as sarcasm dripped from every word.  “We shouldn’t wake you up because we won’t be back until really late.”

 

Sun Ye shot a grateful look at her best friend, regardless of her mocking tone.  Did this mean that I owed Ye Eun another favor?  Ye Eun waved off her friend’s thanks and started to herd the terrible twosome into the company car.  They were only too willing to get started on their own nighttime adventure.

 

The two of us watched the car drive away quietly.  Sun Ye slowly slipped her hand into mine and I felt myself warm up instantly.

 

“Ready to go home?” she said in a shockingly deep voice.

 

“Oh you have no idea,” I responded huskily.

 

I was already in the street hailing a cab.

 

 

=========       

 

Sun Ye and I paused at the door to our apartment.  The tension in the air was thick and it seemed like neither of us had the courage to really even look at each other.  I dug into my pocket and brought out the keys to the door and twirled them listlessly in my hands. 

 

“We could probably go out on the town ourselves, get some dinner or something,” I murmured to Sun Ye.

 

I wanted… no.  I _needed_ her to read into my words.  If we went inside the apartment, there would be no peaceful meal or lounging in front of the TV.  There would be no stopping what would happen behind that door. 

 

Sun Ye put her hand on top of my restless ones and drew the key to the door. 

 

“I think I would rather stay in for the night,” she whispered.

 

Her hands trembled on mine as the key unlocked the door.  She was nervous about this.  I reached up and tipped her chin up, forcing her eyes to meet mine.  I had to see that she was sure about this.  She shivered at my touch, but she looked at me confidently.  Her eyes were, large, shining and filled with some indescribable emotion.  There was no fear in her face. 

 

That was all the confirmation I needed.  I swung the door open and pulled Sun Ye inside after me.  The second the door clicked closed I had my arms around her.  She welcomed the embrace and immediately found my lips with her own.  My head tilted to allow her better access to my mouth and she moved to take advantage of it.  Her tongue slid against the line of my lips and searched for entrance to my mouth.  I was only too happy to oblige.  My mouth moved hungrily, meeting her tongue with my own as we fought against each other, exploring like we never had before.

 

Everything about this felt new.  We had made out before many times in her room back in Seoul on our nights together, but never like this.  Our kisses now were filled with emotion, with passion, each of us just building the other up for what was to come.  Obviously we both had pent up our desires for long enough that they were all rising to the surface now.  I had never felt anything this intense before, not in my dreams of Sun Ye or even with any of my other previous girlfriends.  The sheer anticipation of this moment was heightening all of my senses. 

 

I felt Sun Ye’s legs buckle as she was backed up against the end of one of the living room couches.  She fell backwards gracefully, never breaking contact with me, and dragged me down on top of her.  The new horizontal positioning only made it easier for me to take the lead as I pressed myself up against her.  This was my chance to do things I had only dreamed of previously.  My heart raced as I trailed my fingers up Sun Ye’s sides, my mouth never ceasing it’s appraisal of her soft lips.  The closer my hands got to Sun Ye’s chest, the more my actions slowed.  I had to give her time to back out, even if she had previously implied that she wanted this. 

 

“Yubin,” Sun Ye breathlessly muttered into my mouth, “If we are gonna do this, let’s just do it.  Stop wimping out.  I don’t think my… body can take that right now.”

 

I pulled back from her slightly to offer her a weak-willed glare.

 

“I’m so not wimping out.  I was just trying to be considerate.  I somehow doubt that you’ve done something like this before and I wanted to give you room to… escape… if you got scared.”

 

Sun Ye blushed a little and turned her head to the side at my statement.

 

“No, I haven’t done this before.  But that doesn’t mean that I’m just going to run away either.  I want this…”

 

She turned and looked up into my eyes.  I knew she could see the desire there.  I definitely wanted this too. 

 

“Have you… have you done this before?  Um, with a girl?” she asked me nervously.

 

Crap.  How to answer this question.  My previous history was something that had never really come up before, mostly because I always made an attempt to never bring it up.  It was very much a toss up on how I should answer this question while I was straddling my current, gorgeous-but-innocent girlfriend.

 

“Yeah,” I answered truthfully.  “I’ve done this before.  With a girl.  Um several girls.”

 

Sun Ye looked at me with unreadable eyes.

 

“Not at the same time though!” I nervously stammered back.  “They were all a while ago and none of them were really special.  Not like you are to me…”

 

This seemed to make her happy because the next thing I knew I was being pulled into another heated kiss.  Obviously she didn’t want to back out of tonight.  My hands continued moving further up her sides to their destination.  My right hand started to trace lightly under her breast as I moved my lips against hers.  She moaned into my mouth, which only encouraged me to touch her more.  My hand closed around her and she arched up back off the couch into my grasp.  I moved to kiss the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her neck.  Here I stayed and nibbled as she whimpered at the combination attack of my lips and my hand on her chest.  Her neckline was definitely her weak point and I fully intended to exploit that, not caring if my actions left lasting marks.  I was going to make tonight the most memorable night of her life. 

 

I tickled the curve of her neck with my tongue and began to close my lips on her racing pulse that I could feel underneath her skin.  She shuddered and closed her arms around my back, dragging her fingers teasingly down it.  I shifted my position in her arms and moved to give attention to the other side of her neck.  Her nails dug even further into my back as she enjoyed the sensation.  I continued my ministrations and let her get more worked up from my touch. 

 

The fact that I was the only one being aggressive wasn’t bothering me at all.  With all my previous girlfriends I would demand their attention and want to feel pleasure for myself.  But not with Sun Ye.  I wanted this entire night to be about her and her enjoyment.  Besides, it wasn’t like I wasn’t getting any satisfaction out of everything so far.  The fact that I had Sun Ye pinned underneath me, shuddering at my every touch was doing wonders for my own desires.  There wasn’t anyone else in the world that she wanted near her like this and I was going to be her first. 

 

Sun Ye bit my bottom lip lightly and dragged her teeth off of it to catch my attention.  She knew I loved it when she did that.

 

“Yubin.  Bedroom.  Now.”

 

My body followed her command automatically.  I backed off of her and stood up, pulling her to her feet against me.  Now that we had started touching each other, it didn’t seem like we would ever be able to stop.  Hands and lips were everywhere as we slowly edged back to our bedroom.  I ducked out of one of Sun Ye’s kisses and pulled back out of her embrace slightly.  She shivered at the suddenly lack of warmth from my body, but I smiled at her comfortingly.  Reaching down, I grasped at the edge of my t-shirt and pulled it up over my head in a smooth motion. 

 

I could hear Sun Ye’s breath hitch in her chest as her eyes explored my shirtless form.  She must have enjoyed what she saw because she had frozen in place in the hallway with a light blush gracing her cheeks.  I wanted to see if I could keep that blush on her all night. 

 

“As much as I love you staring at me like that, this part would probably work better if we were both undressed.”

 

Sun Ye’s blush deepened as I reached forward and grabbed the bottom of her shirt as well.  I tugged lightly on it and she let it slip up over her head.  It quickly found its place on the hallway floor with my discarded partner.  I didn’t even allow myself a chance to look at her; I simply closed the gap between us and met her mouth with my own.  We had been separated for far too long and it didn’t feel right.  There would be time to admire my lovely girlfriend later, when even more pieces of clothing were missing. 

 

We made our way drunkenly through the hallway, neither of us caring when we bumped into walls or doors.  All we cared about right now was the sensation of each other as we felt and kissed our way around.  My mind blackened out into a passionate haze as I pushed Sun Ye back into our bedroom.  She instinctively crawled backwards up onto the bed as soon as she felt it behind her.  I followed, never for a second separating my lips from their place against her own.  Sun Ye lay back onto the bed completely, allowing me to lie protectively on top of her.  My body shivered as she ran her fingers up my bare legs.  When had I taken off my pants?  I couldn’t even remember.  Nor could I remember when I took off Sun Ye’s, but I must have because she was definitely laying underneath me in just her underwear. 

 

I took a moment to gaze at my gorgeous girlfriend.  She blushed even deeper as my eyes traveled from her delicate collarbone down to her lacy blue bra.  My heated gaze slowed here as I took in the view of her chest, perfectly proportioned, but heaving slightly from her heavy breathing.  I traced down her stomach with my fingertips and reveled in her cut abdomen, defined from hours of dance practices and workouts.  She sucked her breath in raggedly as my hand trailed past her belly button.  Obviously she was ready for what was about to come.

 

My hair tickled her face as I leaned in to press kisses to her neck again.  I turned to whisper in her ear while my hands continued to float everywhere on her body. 

 

“Sun Ye… This is your last chance to change your mind about tonight.  I could still back off if you really wanted me to.  But if you don’t… I’m gonna make this a night you will never forget for as long as you live.  So it’s up to you, what do you want?”

 

Sun Ye nudged my head out of the crook of her neck and stared at me through her hooded eyes. 

 

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to,” she whispered huskily. 

 

God I loved this woman.  And I was finally going to get to show her exactly how much I worshipped her.  I tried to make her feel my emotion in every touch, every caress.  For the first time ever I was wholly concerned with someone else’s pleasure and not my own.  This night wasn’t about me; there would be plenty of time for that in the future.  I continued to venerate her body, memorized every single part that I touched or kissed.  My obvious adoration of her only fueled her on towards the end. 

 

Being with Sun Ye exhilarating.  Every little expression she made at my practiced actions only made me reply more passionately.  I pulled her closer to me as I pushed her closer to the edge, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.  She was far beyond being able to answer any of them.  Her arms wrapped tightly around me, nails digging into my back.  I could feel her breath running ragged in my ear as she buried her face in my hair at the side of my neck. 

 

“Yubin…”

 

She called my name and I could feel her coil like a spring in my arms and then relax as she reached her climax.  I moved back up to her face and she pressed a hot kiss to my mouth, chanting my name over and over again like a magic spell.  My heart beat faster knowing that she had very much enjoyed her first time, especially because it was me that brought her all that pleasure.  She was whispering my name and no one else’s. 

 

I reciprocated each of her heated kisses and took in the satisfied look on her face.  Tonight had been a good night indeed.

 

And I had definitely kept that blush on her face until the end.

 

 

========= 

 

Our first time together had obviously unlocked the mental block we both had about being with each other.  For the next few hours we couldn’t seem to get enough.  It was almost like we had to make up for all the lost time that we hadn’t spent in a ‘together’ sense in our bed.  Plus we both obviously had pent up a lot of our more sexual emotions; it was really just a matter of time before they came flooding out. 

 

We had only just reached the point where we were both too worn out to consider going another round.  Now it was just the two of us lounging on our empty bed, the sheets and blanket that used to occupy the space had long since been pushed out of the way by our heated bodies.  I moved to pull Sun Ye’s exhausted form against my own, throwing my arm over her body in a lazy, but possessive manner.  Her bare figure pressed against my naked front and caused a bolt of pleasure to race through me, but I was far too tired to act upon it. 

 

Sun Ye snuggled back against me and sighed contentedly.  I couldn’t help but let a full-fledged grin spread across my face.  This perfect woman was all mine.  I wouldn’t let anyone else touch her.  My arm tightened around Sun Ye instinctively. 

 

The woman in my arms wasn’t the only perfect thing.  The whole evening had been pretty perfect.  I couldn’t think of a single way it could have gone better.  If ever there was a perfect moment in my life, it was this; just laying here with my girlfriend basking in the afterglow of our first night together.  Only one thing could make this any better…

 

I craned my neck off the pillow and angled my mouth so it tickled the outside of Sun Ye’s ear.  It was definitely now or never.

 

“Sun Ye… I love you.”

 

Her eyes fluttered open and she turned her head back to stare at me with wide eyes.  My pulse seemed to slow down as I waited for her response.  She shifted her body in my arms so that she was facing me fully and I could see that the blush that had been gracing her cheeks all night had spread even further. 

 

“It’s about time,” she whispered softly. 

 

She reached up and pulled my head down for a soft kiss, one that was totally different from the passionate ones we had been sharing for the past few hours.  But this was definitely the best one of the evening.  I could read her every emotion in it and it made my heart soar.  She pulled back out of the kiss and stared at me with tears in her eyes. 

 

“I love you too, Yubin.”

 

I had to have been grinning like a goofy teenager because Sun Ye just giggled at me and buried her head in the crook of my neck.  It didn’t matter how silly I looked right now.  The woman whom I loved, and was loved back by, was cuddling in my arms.  This night was definitely perfect. 

 

My hand found the remnants of our sheets where they hung off the bed and I shifted Sun Ye slightly in my embrace so I could pick them up and throw them loosely over us.  Sun Ye murmured appreciatively in my ear, but was far too tired to form real words at this point.  I smiled at her and let her curl against me. 

 

Not even my dreams would be as sweet as tonight.

 

 ==========

 

 

 _05/08/09  - 1:33 AM_

 _my incredibly sexy Sun Ye,_

 _Oh my goodness.  My mind is racing at a pace I can’t even write at.  You.  Me.  Us.  I woke up with you in my arms and I knew I wouldn’t be getting any more sleep tonight.  Turned out it was a very good thing I got up to write you this letter out in the living room.  Once I was in the hallway I saw what a terrible mess we had left everywhere.  We would have gotten so busted if the other three Girls came home and saw our clothes and underwear making a trail back to our bedroom.  Not even Ye Eun could have covered that one up._

 _At the same time, I really don’t care.  I just had the best night of my life, why should I be ashamed of it?  What we did last night was… mind-blowing, life-altering.  Just seeing your face as I brought you to climax for the first time in your life was amazing and only made me desire you all the more.  I’ve had sex with quite a few girls in the past, something I perhaps didn’t particularly advertise when you asked me about it tonight, but rest assured I have never felt anything quite like tonight.  It isn’t even comparable.  I’ve never wanted to please someone as much as I did you.  Hopefully that was obvious when I touched you, and judging from your reaction you didn’t seem to have any complaints._

 _It was definitely the best evening I had ever had even before you took over and pleasured me.  Which, by the way, was also amazing.  You always were a great student.  It seems it only took one go through with me to get every basic mastered.  And you only got better as the night went on… I can only imagine what it is going to be like now, with your ridiculous learning curve.  It makes me look forward to tomorrow night all the more._

 _I mean, this couldn’t possibly have been a one-night thing, right?  I know that I won’t be able to go without your touch on me ever again and I don’t think you will be able to go back to the way we were before either.  After tonight we will have the other Girls back in the apartment again and it would be crazy to just wait around for the next time all three of them just happen to not be around.  We might have to practice being really, really quiet.  Although judging from the noises I made you make last night… that might be pretty difficult._

 _Now that I’m sitting here thinking about the night, maybe it was so much better because I love you.  I always hear people say that sex is better when you truly care about the person you are sleeping with; I guess they are right.  Which I suppose works in the reverse for you as well.  You must have had a great time because you were with the girl you love, too._

 _Oh my goodness if you could see my face right now.  I must be blushing three kinds of red right now, complete with my usual stupid grin.  Can you really blame me though?  You basically made me the happiest girl in the world with your confession that you loved me as well.  Honestly it even out shadowed all the fantastic sex that preceded it.  It’s basically the reason I am still awake right now.  I keep replaying your voice as you said it to me in my mind._

 _Now I should probably be heading back to our bed since my letter is basically done and all our clothes are cleaned up.  Plus you are probably missing my warm embrace.  I know I’m missing yours._

 _-your equally sexy girlfriend, Yubin_

 


	14. Side Chapter 1:  It Must be in the Water

**  
**

 

Ye Eun knew the second she stepped into the car that she was in for a rough evening. 

 

“Alright so first we obviously have to ditch the chaperone,” Sun Mi said in a matter of fact tone.

 

“Wait, WHAT?” Ye Eun hissed angrily back at the younger girl. “We can’t ditch the staff member!  JYP would kill us.  He’s already being nice enough to give us his card for the evening.  Let’s just go and have a nice dinner and be done with it.”

 

“Hah,” So Hee scoffed.  “Yeah right, we are definitely going to go do some serious shopping.  We could eat dinner anytime.”

 

Sun Mi scooted closer to So Hee on the back seat of the JYP car so she could smack the youngest girl lightly.

 

“Shh, the chaperone can’t hear our plans out loud.  He’ll know how to contact JYPE to find us after we knock him out and make our escape.”

 

Ye Eun’s jaw dropped as she stared at the two girls fighting.  There was no way she was going to make it out of this evening unscathed, mentally or physically.

 

“Oh my God, this is so typical,” Ye Eun muttered to herself.  “Sun Ye and Yubin run off to screw each other’s brains out and I get stuck with the Korean Bonnie and Clyde…”

 

“What was that about Binnie and Leader?” Sun Mi asked with a quizzical expression.

 

Of course.  Sun Mi’s radar for overhearing secret conversations was in top form.  Ye Eun was too tired to be making up stories for every random babble she was sure to have for the night. 

 

“So where to you girls want to go first tonight?” the staff member asked curiously from the front seat. 

 

Ye Eun sighed openly.  Saved by the chauffeur.  Looked like she wouldn’t be needing to spin a story to distract Sun Mi for now at least.  She turned to the other girls.  Ye Eun obviously wasn’t running the show on this crazy night out.

 

“Since I guess no one else is going to say anything… We want to go to Saks 5th Avenue on 50th street.  I’m going on a shopping spree,” So Hee ordered.

 

Sun Mi glared at her usual partner in crime.  She obviously wasn’t amused that So Hee had taken control of our adventure for now.  So Hee just glared right back, not letting her friend intimidate her.

 

“Well no one else had any better ideas.”

 

“I have plenty of good ideas!  You guys just won’t listen to them,” Sun Mi whined.

 

The chaperone pulled out of the parking lot and started driving towards the iconic department store.  Ye Eun sighed.  It didn’t look like she would be getting dinner anytime soon.  The only thing she could do at this point was to sit back and make sure that Sun Mi and So Hee didn’t hurt themselves.  Or get arrested… 

 

Anyway, it was fine if So Hee wanted to go shopping for a bit first.  The department store would close long before restaurants would.  And who knew what Sun Mi even had planned.  At least So Hee seemed pretty happy from where she was sitting, smirking at her pouting best friend. 

 

“Look Sun Mi, let’s just have fun shopping for two hours.  That’s all I ask for,” So Hee bartered.  “And then we can go do something that Ye Eun or you want to do.”

 

Sun Mi just looked back at So Hee with her big, puppy-dog eyes.

 

“You promise?”

 

“Yes, I promise Sun Mi.  And I’ll make it as fun for you as I possibly can.”

 

So Hee’s hand closed on top of Sun Mi’s gently, an extra assurance of her promise.  Ye Eun watched the two girls from her seat a few feet away.  Sun Mi and So Hee had always been close, but their handholding was lingering a little long.  Even for them. 

 

“We’re here,” the chaperone announced as the car pulled up into the parking garage outside of Saks. 

 

So Hee jumped out of the car the second it was stopped in the parking spot.  She rarely got this excited about anything, but the prospect of designer clothing was just too much for her.  Sun Mi trailed out after her friend. 

 

“Well here goes nothing,” Ye Eun said with a sigh.  “I better at least get a new bag out of this.”

 

Ye Eun scooted out of the backseat of the JYPE car to find So Hee and Sun Mi already talking to the chaperone. 

 

“Oh man!  Your jacket is totally sweet!  Is this a Prada suit?” Sun Mi asked the driver excitedly as she ran her hands over the silky material. 

 

The driver puffed his chest out importantly.  He was obviously very proud of his outfit. 

 

“Why yes it is!  You have a really good eye.”

 

Sun Mi stepped back and took in the whole look of the chaperone’s outfit. 

 

“I want that.  I’m going to try one of those on for size.  Let’s find one inside.”

 

She grabbed So Hee’s and Ye Eun by the arms and started dragging them towards the shopping paradise across the street.  The chaperone started trailing after us.

 

“Uh you don’t have to bother coming,” Sun Mi yelled over her shoulder.  “We are just planning on window shopping for now.  We’ll meet you back here in two hours!”

 

Just window shopping?  That didn’t seem like something Sun Mi would do.  Ye Eun glanced at So Hee curiously.  Sun Mi’s friend didn’t seem the least bit upset by this new ‘window shopping’ arrangement.  That was even odder.  So Hee just returned Ye Eun’s inquisitive look with a sympathetic smile. 

 

“I don’t think Ye Eun has quite caught on to the situation yet,” So Hee yelled as we dashed across the busy New York street and into Saks. 

 

Sun Mi just tightened her grip on Ye Eun’s arm happily.

 

“We totally just ditched him!  It’s total freedom for the rest of the night for us!” she squealed excitedly.

 

Ye Eun let herself get dragged along stupidly by the two excited younger girls. 

 

“Why would we do that?!” Ye Eun complained in an irritated fashion.  “He had the credit card.”

 

“Not anymore he doesn’t,” Sun Mi said with a devilish smile.

 

She freed her arm from So Hee’s and slowly pulled the shiny platinum card out of her pocket. 

 

“I swiped it from his pocket when I checked out his suit.  Speaking of which, let’s see if we can get me one!”

 

Sun Mi ran excitedly up the escalator that lead to the women’s clothing department, leaving a shocked Ye Eun and gently grinning So Hee behind.

 

“It kind of sucks being stuck in the oldest, leader position doesn’t it,” So Hee quietly said at my side.  “I think for tonight, you should just forget about trying to control her.  We all need a break and she can’t possibly get in _that_ much trouble in one night.”

 

Ye Eun looked over at So Hee, who was watching her friend wave at them from the second story with a smile.

 

“I’m already exhausted and the night has hardly begun.  I don’t know how you manage to keep up with her all the time,” Ye Eun replied.

 

“It’s not something I really even think about,” So Hee said quietly.  “I’m not really the most outgoing person and she honestly asks so little of me.  The least I can do is be there at her side.”

 

As soon as she finished her thought, So Hee dashed up the stairs after her best friend, leaving Ye Eun alone with the meaningful comment buzzing in her ears.  If she didn’t know any better she would have thought that maybe…  No.  That was just crazy.  One couple in the Wonder Girls was enough.  There just wasn’t room for any others… right?

 

 

 ==========

 

            At first shopping was fun enough.  Sun Mi had found some amethyst earrings in her favorite shade of purple.  Ye Eun had found a fantastic new Prada bag, which Sun Mi had insisted they get shipped back to the JYPE apartment building so that they wouldn’t be weighted down with any of the new purchases.  Total charges on card: 1,090 dollars.  And the biggest had yet to come.

 

Saks 5th Avenue was like a giant playground for So Hee.  The girl bounced excitedly from rack to rack, searching for new clothes for her collection.  She had quite a stack growing, all being carried by her best friend.  Ye Eun was blown away by So Hee’s shopping skills.  She was like a woman possessed.  But they had been here for a little over an hour and a half and it was nearing the 10 o’clock closing time. 

 

“So Hee,” Ye Eun called out to the girl as she piled another skirt on top of her friend, “You better head to the dressing room if you want to try these on at all.  The store is going to close in about half an hour.”

 

So Hee looked a little disappointed, but she nodded in agreement anyway.  She had plenty of clothes to try on for now.  They could always come shopping again some other time.  She turned on her heel and headed toward the dressing room, leaving Sun Mi with a pile of clothing in her arms.  So Hee stopped at the door to a changing stall and looked expectantly at her clothes laden friend. 

 

“Well are you coming or not?”

 

Sun Mi and Ye Eun both gave a stunned looks at So Hee.  The apathetic girl usually went to all lengths to keep Sun Mi away, not encourage them.  So Hee just rolled her eyes at their shocked expressions.

 

“Don’t look so surprised, Sun Mi.  I said that I would make this shopping trip fun for you.  You already have all my clothes so get over here.  Ye Eun will wait outside as the ‘fashion supervisor’ and will have final approval on all outfits.  Now hurry, we don’t have a lot of time.”

 

Sun Mi bolted towards the dressing room as fast as her feet would take her.  There was no way she was going to give So Hee enough time to change her mind.  She slipped through the door to the dressing room and Ye Eun watched as So Hee closed it with a smile. 

 

Ye Eun wasn’t sure what to make of her night out with the duo at all.  First, So Hee was speaking frankly about her close relationship with Sun Mi.  Now she was inviting Sun Mi into her dressing room, which would have been weird for any group of people, not just Sun Mi and So Hee.  And here Ye Eun was… sitting awkwardly outside of the dressing room door.

 

“Sun Mi, just taking my clothes off isn’t going to get us anywhere.  You also have to help me put the next outfit _on_ ,” So Hee’s voice drifted from inside the dressing room.

 

Okay make that _really_ awkwardly.  Ye Eun shifted in her chair as she listened to the sounds of the other girls shifting and adjusting clothing on the other side of the door.  After a few minutes of the awkward sounds Sun Mi appeared from behind the door.

 

“Alright!  Without further ado, I introduce to the judges Ahn So Hee in her stunning new Valentino shirt and slacks with Jimmy Choo sunglasses,” she announced dramatically. 

 

So Hee followed her friend’s dramatic lead and stalked out of the dressing room like she was on the runway.  Ye Eun raised an eyebrow at So Hee’s outfit and sexy strut.  It didn’t look bad on her.  The glamorous girl was probably destined for the silver screen or modeling at some point.  But right now something was detracting from her flawless appearance just a bit…

 

“Um… So Hee… I hate to the bearer of bad news,” Ye Eun said with a smirk, “But you seem to have left your top few buttons on your shirt open.  Everyone in the department has a front row seat to lookin’ at your bra.”

 

A blush instantly covered the youngest girls face as she whipped the stylish aviators off her face and looked down at her new shirt. 

 

“Sun Mi,” she hissed angrily at her friend.  “You buttoned the shirt and told me it looked fine.”

 

Sun Mi just grinned happily at her friend’s chest. 

 

“And it still looks fine to me!”

 

“Argh!  I can’t believe you sometimes!” So Hee yelled as she stormed back into the dressing room.

 

Her best friend rushed up to the dressing room door and pounded on it with all her might, making a total scene in the middle of the store.  Ye Eun sighed.  This was definitely more typical behavior for the two of them.

 

“You have to let me in!  You said I would get to have fun!” Sun Mi yelled at the impenetrable wall. 

 

“Yeah, and look how that turned out for me.”

 

Sun Mi leaned herself up against the door and let out a little whimper.

 

“So Hee…”

 

The door snapped open and Sun Mi stumbled forward into the dressing room.

 

“Fine.  Get in here.  But you better behave yourself,” So Hee warned.

 

The door slammed shut again, leaving Ye Eun alone in her seat outside.  She sighed and leaned back in the chair.  Within moments sounds of a scuffle broke out again.

 

“Okay Sun Mi, I don’t need to take my bra off to wear this dress.”

 

“Really?  I think you probably should…”

 

Ye Eun slid down in her chair.  Holy crap.  There was no way they were going to get out of here before 10 o’clock. 

 

 ==========

 

 

So Hee adjusted her new Jimmy Choo shades so they delicately perched on her nose.  Sun Mi had managed to convince her to part with most of her new purchases and have them shipped back to the apartment, but So Hee had drawn the line at her designer sunglasses. 

 

Ye Eun sighed tiredly.  After another half hour of dressing room fights and fashion shows they had finally gotten kicked out of the store.  It was technically fifteen minutes past closing time, but Ye Eun had a sinking suspicion that the store employees had been put off by the speedy Korean that So Hee and Sun Mi were throwing at each other and had been too scared to talk to them sooner.  Another 1,000 or so dollars and a hundred English apologies later and they were finally out on the street in front of the store. 

 

“We have to keep moving,” Sun Mi said as she flattened herself in a very un-stealthy fashion against the wall.  “The chaperone will find us if we don’t.”

 

Ye Eun just rolled her eyes.  Enough was enough. 

 

“Okay you guys have had your fun.  Now it’s my turn.  I need a break from all your madness.” 

 

She grabbed her two younger charges by their arms and led them forcibly down the street.  If So Hee could go on thousand-dollar-plus shopping spree than Ye Eun was at least going to get her fancy dinner.  Fair was fair. 

 

“Where are we going now?” So Hee asked as she held her Jimmy Choos to her face to keep them from falling. 

 

“The Four Seasons restaurant,” Ye Eun answered with a smile.  “It costs an arm and leg to eat there, but it’ll be totally worth it!  Their chefs are all world famous and it just so happens to be only two blocks from here.”

 

Sun Mi and So Hee struggled to stay caught up with Ye Eun.  Nothing could get between that woman and her food.  There was no stopping her at this point and they both realized that it was pointless to even try.  Obviously stop two on their grand night out was going to be dinner.  They dashed across streets, following Ye Eun to where the restaurant was located.

 

Ye Eun’s eyes lit up as she looked at the elegant exterior of the building.  She rushed up the steps into the fancy eatery with So Hee and Sun Mi trailing behind.  Ye Eun was on her own mission and no one was going to stop her.  Not even the petulant looking host who sat behind the front podium.

 

“Do you ladies have reservations?” the host asked haughtily.

 

So Hee and Sun Mi looked a little put off by the thought of having to talk in English again.  Their time in the recording studio had been enough for one day.  Ye Eun stepped forward to take the lead on the challenge. 

 

“We don’t exactly have reservations,” Ye Eun drawled with all the charm she could muster.  “I was mostly hoping that you could make an exception for us.”

 

The host scoffed lightly at the thought of doing such a thing, but stopped dead in his tracks when Ye Eun flashed the shiny platinum JYPE card.

 

“Whatever the cost,” she elaborated. 

 

Sun Mi glared at Ye Eun and cursed at her in Korean.

 

“You stole my credit card!”

 

“It’s not your credit card,” Ye Eun countered.  “You stole it from the staff member anyway, remember?”

 

The host was oblivious to their Korean fight and simply eyed up the platinum card in Ye Eun’s hand.  There was no denying that the card was authentic and extremely high limit.  He let his eyes linger on it for a second.

 

“Which room would you like to sit in?” he finally asked.

 

“I would love to see the room with the reflecting pool in it,” Ye Eun answered with a smile. 

 

The host bowed and ushered us into the busy, metropolitan restaurant.  He walked at a fast, clipped gate through the maze of dining parties into a large room far past the entranceway.  Ye Eun obviously knew her stuff; the dining room was clearly the centerpiece of the whole eating establishment.  The giant pool in the center of the room was breathtaking and served to reflect the pearly, limestone walls which made the whole room appear to be glowing.  The host led them to a small table right next to water and pulled back the chairs. 

 

“Here are your menus, the chef’s special tonight is roast duck with a lemon reduction.  I will send someone over momentarily to take your drink and meal orders.  Goodnight ladies.”

 

And he was gone as fast as he had taken them to the table.  Sun Mi watched him leave with a confused look on her face.  So Hee smiled at her friend seated next to her.  There was no way she understood any of that man’s quick English.  Sun Mi glanced across the table at Ye Eun for assistance, but the girl was already lost within her menu.

 

“As good as that chef’s special sounds, I might have to get the three course meal with lamb and fresh tossed salad.  It even comes with special caramel cheesecake for dessert!  Oh goodness… or maybe I could get the pepper grilled chicken with shrimp,” Ye Eun babbled.

 

So Hee and Sun Mi exchanged amused looks.  Ye Eun was definitely going to eat a nice dent into the JYPE credit card.  They looked down at their menus to try and figure out their own meal choices.  Sun Mi let out a little whimper.  After their month and a half stay in New York City they had gotten fairly good at English, but the menu was definitely on a level above what they were used to seeing. 

 

“What is a ‘frois gras with truffle and cognac sauce?’” Sun Mi whispered to her friend.

 

So Hee’s face wrinkled in confusion.

 

“I’m not sure… I think I’m just going to order whatever I can understand the most of in the description,” So Hee muttered back.

 

The wait staff was so well organized that they didn’t have much time to browse over the menu before their server showed up to take their orders.

 

“And what can I get you lovely ladies tonight?” the handsome waiter asked.

 

So Hee closed her menu with a snap.

 

“I will have the 16 ounce steak with asparagus tips, thank you.”

 

“Um… Um… I want the duck with the orange sauce,” Sun Mi stuttered out in English.

 

The waiter nodded politely as he jotted down the orders.  He turned gracefully to Ye Eun and shot her a charming smile.

 

“And for you Miss?”

 

“Oh my, it just all looks so delicious,” Ye Eun complimented in her perfect English.  “I really can’t decide between the peppered chicken and the roast lamb.”

 

“So which one do you want?” the waiter asked politely.

 

“No I really can’t decide,” Ye Eun replied as she shut her menu and handed it to the waiter.  “So I’ll just have to take them both.”

 

The waiter stumbled in his menu collection. 

 

“B-both?  You do realize how large our three course meals are, correct?”

 

“Oh I’m sure I’ll manage somehow,” Ye Eun said with a smile.

 

He nodded blankly back at the charming girl and walked slowly away from the table to place all of their orders.  So Hee and Sun Mi were just as shocked.  Ye Eun loved to eat, but two three-course meals?  That might be pushing it.  Ye Eun could see their doubt from across the table. 

 

“What?  I don’t have to eat it all.  I just want to have lots of choices.  It’s not like we are paying for it tonight anyway.  You got your new Vivienne and Jimmy Choo clothes and I get my expensive dinner.  Fair’s fair.”

 

Sun Mi’s eyes lit up and her plotting grin spread across her face. 

 

“So if we did So Hee’s shopping spree and Ye Eun’s dining extravaganza, that means that I get to choose the next destination!”

 

“Sun Mi,” Ye Eun said with a sigh, “We are NOT going scuba diving in the Hudson River.  It’s dirty and you’ll get sick.  Why can’t you just choose a normal thing like the rest of us?”

 

This just earned a pout from the eccentric girl.

 

“I do have something normal planned!  You guys have no faith in me…”

 

So Hee scooted her chair closer to her friend’s and laid her hand comfortingly on her shoulder.  Sun Mi smiled at her and looked up into her eyes hopefully.

 

“There there Sun Mi,” So Hee said reassuringly.  “We only have little faith because you rarely give us any reason to believe in your normalcy.”

 

Her sarcastic comment just made Sun Mi pout all the more.  But despite her friends barbed words she seemed content enough to lean into her touch.  So Hee just smiled and let her hand drift up to push some of Sun Mi’s loose hair behind her ear.  Ye Eun watched the whole scene play out warily.  Shouldn’t they be arguing right about now?  This whole night out was getting really unsettling, really quickly.  Nothing was working out quite the way it should and Sun Mi and So Hee were far cozier together then they were normally. 

 

Ye Eun’s thoughts were quickly swept aside when a plate of buttered shrimp and a salad were placed in front of her.  The beginning portions of Sun Mi and So Hee’s meals quickly followed.  There would be time to worry about this bizarre day later.  Now it was feasting time. 

 

 ==========

 

 

“Oh my goodness I don’t think I could eat another bite… ever.  For the rest of my life,” Ye Eun complained contentedly.

 

So Hee went back to picking at her asparagus elegantly.  She wasn’t going to be caught dead wolfing down her food like her older group mate had been doing.  Ye Eun had destroyed most of her three-course meals and had even been earning a few puzzled looks from nearby tables for her eating abilities.  So Hee glanced at her side and saw that Sun Mi had finished a fair portion of her meal as well, but also nowhere near the level that Ye Eun had demolished. 

 

Sun Mi shifted anxiously in her seat as So Hee continued to nibble on her dinner. 

 

“Geez aren’t you guys done yet?” she whined.  “You are so slow… It’s almost midnight and I wanna get to my fun part of the evening!”

 

Ye Eun patted her stomach lightly with one hand and twirled her water glass with the other.

 

“Hey I need a little bit of sitting time to digest before I have to go chasing after you on whatever wack-a-do plan you have in your head.  Besides, we have to wait for your sweetheart to finish her meal before we continue onwards.”

 

The term ‘sweetheart’ just made Sun Mi smile and snuggled into her younger friend’s side.  She reached down and picked up a fork and stabbed one of the vegetables on So Hee’s plate.  With a giant smile she held it up to the youngest girl’s face.

 

“Say ‘Ahhh’ sweetheart!” Sun Mi said enthusiastically. 

 

Ye Eun rolled her eyes.  She should have known that her joking term would have pushed Sun Mi into this act.  Now the girl was in for a world of hurt from the business end of So Hee’s fist.  This kind of thing happened all the time.

 

A light blush spread across So Hee’s pale skin as her friend dangled the food in front of her mouth.  She leaned forward and tentatively took the piece of asparagus into her open mouth; lips trailing along the fork.  Sun Mi smiled wholeheartedly as So Hee delicately chewed her food. 

 

“Thank you,” So Hee mumbled through her mouthful.

 

Okay that was definitely out of the norm.  Ye Eun looked cautiously across the table at the two girls as she sipped her water.  So Hee usually would have knocked the fork out of her hand and glared at Sun Mi.  But letting the other girl feed her lovingly?  Could this day get any weirder?

 

“So Hee, you have a bit of sauce on the side of your mouth,” Sun Mi said as she pointed to the offending spot on her friend’s face.

 

So Hee looked around the table, but couldn’t find her napkin under all of the dishes covering the surface.  Sun Mi chuckled at her friend.

 

“Here let me get it for you,” she said in deep voice.

 

She quickly ducked her head toward So Hee’s and pressed her lips to the corner of her best friend’s mouth.  Ye Eun watched in shock as Sun Mi’s tongue darted out quickly and lapped up the sauce.

 

Ye Eun’s world froze to a stop.  So Hee and Sun Mi?!  There was no possible way this was happening!

 

“What the hell!?” Ye Eun spluttered out from her mouthful of water.  “First, Sun Ye and Yubin and now you two?!  No way!  Is it contagious?”

 

She glanced nervously at the water glass in her hand before tossing it across the table.

 

“Oh my god, it’s in the water!”

 

So Hee started chuckling at Ye Eun’s bizarre behavior, while her friend looked on with a confused expression.

 

“Wait, what about Leader and Yubin?” Sun Mi asked quizzically.

 

Ye Eun stopped her rant like a deer in the headlights.  That was information she probably shouldn’t have said out loud.  Her mind span in circles as she tried to come up with another cover to throw at the other two girls.  So Hee shot her older partner a sympathetic look and turned to Sun Mi.

 

“We’re really good friends, just like Sun Ye and Yubin have become,” So Hee said soothing. 

 

It was the weakest excuse Ye Eun had ever heard, but Sun Mi appeared to accept it.  That girl’s mind worked in the oddest ways.  She could hear a pathetic excuse like that and eat it up, but given the vaguest of clues otherwise she would be able to pull a secret out of mid-air. 

 

Sun Mi linked hands with So Hee and dragged her friend up from the table. 

 

“So Hee’s all done with her dinner now, so you better pay the check and we can bounce on to the next adventure!  Meet you outside!”

 

With that Sun Mi started walking quickly away with her best friend in tow.  So Hee shot a helpless look over her shoulder at Ye Eun.  There was no stopping that girl now that it was her turn for fun. 

 

Ye Eun let out a sigh as she watched the two disappear hand-in-hand.  How had it all ended up like this?  The Sun Ye and Yubin dating debacle was one thing; she could deal with that.  But add this ridiculous Sun Mi and So Hee pair to the mix and… It didn’t make any sense.  Was the she the only one in the whole group that was remotely attracted to men!?  Sure, they had been isolated and generally kept away from boys for most of their training, but come on! 

 

She waived the handsome waiter over and pressed the platinum card into his hand for the bill with another weary sigh. 

 

Worst thing of all; she had gone with the crazy duo to avoid being an unwanted guest with Sun Ye and Yubin.  But now she was just playing third wheel on the So Hee and Sun Mi’s bizarre date. 

 

Why did she always end up in these messes?

 

 ==========

 

 

Ye Eun trudged outside, platinum card and receipt in hand.  She had no idea what JYP was going to think when he saw the nine hundred dollar charge on his card from just one restaurant.  The meal definitely hadn’t been _that_ expensive and she was fairly certain that they had charged her double due to their lack of reservations.  That put them at well over three thousand dollars so far.  Perhaps it was a good thing Sun Ye and Yubin hadn’t come along after all.  Another two girls on the bill and JYP would probably have been cursing his generosity.

 

She plodded over to Sun Mi and So Hee who were leaning against the door of a taxi cab, presumably giving directions to him for their next destination. 

 

“Here is our friend,” Sun Mi announced happily to the driver when she saw Ye Eun coming.  “Now we are all set to go!”

 

The driver nodded back at her as she opened the door to the cab and ushered the other two inside.  Ye Eun followed apprehensively and slid into the back seat next to an excited Sun Mi.

 

“Is a cab really necessary?  We aren’t going somewhere far away are we?  What exactly do you have planned?” Ye Eun fired off questions to the girl next to her.

 

“Whoa calm down there,” Sun Me consoled Ye Eun as she started counting off the answers to her questions.  “First, we needed the cab because I figured you wouldn’t want to walk after all that food.  Second, we aren’t going far away, just ten or so blocks.  And finally, my plan is to go to the Central Park Zoo!”

 

Ye Eun’s jaw dropped in shock. 

 

“Sun Mi!  You can’t go to Central Park at night!  Don’t you watch the news here at all?  It’s a bad idea.  Also, I’m fairly certain the zoo closed…” Ye Eun checked her watch, “almost three hours ago!”

 

So Hee chuckled from the other side of her friend. 

 

“When has that ever stopped her in the past?”

 

It was a good point.  Ye Eun just collapsed on the seat and let the cab take them all the way to the Central Park Zoo.

 

 ==========

 

 

Sun Mi skipped up to the front gates of the zoo with her usual enthusiasm, leaving Ye Eun to convince the taxi driver to stay in the area to give them a ride home.  He had been fairly apprehensive about hanging around Central Park at first, but the promise of a large tip had persuaded him to reconsider.  Once she was done talking to the driver she headed up the path to the zoo with So Hee.

 

“So um… Sun Mi and you…” Ye Eun awkwardly started.  “Are you guys, like an actual item or something?”

 

So Hee kept walking quietly, watching Ye Eun squirm out of the corner of her eyes.

 

“Ye Eun, no offense, but when have we ever been open and sharing with each other?  I hardly think I’m going to get all ‘warm and fuzzy’ with you now.  Think of it what you will,” So Hee said mysteriously.

 

With that she jogged lightly the rest of the way up to the gates.  Ye Eun followed in her footsteps slowly.  So Hee always was the hardest one to read.  There was no way for her to tell if this was all for real or not.  Regardless, there wasn’t much that she could do about it now.  She would just have to go along for the ride. 

 

“Alright, we are at the zoo,” Ye Eun said as she finally reached the gate.  “It’s closed, just like I said it would be.  Can we go home yet?”

 

Sun Mi ignored Ye Eun’s obvious impatience and pressed her face up against the bars on the entranceway. 

 

“Not just yet.  There has to be someone in here taking care of the animals,” she said as she looked around the inside of the park.

 

Just as the words came out of her mouth a caretaker walked by the front gate whistling.  Sun Mi’s grinned as her good faith was rewarded.

 

“Hey Mister Zoo Man sir!” Sun Mi called out.  “Can you help us and let us in to see the animals?”

 

The caretaker spun mid-step and walked over towards the gate. 

 

“What are you girls doing here at night?  The zoo is closed for the day.  You are welcome to come back tomorrow during normal business hours.”

 

Sun Mi just smiled her charming smile at the man.  She wasn’t going to be deterred that easily.  Ye Eun looked over at the younger girl and saw a pleading look on her face.  The rest of this conversation would be left to her and her superior language skills. 

 

“This zoo does accept donations, right?” Ye Eun asked in her accent-less English.  “And you probably don’t turn away donors from the doors now do you?”

 

The caretaker tilted his head at this hint.  These clearly were not your average teenage girls. 

 

“I don’t know if you have the kind of money that it would take to open these doors right now.  We are talking thousands upon thousands of dollars and…”

 

Ye Eun twirled the platinum card out of her pocket with a flourish.

 

“Do you take Visa?”

 

That was good enough for the zoo employee.  The girls just had too much charisma for him to argue against them.  And it wasn’t like they were going to be any threat in the zoo at night.  They were just harmless kids after all.  He traipsed up to the gate and unlocked it to let the trio inside. 

 

“Thanks, you won’t regret it,” So Hee said brusquely as she brushed by the man.

 

He stepped aside and let everyone fully into the park before locking the gate again.  With a twitch of his fingers he signaled for them to follow him to the gift shop.  He dug into his pocket and pulled out a new ring of keys and unlocked the store.  

 

“I’m gonna ring up your donation on the register before I let you into the main section of the park,” he said as he lead the three girls to the front register.

 

Ye Eun pulled out the JYPE credit card and handed it over to the zoo employee.  He typed a few keys on the register and looked up at the temporary leader with a smirk.

 

“Okay, that’ll be a 3,000 dollar donation to get into the zoo for the night.  If you can’t pay then I’ll just show you out to the gate.”

 

“That’ll be just fine!” Sun Mi chirped happily.

 

The zookeeper swept the card through the machine and his face visibly fell as the charge went through successfully.  He obviously didn’t expect the card to be real at all.

 

“Huh, okay… Well I guess you ladies are free to go in now.  Thanks for your donation.”

 

Sun Mi ran excitedly out of the gift shop, dragging her best friend by the hand.  Ye Eun turned back to the employee and took the card out of his hand and pocketed it.

 

“Thanks for all the trouble.  You really did just make her day.”

 

The zookeeper shrugged.  It wasn’t like he was going to get into that much trouble since he had just collected a big donation. 

 

“Just do me a favor,” he asked nicely.  “Don’t go into the cages or do anything dangerous.  Be well behaved and act like it’s a normal day at the zoo… uh except at night.”

 

Ye Eun sighed as she imagined all the trouble her younger two counterparts could get into this evening.  It was going to be rough.

 

“I’ll try my hardest,” she promised.

 

 =========

 

 

            Ye Eun was pleasantly surprised at how easy keeping her promise to the zookeeper had been.  Sun Mi seemed to be perfectly happy with walking through the pathways of the zoo and looking at the animals sleeping or pacing around in their cages.  It would have been a peaceful outing, if they hadn’t been there at midnight in the eerie darkness.  But that hadn’t been the only thing making Ye Eun feel uncomfortable.

 

Her eyes trailed down to Sun Mi’s hand.  It had been intertwined with So Hee’s during the entire walk through the zoo.  Ye Eun fell a little further behind the duo.  It really was starting to feel like she was intruding on a date between the two younger girls and it was freaking her out.  She wasn’t sure exactly how to act with them now.  Before everything was predictable.  Sun Mi would jump on So Hee, So Hee would hit Sun Mi, Sun Mi would pout.  Rinse and repeat. 

 

Now everything was all turned upside down.  Sun Mi would jump on So Hee, So Hee would smile and whisper in Sun Mi’s ear, Sun Mi would blush.  It was like watching the awkward early days of Sun Ye and Yubin’s relationship all over again.  And she was stuck in the middle… again. 

 

She glanced ahead at where Sun Mi and So Hee were looking into the snow leopard’s cage and giggling at the pacing cats.  Sun Mi whispered into her friend’s ear as she gestured towards the large cats.  So Hee smiled back and swung their held hands in between them playfully.

 

Oh this was so not right. 

 

Ye Eun dragged her feet over towards her group mates. 

 

“So I heard one of the staff members talking as we walked by that they keep the snow leopard food in those enclosures behind the cages.  If we sneak around the back we should be able to get in and grab some meat to feed them with,” Sun Mi said in a hushed voice.

 

Oh dear God.  Ye Eun knew she had to put and end to this before it even started.

 

“Sun Mi, there is no way I’m going to let you even attempt to sneak in there and feed those large, hungry, caged cats,” Ye Eun said forcibly.

 

Sun Mi tried to turn her pleading eyes on Ye Eun, but they were starting to lose their effectiveness after a whole night of use.  So Hee just chuckled at her disheartened friend.

 

“But the poor kitties are hungry…” Sun Mi whined.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure they are,” Ye Eun said as she started to drag Sun Mi away from the cage.  “And feeding them is the job of the zookeepers.  If you go around feeding the animals then they are going to loose their jobs and be out of work.  And you will be out of a hand because the leopards will inevitably bite it off.  Now let’s pack it up for tonight and go home.”

 

“We’ve only been here for an hour and a half.  You guys all had much longer adventures than mine…”

 

So Hee just grabbed her friend’s other arm and walked next to us, helping to lead Sun Mi along.

 

“We have the next two days off as well Sun Mi.  There will be plenty of time for other outings.  But Ye Eun is right, it is almost two in the morning now and we should probably just call it a night.”

 

Sun Mi pouted angrily, but started walking along more willingly.

 

“Okay fine, but I want to get a souvenir from the gift shop!”

 

So Hee rolled her eyes and decided not to point out that there probably weren’t any employees left around to unlock the gift shop again.

 

 =========

 

 

Ye Eun threw the shiny, plastic credit card onto the kitchen counter as they traipsed in the door to their apartment.  After buying a stuffed snake for Sun Mi to get her to leave the zoo and the cab ride home she was fairly certain that they had gone well over six thousand dollars on the card.  JYP probably wasn’t going to like that… but he really did bring it on himself by letting them use it. 

 

She looked back and stared at the duo who were still taking their shoes off by the door.  Sun Mi had started tickling So Hee with the tail end of her new snake doll and So Hee was just blushing at her teases and swatting at the toy half-heartedly. 

 

Urgh.  Nope.  It was past two in the morning and Ye Eun was done with them for the night.  She was finally home and could escape from all the lesbian vibes every single one of her roommates seemed to be giving off now. 

 

“Good night you two… I just… there are no words,” Ye Eun mumbled out as she dragged her feet back to her room. 

 

She wandered down the hall to her room and reached down to open her door.  Ye Eun stopped when she felt cloth beneath her hand on the doorknob.  That definitely wasn’t supposed to be there…

 

Ye Eun picked up the mysterious fabric from her door and unfolded it in front of herself to see what it was. 

 

Sun Ye’s… pants?

 

“Oh no freakin’ way!” Ye Eun yelled loudly as she threw the pants into her room.  “I’m so done with everyone!  I’m gonna quit the Wonder Girls and find myself a nice, normal boyfriend and leave all you over-sexed lesbians behind me!”

 

Sun Mi and So Hee peaked their heads around the wall from the kitchen to the hallway just in time to see Ye Eun slam the door to her room angrily. 

 

“Geez, What’s got her so worked up,” Sun Mi wondered out loud.  “She seems really upset about our blossoming love.”

 

So Hee rolled her eyes and pushed her friend out from their hiding spot behind the wall. 

 

“Okay you can stop the romantic nonsense now, Sun Mi.  Ye Eun is gone.  We can go back to being our normal selves.”

 

Sun Mi gave a disappointed look to her best friend. 

 

“I still don’t understand why you wanted to do this whole big act for Ye Eun,” Sun Mi sniffled dramatically.  “Especially when you know of my… true feelings.”

 

So Hee scoffed at her friend’s sarcasm.  She knew that getting into this Sun Mi was going to try and draw out the act. 

 

“Don’t worry about it that much, okay?” So Hee tried to reason.  “I told you, we just needed to teach Ye Eun a lesson to be a little nicer to her friends like Sun Ye and Yubin who have… special relationships.  She should just get used to them, accept it, and stop mocking them.  They have a hard enough time without her pulling pranks on them constantly.”

 

“You keeps mentioning ‘special relationships’ and I still don’t get it at all,” Sun Mi said with a sigh. 

 

So Hee smiled at Sun Mi and patted her lightly on her head.  Her inexplicable innocence sometimes made her all the more endearing.

 

“You don’t have to understand it, Sun Mi.  In fact, it’s better if you don’t think about it much at all,” So Hee said as took her friend’s hand.  “Now come on, let’s get to bed.”

 

Sun Mi raised her eyebrow hopefully.

 

“Hah, nice try,” So Hee chuckled.  “But I’ll tell you what, if it seems like Ye Eun is out in the hallway skulking around, I’ll let you make some loud, inappropriate noises, okay?”

 


	15. Chapter 14:  Living Proof that Sometimes Teamwork is not the Best Medicine

 

I knew exactly what letter Sun Ye had made it to from the blush spreading across her face.  For good reason really.  Few couples had a night like that one together.  We had both been so infatuated with the feeling of each other that we literally had gone until we had worn each other out.  I hadn’t had a night like that since… well since Sun Ye.  I could feel a blush spreading across my own face as the memories resurfaced. 

 

My hand trembled slightly as I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair.  This was no good.  It was going to be really hard to look at Sun Ye at this rate.  Damn her and her lingering influence over me.  Just thinking about her on that night was driving me crazy.  I couldn’t let her see the effect the memories were having over me or she would definitely notice.

 

Sun Ye let out a shaky sigh as she finished the letter.  I opened my eyes slightly to hazard a peek at her through my ruffled hair.  Her face was flushed and she was breathing unevenly just from reading the letter.  It was the same appearance she had right after we…

 

Damn.  Stopping that mental image right there. 

 

“So um… That was a good letter.  A really good letter,” she said with a small smile.

 

“Yeah I don’t really remember all the letters that I wrote all those years ago…”

 

She raised her eyebrow at me suspiciously.

 

“Oh well then let me help you out.  It’s the one where we…”

 

“Okay!  Okay.  I know exactly which letter you were on,” I stammered skittishly.  “You really don’t have to go into the details out loud.”

 

“Really?  Because now I kind of want to,” she said with a smirk that was good enough to be one of my own. 

 

This girl was going out of her way to flirt with me.  Normally this would be oh so delightful.  But with Sun Ye… it was oh so bad.  How could she want this again?  Did she not remember what had gone on between us?  Now I was kinda happy that I had the stack of letters in between us.  Those would help her remember. 

 

“Fine.  We had sex.  It was fantastic.  Love and tears everywhere,” I said sarcastically.  “Moving on.”

 

“Love… Oh right.  That was the first time you said that word to me too,” Sun Ye said with a far-off look in her eyes. 

 

There she was getting dreamy and hopeful again.  I didn’t want to be mean to her, but I couldn’t have her getting her hopes up again either.  It really was leaving me no choice.

 

“Yes,” I said firmly.  “’said.’  As in past tense.  This is all in the past Sun Ye.  Not to be repeated in the future.  I’m getting the sinking feeling that you seem to be missing that.  Keep in mind that this is a meeting so we can make our clean break from each other and move on with our lives.”

 

Sun Ye traced over the edges of the letter she had just read with her finger. 

 

“You speak of the past and the future, but what about the here and now?  How do you feel right now, Yubin?  Do you still love me?”

 

I could feel my heart almost stop in my chest.  She did _NOT_ just ask me that.  How the hell was I supposed to answer that?  She knew me too well.  I wouldn’t be able to get away with a lie, not when we were face to face.

 

“Look, we said we weren’t going to talk and debate over each letter,” I said with a sigh.  “You have to move on, as per our deal.”

 

I could feel her eyes burning into me as I ducked my head to reach down for the next letter.  I wasn’t stupid.  There was no way she bought that.  All I could do was hope that she would move on and leave me alone for a bit.

 

“Yubin…”

 

The rustle of paper cut her off as I shoved the next letter in her face.  I avoided contact with her eyes and instead looked at my admirer over at the coffee counter.  I could definitely use another drink.  Maybe I could get my fan to put something a little stronger in it.  At this rate I was going to need it.  I could feel Sun Ye’s fingers gently lift the letter out of my fingertips and heard her open the letter. 

 

Well at least I was safe for now.  But I wouldn’t be able to escape my own thoughts. 

 

 

 

 ==========

 

 

 

The first thing I was aware of was her breath tousling my hair.  The sleepy fog in my mind slowly dissipated as I focused on the rhythmic motion of her chest.  More pieces floated back to the surface of my thoughts: Sun Ye’s face curled up in the arch of my neck, her hair splayed out on the pillow next to mine, her legs intertwined with my own.  As I finished my dazed observations I could feel Sun Ye’s leg brush higher in between mine.  The movement brought me completely out of my sleepy haze in an instant.

 

I was in bed with Sun Ye.  Okay that alone wasn’t uncommon nowadays.  But I was in bed _naked_ with Sun Ye. 

 

My breathing slowed as I tried to look at my girlfriend’s face without waking her up.  Her eyelids fluttered softly as she continued sleeping peacefully.  I took in her serene sleeping face as I let the memories of last night rush through my head. 

 

Sun Ye and I had slept together.  Finally.  I could feel my body heat up slightly as I thought about all we had done last night and Sun Ye’s leg shifting in between mine wasn’t helping my concentration any.  We had basically reveled in each other’s bodies until we couldn’t take anymore and my mind was still reeling from the experience.

 

Obviously I was perfectly happy with the way the night had worked out.  But was she?  Was this going to be one of those awkward morning-after moments?  I’d had those before with some other girls I had slept with and they were never pretty.  They mostly just consisted of silence and us pulling on our clothes as quickly as possible.  Just the thought that Sun Ye might wake up and feel like that as well made my blood run cold.  I wouldn’t be able to deal with that if it happened. 

 

I glanced nervously at Sun Ye as she curled even closer into my shoulder.  Why was I stressing out over this so much?  She obviously wasn’t going to just up and leave like random trainee girl number one and two from my past.  This was Sun Ye I had spent the night with, so even if she did want to run away it wasn’t like she could.  This was just me being terribly insecure again, feeding myself with self-doubts.  I really had to get over that phase eventually.  There really wasn’t anything to doubt with this situation.  I was lying in bed with my gorgeous, naked girlfriend whom I had just spent the best night of my life with and whom had heard and accepted my confession of love. 

 

And she said she loved me back.  Suddenly I really couldn’t wait for Sun Ye to wake up.  My eyes drifted down to look at her angelic sleeping face again and I was met with her twinkling eyes staring right back at me.  

 

“Took you long enough even realize I was here,” she joked in a deep voice.

 

I could feel her leg stretch teasingly in between mine again.

 

“Trust me, every single inch of my body knows that you are here with me right now,” I responded in a huskier-than-normal voice. 

 

Sun Ye’s eyes visibly darkened and her leg rose even higher in between mine. 

 

“Good,” she whispered.  “That’s just the way I want it.”

 

I dipped my head down and caught her lips with mine and she responded instantly.  Guess she had woken up a little faster than me this morning.  And no amount of encouragement was going to convince either of us to go back to sleep now.  Her tongue teased against my lips, begging for entrance.  I tilted my head to the side to allow her to deepen the kiss while I tightened my arm around her.  This was definitely no awkward morning after. 

 

Sun Ye followed my lead and for a few minutes we just basked in each other’s taste, quietly kissing and touching each other lightly and never really escalating our actions.  After a while Sun Ye pulled back and I instantly felt the loss of her lips.  I couldn’t help but shoot her a completely dumbfounded look as she stared into space blankly.

 

“I wonder if Ye Eun is okay after spending the night with the kids,” she wondered out loud.

 

Seriously?  She had interrupted out lovely make-out session to voice her thoughts on what Ye Eun had done last night? 

 

“I’m not sure, but I might be terribly offended that you were thinking of Ye Eun while kissing me,” I sarcastically replied.

 

Her laughter shook her tiny form in my arms.  I couldn’t help but smile at her. 

 

“Like Ye Eun would ever be your competition,” she said with a grin.  “I just was a little worried about my best friend, you know?  She was out until who knows what hour of the night with two of the biggest troublemakers in Korea.”

 

“True, they didn’t seem to be back at two last night so they were probably out really late.”

 

Sun Ye raised her eyebrow at me questioningly. 

 

“And what were you doing wandering around at two in the morning?”

 

Well that was a reveal I didn’t intend to make.  Although I planned on giving all my letters to Sun Ye one day, now was definitely not the time.  We had just been through a lot of firsts in our relationship and I definitely wanted to give those some time to cool off.  It was best to go with another truth of sorts.

 

“Well I wasn’t exactly going to leave all our clothes strewn throughout the apartment for the other Girls to find when they came home.”

 

A slight blush crept on to her cheeks at that statement.  She was obviously still nervous about the younger two knowing about our relationship on any level.

 

“You got all of them right?” she asked anxiously.

 

I vaguely remembered groping around for our discarded clothes in the hallway last night.  The light hadn’t even been on and I wasn’t really focusing on the task at hand.  My thoughts had mostly been concerned on getting back into bed with my sexy girlfriend. 

 

“Um yeah.  I probably got them all,” I said somewhat unconvincingly. 

 

That just earned a reproachful look from Sun Ye.  I’d been distracted by my naked girlfriend at the time.  So sue me.  It wasn’t like she could REALLY hold it against me anyway.  I propped myself up on my elbow and looked over at the bedside clock as a distraction from her gaze. 

 

“Oh hey look at the time.  It’s almost eleven in the afternoon now.”

 

Sun Ye seemed to fall for my simple conversation change as she turned and looked at the clock anxiously.  She was always one of the first of us up in the morning.  Her motherly instinct wouldn’t let her sleep in usually.

 

“I should have been up making breakfast hours ago,” she said with a sigh. 

 

She tossed the sheet back and jumped out of bed to start her day.  I wasn’t in nearly the rush she was to get up and move around.  Plus staying behind was obviously giving me some nice benefits.  My eyes trailed over Sun Ye’s form as she shuffled around the room looking for a quick outfit to throw on before she went to the bathroom for her morning shower.  I had seen everything fairly clearly last night, but it was definitely a sight I wasn’t going to grow tired of seeing.

 

Sun Ye turned towards me with a smirk as she pulled a shirt on, covering up my perfect view. 

 

“Shouldn’t you be getting up too?” she asked me with a wry grin.  “You could probably be doing something far more useful than watching me get dressed.”

 

I sat up on the bed and let the sheet fall off of me.  Sun Ye’s eyes immediately gravitated towards my exposed form and I couldn’t help but chuckle at how quickly the tables had turned. 

 

“I don’t know, you seem pretty happy with me staying in bed the way I am right now.”

 

Sun Ye blushed and turned back to her clothes dresser with a huff.  We both knew that I had won this round. 

 

 ==========

 

 

While Sun Ye went to take her shower I took my time getting dressed before I headed out into the kitchen to start the tea kettle.  I wasn’t terribly surprised when I found Ye Eun sitting at the kitchen table with her head lying on her arms.  She was definitely not a happy camper.  There was no way I was going to be the one to bring up the fact that we had ditched her with the two kids last night. 

 

“Hey Ye Eun,” I greeted her enthusiastically.  “Ready for breakfast?  Although I guess it would be lunch by now, huh?”

 

My greeting was met with a cold glare from her.

 

“You have no idea what I was stuck with last night,” Ye Eun hissed at me as I sat down at the table with her.  “I was dragged all throughout the city by the gay wonder twins only to come home to your love nest!”

 

I leaned back slightly in my chair to put a little bit more distance between Ye Eun and myself.  She was intensely upset right now. 

 

“Um I think that ‘love nest’ is a bit of an extreme term for our communal apartment.”

 

“Sun Ye’s pants were draped on my door knob!” Ye Eun yelled across the table at me. 

 

“Huh…”

 

Guess I had missed some clothes after all.  Hope Ye Eun hadn’t told the younger two about that little slip up.  Regardless, Sun Ye was not going to be amused at all. 

 

I heard an exasperated sigh behind me and turned to see a freshly showered Sun Ye standing behind me.  And judging from the frown on her face she had obviously heard Ye Eun’s announcement.  Crap.

 

“Yubin!  You told me you had picked up after us!” she scolded me.

 

“This is stupid,” Ye Eun declared.  “You both share equal blame for this.  Apparently neither of you could keep it in your pants until you made it to the bedroom.  Uh… metaphorically speaking that is.”

 

Sun Ye’s face lit up with a blush at her friend’s comment.  She seemed pretty embarrassed at Ye Eun’s blatant reference to her newly found sex life.  I brushed Sun Ye’s arm affectionately to comfort her as she turned towards the fridge to hide her blush and find the ingredients for lunch.  She knew that Ye Eun was just playing up her anger for pity and comedy at this point.  Her best friend couldn’t stay angry with her for that long.  Especially not when she had finally left her nun-like shell.  Ye Eun had always made fun of her the most for her lack of sex drive back in the day. 

 

“So what did you end up doing with So Hee and Sun Mi last night,” I asked Ye Eun curiously.

 

“Urgh, no really I don’t want to talk about it.  Or think about it.  In fact, I might be traumatized,” Ye Eun complained.

 

I chuckled lightly at Ye Eun’s overly dramatic display of pain.  There was no way it was as bad as she was making it out to be at this point. 

 

“We only got like six hours of sleep last night, but still everyone insists on being so loud this morning,” a familiar, grumpy voice said from the hallway.

 

Ye Eun peered around me at the table and frowned at the two younger girls who were slowly stumbling into the kitchen, wiping the sleep out of their eyes.

 

“Yeah, serves you right for keeping me up late,” Ye Eun retorted.  “I guess that makes us even now.

 

So Hee just rolled her eyes as she collapsed into her chair at the table.  Sun Mi traipsed over to Sun Ye and leaned into her back to peer into the fridge with her.  I couldn’t help but narrow my eyes at the younger girl as she snuggled into my girlfriend.

 

“Leader… I’m hungry.  So hungry I might die.  When is lunch?” she whined loudly. 

 

“Not for a bit,” Sun Ye said with a sad shake of her head.  “We are basically out of everything useful.  I think a trip to the corner store is in order.  We can all go buy ingredients together and then I’ll whip something special up for our first full day off in America.”

 

Sun Mi’s eyes lit up with the duel promise of shopping and fresh cooked food.  I looked over at Ye Eun expecting a similar reaction, but saw her turning a little green at the mention of lunch. 

 

“I would have thought that you would be cheering right along with her,” I said to the usually food crazed girl.

 

“Urgh… you have no idea how much I ate last night.  Not only am I tired of those two brats, I’m also tired of food,” Ye Eun said sadly.  “For now at least.”

 

Sun Ye stepped closer to her friend and poked her in the back.

 

“Well too bad.  I’m making this a mandatory group activity.  So everyone get showered up and dressed and we are going to head out shopping.”

 

“Yay!  Shopping adventure!” Sun Mi yelled as she skipped energetically off to the bathroom for her shower.

 

Ye Eun watched her leave with a tired expression.

 

“How can she still be excited for adventures after last night…?”

 

So Hee just shrugged as she looked at Ye Eun with her normal languid expression. 

 

“Don’t ask me.  She still was filled with energy last night after you went to bed.  It took forever for me to tire her out…”

 

Huh.  I read the meaning into So Hee’s sentence, but wrote it off as something totally mundane.  They joked about that sort of thing all the time and I had never gotten any serious vibes off of the two of them.  Ye Eun seemed to take the mysterious comment a lot more seriously than I did though and jammed her fingers in her ears to avoid hearing any more about it.

 

“Oh my God!  I so didn’t need to know about that!” she shrieked.

 

I couldn’t help but feel that I had missed out on something terribly important last night. 

 

 

 ==========

 

I strolled down the aisles of the little Korean grocery store carrying the shopping basket for the household.  Sun Ye walked next to me consulting her list.  We hardly ever ended up following it, since most of us would just buy whatever we felt like eating at the time, but Sun Ye was too much of a control freak to even leave the house without some guide of what to buy.  I followed her closely as we stopped in front of the produce section to look at vegetables for our salad. 

 

“Okay so we need some lettuce and spinach for the main bulk of our salad.  We still have some cucumbers and other little things we can throw in it at home,” she instructed me as she looked over the selection.

 

I allowed myself a glance over at Sun Ye.  Despite the fact that we hadn’t exactly gotten a full night’s sleep she looked remarkably well rested.  She had a definite glow about her today and I grinned a little at the knowledge that I was the one to give her that radiance.  Honestly, we would probably both sleep so much better now that we had gotten that out of our system.  Or maybe we would just get a lot less sleep altogether.  We hadn’t even started to fulfill all my various daydreams…

 

“Pay attention Yubin,” Sun Ye said as she tapped me lightly on the arm.  “I asked you several times to pick out two good heads of lettuce.”

 

My eyes darted across the produce in front of us and I smirked as I saw where the lettuce was located.  I reached my arm across Sun Ye’s front to grab the vegetable, lightly grazing the front of her chest as I moved forward.  Sun Ye’s breath hitched audibly as a blush rose to her cheeks, but she made no attempt to move away from my touch.  I was definitely going to milk this for all it was worth.  My arm pulled back with the head of lettuce in hand and tickled her front again. 

 

“Do you think this one is good?” I asked in my husky voice.  “Or should I pick out another one?”

 

Sun Ye seemed too dazed to answer my question at first.

 

“Um… We do need two so you should probably pick out another one…”

 

I grinned as I started to reach across Sun Ye again for another head of lettuce, but my path was unexpectedly blocked by a foreign arm.

 

“Here is a good one,” Ye Eun said as she chucked a vegetable into my shopping basket.  “And you guys should totally cool it in public.  You’re like a pair of rabbits in heat or something.”

 

Dammit.  Ye Eun had to just go and ruin the moment.  I looked over at Sun Ye and could see her blushing and looking nervously around the grocery store to see if anyone had noticed us.  Well she wasn’t going to let me do that a second time in public now. 

 

Ye Eun just wiggled her fingers at me in farewell as she disappeared down another aisle away from my glare.  Sun Ye hurredly grabbed the other vegetables we needed and started walking up towards the register.  I was gonna yell at Ye Eun so hard later for what she had done.  Something seriously crappy must have happened with her last night to make her so bitter this morning.  We were all alone in the produce aisle, it’s not like anyone was going to see us. 

 

I suddenly felt a slight tug at my sleeve and I realized that Sun Ye had returned to my side to ease me out of my thoughts.  She smiled at me shyly. 

 

“Don’t worry about Ye Eun,” she said quietly as she coaxed me up to the register.  “I’ll talk to her later about whatever has gotten her so upset.  She shouldn’t be so rude to you.”

 

My eyes drifted down to where her hand was still playing with my sleeve as we walked and I smiled.  Sun Ye didn’t exactly understand what I was upset about, but as long as she was touching me again it didn’t really matter.  It wasn’t exactly the most romantic way to walk around with your girlfriend in public, but it would have to do for now. 

 

We headed up to the registers to meet up with the other Girls and their shopping baskets.  I felt Sun Ye’s hand drop away from my sleeve as we reached the others and I frowned a little at the loss.  Now that we were back in the public eye I would just have to wait until the privacy of our apartment to touch my girlfriend again. 

 

 ==========

 

 

“I want to make kongbap tonight!”

 

I stared at Sun Mi with a questioning look.  That girl never helped in the kitchen.  She always just sat back and let the rest of us wait on her hand and foot. 

 

“You mean you want Sun Ye and me to make kongbap, right?” I corrected her.

 

“Do you have sardines in your ears or something?” Sun Mi sarcastically replied.  “I said _I_ want to make kongbap tonight.”

 

My brain didn’t even have time to be confused by her bizarre retort.  Sun Mi was going to cook in the kitchen?  With Sun Ye and me?  Urgh.  This was unacceptable.  None of the other Girls ever helped with the cooking.  It was always just Sun Ye and me.  That was half the point.  It was our special alone time during the day.  Now Sun Mi just wanted to take that away from me?

 

I glanced over at Sun Ye worriedly.  She returned my look with equal sadness.  Okay, so she was just as disappointed as I was with this unforeseen turn of events. 

 

“I didn’t think you knew how to cook kongbap,” Sun Ye said slowly.  “Or uh… anything.”

 

Sun Mi looked at us like we were all crazy.  That was my least favorite look from her.  It usually meant we were in for a lot of trouble as she tried to prove that she was the normal one.  She rolled up her sleeves and walked toward the counter.

 

“Stand back and prepare to be amazed ladies!” she announced proudly as she started to gather up the ingredients she needed. 

 

Sun Ye just looked on in shock at the younger girl preparing dinner.  This had never happened before.  So Hee and Ye Eun seemed equally surprised, but it didn’t slow them down.

 

“Well I guess we can’t let Sun Mi show us up now can we,” So Hee said to Ye Eun.  “I know how to make bibimbap if you want to help season the sauce and vegetables.”

 

Ye Eun nodded and started getting out spices from the cupboard.

 

Oh hell no.  This wasn’t happening.  First Ye Eun ruined my moment with Sun Ye in the grocery store and now they were throwing a freakin’ party in the kitchen.  This was so not my day.  I walked up next to Sun Ye and started cutting vegetables for our salad with her morosely.

 

“I definitely liked yesterday better,” I whispered quietly to her.

 

She smiled beside me as she continued to dice the lettuce into fine shreds. 

 

“At least they are getting involved I guess,” she muttered back.  “Although I do agree their timing is not the best.”

 

I glanced down the length of the kitchen countertop and watched as Sun Mi attempted to de-scale a fish for some inexplicable reason.  Didn’t she know that fish wasn’t supposed to go in kongbap?  There was no way she even remotely knew what she was doing.  On the bright side, she did seem very engrossed in what she was doing. 

 

The situation was less than ideal and I wasn’t going to just let this whole group cooking experiment go by without my precious, usual Sun Ye alone time.  I scooted closer to Sun Ye and pressed up behind her, almost wrapping my arms around her to reach the cutting board. 

 

“You missed a few spots,” I whispered in her ear as I reached around her to continue cutting normally. 

 

“Yubin, you are incorrigible,” she said with a sigh.

 

Despite her scolding words she made no motion to step away from my embrace.  Sometimes I could just wrap Sun Ye around my finger.  I held myself back to avoid burying my face into the crook of her neck.  That might be a little too much for the kitchen.  She definitely wouldn’t like that. 

 

My peaceful moment was shattered as quickly as it had happened by a fish scale to the face.  I whipped my head over to Sun Mi to see her staring at the two of us with her jaw hanging low, the fish totally forgotten on its plate. 

 

“That position is SO not conducive to chopping vegetables!” she yelled at us in a scandalized tone. 

 

Sun Ye immediately ducked out of my arms and turned back to the cutting board to hide the blush on her face.  Great.  Now that was ruined too.  This day was quickly getting on my nerves.  It really could not get any worse.

 

“OH MY GOD!  You two have a thing for each other?!” Sun Mi shrieked.

 

Okay apparently I had spoken too soon.  This time Sun Ye’s head whipped around to face the younger girl.

 

“What?  No!” she replied vehemently.  “Why would you think that?  That’s just crazy.”

 

I turned and glared at Sun Ye for that statement.  It was slightly overkill to deny ever dating me like that and it kind of hurt to hear her say it.  She was too preoccupied with Sun Mi to even notice my ire.

 

“No freakin’ way!  It’s totally true!” Sun Mi continued on.  “How blind have I been all of these years!?”

 

“Yeah, especially when much more obvious hints have been given to you than this,” So Hee drawled.

 

Sun Ye looked like she was about to have a panic attack over her being outed with me.  Once Sun Mi had an idea in her head it wasn’t going to be shaken out though.  There really wasn’t much of a point of carrying on with the charade.  I turned to face the other three girls.

 

“Okay, so raise your hand if you already knew that Sun Ye and I were dating,” I asked all of them.

 

Predictably Ye Eun raised her hand.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sun Ye’s eyes widen when So Hee raised her hand with a smirk.  I had always had my suspicions that So Hee knew more than she let on and this confirmed it. 

 

“What!?  You knew about this and you didn’t tell me!?”  Sun Mi yelled with a glare at her best friend.

 

So Hee just shrugged in a nonchalant manner.

 

“It really wasn’t any of our business.  Their relationship wasn’t hurting the group dynamic, so it didn’t really merit mention.  Besides they seemed to be trying really hard to hide it from us.  I mean look at Leader Min’s face right now.”

 

I glanced over at my completely shocked girlfriend.  All of the color had dropped out of her face and she was leaning against the counter to support herself.  So Hee was right, she looked completely destroyed by the fact that all of the Wonder Girls now knew of her secret relationship.  There was a slight tug at my heartstrings as I realized that she was this ashamed of me, but I pushed past it.

 

“Hey did you hear that Sun Ye?” I brushed her cheek lightly with my hand to get her to snap out of her shocked state.  “They are totally cool with ‘us’ so you can just calm down, alright?”

 

Sun Ye just stared blankly back at me with her wide eyes before looking nervously at the other girls.

 

“Yeah, I’m totally A-OK with it, Leader!”  Sun Mi added enthusiastically before glaring at So Hee.  “I’m hurt that my BEST FRIEND didn’t fill me in on this, but it would be kinda hypocritical to say that you and Yubin couldn’t be special friends considering my relationship with So Hee.”

 

So Hee slapped Sun Mi upside the head.

 

“What relationship?” she let out with an angry sigh.

 

Sun Ye shakily pushed herself up off of the counter and looked up at all the other Girls cautiously.

 

“So I guess you all know now…” she said hesitantly.  “And… you all are okay with this?”

 

Ye Eun shrugged.

 

“Look I’ve known about you guys for a while and I obviously have no issue with it.  Honestly, I’m happy that _you_ are happy for once.  You deserve it, girl.”

 

Sun Mi nodded enthusiastically next to Ye Eun. 

 

“It’s true!  You work harder than any of us.  If Yubin makes you happy then go with it!”

 

I would have liked this conversation a lot better if they stopped talking like I wasn’t here, but I guess it was Sun Ye that needed the pep talk right now and not me.  A glance over at my girlfriend showed that some of the color was returning to her face as she calmed down slightly.

 

“Um thanks guys,” she said quietly.  “But you realize that you can’t spread this around or talk about it, right?  It isn’t exactly something the public should know.”

 

“We aren’t stupid,” So Hee quipped.  “Okay, well I can’t speak for Sun Mi in that regard, but I’ve known about you guys for months and I didn’t even tell my best friend about you.  So you really don’t have to worry about me.”

 

Sun Mi pumped her arm in the air with a determined attitude.

 

“You don’t have to worry about me either, Leader!  I’ll carry your secret with me to the grave.”

 

Sun Ye looked slightly less comforted by Sun Mi’s exaggerated promise than So Hee’s, but calmed nonetheless.  She smiled hesitantly at all of us. 

 

“Thanks…”

 

Her thanks seemed to satisfy the others, but I could tell that her nervousness was far from over from the look in her eyes.  She didn’t seem all that happy that the rest of our group knew about our relationship.  It definitely wasn’t a good idea to just let her stress over it for the rest of the day. 

 

“Okay now that confession time is over, how about we just start working on our late meal again?”  I suggested softly.

 

Ye Eun picked up on my hint to move on and pushed Sun Mi back towards her cutting board.  The younger girl didn’t look particularly happy to be pulled away from her new source of entertainment.  She leaned towards me secretively.

 

“Hey Yubin, you’ll have to give me some tips and pointers later on how to make So Hee happy,” she whispered with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

 

Urgh.  While I really didn’t have too much of an issue with the other girls knowing about Sun Ye and me, if it was going to result in conversations like this with Sun Mi… This was going to get awkward really fast. 

 

“Um yeah, I should probably go back to that salad I was making,” I said quickly as I ducked away from Sun Mi’s prying stare. 

 

I stepped back over to Sun Ye’s side at the vegetable cutting board and picked up my knife again. 

 

“How are you doing really?” I whispered quietly so the other girls wouldn’t hear me across the kitchen.

 

“I’m fine,” Sun Ye replied tersely.

 

“Look, that might work with the other Girls, but I know you better than that.  How are you really?”

 

“I said I was fine so I’m fine, Yubin,” she bit back at me angrily.

 

Her harsh tone just proved that my worry was justified.  I glanced at her as she chopped vegetables and could she that her brow was crinkled up.  It always got that way when she was thinking really hard or stressed.  And she was probably doing both of those things right now.  I continued chopping up vegetables from the pile in front of us. 

 

Really we both knew deep down that this day had to come sooner or later.  Even if Sun Mi and So Hee were younger than us they were still our friends.  It wouldn’t be right to keep this secret from them forever.  And we all basically spent most of our waking hours together, so it really was just a matter of time.  Obviously Sun Ye wasn’t quite looking at it that way though.  I wanted to point out the inevitability of the whole situation to her, but she probably wouldn’t be terribly receptive about it right now. 

 

We finished chopping up the vegetables and filled up a giant salad bowl with our new creation.  Sun Mi had shown that she really had no clue how to make kongbap and Sun Ye and I moved over to help her figure out what she was doing.  After some proper instructions from Sun Ye, Sun Mi started correctly preparing the beans and rice.  I watched as Ye Eun and So Hee neared the end of their bibimbap preparation.  Ye Eun was far more competent in the kitchen than Sun Mi was and clearly knew what she was doing. 

 

Sun Ye crouched down next to me and got a frying pan out from the lower cabinets and put it on the stovetop.  She daintily picked up the fish that Sun Mi had unnecessarily cleaned and threw it in the pan.  Thanks to her we would also be having a little fish with our meal.  I looked on as Sun Ye shifted the fish in the frying pan with a practiced motion.  She obviously knew exactly how to grill a fish, but it was our special time in the kitchen and I couldn’t help but want to get involved.  I glanced around at the other Girls and saw that they were all still diligently working on their own separate projects. 

 

I crept up behind Sun Ye and brushed myself against her back as I reached around her to grab the frying pan.

 

“If you leave it on that side to long it is going to burn,” I said in my usual deep voice.

 

Sun Ye jerked quickly at my touch and the fish flew out of the frying pan and onto the floor.  She shot me one of her most serious glares.  I was in trouble. 

 

“If ever there was _not_ a time for this it would be now,” she hissed at me angrily. 

 

Okay that was definitely a wrong move on my part.  I had severely underestimated how upset she was right now.  With a sigh I kneeled down and grabbed the edge of the hot fish with my fingers and tossed it into the garbage can.  I walked over to the sink and washed my hands quickly and headed out to the living room.  There was no point in the cooking activity if I didn’t get to spend time with a non-pissy Sun Ye. 

 

“I’ll be in the living room watching TV, let me know when you guys are done with the food,” I said with a huff.

 

 =========

 

 

The door to our bedroom closed behind me with a sigh.  The day had proved to be a giant exercise in patience for me.  Sun Ye’s standoffish attitude hadn’t decreased as the day went on at all.  The other Girls were far too excited about their day off to notice their leader’s attitude toward me, but for me it was all too obvious.  I had always known how nervous Sun Ye was about others finding out about our relationship, but these were our friends.  They weren’t exactly going to turn around and rat us out to the paparazzi.  Her entire reaction to this situation was a bit overkill.  We were going to spend the whole evening as a group hanging out together, but the awkward silences between Sun Ye and myself were too much to bear. 

 

I changed quickly into my sleeping clothes and climbed up onto our bed.  My head hit the wall with a dull thud as I leaned back against it.  The day had started so nicely and turned sour so quickly.  Why couldn’t I just rewind and start back again at our lovely, lingering morning in bed?  That felt like it had been weeks ago at this point and it seemed kind of unlikely that I would be having a peaceful time like that with Sun Ye again anytime soon.  I was gonna have to be totally slick to smooth this whole debacle over.

 

My eyes shot open as the door was flung wide and then shut with startling speed.  I quickly took in the sight of my very pissed off girlfriend as she glared at me from across the room.  Well this gave me significantly less time to think up some calming words than I had hoped I would have. 

 

“Why couldn’t you just keep your hands to yourself for once, Yubin?” she asked angrily.

 

I pulled myself forward off of the wall so I could look at her attentively.

 

“Really what is the point, Sun Ye?  We’ve been acting like that for ages in the kitchen together.  Literally almost every day since we started going out.  There was always the chance that they were going to see and find out.  And So Hee already knew apparently, so the only one who was really surprised was Sun Mi.”

 

“That’s exactly my point though,” Sun Ye said with an exasperated sigh.  “You ALWAYS touch me like that in public.  And eventually everyone WILL find out.  Even people who aren’t our friends.  This is just the beginning.”

 

“So what am I supposed to do then?  Never touch you again?  Is that what you want?”

 

She looked at me sadly when I said that and walked over towards the bed. 

 

“No, that’s definitely not what I want,” she said quietly. 

 

Good.  Apparently my brusque statement had calmed her down slightly.  My hands reached for hers and directed her to sit in front of me on our bed.  I lightly intertwined our fingers in a comforting fashion.

 

“And I don’t want that either.  So how about I promise that I will be more careful when we are out in public?”

 

“Really?” Sun Ye asked me doubtingly.  “I don’t know Yubin…”

 

“Yeah really.  I really promise to control myself more in public.  I wasn’t lying last night when I told you how I feel about you.  And I definitely won’t do anything stupid to jeopardize that.”

 

Sun Ye blushed at the memory of my confession last night. 

 

“I love you too, Yubin,” Sun Ye whispered.

 

A smile spread out across my face and I leaned in towards my placated girlfriend and kissed her lightly on the lips.  She pressed back with more fervor than I expected considering our recent argument.  I grinned lightly against her mouth and pushed her back onto the bed beneath me.  My hand unwound itself from hers and trailed its way through her hair.  She murmured happily into my mouth and leaned into my touch. 

 

I pulled back slightly to give us both a chance to catch our breath and she immediately shot me her best faux annoyed look. 

 

“Wasn’t I mad at you a few minutes ago?”

 

“Hmm, I really don’t remember that,” I replied with a sly grin.

 

My hand slid down out of her hair and pulled her chin up so her lips caught mine again.  If I had to keep her distracted to forget her anger I would do it.  Of course it didn’t hurt that I enjoyed it as well.  I finally untangled my other hand from hers and traced it along her stomach.  She shivered lightly as my fingers touched the bare skin on her abdomen. 

 

“And didn’t you just promise to control yourself more?” she mumbled into my mouth. 

 

“I promised to control myself better when we were in public,” I corrected her with a grin.  “Right now we are very much alone.”

 

Sun Ye wrapped her arms around my back to pull me closer.

 

“You are so shameless you know that?”

 

“And deep down you love it.”

 

 ==========

 

 

 _05/08/09_

 _My precious Sun Ye,_

 _Today was absolutely fantastic.  Okay, I could have done without some of the drama in the middle, but it really did have a fantastic beginning and ending.  I was really worried about us having an awkward start to our day, but I think we did just fine.  Really you stepped into your more sexual lifestyle just fine, especially considering how edgy you always were about it.  Maybe it’s because you stepped into it with someone you loved and trusted._

 _But you really didn’t want anyone to know about us did you?  It didn’t even faze you that the ones (more like one really) who found out about your sexuality was one of your closest friends.  Admittedly, I’ve never told anyone about my lifestyle or relationships before, but I’ve also never been in love before so it’s not like I really have any experience in this matter either.  Really, if it had been up to me though I would have told them all ages ago.  There is no point in being happy like we are if others don’t get to share in it as well.  Don’t you want your friends to be happy for you?_

 _Regardless I made you a promise and I intend to keep it.  It isn’t worth losing you over something like that.  Although it does make me a little sad deep down inside.  I mean, here I am, madly in love with you and wanting to shout it from the rooftops and you… want me to keep it a complete secret from absolutely everyone on the planet.  I’m an internationally known pop star.  I’m not that good at hiding at this point.  And are you that ashamed of your feelings?  Of me?_

 _Okay I’m gonna stop thinking about this now.  It’s just depressing me.  Instead I’ll think about how I got to spend the night with you again.  Honestly, sometimes I can just push all your buttons just right and you cave to me.  I’m not saying that you are weak, but it’s kind of like I… unlocked your latent sexuality?  Like you got a taste of me and now you just can’t stop.  Maybe that makes up for the shame you feel about me in public; you just can’t get enough of me in private.  Well it will tide me over for now, until you are ready to tell everyone else about us.  I won’t press it for now since we are moving ahead so well right now in our relationship.  But if you get angry again in the future, well I think I can handle it.  I obviously know how to push all of your buttons just right.  I’m fairly confident that I can turn any situation in my favor.  Don’t worry; I won’t use my seductive power over you for evil.  It really just amuses me that I have you so wrapped around my finger.  After all, it’s the same way for you.  You can control me with the slightest of looks as well._

 _So overall should we just consider today a good thing?  We got an inevitable fight out of the way and got to sleep together.  Um.  Twice.  Okay. Today was definitely a good thing._

 _Alright, I should probably sneak off to bed again.  It makes me kinda nervous to be away from you for long.  I don’t want you to wake up alone.  That’s always the worst feeling.  Plus I don’t exactly want to be sitting here in the kitchen by myself if any of the other Girls come out exploring.  I’m not entirely confident we were quiet a few hours ago and I would rather wait until morning to hear Ye Eun’s indignation over our loud make-up sex.  That’ll be fun I’m sure…_

 _-your apologetic girlfriend, Yubin_

 

 


	16. Chapter 15:  In the Lights of the Club There is Only You and Me

As Sun Ye’s eyes started to graze over the words in the next letter I let out a small sigh.  She had just made this meeting a hell of a lot more complicated.  And awkward.  I had to move away from this table, and her, for just a bit.  My eyes drifted over to the coffee counter.  Well I was getting a little thirsty.  I got up slowly so I wouldn’t disturb Sun Ye and walked over to my adoring fan.

 

“That must be one heck of a friend you’ve got there.  You guys keep lookin’ real intense over at that corner table,” he joked as I neared the counter.

 

“Do we really?” I asked nervously.  “Sorry she’s… she’s a very old friend.  We have a lot of past between the two of us and we are sort of taking a trip down memory lane.”

 

My fan took a long lingering look over to Sun Ye as she sat reading my letter. 

 

“I’m sorry to burst your bubble,” he said slowly, “But I’ve seen the way that your ‘friend’ looks at you and I think she might have a bit of a crush.  When you talk to her she just seems to glow with happiness, ya know?  And she also glares over at me sometimes…”

 

I couldn’t help but blush at his observant comment.  This guy had been paying more attention to us than I had initially thought.  Was this something I should worry about or should I just play it off like it was nothing?

 

“A crush?  Really?  I don’t think so, that sort of thing isn’t very common in Korea.”

 

“But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible,” he pointed out.  “Here in America that friend of yours would be all over you in a heartbeat.”

 

His statement made me laugh lightly.  Little did he know how true his comment was.  She really had been all over me when she had hit American soil. 

 

“Yeah, well I don’t think I have much to worry about.  As soon as we finish up here she is heading straight back to Korea.  She’s actually got quite the singing career there.”

 

He started to ask me a question but stopped abruptly.  All the sudden a hand fell on my shoulder.

 

“Is he going to make more drinks for us?” Sun Ye asked me happily in Korean.

 

I turned to my fan to translate for him. 

 

“She would really love another coffee.  And I would love another of your special mixed teas.  Just surprise me again.”

 

He nodded briskly and went to go make our drinks for us.  It seemed like he was a little worried that she had caught the tail end of our conversation.  I wanted to point out that Sun Ye didn’t really speak English that much so he was probably fine, but didn’t want to risk it in front of her.  I really had no idea how much of the language she even remembered from her short stint in the US.

 

“Let’s go back to the table and wait for the drinks,” she suggested with a nudge to my shoulder.  “I’d rather continue this in private and not in front of your adoring public.  Besides I don’t want him to poison your mind against me.”

 

I rolled my eyes at her as I followed her back to the table. 

 

“Again, he doesn’t speak Korean.  He can’t even understand us.  And you can barely speak English now.  You guys have a giant language barrier and can’t even speak to each other, but have still decided somehow to hate each other.”

 

She waved off my reasoning with a mysterious smile and sat down with me at the pile of letters. 

 

 “I just finished the latest letter and I just wanted to say that I am sorry.  At the time I didn’t realize how insecure I was making you feel about everything.  Um… I mean I was totally paranoid back then and I put it all on you.”

 

Well that was unexpected.  I never really thought that she would come out and apologize for her behavior back then. 

 

“Hey it’s fine,” I said slowly.  “Sure, you messed up.  But I did too.  I pushed you too hard and I regret it all the time.”

 

“You regret it?” she asked me with a small smile.

 

Crap.  I should have thought that through a little more before I said it.  Of course I had to go and say something that would fuel her hope of us getting back together. 

 

“Um yeah.  But it doesn’t change where we ended up here today.  Separated.”

 

She rolled her eyes at me as if it was just momentary set back.  God where had Sun Ye gotten all this determination over the years?  It was ridiculous. 

 

“Whatever,” I snapped at her.  “Just pick up and read the next letter.  We’ll probably have our drinks by the time you are done.”

 

Sun Ye looked at me carefully and then picked up the next letter when she confirmed that I was indeed serious about not continuing our current conversation.  Damn straight I wasn’t going to talk about this with her anymore.  But I wasn’t going to let her know that it was because I was afraid she might win. 

 

I checked the pile of letters left on the table.  There was only two left.  Thank goodness.  The longer I sat around Sun Ye the weaker I felt.  I needed to get out of here fast.

 

 

=========

 

 I woke up to the feeling of fingers gently working their way through my hair.  My eyes slowly opened and I could see Sun Ye hovering above me, propped up on her elbow.  I let my eyes flutter shut again as I reveled in the feeling of her fingertips.  This was nice.  I could definitely get used to waking up to this every morning.

 

“So look who is the sleepyhead this time around,” Sun Ye whispered in my ear.

 

“Well you aren’t exactly giving me much incentive to wake up right now,” I quipped back as I leaned into her touch. 

 

She continued to stroke my head and I wiggled myself further into her arms in appreciation.  Sun Ye chuckled lightly at my affectionate gesture.

 

“You would hardly believe that we had the biggest fight of our relationship yesterday, would you?” she asked quietly.

 

“Oh I don’t know, a lot of couples have big fights and then lots of crazy make-up sex.”

 

She raised her eyebrow at me skeptically.

 

“Oh, so we are a normal couple now are we?”

 

“Hey I never said normal,” I said with a scoff.  “Now you are just putting words in my mouth.  We are obviously never going to be normal again.  Although I could do with being normal if it meant that we got to end all our fights like this.”

 

My body instinctively shivered as she trailed her fingers up my leg underneath the sheets. 

 

“We don’t always have to fight before we do this sort of thing.”

 

Whoa.  I could feel my body heat up slightly at her words.  That was a pretty racy comment.  Especially coming from Sun Ye, who until recently was about as straight edge as was possible.  I wasn’t gonna lie, this new, sexual Sun Ye was very exciting.  It was definitely a personality that I could get to enjoy in the future.  Or right now.

 

I twisted my body free from Sun Ye’s stroking grasp and brought my face level with hers.  Just as I was about to lean in for a kiss she pulled back out of my reach.  I pouted at her as she started to slink out of bed. 

 

“Oh come on,” I whined half-heartedly.  “That is just mean.”

 

Sun Ye just smiled at me as she started to pull on some simple clothing.  I glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost ten in the morning.  Of course she would be getting up soon to get started on her daily chores. 

 

“If I had let you do whatever you had been planning Yubin, I’m fairly certain we wouldn’t have left bed for another few hours.”

 

I smirked back at her.  She had basically just admitted to what I had known all along.  She was completely at the mercy of my touch.  It definitely felt empowering.  But as long as Sun Ye remained out of bed and out of reach she was immune to my powers.  There really wasn’t much point in staying bed any longer.  I watched as Sun Ye headed to the bathroom for her morning shower before I pulled on some clothes and headed out towards the kitchen to help get breakfast started.

 

The kitchen was empty, which I expected at ten in the morning on a rare day off.  I filled up the teakettle with water and turned the coffee maker on for Sun Ye.  She always appreciated that small action in the morning.  Recently we had all promised to try more and more American foods, an idea mostly supported by Ye Eun.  I didn’t particularly mind this since I liked to have an American style breakfast anyway, but it didn’t seem to be going over quite as well with my girlfriend who was still partial to her rice and rice cakes.  With a grin I opened up the cupboards to get out the rice cakes for Sun Ye and the frying pan to use for scrambled eggs for the rest of us. 

 

“I hate you so much, you know that right?” came a voice from behind me.

 

I turned around to see a very irate Ye Eun.  Oh crap. 

 

“Good morning to you too, Ye Eun,” I said as happily as I could.  “By the way, has anyone ever told you how creepy it is when you just randomly show up behind them?”

 

“Well it’s not like anyone could sleep through all the clanking and banging you are making in the kitchen.  And speaking of banging, your complete lack of discretion last night was audible to the ENTIRE apartment.”

 

That was basically what I had assumed had happened the second I saw Ye Eun’s angry face.  Great.  I had worried about this happening.  Sun Ye was not going to be a happy camper when she got out of the shower. 

 

“It was that bad, huh?” I asked with my best hangdog look.

 

“Um let me put it this way, when I covered my head with a pillow I could still hear my best friend calling your name.  Do you have any idea how awkward that is?”

 

“Can’t say that I’ve ever been put in that situation,” I muttered.  “So can I assume that it would be too much to expect you not to tell Sun Ye about how easy she was to hear last night?”

 

Ye Eun eyed me up for a few seconds before answering.  She was definitely holding this over me just to watch me squirm. 

 

“I guess I will keep quiet.  But I really, really doubt that Sun Mi will manage to do the same.  You know the second she gets out here for breakfast she is going to open her big mouth.”

 

My lungs let out a deep sigh as I realized that she was right.  The best I could do was hope that Sun Ye would manage to stay a little bit calmer than she had last night.  Maybe after a full day of getting used to her friends knowing about her relationship she would be a little less… tense?

 

Ye Eun sat herself down at one of the kitchen chairs as I headed over to the fridge to get out the eggs for breakfast.  I sent her a questioning look to see if she was going to help be with the cooking, but she waved her hand in response.  It was always like this.  Ye Eun loved to eat food, but would much rather sit back and let other people make it for her.  Especially when she was in a bad mood.

 

“Ye Eun, breakfast would be ready much faster if you helped out too you know,” Sun Ye joked lightheartedly as she walked into the kitchen. 

 

Her best friend gave her the same apathetic wave she had given me earlier, but suspiciously avoided eye contact.  I guess it was more awkward to see Sun Ye this morning than it was to talk to me.  Sun Ye didn’t seem to notice though and moved to help me in the kitchen. 

 

“You uh… get a good night’s sleep, Sun Ye?” Ye Eun asked obnoxiously from the kitchen table.

 

Sun Ye smiled innocently back at her best friend.

 

“Yeah!  I feel really well rested, thanks.”

 

I rolled my eyes and Ye Eun nodded patronizingly back.  She hadn’t specifically said anything about last night so she wasn’t breaking her promise with me.  But she was obviously going to push it as far as she could.  She was such a brat sometimes.  I was the one who was going to take all the heat in the aftermath of the inevitable Sun Ye meltdown.

 

“That’s good,” Ye Eun continued.  “You look well rested.  Like, you have this certain glow or something.”

 

Sun Ye blushed a little at that and took the frying pan out of my hands to start making the scrambled eggs.  I looked over my shoulder and glared at Ye Eun.  She just blinked innocently back at me and I had no choice but to turn back to the cooking in the kitchen.  SUCH a brat.

 

“Good morning everyone,” So Hee said quietly as she entered the kitchen area with Sun Mi.

 

My eyes instantly locked in on Sun Mi.  For now the girl wasn’t to be trusted at all.  Sun Ye brushed past me with plates and food and put them down on the table for everyone to share.  I cautiously followed her to the table and we both sat down and started our meal.

 

“It looks like it is a lovely day outside,” Sun Ye said cheerfully as she munched on her rice cakes.  “We should all do something together since we have the time.”

 

“Really?”  Sun Mi asked with a slight frown.  “I think it’s supposed to rain soon.  You probably just think it is a nice day because your life is so full of love right now since you have Yubin.  You sure seem to care about her a lot.  I mean, you were saying her name over and over again really loudly for most of the night.”

 

Sun Mi obviously had no idea what she had just revealed, but Ye Eun started to choke a little on her eggs as she tried to hold back her laughter.  So Hee was glancing everywhere but at her leader and me as a light blush rose on her cheeks.  I sighed lightly as I glanced over at Sun Ye.  Her face had gone completely red and she looked absolutely mortified. 

 

“Seriously Sun Mi!?  Thirty seconds?” So Hee whispered angrily at her friend.  “I specifically told you what not to mention this morning and it took you thirty seconds to break your promise!”

 

So Hee’s scolding comment only made Ye Eun’s laughter break out full force.  Sun Ye ran her fingers through her hair as she looked embarrassingly at Ye Eun.  

 

“You knew about this all along didn’t you?  That’s why you were so sugary sweet this morning.”

 

“Yeah I’m sorry Sun Ye,” Ye Eun apologized as she tried to reign in her laughter.  “But everyone definitely heard you last night.  In fact, I’d be surprised if the people in the apartment below us didn’t hear you.”

 

I didn’t think that Sun Ye could blush any deeper than she already had, but she proved me wrong.  She had never been this flustered in her entire life. 

 

“Um okay… I’m just going to go hide in my room and never come out again.”

 

She stood up slowly and started to back away like a deer in the headlights.  There was no way I could just leave her looking like that.  I bolted upright and put my hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

 

“Hey, know what would cheer you up?” I suggested cheerfully.  “A coffee.  How ‘bout I get you one of those right now?”

 

Sun Ye glared at me and slapped my hand off of her shoulder.

 

“No I do not want a coffee,” she hissed at me angrily.  “And you… You never get to touch me in this apartment again.”

 

With that she stormed away to our bedroom, slamming the door behind her.  I was left standing with my hand frozen mid-air in the middle of the kitchen.  Great.  So apparently one day was not enough of a cool down time for her to get over people knowing about ‘us.’ 

 

“Ouch,” Ye Eun commented dryly.  “Doesn’t sound like you’ll be getting any for a while.”

 

I turned to glare at Ye Eun and the one who started the whole sorry state of affairs this morning, Sun Mi.  The girl looked just as oblivious as when she had started talking.

 

“Sun Mi, just say you are sorry,” So Hee instructed her friend in a whisper.

 

“Um?  I’m sorry?” Sun Mi squeaked out.

 

“Thanks Sun Mi,” I said in a deep monotone.  “That means a lot to me.”

 

 

 ==========

 

Sun Ye stayed true to her word.  For a week following the ‘morning after incident’ she didn’t let me touch her.  Not that I was really trying at all.  I wasn’t a big fan of her angry glare and I didn’t exactly want to be on the receiving end of it again.  She had loosened up slightly after the day of the fight; we were talking normally and acting normally for the most part.  But whenever we got back to our bedroom for the night we would always freeze up.  It was like we were back to our first several days in America where we both slept as far away from each other on the bed as possible. 

 

I wanted to point out that it really couldn’t get much more embarrassing with the Girls.  They had heard us.  So What?  Everyone had a good chuckle and it was time to get over it.  It really didn’t bother me as much as it did Sun Ye though.  And I wasn’t stupid enough to actually try and bring up the incident again.  But the general silence in our bedroom was killing me. 

 

It had to stop.  I turned around abruptly to face Sun Ye as she was starting to pull on her pajamas.  With a few quick strides I headed over to her dresser and pulled out some of her street clothes; a tight fitting baby girl t-shirt and her favorite pair of slim black jeans.  She shot me a questioning look and I just threw them into her arms in response.

 

“Suit up.  We are going out.”

 

She just looked at me like I had spouted something nonsensical.

 

“Um, Yubin… If you haven’t noticed it is eleven at night.  And we have work in the morning.”

 

I strode over to my own dresser and pulled out my white button down, vest, and black pants.  With a few quick motions I was changed and waiting for her at the door.

 

“I’m not going to deal with this awkward nonsense night after night.  We are going out to have fun,” I said in my best authoritative voice.

 

Sun Ye looked cautiously at the clothes I had piled in her arms.

 

“You are crazy, you know that right?”

 

I grinned back at her.  She had caved.  Now I just had to take her out to have a fun time.

 

“Yup.  Can’t deny it.  Now hurry up and change.  And be quiet about it.  We don’t want the other Girls to wake up and follow us.”

 

I watched as Sun Ye hurriedly changed out of her sleep attire and into the clothes I had given her.  All right.  Step one of tonight was complete.  Initially I hadn’t been sure that I would be able to convince her to go.  Now I just needed to find a club that would let two hot, underage Korean girls in at eleven at night.  I didn’t expect it to be too much of a problem.

 

If all went well Sun Ye was going to be in for a hell of a night.

 

 ==========

 

Fortunately I wasn’t far off on my guess that New York Clubs would let any attractive girl in, regardless of her lack of ID.  The cab driver I had hailed seemed very attuned to the hot spots that girls our age liked to hit up and gave us several suggestions.  We eventually just chose the one closest to our place, just in case we needed to make a quick exit. 

 

The club itself was your average run of the mill joint; loud music, pulsing lights, and lots of young adults.  It was very similar in style to most of the Korean clubs I had gone to back in the day, before I joined the Wonder Girls.  I was slightly concerned about Sun Ye’s reaction though.  The second she stepped in the door she froze up like a small rabbit.  It was like she had never seen this many people in such a small space before.

 

“What’s the matter?” I shouted over the loud music.  “It’s like you’ve never been to a club before!”

 

Sun Ye shot me a dumbfounded look that I barely caught in the dark light off the dance floor. 

 

“Um when would I ever have gone to a club, Yubin?  JYPE doesn’t exactly promote their trainees going to this sort of establishment.”

 

“Then let me show you what I learned when I was with Good Entertainment.  Every experience is worth it and can be incorporated into your music,” I called as I started pulling my petrified girlfriend further into the club.  “Here, lemme buy you a drink.”

 

Sun Ye dragged behind me slightly, just trying to take in all the exciting sights.  I was pretty surprised that she had managed to make it this far without talking about all the debauchery around us.  While she absorbed the pulsing atmosphere I ordered a pair of sodas.  I wasn’t about to push alcohol on her too.  That would probably be too much for her to take.  Once the bartender had filled up our drinks I handed one to her, knocking her out of her dazed state.

 

“Yubin,” she narrowed her eyes at me cautiously.  “There isn’t alcohol in this is there?  We really don’t need to get caught sneaking out to a club to drink underage.”

 

I grinned over the rim of my coca-cola.  Sometimes she was just too easy to read. 

 

“Relax Captain Serious, it’s just a soda.  I don’t want to freak you out to the point where you run away to the safe normality of home.”

 

Sun Ye sighed and shot me an apologetic look as she started to sip on her drink.  At least she realized how uptight she had been getting the past week or so.  Although I suppose her new… uh energy outlet… had been removed from the table almost as soon as she had discovered it.  It was part of the reason why I had decided to take her to a club.  You could almost taste the sexual tension in the air here as all the different couples swayed and danced to the beat.  Now I just had to get Sun Ye to relax like everyone else.

 

“So you went to a lot of clubs when you were in Good Entertainment I take it?” she said loudly.

 

“I wouldn’t say lots, but I went to a few with the other trainees.  It’s a good place to pick up new freestyle dance moves.”

 

She rolled her eyes at me in the dark.

 

“You say that about everything you do that is slightly unsavory.  It’s just your excuse to escape your rigidly structured lifestyle.”

 

“Hell yeah it is,” I said with a raised eyebrow.  “And you should ditch your mightier-than-thou attitude.  We are in a club and we are going to get down and have some simple fun.”

 

I watched her as her eyes returned to watching the throbbing mass of dancers out on the floor in front of us.  They weren’t exactly engaging in behavior that Sun Ye would term ‘appropriate for public.’  Most of the couples looked like experienced club goers; attempting to sway in time to the music, but far more concerned with their partner than the rhythm.  Hands flew everywhere while bodies grinded up against each other.  Overall it seemed like the less space there was between each couple the better.  It was no surprise that the sexual tension was so high in here; most of the dancers seemed to be at some stage of the foreplay process. 

 

It was fantastic.  This was just what Sun Ye needed.  And it didn’t hurt that I had always dreamed of taking her somewhere like this.  It was dark, crowded, and most people were only concerned about themselves.  The odds that we would actually get recognized in the feeble, pulsing lights seemed infinitesimal.  I tore my eyes away from the dance floor to look at Sun Ye’s reaction.  Her eyes had definitely glazed over slightly and I could just barely make out the faintest trace of a blush in the dark of the sidelines.  Was she thinking of dancing with me like I was with her?

 

“Hey, how about we go out on the dance floor with them?” I suggested just loudly enough for her to hear.

 

“Yubin,” she hissed.  “We can’t go out there!  There are so many people…”

 

“And someone might see us?  Sun Ye, there is easily a hundred people out on this dance floor and I think all of them have better things on their minds than some hot Asian couple dancing out there with them.  Plus what are the odds that we would get recognized in an American club anyway?”

 

Sun Ye was quiet for a few seconds as she watch the clubbers gyrate on the dance floor.

 

“I just don’t want to do something I will regret,” she mumbled over the music.

 

“Well I did make you a promise,” I said carefully.  “I said that I wouldn’t touch you in public anymore.  If you don’t want to dance with it me it is fine, but I can at least say that I wouldn’t do anything completely out of line to make you angry again.”

 

She didn’t seem to have much to say in response to that so I went back to crowd watching.  Everyone seemed to be getting more and more pumped as the DJ threw song after song at them.  This was something I really wanted to share with Sun Ye, but I knew I couldn’t push her after all we had been through. 

 

“Okay let’s do it,” came a voice at my side.  “But no rated R touching, all right?”

 

I let out a big, goofy grin at her.  She had no idea how happy she was making me right now.  Not only was I going to get to fulfill one of my dreams I had had about her, I was also going to have a chance to be close to her.  I hadn’t been able to do that in far too long.

 

“Great.  So PG-13 is fine then?”

 

Sun Ye gave me an extremely worried look as I took her half finished drink out of her hand and deposited it with mine on an empty table in the corner.  With a quick spin on my heel I grabbed her hand and started weaving her through the crowd on the dance floor.  Once I had led her to a suitable spot I stopped and tugged her closer to me.

 

“So um, how do we do this?” Sun Ye asked me nervously.

 

Honestly sometimes she could just be too adorable.  She could see perfectly fine what all the other couples were doing next to us, but she obviously wanted me to take the lead.

 

“Well first I am going to spin you around,” I directed her.

 

I lifted my arm over her head and spun her so that her back was lightly grazing my front. 

 

“And now I am going to put my hands in a totally non-sexual fashion on your stomach and then we are going to start to dance.”

 

My hands drifted down to her abdomen and pulled her slightly closer to me.  I could feel her exhale sharply as my body pressed up against hers.  Oh how I had missed holding her close to me.  It had only been a week technically, but it felt like so much longer than that.  I tipped my head to Sun Ye’s ear and spoke so she could hear me over the blaring music.

 

“And finally we start moving to the beat.”

 

I started shifting my weight so that I was swaying side to side with the rest of the dancers.  My hands held Sun Ye close to me, forcing her to move with me to the music.  For a while we just stood there, enjoying the feeling of each other.  Sun Ye eventually got over some of her initial awkwardness and had relaxed in my arms.  Always the quick learner, she watched the other dancers around us and had the motions down within minutes. 

 

“It’s not really dancing you know, more like just grinding up against your date” she said loudly.

 

“Of course it is, that’s all the fun of it,” I said with a grin.

 

She shook her head lightly and I could just barely hear the tinkle of her laughter above the blaring bass beat.  I closed what little distance was left between us and put my head lightly on her shoulder.  This was so much better.  Maybe I should have broken down and dragged her here sooner.  I turned my head slightly on her shoulder and pressed my lips to the side of her neck.  She shivered slightly in my arms and arched back against me. 

 

Deep down I knew that I shouldn’t be taking advantage of the situation and atmosphere, but the promise I had made Sun Ye was slowly fading to the back of my mind.  I let my hands start wandering over her front, tracing patterns on top of her shirt.  Just like she always did, Sun Ye started to melt into my touch.  My fingers moved instinctually, touching her in ways that I knew she liked best.  The music barely even registered at this point, Sun Ye and I had fallen into our own little world. 

 

“Wow check out all of these people!  Oh man and they are playing Lady Gaga!  I love her!”

 

I mentally winced as I heard the familiar voice.  This wasn’t happening.  Not tonight when we finally were getting back to normal.  I could feel Sun Ye’s body tense underneath my hands.

 

“Was that… Sun Mi?” she asked slowly.

 

“It couldn’t be.  How would she even have gotten here?”

 

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I saw Sun Mi, Ye Eun, and So Hee break into the crowd of dancers.  Sun Mi immediately started bopping along to the beat, but Ye Eun and So Hee looked a lot more pensive.  This was unbelievable.  As soon as Sun Ye laid eyes on the other Girls she started within my arms and moved off to the side slightly.  Another moment ruined.  Perfect.  It only took a few more seconds for the other three to spot us as well.

 

“Oh hey Sun Ye and Yubin!” Sun Mi called out across the dance floor.  “It took us a while to find you guys!  When you guys got out of the cab and walked the last block we lost track of you.  We had to go into every door down the entire length of it.  Did you know there are a lot of really shady bars around here?  But these really nice guys offered to buy us drinks and…”

 

Sun Ye darted from my side and over to the younger girls in a heartbeat. 

 

“Okay we are going home right now.  Ye Eun, I can’t believe you didn’t try and stop them from sneaking out like this.”

 

From across the floor I could see Ye Eun roll her eyes at her best friend. 

 

“You know how impossible it is to stop Sun Mi when she gets an idea in her head.  The best So Hee and I could do was follow along and try and keep her out of the worst trouble.”

 

I walked over to the other four Girls.  Guess this night was officially over. 

 

“Well I suppose it is time for all of us to head home then,” I yelled.

 

Sun Ye nodded and started to herd Sun Mi towards the exit with the others following behind.

 

“But I didn’t even get to dance yet,” Sun Mi whined.  “I’ve been practicing my club moves and everything!”

 

So Hee grabbed Sun Mi’s arm to help wrangle her to the door.  What an end to this evening.  At least I had managed to get Sun Ye to myself for almost two hours.  I suppose that was as much time as I was going to get. 

 

I glanced over at my side where Sun Ye was striding next to Sun Mi.  She really did look good in her clubbing get up too.  I reached out slightly and let my fingers trail tentatively down her back.  Her cheeks immediately flushed at my touch. 

 

Oh yeah.  I still had it.

 

 

 ===========

 

I let out a light sigh as I closed the door to our room.  It had taken a lot of effort to get Sun Mi to come back to the apartment.  I could see the guilty look in Sun Ye’s eyes the whole way home.  She obviously blamed herself for setting a bad example for the younger girl.  And that put the guilt squarely on my shoulders for being the one to drag Sun Ye out against her will. 

 

“Look I’m sorry Sun Ye,” I apologized quietly to her.  “I never thought it was going to end up this way.  And I also madly underestimated Sun Mi’s innate tracking skills.”

 

Sun Ye walked slowly over to me with a smile. 

 

“Don’t worry about it.  I had fun tonight.”

 

She trailed her fingers down my arm.

 

“Really.”

 

My eyes flicked from her hand on my arm up to her face.  Her eyes definitely had that frosty glaze that she seemed to get whenever she was thinking of something… more than friendly.  Perhaps Sun Mi’s interruption didn’t ruin everything after all. 

 

I dipped my head down and caught Sun Ye’s lips with my own.  She responded by wrapping her arms around me and pushing me over to the bed.  My knees hit against the side of the bed and crumpled, throwing both of us down on its surface.  Sun Ye barely even noticed and continued to move her lips against my own.  I knew at the back of my mind that this wasn’t the best idea considering our recent arguments, but I couldn’t help myself.  This was just too good.

 

My breath caught in my chest as Sun Ye sat up on my hips and started to scoot her shirt up and off her body.  As soon as she was done she made short work of my own vest and button down.  Apparently the ‘no touching’ week had been just as rough on her as it had been on me.  I raised myself up off the pillows and aimed for her neck, knowing it was her weak spot.  She stopped me before I ever even reached my goal and instead seized my lips with her own, lightly grazing her teeth over my bottom lip.  Damn.  She knew how crazy it drove me when she did that.  How quickly she had turned the tables on me. 

 

Everything dissolved into a blur.  The next thing I knew I was pinned underneath her as she took control.  This was very unlike her.  Usually she let me take the lead.  I barely had the mental capacity to force back my comment about how she had to make sure to be quieter this time.  At least I had the foresight to know that would be a bad move.  I closed my eyes as I basked in the feeling of Sun Ye tracing my collarbone down onto my chest.

 

“Oh by the way Sun Ye, remember that we have to be up early to do that special meeting with JYP and…”

 

My eyes bolted open and darted over to the door.  Ye Eun was standing there with her jaw hanging low.  Dammit.  Didn’t any of our friends know the meaning of the word ‘privacy?’ 

 

“Wow… and I thought it was bad just listening to you guys.  Now I am going to have the mental image of my naked best friend straddling my group mate for the rest of my life.  Fantastic,” she sarcastically quipped.

 

As quick as she appeared she was gone, slamming the door behind her.  I hazarded a quick glance up at Sun Ye for the first time.  She was frozen still staring at the door where Ye Eun had burst in.

 

“Hey… Sun Ye.  Are you okay?” I asked cautiously.

 

At the sound of my voice she snapped out of her stupor and backed off my body.  Okay so maybe the pleasure of ruining our night would go to Ye Eun and not to Sun Mi.  I could see the same terrified look in her eyes from a week ago. 

 

“We shouldn’t be doing this.  We can’t be doing this,” she whispered urgently.

 

“Why Sun Ye?  What are we doing that is so wrong?  We are together and love each other, right?  If we make each other happy then what is the issue?”

 

I watched as she scooted further away from me and wrapped a sheet around herself.  That wasn’t a good sign.

 

“Look… I don’t think it is a good idea for us to both sleep here tonight.  Maybe you should just go out to the living room…” she trailed off quietly.

 

What?  I was being banished to the couch?  Wow.  That was a new one even for me.  I narrowed my eyes at her to see if she was serious.  She avoided my stare and just tightened the sheet around herself.  So that was it then.  I quickly got out of bed and slipped into my sleeping clothes and grabbed a few things from my desk.  When I got to the door I paused. 

 

“Um… goodnight then I guess,” I said hesitantly hoping that she would take this chance to stop me. 

 

Sun Ye remained where she was on our bed and nodded slowly at me.  Dammit.  I turned and stalked angrily out to my new space on the couch. 

 

 ==========

 

 

 _05/15/09_

 _Sun Ye,_

 _What the hell.  If I thought the past week or so was ridiculous that was nothing compared to tonight.  I mean seriously.  We were having a perfectly good time, a great time even, and then you banished me to the couch.  And all because Ye Eun walked in on us?  Okay, I can understand us stopping because the mood was lost, but why the hell am I getting punished here?  You were the one who initiated tonight.  You were the one who undressed me.  For once you were the one taking the lead.  I’ll concede that all the other times we got caught I was the one to blame, but this one was all on you._

 _Urgh.  I’m sorry.  I’m probably just bitter because it is cold out here and I forgot to take a blanket with me.  And there is no way in hell I am going back to the bedroom to try and get one._

 _… nevermind.  I wrote that apology and stared at the page for several minutes.  My mind is bouncing all over the place and I can hardly focus.  It obviously means that I am upset.  But I think I realized why am I angry now.  It’s not because you are being a giant hypocrite tonight, although that is slightly infuriating as well.  It’s mostly because of the look I caught in your eyes after Ye Eun had left the room.  At first I thought it was just terror over being caught in the act by your friend.  But the more and more I replay it in my mind the clearer it is._

 _There was shame there.  Are you really that ashamed of being with me?  I guess it isn’t much of a surprise really; you have always been this way.  Even when we first started dating you hated it when I tried to touch you in public.  But it appears to have reached new levels ever since we have moved our relationship onto the sexual plane.  We seem to have two very different views on us.  We really need to sit down and talk about what the hell to do about this, because it is really starting to make me feel insecure.  You more than anyone else should know that I already have issues with that._

 _So I guess this is another giant step back for us then, huh?  You’ll probably want to go back to us sleeping like statues again, complete with standoffish attitude in public.  Great.  No matter how hard I work for our relationship… I dunno… Lately it feels like I am trying to climb up a mudslide.  No mater how hard I try, I just keep slipping backwards.  You better have a diary or something to help you sort out your thoughts like I am trying to do now because otherwise we might end up spinning in circles._

 _You know, my ability to make you melt at a single touch used to be something I was really proud of, that I was the only one who had that effect on you.  But it seems to be the thing you are most afraid of between us.  You never want to lose control like that because that is when you let your defenses down.  And then people might see you for what you are.  I see you as someone who is enjoying herself, madly in love, and happy for once.  But you?  Well… I don’t even want to know what passes through your head to make you so upset all the time.  It would probably just depress me._

 _Okay I can’t write any more.  Even this letter isn’t really helping me to focus my thoughts.  All I can do is think about tomorrow and what is going to happen.  You’ll probably go back to ‘platonic in public’ and Ye Eun will probably pitch a giant hissy fit again.  I can only imagine her reaction when she wakes up to find me on the couch…_

 _No matter what… I’ll always love you._

 _-your honest girlfriend, Yubin_

 

 


	17. Chapter 16:  The Big Bang Finale

I took a sip of my lukewarm tea as I watched Sun Ye put down the latest letter.  I hadn’t even realized how much time had passed as I watched her read.  Sun Ye reached down and picked up her coffee and grimaced slightly as the cooled liquid touched her throat.  She pushed it to the side quickly and looked at me pensively instead.

 

“I’m sorr-”

 

“Stop,” I commanded her before she even finished her sentence.  “I already told you that I don’t need your apologies.  It’s all in the past.”

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the way I acted back then.  I swear I didn’t even realize what I was doing half the time.  Reading these letters now… it’s just unbelievable what I put you through.  I really was acting a right bitch.”

 

This wasn’t what I wanted.  Sun Ye didn’t have to grovel at my feet for forgiveness.  I really did mean it when I said that the past was the past.

 

“You weren’t a total bitch,” I said quietly as I fiddled with my tea cup.

 

“Yubin.  I kicked you out of your own bedroom when I was the one who wanted to have sex, not you.”

 

I blushed lightly at her blatant words.  Damn my weakness to her.

 

“It wasn’t like I DIDN’T want to have sex,” I mumbled back.

 

She smiled lightly at me before continuing onwards.

 

“I really was terrible back then.  It’s just… I was so afraid.  Of everything.  The amount of pressure I was under was unbelievable.”

 

“Yeah I know,” I said coldly.  “Remember, I was there too.”

 

She winced a little at my harsh reply.

 

“Yes, but it wasn’t quite the same, Yubin.  As leader I had a lot of expectations riding on me.  Every meeting I had with JYP ended with the same statement.  ‘Make the other members proud to follow you.  Be their leader, their mother, their role model.’  It was only a matter of time before all of that took a toll on me.”

 

“Sun Ye, You don’t have to justify your actions to me.  It’s over and done with.  We can’t change what has happened now.”

 

“At the end you wrote ‘I’ll always love you’…”

 

My breath caught in my chest.  Of course she would pick out that sentence.  I closed my eyes and steeled myself against the inevitable conversation to come.

 

“We can’t change what has happened,” I repeated slowly.  “We just have to move on with our lives and make the best of things.”

 

Sun Ye closed the letter lightly and slid it back in front of me.  I opened my eyes and glanced down at the paper where my own declaration of love from years ago stared back at me.

 

“But have you moved on Yubin?  Or is what you wrote still true?  Do you still love me?”

 

I had to fight the urge to run out of the café and away from this volatile situation.  She was bringing up this issue far too much for it to just be a friendly reunion.  There was no doubt in my mind anymore that Sun Ye very much wanted to get back together with me.  But we had a promise right now.

 

“There are still two letters left, Sun Ye,” I said quietly.  “Read those and I will give you your answer.”

 

Sun Ye’s eyes grew slightly as she heard my open ended reply.  I shouldn’t have given her the false hope.  She scrambled for the next letter and opened its cracking paper.  I knew from its poor, water-stained condition exactly what note it was.  Her eyes started to drift sadly over the words I had written and I looked down at my teacup again.

 

What was my answer to her pointed question?  I had two letters left to decide.

 

 

===========

 

 

Why was it that every time I was fairly happy with where my life was progressing something would push me back two steps?  Sun Ye and I had been slightly off since the day Ye Eun had walked in on us.  Ye Eun had naturally had her fun the morning after; she mocked when she found me on the couch and had made numerous jokes about me being whipped.  But she was pleasantly silent when Sun Ye happened to be around.  She apparently knew where to draw the line when teasing her best friend, which was excellent because Sun Ye had obviously had enough of that.  So in the end, the aftermath of the event seemed to be mostly in Sun Ye’s head. 

 

Sun Ye acted like none of our drama from the past several weeks had ever happened.  It worked well for her; she was back to being her regular, cheerful leader self.  I was glad for that, but she also put up a new wall with me.  It was like our relationship had devolved to what it was before we came to America.  We touched, held hands, and even kissed occasionally, but never more than that.  It was like living in a Disney movie.  I knew I should be happy with even that much.  And to some extent I was, but I had walked on the dark side with Sun Ye, tasted her.  It was something I would never forget and I wanted to experience it again.

 

More than that, I just wanted her to recognize what had happened between us.  She didn’t talk about any of the issues between us lately and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up.  As sad as our new, stilted relationship was, it seemed to be accepted by the both of us.  It wasn’t like we had much time to think about it anyway.  JYP had all of us on a ridiculous study and practice regimen.  Whenever we weren’t studying English in class we were in the studio working on our ‘Nobody’ and ‘Tell Me’ English performances.  It was grueling work.  JYP had hinted in a few meetings that there was some end goal for all this work, but he had been tight-lipped on the details.  We had another meeting with him today and all of us expected this to be the day we were finally enlightened.

 

“JYP certainly is taking his time,” Ye Eun whined loudly.  “I could be doing something productive right now.  Or eating lunch.  Urgh, I could be eating lunch!”

 

“Your food obsession bit is getting old,” I bit back at her.

 

Ye Eun just stuck her tongue out at me mockingly and glanced at the door to the hallway impatiently again.  I could feel Sun Ye’s hand snake around my own in a comforting fashion under the table.  Had that really calmed me in the past?  All I could think of now was swinging her hand out from its hiding place and putting it on the table in full view of all the other members.  They all knew already, so it would be fine right?  Why did she insist on sneaking around like this?  Did she get off on it or something?  Obviously not if our nights on separate ends of the bed were any indication…

 

“Cheer up,” Sun Ye said, stirring me out of my dark thoughts.  “JYP told me he has something really fun planned for us.”

 

Yeah.  Cause a JYP surprise could really bring me out of this funk.

 

I sighed and tried to smile back at Sun Ye to reassure her that everything was fine.  The potentially awkward moment was ended by JYP walking through the door with a huge grin on his face.

 

“Alright Girls.  I know you have all been in suspense about what I’ve been working on lately and I have finally nailed down the details.  I really want you Girls to make it in America, but I don’t want you to sacrifice your fans and popularity in Korea for it.  So I’ve been talking to some people at MTV Korea and they have saved a spot on Friday’s special for you to do a short live.  It should drum up a good bit of hype and keep the other girl groups coming out now on their toes.”

 

All of us looked dumbfounded at JYP.  We had expected news about our US work, not a return to our homeland.  I could see Sun Ye grin widely next to me.  She was no doubt thrilled to get away from English for a bit and go back to speaking Korean.  Sun Mi and So Hee both looked excited too.  They probably couldn’t wait to see their families again.  It was rough being the youngest.

 

“Yes!  Finally some decent Korean food!” Ye Eun cheered.

 

We all rolled our eyes at Ye Eun’s predictable enthusiasm before we started chattering amongst ourselves over the news.  JYP chuckled and waved his hands for us to settle down.

 

“You Girls didn’t even let me get to the best part.  I mentioned the idea of a comeback to the head of YG Entertainment and he liked it so much he decided to do the same thing with Big Bang since they have been promoting over in Japan.  And since fans have always loved the Wonder Bang collaboration lives…”

 

“A joint come back with Big Bang,” Sun Ye gasped excitedly.  “This is fantastic!  All the Wonderfuls will be so surprised.”

 

“Exactly,” JYP said with a nod.  “Of course this doesn’t give you a lot of time to work on your performance with them.”

 

I counted the days until Friday night in my head.  Three.  But with the time difference it would end up closer to two…

 

“When do we leave?” So Hee asked curiously.

 

“I’ve already booked you a flight for tonight.  Head back to your apartment and start packing immediately.  You’ll be briefed about your performance during the flight.  Good luck and show ‘em you’ve still got it.”

 

He smiled at us one last time before slipping out of the meeting room to leave us alone to discuss.

 

“A live with Big Bang!?” Sun Mi twittered as she bounced up and down in her chair.  “I’ll get to see all my big brothers again!”

 

“We’ll get to see people with a Y chromosome again.  That alone will be fantastic.  America has isolated us more than ever,” Ye Eun complained.

 

“It’s true.  We haven’t worked with any non-staff guys in a very long time,” Sun Ye said wistfully.

 

Ye Eun smirked and raised her eyebrow at her best friend.

 

“I think the fact that you have a girlfriend means you are disqualified from our ‘want to see guys’ conversation.”

 

Sun Ye blushed at that comment and looked down at the table in an embarrassed fashion.  I grinned at Ye Eun for her excellent jab at Sun Ye’s sexuality.  At least I wasn’t getting in trouble for reminding her of my existence this time.  Honestly, it was something that worried me.  With all the issues we had been having I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be running off to see hot boys in Korea.  I’d always been slightly possessive of Sun Ye and I was sure that meeting Big Bang was going to just trigger that again.

 

“What’s got you in such a huff, Yubin?” Ye Eun nagged me with a nudge to my side.

 

“She’s just worried that one of the Big Bang boys are gonna put the moves on Sun Ye,” Sun Mi said sagely.  “It’s reasonable wince they are all so mad slick.  Especially that Tae Yang.  He got along well with Sun Ye last time.”

 

I glared at Sun Mi for just reaffirming my fears.  I really didn’t need to be hearing that from my friends too.  I got enough of that paranoia within my own head.  Sun Ye let out a light sigh at my side.

 

“I think we are starting to lose focus on this now.  We have to prepare ourselves for this live seriously.  This is going to be a really important live for us and all our dedicated Korean fans.  We have to go pack and get ready for it.”

 

Sun Ye stood up from the table and went to the door.  She held it open and motioned for the rest of us to head outside towards our apartment.  The kids jumped up and ran out the door, excited to pack for our impending trip.  Ye Eun followed a bit more pensively, but I could tell that deep down she was just as excited as Sun Mi and So Hee.

 

I got up from my spot at the table and went to follow the others back to the apartment.  When I reached the door I was stopped by a hand on my arm.  My eyes drifted up to meet Sun Ye’s.

 

“The Girls were just messing around earlier,” she said with a serious look.  “You know I would never leave you for one of those extravagant Big Bang members, right?”

 

My heart beat loudly in my chest.  This was the most Sun Ye had reached out to me in weeks.  I wrapped my hand around hers and we trailed out of the door after the other Girls.

 

“I know.  They are all giant showboats anyway.  And G-Dragon has bad hair.”

 

I really did believe everything Sun Ye had just said.  After all, the issue with our relationship was never that she might like boys.

 

===========

 

 

“JYP wants to reach out to the Korean fans, but at the same time he wants to remind them of all the hard work you have been doing overseas.  YG Entertainment feels the same way about Big Bang’s work in Japan.  So you will be performing ‘Tell Me’ and ‘Nobody’ in English.  Big Bang will be doing their Japanese ‘MY HEAVEN’ and ‘Gara Gara Go.’  It will build excitement for all of the Korean fans since it will be the first lives either of your groups do of those songs in Korea.”

 

The staff member JYP had sent with us was terribly long-winded.  I sank further down in my seat as he went over the details of our upcoming live.  He had gone over most of this information when we first got on the plane, but apparently he felt the need to go over it again before we got off in Seoul.  I glanced at the seats in front of me.  Ye Eun and So Hee looked bored out of their minds and Sun Mi had already dozed off.  That seemed like a pretty decent idea right now.

 

I turned to my side to look at Sun Ye.  She was leaning forward in her seat paying close attention to the staff member.  Of course.  Sun Ye lived for debriefings and work.  She was just eating this meeting up.  I was already done listening to the staffer drone on and on. 

 

The middle portion of our flight earlier had been far more interesting to me.  JYP had booked us the entire first class section so we had all that space to ourselves.  The other three Girls seemed to entertain themselves and it had left Sun Ye and me alone for a while.  She had even felt comfortable enough that she had fallen asleep on my shoulder, fingers intertwined with mine.  I had been exhausted and knew I should sleep to better adjust to the Korean time zone, but I just didn't have the heart to close my eyes when Sun Ye had fallen asleep on my shoulder.  It was one of the few times when she completely let her guard down and I had wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.  Unfortunately she had woken up when the pompous staff member had showed up to debrief us again.

 

“Big Bang will lead off the show and because Sun Ye can speak some Japanese she will join in on ‘Gara Gara Go’ and act as a bridge between the two groups.  Then the rest of you Girls will come out and sing your songs.  Since G-Dragon can speak English fairly well he will join in on Yubin’s rap at the end of ‘Nobody’ and then Big Bang will come out again for your Wonder Bang medley.  There won’t be major lyric changes since there isn’t enough time, but you will sing together,” the staff member explained.

 

Urgh.  This guy was still talking? How could he keep going on like this?  We had heard this all before and it should have been obvious that Sun Ye was the only one paying attention anymore.

 

“And then after the performance we do a quick interview, right?” Sun Ye asked enthusiastically.  “Followed by a little bit of free time to see our families?”

 

The staff member nodded in confirmation.

 

“We are landing in a few minutes.  You’ll go straight to the rehearsal hall from here.  JYP will meet you there in a few hours since he had to catch a later flight.  We may have also leaked news of your arrival time at the airport, so don’t be surprised if there are reporters and fans waiting for you.  Good luck!”

 

I could feel Sun Ye stiffen automatically at the mention of reporters.  They always put her slightly on edge.  And when Sun Ye was on edge, I was on edge.  The butterflies were already ruffling in my stomach.  I watched apprehensively as the staff member moved to the front of the plane to take his seat.  Sun Ye twitched nervously next to me.

 

“Why is it that I am more nervous about performing in Korea again than I was when we were in America?” she asked me quietly.

 

“Hmmm I don’t know… Maybe because they already have certain expectations of you?  America didn’t even know who we were so it seemed harder to disappoint them.  But in Korea…”

 

“All of our roots are there,” she said softly.  “I care so much more what they think.”

 

The two of us clicked our seatbelts on again and prepared for landing.  Sun Ye took a deep breath and braced herself against the turbulence of the plane’s descent.  Usually I was a bit more anxious about flying, but my mind was distracted.  I couldn’t shake her last comment out of my mind. 

 

Her words pricked at my heart.  She cared even more about how she was perceived in Korea?  If she was getting jumpy in America I could only imagine what was in store for us in Korea.  Somehow I seemed to know exactly how she felt about our return home, albeit for entirely different reasons.  There was something electric in the air, I could feel it.  It was that sensation that I got when something big was about to happen.

 

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely even noticed when the plane had touched down and coasted to its resting place.  No more time to think things over.  The second we stepped off the plane we would be at the mercy of the inevitable hordes of people waiting for us.  As soon as the pilot gave the okay we all jumped out of our seats to get ready.  So Hee combed nervously through her hair in an attempt to fix it after the long flight and moved to help Sun Mi when she proved to be too distracted to do it on her own.  Ye Eun grabbed her bag and turned to Sun Ye happily.

 

“Ready to get some good Korean food?”

 

“I think we have a whole ton of other things to do first,” Sun Ye said with a chuckle.

 

At least she was loosening up slightly.  Although it did make me slightly sad that I wasn’t the one to reassure her.  I took a deep breath and got my bag down from the luggage rack and headed toward the plane door with everyone else. Might as well get our big entrance over with as soon as possible. 

 

“Ready?” I asked Sun Ye quietly.

 

“As much as I’ll ever be,” she said with a small smile as the plane door opened.

 

My eyes hadn’t even gotten adjusted to the light before I was having questions flung my way by reporters and fans alike.

 

“How was your time in America?  Will you be returning soon?”

 

“Did you come home because you weren’t successful with English ‘Nobody’?”

 

“Were you Girls terribly homesick?”

 

We walked calmly out of the plane, a striking contrast to how panicky most of us probably felt on the inside.  Sun Ye acted the perfect leader and dove headfirst into the waiting crowd to sign autographs and answer questions.

 

“We’ve been working hard in the US,” Sun Ye said loudly to the audience.  “But in the end it is really all for you guys.  We want to make it possible for all sorts of Koreans to cross the cultural border in America and make our small country famous in the international music scene.  You guys are the ones who give us the energy, thank you!”

 

The crowd cheered loudly at Sun Ye’s inspirational speech.  The girl was good; she covered all the bases with expert precision.  There really was nothing left for the rest of us to say.  We followed her lead and worked our way through the crowd signing autographs.

 

“We heard you were living in the American JYP apartments.  How did you like them?”

 

“How did the American public react to your English singing release?  Did they think it was okay?”

 

“Sun Ye, You and Yubin have been seen together a lot in the US, are you going to finally reveal a real Sunbin relationship?”

 

I stopped midway through my current autograph.  This had high potential to turn ugly.  Sun Ye had never been honestly questioned about us.  I hazarded a quick glance up at my girlfriend to see her reaction.  She was over twenty feet away, but I could still see the color drop out of her face at the distance. 

 

“That’s ridiculous,” Sun Ye denied in an utterly serious tone.  “We were just exploring New York City together.  I would never date another member of the Wonder Girls.  That’s just silly.”

 

My hand quickly darted across the paper to sloppily finish the signature I was working on.  I hurriedly handed the autograph to the happy fan and moved back from the swarming sea of fans and made my way to the exit.  Behind me I could hear Ye Eun stammering apologies to fans as they tried to join me in the walk to our waiting car.

 

“Hey are you okay?” Ye Eun asked me as she jogged into place next to me.

 

“Yup, never better,” I lied through my teeth.

 

So the idea of Sun Ye and I was ridiculous was it?  I knew she was saying it just to brush off that question, but it still hurt to hear her denying it so vehemently.  Like the very idea repulsed her.  Man, my thoughts were so negative.  And I hated myself all the more for my insecurities.

 

 

 ==========

 

“Wait, so you guys walk in front of us for ‘Nobody’ or behind?” Ye Eun asked impatiently.

 

We had already gone over the beginning of the performance several times to give G-Dragon and Sun Ye a chance to do run throughs of their other language parts.  They had managed to catch on very quickly, but now the rest of us were trying to piece together the rest of the performance.  JYP’s flight still hadn’t gotten in yet so we were left on our own.

 

“Yeah from behind.  And then I hear Ye Eun and I are supposed to kiss for dramatic effect,” Dae Sung said with a hopeful wiggle of his eyebrows.

 

Ye Eun rolled her eyes and pushed Dae Sung away playfully.

 

“Keep on dreaming, big boy.”

 

Urgh.  It had been like this for the past several hours.  We would get a few minutes of practice in and then we would spend a few minutes goofing off.  It was mildly irritating.  Our solo practices were never this loose.  Even our practices with 2PM were more focused than this.

 

“YG didn’t give us much to go on,” TOP explained as he looked over a sheet of paper.  “I guess they figured that between the ten of us we would come up with a good show.  It does say we should do duet sections like the last live.  With the same pairs since they all went over so well.”

 

My eyes narrowed as Taeyang took a few steps closer to Sun Ye. 

 

“I can definitely do a freestyle dance up on stage,” he said as he looked Sun Ye up and down.  “With such a beautiful girl as inspiration it will be easy.”

 

I could feel my nails digging into my palm as my hands curled into fists.  Dammit.  The Big Bang boys put the moves on her even faster than the 2PM members.  And there was nothing I could do.  In the past I would have thought up a way to take her back, like I did when we were practicing for tango ‘Nobody,’ but that was out of the question now.  Sun Ye had made me promise not to embarrass her in public.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ye Eun’s eyes dart to my flexing fists worriedly.

 

“It might be our best bet to try and do just freestyle dancing.  We can pick out the songs in advance, but there really isn’t enough time to prepare anything major for this,” So Hee pointed out.

 

TOP nodded slowly in approval.

 

“That’s decided then.  We were also told to just keep it to our overseas work, so we will split up the songs in between us and each group of two can do a different section of the four songs.”

 

“Okay so after Ye Eun and I do a bit of ‘Gara Gara Go’ then we get to make out?” Daesung asked hopefully.

 

“Only after I have taken Sun Ye in my arms and wrap myself around her,” Taeyang countered with a tip of his token b-boy hat.

 

Sun Ye giggled and batted at Taeyang’s arm in a halfhearted attempt to get him to stop.

 

That was the last straw for me.  I turned on my heel and started walking toward the dressing room they had set up for us.  This practice had obviously devolved into just flirting and I didn’t have to stand here and helplessly watch as Taeyang jumped on my girlfriend. 

 

“Ahh Yubin!  Where are you going?” Sun Mi called out after me.

 

“To the dressing room.  Call me when you guys figure out the details for the end of the performance.  Until then I’ll be in the back putting together my outfit.”

 

I took one last look at a very surprised Sun Ye and made my way to the back of the soundstage.  As soon as I was in the dressing room I slammed the door and started to flick through the clothing racks for our performance angrily.

 

This was never an issue before.  Sure guys would flirt with Sun Ye, who wouldn’t?  She was hot and they couldn’t take their eyes off her.  But in the past I would generally let it go.  I knew that at the end of the day she would be coming home with me.  Now I just felt like I couldn’t be so sure about that.  Before when a guy flirted with her she would smile awkwardly and then move on. 

 

My eyes drifted closed as I rested my head against the cool metal of the clothing rack.  I could still see Sun Ye playfully flirting back with Taeyang in my mind.  Dammit.  Nothing was like it was before.  She had more confidence than she had when we first started dating.  I wanted to be happy for her, but I just couldn’t get past the painful, tight feeling in my chest when I thought of the two of them.

 

But what hurt most of all was the fact that it was better for her.  She could do this sort of thing in front of the staff and audiences and people would eat it up.  It was something that Sun Ye and I would never have.  She had promised me that it would all come out eventually, but that pledge hadn’t been mentioned by her in a very long time.  Could I keep going with this sort of thing being flaunted in front of me constantly?

 

I pushed myself up off of the clothing rack and started to honestly look at its contents.  There was no point in sitting back here wallowing in my self-pity.  I had a job to do and I would follow through.  No matter how much it hurt me sometimes.

 

 

 ==========

 

My breath came out in ragged gasps.  I could feel Seungri’s eyes on me as he slipped his hands down lower on my body as we stayed frozen mid-dip.  Urgh.  Did he really think he could play grab ass with me in front of thousands of fans?  My hand that was hidden from the audience moved to pinch his arm.  He winced and moved his hands back up to a far more neutral position on my back.  Our freeze pose ending felt like it was lasting forever despite the fact that I knew it was only eight seconds long. 

 

I dodged Seungri’s lingering eyes and glanced over towards Sun Ye.  She was standing frozen in front of Taeyang as he pretended to kiss her neck.  Anger thrummed through my veins as I realized that Taeyang had basically succeeded in getting what he jokingly mentioned wanting in our practice yesterday.  There was no justice in the world. 

 

“And that was Big Bang and the Wonder Girls, back to Korea after their respective debuts in Japan and the US!”

 

The announcer’s voice startled us all out of our frozen places.  I straightened up from my dip with Seungri so fast I almost broke his nose in the process.  Somehow I didn’t feel too bad about it.  I brushed off my shirt lightly just to get any lingering essence of boy off of myself and moved over towards the side of the stage with the announcer for our interview.  Seungri followed behind me like a scolded puppy, but seemed to have learned to keep his distance.

 

“So Big Bang you have been working hard in Japan on your newest single release,” the interviewer started as we got into place next to her with our microphones.  “You have some solo work coming out soon in Korea, but I hear you plan on working mostly on your career in Japan for now?”

 

“Yeah, we have been received really well over in Japan and our new single ‘Gara Gara Go’ actually went really high up on the Oricon charts.  We want to continue to push into the Japanese market for a bit longer.  But I promise we will all be back in Korea soon enough,” TOP replied with his cryptic smile.

 

“I’m sure a lot of the ladies out there are eagerly waiting for that,” the interviewer joked as a swarm of girls in the audience cheered.  “And we have all been hearing about the excellent hype that you Girls are receiving in America as well.  Do you ladies have any plans for making your way onto the Billboard charts in the US?”

 

Ye Eun chuckled lightly as she moved in to answer the question.  All for the best.  I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with an interview right now.  I could still hear the blood beating angrily in my ears.

 

“JYP has been working with us very closely for our US debut.  Our English ‘Nobody’ is already out on iTunes and has been selling really well.  I’m sure that JYP has something up his sleeve right now that will give us the big break we need to take the US by storm.”

 

“That JYP certainly does know his way around the business.  I’m sure you Girls will be fine.  Now this live was something that was specifically engineered as a special treat for all your VIP and Wonderful fans.  Was it difficult to take the time out of your oversea schedules to get ready for this performance?”

 

G-Dragon bounced lightly on his feet and tweaked his headband with a grin. 

 

“It was a little hard, but it really comes together easily with our two groups,” he said with a nod to the screaming WonderBang fans.  “We basically decided that we would just freestyle the paired dancing segments at the end because we didn’t have enough time to practice together.”

 

“Oh my goodness!  So all the dancing at the end was made up on the spot?” the interviewer asked in a surprised voice.

 

All ten of us nodded lightly.  It really had come together surprisingly well, just like G-Dragon had said. 

 

“I would never have been able to guess that!” the interviewer chirped happily.  “You all look so natural together!  Especially Sun Ye and Taeyang over here.  You moved flawlessly!  Don’t tell me it is because all the rumors flying around about you two being an item are true?”

 

I watched as Sun Ye blushed lightly at the interviewers prodding question.  The blood pounding in my ears got louder.  Not this again.

 

“Wonder Girls and Big Bang have always been close,” she said in her melodic voice.  “It’s only natural that we would flow together so well.  And when you work in an industry as isolated as this one, it’s surprisingly common to drift towards the few people you get to see often.”

 

She might have said more but I couldn’t hear it anymore.  All I heard was the angry thumping of my heart.  Just yesterday she had angrily denied the possibility of a relationship with me in a similar question.  But today she was cheerfully implying that there could be potential relationships with Big Bang members in the future?  Dammit Sun Ye.  Do you even see what you are doing to me? 

 

I stared coldly as Sun Ye tugged lightly on Taeyang’s vest, her words still failing to reach my ears.  She was right.  They looked as natural as could be.  My eyes fell shut as I struggled to maintain my composure despite the fact that I very much felt like I was going to throw up all over the stage.  My emotions were running frantically through me, but one thought seemed to be ringing through loud and clear.

 

Sun Ye and I were over. 

 

 

 ==========

 

 

 _05/24/09_

 _Sun Ye,_

 _Urgh dammit.  I’ve started this letter over and over again about ten times now.  Every time I get a few sentences into it I just ruin the paper with tears and make the ink run all over the place.  I can already see some smears appearing on this one, but I don’t think I can continue to just sit here in our empty apartment writing the same thing.  Thank goodness all of you Girls are with your families tonight and aren’t here to see me like this.  I must look like a terrible wreck right now.  Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time I cried this hard.  The only thing that has come close was when I was first joining the Wonder Girls and felt like I would never fit in with everyone._

 _It’s weird.  Now that I’ve gotten most of my tears out of the way all I can think about is that conversation we had when we were packing for America.  You know, the one about what it would take for me to completely break down.  I guess I was completely right about that one.  All it took to push me to the breaking point was you.  And it’s not even like you did one defining thing to do it either.  It was more like the realization did me in here._

 _I’m going to break up with you._

 _There it is.  I never thought that I would ever write those words.  Or even think them really.  But these past few days have showed me that it is really just inevitable.  I can almost understand you denying us being a couple in front of strangers.  But you also deny being with me in front of our own friends.  I’m not going to be your little mistress in the shadows, Sun Ye.  Someone who is there when you need a quick fuck, but you ignore when anyone with a heartbeat is present.  A year ago I probably would have been happy with that.  But now…  It hurts to have you do this to me._

 _Back when we first got together you promised me that we would take it slow and eventually let all our friends and then the public know about us.  Remember that?  Well obviously you don’t, but I did what you asked.  I kept us a secret.  I took it slow.  And all I got in return was a fit when our friends found out and the cold shoulder when the public eye picked up on it.  Seriously?  I feel like I have done everything you have asked of me only to be pushed off by your paranoia.  Can’t you just be happy for once?  Can’t you let both of us be happy?  So what if the public doesn’t approve.  Our relationship isn’t about them._

 _But I guess you wouldn’t see it that way.  For you it is always about the job.  The public.  The fans.  Being with Taeyang or Woo Young is just so much better for your career.  You would dodge the angry fangirls and boys here and there, but in the end they would all accept it.  You obviously never saw telling them about your gay relationship with me as an option, despite what you might have promised me.  Dammit Sun Ye.  I love you so much and you said the same to me.  But I would have to be blind to miss the fact that your one true love is your job.  Apparently I can’t really compete with that._

 _I really don’t know how to go about this.  I feel like everything is just falling apart at the seams around me.  You won’t be around for a day or so since you are out with your family, so that give me a few days to think this over.  I won’t do it in front of the other Girls if I can help it.  But it is going to go so much further than that even.  We aren’t going to be the only ones affected by this breakup.  Maybe this was a stupid relationship to have after all.  Urgh.  I feel like I can’t sort this out in my head on my own.  It’s just too big._

 _There is someone I will have to talk this over with tomorrow.  I don’t know what will happen after that point…  I don’t want you to hate me over this.  But I also can’t just stay in this sort of ‘shameful’ relationship with you.  It isn’t good for either of us._

 _Dammit.  Here come the tears again.  I don’t want to ruin the letter…_

 _-yubin_

 


	18. Chapter 17:  Like a House of Cards

I watched as Sun Ye put down the tearstained letter quietly.  This was another one of those letters that I really didn’t want to talk about, although this wasn’t for embarrassing reasons.  Some of these notes I had really poured my heart and soul into and this was one of them.  Sun Ye shuffled the piece of paper into the pile of read notes, but kept her eyes on its dog-eared edges sadly. 

 

“The date on that letter was May 23rd…” she whispered.

 

Of course it was.  I knew exactly what she was trying to get at.  It seemed the exact date of our breakup wasn’t erased from her mind either. 

 

“You… left… days after that was written.  And you had doubts about our relationship even further before that.”

 

I nodded slowly in confirmation. 

 

“Why didn’t you just talk to me about it?  About any of this?” she asked me with a sad look.

 

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.  “Why didn’t you?”

 

She stared back at me for a few seconds before rubbing her face with her hands.

 

“We were both idiots back then,” she said.

 

“It’s not like we knew any better.  It was the first time either of us had been in a relationship quite like that.”

 

Sun Ye just looked at me sadly before wringing her face in her hands again.

 

“I was so blind to everything,” she mumbled.  “I can’t believe I didn’t see any of this coming.  I didn’t even notice the way I was treating you.  All I wanted to do was what was best for us and our career in the Wonder Girls and it made me totally blind to how you might be feeling.”

 

I closed my hand on top of hers in an attempt to calm her down.  That’s funny.  When did I put my hand there?  Urgh.  I always seemed to lose control of my body around Sun Ye, even after years apart.  Now was not the time for this to be happening. 

 

“Really, I had my fair share of totally idiotic moments too.  I mean I was slow to move on everything in our relationship, even breaking up with you.  That was really insensitive of me to do.”

 

Sun Ye seemed to cheer up slightly at my own admission of guilt.  She glanced at me with a wry grin.

 

“Yeah that was pretty terrible of you,” she said quietly. 

 

My hand that was resting on top of her flicked her playfully before I pulled it back.  The further away from her, the safer I was. 

 

“There is just one letter left,” I said slowly.  “Then we get to talk.  Just like I promised.”

 

She nodded silently and we both stared at the piece of paper in between us.  One letter left.  Despite the time that had passed since it was written, we both knew exactly what that letter was about.  Sun Ye picked up the battered note apprehensively. 

 

“This is it then…”

 

 

=========

 

 

 

My sneakers scuffed lightly against the carpet as I made my way slowly through the hallway.  I had been through this building hundreds of times in the past and I knew that I would find my way to the right place, regardless of whether or not I was thinking about it.  The thought only encouraged me to let my mind drift.

 

This morning had been terrible all around.  I had woken up on the couch at about six, only one hour after I had fallen asleep.  After giving myself a once over in the mirror I was glad that none of the other Girls had come back to the apartment last night because I looked an absolute mess.  My face was tearstained and my hair frayed from my long hours of crying.  The fact that I only got one hour of sleep definitely didn't help at all either.  I had spent the whole night trying ot figure out what to do now.  I  knew I wasn't going to back down on ending my relationship with Sun Ye.  Once I made up my mind I very rarely changed it.  Now the question was how I was going to go about the break up.  It wasn't exactly a subject I could ask for advice form anyone on, which left me with very few options.  After a whole night of thinking (and crying) I had finally made up my mind on what had to be done.  And that was what brought me here. 

 

I stopped and stood outside the large oak door.  This was it.  There would be no turning back on my decisions after I talked to this person.  My hand ran through my hair nervously and I took a deep breath.  It was now or never.  I shifted closer to the heavy door and knocked lightly on it with my knuckles.

 

“Come in,” came the muffled voice from inside.

 

After an additional few seconds to steel my courage I reached for the doorknob and let myself into JYP’s office.

 

As soon as JYP saw that it was me and not a staff member he gave me a curious look. 

 

“Yubin, I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said with a small smile as he continued jotting down notes on a piece of paper in front of himself.  “You do realize that today is your day off and you don’t have to be here working right?”

 

Urgh.  Why did he have to be so nice to me?  It was only going to make this all the more difficult.  Our time together in America had brought us so much closer together and it felt like I was about to betray my older brother, not my producer.  I shook my head lightly.  No.  I had to do this.  There was no other way around it.

 

“JYP…” I whispered quietly.  “I want to leave the Wonder Girls.”

 

That seemed to get his attention.  The pen he was writing with dropped out of his fingers and he looked up at me cautiously.

 

“Yubin, do you realize what you are asking for right now?”

 

I glanced at my hands as I fidgeted in front of his desk.  I knew what I was asking for alright.  I had thought about it for hours during my restless night.  It was the first thing that popped into my head after I knew I was going to break up with Sun Ye.  There was no way I could break up with her and still manage to perform competently as a member of the Wonder Girls.  I loved her too much to be around her without acting on it.  We had always talked about what a bad idea professionally it was for us to date while being in a group together.  Now it really left few options.  If we were going to break up, I had to leave, totally and completely. 

 

Yes, I knew exactly what I was doing.  My body straightened up and I looked JYP in the eyes. 

 

“I know what I am asking for and I know the repercussions for it.  It’s something I’ve given some thought to and… I think it is the best choice for me right now.”

 

JYP looked at me sadly and examined my eyes.  It was making me nervous, like he could read everything he saw in them.  The last thing I really wanted him to know right now was the truth.

 

“I’ve given you a great opportunity.  You have all of Korea and soon America at your feet.  Can I at least know why you want to leave that behind?” he asked slowly.

 

“Something… something has come up and I just feel it would be best for me to move on right now.  I don’t feel comfortable working with the Wonder Girls at this point.”

 

I dodged his searching eyes as he raised an eyebrow curiously at me.  Dammit.  Why did he have to look at me like that?  It was like he could read completely into me.  Like he knew exactly what was going on right now.

 

“I see,” he said with a slight frown.  “Well I hope that being in the Wonder Girls has taught you a valuable lesson about show business.  And building relationships with other people in the biz.”

 

What the hell was that supposed to mean?  JYP really was a mastermind at this sort of thing.  So many different things could be read into that sentence, and I couldn’t help but feel that he knew everything that had gone on up to this point. 

 

“So what exactly do you plan on doing now?” he asked me seriously.

 

“I-I’m not sure,” I stammered out.  “I’ve been working really hard on my rapping and I think I might try and go solo with that.  In America maybe...”

 

He closed his eyes and folded his hands in front of himself.  I could tell he was deep in thought about the situation and I didn’t want to interrupt him.  It was several minutes before he opened his eyes and spoke to me again.

 

“Before we go on with this, I want to make sure you understand several things about what will happen when you leave the group.”

 

I nodded hesitantly at him.  There would be repercussions, I already knew that.  I was breaking my contract by leaving this early.

 

“The Wonder Girls were in the process of moving into America and honestly you were one of the major draws for that.  With you no longer in the group… I will mostly likely pull them back to Korea and cut off any further plans for overseas involvement.  It just isn’t feasible when the entire group dynamic will have to be reworked.  By leaving the group you will be taking that American success away from them.  Are you sure you are okay with that?”

 

Wonder Girls wouldn’t expand into the US?  I had never considered that as a repercussion of my leaving.  I honestly only thought of the penalties against myself.  Could I really go through with this if it was going to hurt the other Girls who had nothing to do with the matter at hand? 

 

Taeyang and Sun Ye laughing together flashed through my head.  I couldn’t be around her as she continued to deny what we were to each other.  I had given enough to the Wonder Girls, now it was time to do this for me.  It was the only way.

 

“I feel bad about it of course, but this is something I have to do for myself.  I still want to leave the Wonder Girls.”

 

JYP looked back at me appraisingly.  I must have met his approval since he nodded at me and began to shuffle through some paperwork on his desk.

 

“Alright then.  All that is left is the matter of your contract.  If you left the group normally you would of course be breaking that signed agreement.  But you have always been a bit of a special exception for us.  What I can do is shift your contract to another label, just like we did when you moved from Good Entertainment to here, which means you won’t get penalized like you normally would.  Of course, you would be entirely under their control and I can’t promise how they would treat you over there in their company.”

 

“What do you mean by ‘over there’ exactly?” I asked JYP carefully.

 

“You said you wanted to go to America right?  I’ve been talking with Def Jam Records about sending them some Korean talent for a while.  They already know about the Wonder Girls and you and I am sure they will only be too happy to take your contract.”

 

Whoa.  America!?  Okay sure this is kinda what I had wanted.  I had been living and working there for the past several months, but this was a totally different ballgame.  This was a genuine American record label. I wouldn’t get the concessions I had gotten before for being a native Korean.

 

“So once you give the okay I will call up the managers at Def Jam and tell them that we will give them your contract in a show of good faith and then we will pull the Wonder Girls back to Korea.  I’ll have to decide what I am going to do with them later…”

 

Could I really go through with this?  I was going to be killing the Wonder Girls’ US career to jumpstart my own.

 

“Okay,” I said shakily, surprising myself with my answer.  “When would this shift begin?”

 

“As soon as possible.  I honestly already had some shows lined up for you Girls in America, so I’ll have to call and cancel those.  But you will probably be asked to fly back to the US to meet with Def Jam management within a couple of days.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they put you into even more intensive English classes than the ones you have had with us.  It’s going to be a lot of hard work, Yubin,” he said.

 

“I’ve never been afraid of hard work,” I said honestly.  “Just one thing.  Can I be the one to tell the other Girls of my decision?  I feel that I at least owe them that much.”

 

JYP looked at me with his judging stare.

 

“That sounds fine, but you should do it as soon as possible.  Today even.  Once the wheels start moving on this, even I won’t be able to stop them.  If you don’t let them know soon I won’t take the blame if they find out from other sources, or even myself.”

 

I nodded in agreement.  This was a lot of pressure to have suddenly thrown on my shoulders.  There was nothing I could do but deal with it.  After all, I had brought it on myself.  I walked slowly towards the door to let myself out.  Once I had my hand on the doorknob I was stopped by the soft sound of JYP’s voice.

 

“I always knew you were meant for bigger things, Yubin.  Good luck…”

 

A bittersweet smile tugged at my lips.  That meant a lot coming from him.

 

“Thank you… for everything.”

 

===========

 

 

I sighed as I let myself slide further down on the couch.  It had only been an hour since my meeting with JYP, but it felt like so much longer.  After I had gotten back from the JYPE offices I had sat down on the couch, ready to call up all the Girls and let them know what was going to happen, but I just couldn’t bring myself to follow through.  I glanced down at my open cell phone in my hand.  Wasn’t just calling them over something as life altering as this a little detached?  Shouldn’t I tell them this in person?  It just seemed a little rude to drop such a bombshell over a phone line, despite how urgently JYP had told me to move on this. 

 

My hand holding the cell phone twitched.  I couldn’t just call them.  These were my closest friends.  My girlfriend.  I certainly wasn’t going to potentially ruin their lives with an impersonal phone message.  And an over-the-phone break up with Sun Ye wasn’t in the cards. 

 

I glanced at the clock.  It was just ten in the morning.  My eyes drifted shut as I let out another sigh.  The other Girls had the whole day off work and would mostly likely spend it with their families.  Since my family was still living in America I really had no one to visit like them.  It looked like I was going to be spending my whole day wallowing in self-pity and dreading the moment when they would all come home.  At least it gave me time to try and figure out a way to break the news to them that didn’t make me sound like a terrible bitch.

 

“Hey Yubin, what’s got you so down?” came a quiet voice next to me.

 

My eyes darted open and I was face to face with Sun Ye.  When had she gotten back to the apartment?  I had been so deep in my own thoughts I hadn’t even noticed her open the door.  She gave me a worried glance and then sat down on the arm of the sofa next to me.

 

“Um nothing…” I mumbled unconvincingly.  “Just tired is all.”

 

She raised her eyebrow and gave me a skeptical look.

 

“Shouldn’t you be with your family or something?  I figured you would be out all day with them.”

 

“Well that was the plan,” she said sadly.  “But my dad wasn’t feeling well so we had to put him to bed early.  Plus I figured you might want some company since you were going to be here all by yourself.”

 

I raised my eyes to meet stare warily.  Her eyes glinted with that bright sparkle they got whenever she was thinking impure thoughts.  Oh hell no.  This was not happening right now when I had just confirmed my departure from the Wonder Girls.  When I had just decided to leave her…

 

“The other Girls probably won’t be back until tonight since we don’t have anything planned until tomorrow.  I thought maybe we could cook up some lunch or something… you know.”

 

Her fingers trailed through my hair as she leaned over me slightly on the couch.  I let out a shuddering breath.  We couldn’t do this right now.  I had to be strong.  It would be wrong to take advantage of this situation.

 

“I was thinking about going out for lunch actually,” I said as I scooted away from her slightly on the couch.  “You know, get some authentic Korean food or something…”

 

Sun Ye moved with me further onto the couch, stretching her body out with mine. 

 

“Perhaps for dinner we could go out with the Girls.  Is there anything I could do to convince you to stay in for lunch?”

 

I could feel her breath tickling my ear as she arched her neck to nibble on my earlobe.  Oh hell… This was going nowhere good fast.  I couldn’t let her get into this when she didn’t know everything that was going on now. 

 

“I don’t know, I mean I really like that little place around the corner,” I babbled to try and keep my mind thinking of anything besides what Sun Ye’s tongue was doing.  “They have this really good lunch special where you get free rice cakes with any regular sized meal.  And rice cakes cost so much nowadays with the economy and all and… oh hell.”

 

Sun Ye’s tongue traced its way along the outside of my lips and I knew I was done.  I pushed her off of me and flipped her on her back so I was pinning her to the couch.

 

I was such a weak person. 

 

 

==========

 

“I’m so bad at everything…” I whispered quietly to myself. 

 

“What was that?” Ye Eun asked me curiously.

 

 “Nothing, um… just talking to myself,” I replied nervously as I walked a bit further away from the Girls.

 

It had been a full day since my meeting with JYP and I still hadn’t told any of the Girls about my leaving the group.  Yesterday I had a good chance, but I ended up getting rather preoccupied with Sun Ye, something I still terribly regretted.  I had also passed on the opportunity to tell Ye Eun, So Hee, and Sun Mi.  They had shown up late at night after spending the day with their families, but they were in such a good mood from their trip back to Korea that I just hadn’t had the heart to tell them either.  How could I ruin their nice day off?  We always got them so rarely.  I didn’t want to destroy that for them.

 

“Come on Yubin,” Sun Ye said as she marched over to me.  “Get over here with the rest of us.  We have to finish getting ready for the photoshoot.  We only have a few hours and then we have to go back to the apartment to get ready to return to America.”

 

“That won’t be entirely necessary,” said a voice from the side of the photo shoot area.

 

I cringed mentally at the sound of JYP's voice.  Dammit.  He hadn't been kidding when he said I should tell them as soon as possible.  I gave him a worried look as he strode up to the group of us.  He returned my gaze with a concerned expression, but I knew there was nothing I could do to stop him.  All I could do was stand there and watch as all my friends' dreams of international stardom crumbled at their feet.

 

“Um was there a change in our flight information?” Sun Ye asked innocently.

 

Urgh.  I was such a terrible person.  JYP gave me another apprehensive look.  It was fairly obvious by this point that I hadn’t told them anything yet.  I gave him a slight nod to encourage him.  It had been a day, I had my chance to let them know and I had blown it. 

 

“I’m pulling the Wonder Girls from any future plans in America.  We are going to go back to having you all stationed here in your native Korea,” JYP continued in his authoritative voice.

 

I wanted to run and hide the second I saw the disappointment hit all of my friend’s faces.  Especially Sun Ye’s.  She looked absolutely crushed at the news.

 

“But… why?  I thought we were doing surprisingly well at breaking into the American market?” she asked in a quivering voice.

 

“You have, but due to a change in the membership of the group…”

 

“Wait.  What!?” Ye Eun shouted angrily.  “What are you talking about?!”

 

“I had a member come to me yesterday to drop out of the group, so I’ve decided to end all Wonder Girls oversea activities until the group dynamic can be resolved.”

 

All of the other Girls looked at each other anxiously to try and figure out who it was that was leaving the group.  I couldn’t bear to watch them anymore.  Suddenly my shoes seemed very interesting.

 

“This photo shoot is officially postponed for now.  Yubin, go back to the apartment immediately and pack your bags.  Def Jam Records wants you at their offices in the US as soon as possible to sign your revised contract with them,” JYP said in an even-tone.

 

I could feel all of the Girl’s eyes shift to me.  Hell.  This was it.

 

“Yes, sir,” I replied quietly.  “Thank you for everything.”

 

JYP nodded slowly and walked out of the photo studio leaving me very much alone with all of my friends.  Were we still friends?  I didn’t even know anymore. 

 

“You’re leaving us Yubin…?” I heard Sun Mi ask me sadly.

 

I glanced up at the younger girl.  She looked so very sad and alone.  I never even thought about how sad the younger girls would be.  We really were like a giant family at this point. 

 

“Yeah Sun Mi,” I whispered softly.  “I’m sorry.  It was just something… Something I had to do.”

 

So Hee moved next to her best friend and grasped her shoulder to comfort her.  Sun Mi turned her friends embrace and I could see tears starting to well up in the girl’s eyes before she buried her head in So Hee’s shoulder.  I turned my gaze cautiously to Ye Eun.  She didn’t look nearly as sad as the younger two.  Her face was a stony mask as she glared at me.

 

“I hope you realize what you are doing.  And I don’t just mean to us, Yubin.  I could care less about what your actions have done to me.  I’m not the one getting hurt the most here.”

 

She glanced over at her side where I knew Sun Ye was standing.  I had avoided looking at her on purpose.  I didn’t think my heart could take it to see her in tears.  My eyes dropped down to my shoes again and I could hear the clicking of heels coming closer to me.  Sun Ye’s perfectly polished heels came into view near my own feet.  This was it.  It all had to come out now.  It’s not like I could run any further away than America anyway.

 

My eyes trailed up her body slowly, taking their time to make it up to her face.  When I finally looked her in her eyes I was a little surprised by what I found there.

 

She was angry.  Angrier than I had ever seen her before.  I barely had time to register her hand coming towards me before it slapped me full force.  The blow sent me staggering a few steps to the side.

 

“How COULD you, Yubin!?” she hissed angrily in between her teeth.  “You were leaving the group and you never even mentioned it to us?  To ME?!  I didn’t even merit a little bit of an advanced warning?  I can’t believe this…”

 

“I’m sorry Sun Ye… It really wasn’t official until yesterday, I swear.  I wanted to tell you… but it was so hard.”

 

“Yesterday…”

 

I could see the fire in her eyes grow as she remembered what exactly we had been doing yesterday instead of discussing this.  Dammit.  I really was a terrible person.  How had this all gotten so messed up? This wasn’t how I wanted this to play out.  I didn’t want to do it in a studio in front of everyone.

 

“I can’t be with you anymore Sun Ye…”

 

Her eyes widened as the statement rolled off of my lips.  I reached out and let my hand rest on her arm to try and calm her down slightly.

 

“It’s not working out and you know it.  And I can’t continue to be in the group with you after all we have been through.  I’m sorry…”

 

Sun Ye trembled underneath my hand before swatting it off her angrily.  I had never seen her this upset before.  Not when the other Girls found out our secret.  Or even when the public questioned her about us.

 

“So that’s it then?  You think you can just apologize and make everything you’ve just dumped on us, on me, okay?”

 

I winced a little at her cutting words.  It was harsh, but I deserved them.  She turned to walk away from me but stopped after a few steps.  With a shudder she turned back towards me and gave me a cool stare.

 

“Whatever Yubin,” she spat out with contempt.  “Last to join, first to leave.  You were never really one of us anyway.”

 

Her words rang in my ears and my blood instantly felt like ice.  I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes as I turned and walked quickly towards the exit and my new career in America.  I was an open book to Sun Ye.  She knew everything about me. 

 

Including what to say to hurt me the most.

 

 

 ==========

 

 _05/26/09_

 _Sun Ye,_

 _I’m sitting here, crying, on a plane back to the United States.  Are you crying over me back in Korea?  Urgh… We both did some terrible things to each other today and all I can think is… How did we end up like this?_

 _The past few days seem like such a blur.  I never expected everything to happen like it did.  I figured that I would get fined by JYP for breaking my contract and that I would just go back to college.  Maybe I would get to follow you guys on the internet like any other fan would.  But then he put this record deal with Def Jam in front of me… and I couldn’t say no.  Not because it was a fantastic job, but because it was the perfect opportunity for me to run away from you.  Come on, you know that we wouldn’t have been able to be in the Wonder Girls together normally after all that had passed between us.  If I wanted to break up with you I was going to have to leave you completely, and JYP happened to drop that right in my lap._

 _I should have told you though.  It’s not like I didn’t have enough chances to do it either.  When you came home early from your family I had the perfect opening, but instead I did something terrible.  I’m such a weak person.  I couldn’t even say no to you when I knew that I was about to destroy all that you have worked for in your career, that I was about to break up with you.  Urgh.  I’m as bad as those boys you see in dramas, taking advantage of girls.  Does it really matter though?  You probably would have been just as upset with me, even if we hadn’t had sex one last time.  And it isn’t like you were an angel on cloud nine either…_

 _Your last words to me will be that I was never really a member of the Wonder Girls.  I can’t believe that you would do that to me.  I told you my deepest insecurities because I trusted you, thought that they would be safe with you.  You picked out the one thing that you knew would hurt me the most and said it.  Every time I close my eyes I hear your words echoing in my ears and the tears start flowing again.  I know that what you said was a lie.  After two years together we were a solid unit, a family.  My doubts over acceptance by you guys had basically passed, but it still hurt to hear it.  Especially since you were the one saying it._

 _So I guess this is how we will part ways.  I don’t know what I expected really.  I knew deep down that it wasn’t going to be a pretty break up.  I’ve left many girls behind in the past, but none quite like you.  It’s almost been a year since all of this began… That’s longer than I’ve ever been in a relationship with someone before.  I guess the same goes for you too._

 _They say first love is always the worst to get over right?  Maybe all the distance between us will lessen the pain.  Maybe we will get over each other quickly.  Hopefully you’ll leave our messy break up behind and find yourself someone who can take care of you, love you, openly in a way that doesn’t trigger your paranoia.  And I can get someone who loves me for me, even my deep-set insecurities._

 _Dammit Sun Ye.  I never wanted it to end like this.  I never wanted ‘us’ to end.  The more I think about everything the more bitter I feel and I hate it.  I don’t want to ever think about you negatively, but it just seems to be coming in waves lately._

 _Whatever.  It doesn’t matter anymore.  It’s not like I am ever going to send you these letters anyway.  But I can’t bear to throw them out either.  They are basically like a diary of all our time together.  I’ll probably just throw this one and all the others in a drawer somewhere and let them collect dust until the day comes when I have enough courage to destroy them._

 _I hope you get over me Sun Ye.  I’ll try to move on and forget you, but I know it is an impossible goal._

 _Goodbye._

 _-your yubin_

 

 


	19. Chapter 18:  Letters (Continued)

I fidgeted in my seat as Sun Ye looked over the last letter in the bunch.  This was sheer torture.  There was no way I could just sit here, waiting for her to finish looking over our painful memories, thinking about how I was finally going to have to confront her about… everything. 

 

My eyes darted quickly to the door.  I could run.  I was good at running.  It had served me well in the past with Sun Ye.  Of course I’d run to America then and she had somehow managed to make her way back to me here.  There really wasn’t much I could do to get further away now. 

 

Urgh. 

 

There was no way I could just make a break for it this time.  The whole point of this ridiculous meet up was to finish what was between us once and for all.  A clean break.

 

…And now I was sounding like a broken record.  It had only been five hours or so, but it felt like I had thought about that figurative ‘clean break’ about a hundred times.  Was I really that dead set on never seeing Sun Ye again?  Or was I just trying to convince myself that it was the best idea?  God, I couldn’t even tell anymore.  My head was starting to feel like it was filled with cotton that was blocking out all logical thought. 

Okay, I definitely had to move or do something.  I scooted out from our corner table as quietly as possible and made my way over to the coffee counter.  My fan immediately straightened up and looked markedly more nervous when he saw me approaching.  It was kinda adorable, in that ‘it’s never gonna happen’ sort of way.

 

“Um you look like you could use a tea refill over there,” he said with a small blush.

 

“Yeah that might be nice.  My mind is a complete mess right now and some caffeine might actually help.”

 

He gave me a quick smile and turned around to whip up a fancy new tea for me.  I had to admit; sometimes having rabid fanboys did come in handy.  They always worked so hard to please me, although it never really got them anywhere. 

 

“So um… you and your friend seem to have a lot reading,” he stammered out as he mixed my new drink.  “Is it business or something?  Like contracts and stuff?”

 

“Hardly!  I wish it was something that simple.”

 

My fan poured my new drink into a fresh cup and pushed it towards me on the counter.  I reached toward my tea with a grateful smile.  He gave me a bashful look and I felt his hand fall lightly around mine on my cup. 

 

“I mean I’m a pre-law student, so if it was something with contracts I might be able to help you out,” he said slowly.

 

Wow.  Was this guy for serious?  I hadn’t actually met a fan who had the guts to hit on me quite that blatantly in a very long time.  It was almost impressive.

 

“Hey Barista Boy, I think Yubin can pick up her drink just fine on her own.”

 

My fan instantly withdrew his hand from mine and stepped back a few steps.  Sun Ye’s angry tone had definitely freaked him out. 

 

Whoa.  Wait a second…

 

I spun around on my heel to face my ex-girlfriend.

 

“You speak English just fine!?” I yelled at her in Korean.

 

“Well I don’t recall ever saying that I stopped studying English,” she responded in her native tongue.  “You were the one to jumped to the conclusion that I must have forgotten everything I learned.  I was hardly going to just stop learning the language because the Wonder Girls weren’t going to go to America.”

 

My face felt like it was permanently frozen into a mask of shock.  What Sun Ye said made sense.  It really was wasteful to just let all her English knowledge fall into disuse.  And judging from her perfectly unaccented attack on my fan, she had been studying more than ever.

 

“So all this time you haven’t had a language barrier between you and ‘Barista Boy’ over here at all?”

 

“Not at all,” she said with a narrowed gaze at my fanboy.  “I wasn’t lying when I said that Mr. Touchy Feely here was hitting on you.  I could hear it perfectly.  Plus I’m not blind.”

 

I grabbed my tea off the counter and turned back toward our chairs.

 

“Thanks for the tea,” I called over my shoulder in English before turning back to Sun Ye.  “And you!  It shouldn’t matter to you whether a guy hits on me or not.  It’s not like we are together anymore, Sun Ye!”

 

She looked at me guiltily as she took her seat with me at our table. 

 

“That still remains to be seen.  You’ve been avoiding conversation on the matter I believe.  But now I’ve finished all your letters so…”

 

“Well you kinda finished my letters,” I said grumpily.

 

I pulled my bag closer to me and reached inside for the second bundle of papers.  My hands shakily pulled them out and pushed the package across the table towards Sun Ye.

 

“Now you have all my letters.  These are all my responses to the mail you sent me.  Don’t bother reading them now.  They are all basically the same bitter tirade.  In fact, you might not even want to look at them at all.”

 

“Of course I’ll read them,” she said softly as she fingered the new pile of letters.  “I’ve waited a very long time for any sort of word from you.  I’ll treasure them all.  And I deserve all of the anger you put in them.”

 

“Good.  If you are looking forward to them so much than you can just keep them.  All of them.”

 

Sun Ye gave me a surprised look. 

 

“Are you really that eager to be rid of all memories of me?” she asked quietly.

 

Crap.  I didn’t mean it that way. 

 

“No Sun Ye.  They were all written for you.  It’s only right that you keep them.  That’s all I meant.”

 

She fingered the letters lovingly as she stacked them up.

 

“Thank you…”

 

I twisted my fingers nervously.  Geez this couldn’t get any more awkward.  We both knew where this conversation was going to go and it was just a matter of who was going to bring it up first.  All this time had passed and I still wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.  My eyes darted toward the door again. 

 

“Look Yubin, I followed the rules of our deal.  Now it’s time for you to hold up your end of the bargain.  Now we get to talk.  About whatever I want.”

 

And it was totally obvious what Sun Ye wanted. 

 

“You want to get back together with me…”

 

Suddenly Sun Ye looked as nervous as I felt.  At least I wasn’t the only one fidgeting in my chair anymore.

 

“Yubin… I know we had a rough end to our relationship and everything, but after you left and came here I had a lot of time to myself to think.  How I acted was… terrible.  But the more I looked back… those were some of the best days of my life.  You made me so very happy and I think I made you happy too.  Let’s just go back to that, restart everything completely.  We can do it right this time.”

 

I looked across the table at Sun Ye’s pleading face.  She really wanted this.  Wanted me.  Just thinking about being with her again made my chest constrict tightly.  Only she made me feel this way.

 

“Sun Ye, those were some of the happiest days of my life too.  I loved you so much, but… you just didn’t return that.  I mean, you said that you loved me, but just parroting back what I said to you didn’t make it a reality.”

 

She averted her eyes and looked down at the pile of letters. 

 

“Love… true love… is to give up everything,” I said with a sigh.  “I risked everything I had for you, but you just weren’t willing to do the same for me.  Your career always came first and you didn’t want to sacrifice that.”

 

“I know,” she whispered.  “I know all of that.  I think that the whole experience was so new to me… having someone in my life… it just seemed easier to say that I loved you back.  Everything was such a whirlwind back then, I feel like I never even had a chance to think about it.”

 

“I had plenty of time to think about you,” I mumbled quietly.

 

Sun Ye reached across the table and took my fidgeting hands in her own. 

 

“And when you left me I finally had that too.  I may not have appreciated what I had back then, but I do now.  I can… I do love you.  It’s been years Yubin… and nothing has felt right since you left.  Tell me that I’m not too late.  That you still love me too.”

 

My heart was racing at a mile a minute and I couldn’t even remember the last time I had taken a breath; that seemed to be far beyond me at the moment.  Sun Ye was here, telling me she loved me.  I had dreamed about this numerous times before, more than a few of those occurring after we had broken up.  I had wanted this for so long, but now that it was here… I wasn’t sure what to do.

 

I hadn’t been lying before when I had said that my days with Sun Ye were the best ones in my life.  But they had also been some of the most painful.  That’s what love was, right?  You had to risk getting burned if you wanted the big payoff in the end.  Could I really put myself in that weakened position again for Sun Ye?

 

I raised my eyes to meet Sun Ye’s.  Her eyes were filled with hope, but I could feel her hand quivering slightly on my own.  She wanted this.  She really wanted this.  It had been a really long time since I had honestly had someone care about me this much, and she looked absolutely beautiful doing it.  I watched as started to chew her bottom lip nervously.  All I wanted to do was lean across the table and kiss her.

 

Crap. 

 

My eyes darted to the door.  Running really had served me fairly well in the past.  I tore my hands out from Sun Ye’s, grabbed my bag, and bolted for the door.  Sun Ye called out my name behind me, but I tried to ignore it as I jerked the door open and started to run.

 

Unfortunately I didn’t get very far before I felt a hand grab my arm roughly.

 

“Are you seriously immature enough to just run off before giving me an answer?!” she hissed angrily at me. 

 

She tugged on my arm to make me face her.  Her eyes were flickering dangerously at me and her breathing was slightly ragged from chasing me.  Dammit.  Even her angry, hurt expression was beautiful.  I couldn’t help but feel drawn to her.  My brain was screaming at me to keep running before I got trapped again, but I silenced its complaints as I leaned in towards Sun Ye.

 

I could feel her breath hitch as my lips touched hers lightly.  It was only a matter of seconds before she started to respond and she lightly grabbed the front of my hoodie to steady herself.  The deeper our kiss became the hazier my mind got and I appreciated her extra support.  Her teeth lightly grazed my bottom lip; it took all my self control to suppress a moan at her attentions.  I pulled back lightly so that my lips were lightly grazing her own.

 

“I will always love you, Min Sun Ye.”

 

And with that I broke out of her loose hold and started to walk briskly away from the girl that owned my heart for the second and last time. 

 

 


	20. Epilogue (intro to Emails)

BZZZ BZZZ

 

My hand slammed down on top of my alarm angrily.  great.  I had just had the worst sleep of my life.  I guess meeting and leaving the love of your life again could really wreak havoc on your REM cycle.  And now I really didn't want to have to wake up early.  Stupid, high-powered rapper job.

 

BZZZ BZZZ

 

Argh.  I’d hit my stupid alarm already so why hadn’t it shut up?  I shot a glare at my clock.  Four AM?  I had to wake up early for my job, but not this early. 

 

BZZZ  BZZZ

 

Of course.  If it wasn’t my alarm then it was probably my cell phone.  My foggy, sleepy mind was definitely not my friend this morning.  I stretched my arm out and grabbed my phone off my nightstand without leaving the comfort of my bed.  Hopefully I would be able to get back to sleep after this.  My fingers flicked open my cell and I languidly held it up to my ear.

 

“Took you long enough, Yubin.  I thought that you were just going to sleep through my very important phone call,” my manager joked in a mock angry tone. 

 

“Well it better be important for you to wake me up at four in the morning, Joe.”

 

“Oh trust me,” he said happily.  “It is.  I actually only just got the phone call about this myself.”

 

I grunted apathetically and buried my head in my pillow. 

 

“So the manager of Interscope Records called me up today.  You know how collaborative they are trying to make all of Universal Records now-a-days.  Really I’m basically always expecting calls for you to work with people.  Especially since your recent song with Robyn went over so well…”

 

“You know what would go over really well with me?  Getting sleep at some point tonight, Joe,” I mumbled out from my pillow.

 

“Okay fine.  Long story short, they have a project for you.  Not really a collaboration per se, but they want you to work closely with a new artist.  You know, help her get into the groove of an American record label, point her in the right direction, mentor… etcetera…”

 

“Wait… American record label… She’s foreign or something?” I said sleepily.

 

“Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that?  She’s Korean, just like you.”

 

I bolted upright on my bed, all thoughts of sleep disappeared from my mind.  No way.  There was no freaking way.  With a toss of my hand I threw my sheets aside and bolted towards my computer, fingers flying across the keyboard to find all the Korean Entertainment news sites that popped into my head. 

 

“Oh hey,” Joe's voice rang in my ear.  “I just got her file and it looks like she was in that Korean girl group you left a few years back.  I guess you know her after all!  Small world huh?”

 

My eyes stared blankly at my computer screen.  All of the sites confirmed exactly what Joe had just said.

 

Min Sun Ye was expanding her solo career in America.

 

“So I have to meet with Sun- I mean this new Interscope artist today then?”

 

“Yup!  She’s apparently quite the hit in Korea right now and after you did so well over here Universal is really going to start pushing the Asian artists into the American market.  Her file here says that she is pretty good at English, but they still want her to shadow you for a bit and pick up some more natural dialogue.”

 

Of course Sun Ye’s English was great.  She’d been working for this her whole life.  And I was suddenly feeling very stupid for not prying more into why she had mysteriously shown up in America looking for me. 

 

“Alright Joe,” I said with a tired sigh.  “Tell her manager that she should meet up with me at the New York Universal offices tomorrow at noon.  I have a photoshoot and interview and she can tag along on that.”

 

“Can do!  I’m glad you’re on board.  See you tomorrow!”

 

I clicked my phone shut and dropped it onto my desk.  My feet dragged me wearily back to my bed and I collapsed in a heap on top of the covers. 

 

 

Dammit Sun Ye.  You knew I couldn’t run away.


End file.
